I’ve got a retarded friend who stops by the house at times. His name is Jay and the little guy is a big movie fan. Hell, he’s got better taste than most of the people that probably come to CHUD.
Well, I was finishing up the Blu-Ray of Die Hard when he came in. It was right at the part, where Alexander Godunov gets his final scare moment. After Reginald VelJohnson blows him away, Jay turns to me.
JAY: Isn’t that guy dead?
ANDERSON: Yeah, Carl Winslow just blew his ass away.
JAY: No. I mean in real life.
ANDERSON: Yeah. His name is Alexander something or another. He died in the 90s.
JAY: What did he die from?
ANDERSON: I don’t know.
JAY: Was it AIDS?
ANDERSON: Maybe. Again, I don’t know.
JAY: I bet it was AIDS. It seems like Die Hard was a movie where a lot of people caught AIDS.
ANDERSON: What?
JAY: Some movies have a lot of AIDS people. It just happens.
ANDERSON: What movies have a lot of AIDS people?
JAY: Rent.
ANDERSON: That was fictional.
JAY: It was a documentary.
ANDERSON: Rent was fictional, dude.
JAY: Rent is real. AIDS and Rent happen to people everyday.
ANDERSON: Fine. How does this connect back to Die Hard?
JAY: AIDS.
ANDERSON: Yes, we’ve covered that.
JAY: Die Hard gave the big blonde guy AIDS.
ANDERSON: No, it didn’t.
JAY: How do you know?
ANDERSON: I know because I don’t think John McTiernan had a big table of AIDS next to Craft Services.
JAY: He could’ve.
Shit like this is why I prefer to watch movies alone. It’s also why I haven’t been writing many blogs lately. Too many conversations like this broke my brain.