Wouldn’t dream of drafting a proper review of Drag Me To Hell.  On the other side of seeing it for the first time, all I’d want to report is that it’s fantastic.  Oh, did I love this movie.

 

Go see it!  Don’t read about it.  Go in blind, and go with the biggest audience you can.  This movie works on an audience in such a primal way.  It’s old-fashioned in all the best senses of the word – Raimi and his producers described it in all the pre-release press as a “spook-a-blast,” which is a William Castle-style appellation which totally fits.  It’s a spook-a-blast!  And that’s all you need to know about it beforehand – you wouldn’t read a review of a roller coaster before you hopped on, would you?  There’s not much I can add to what is already exactly right on point, except of course my own absurd observations and iconoclastic reflections. 

 

Here’s just a few:

 

n      Hey Justin:  Why the Long face? 

(If I’m the only guy who laughs at that one, I’m still good.)

 

n      Along those lines:  Drag Me To Hell turns out to be the rare cinematic argument AGAINST dating nerds.  I will not explain, but let’s just say that a guy’s hobbies can undo his major life goals.

 

n      On the plus side, Drag Me To Hell will hopefully incite a spike in generosity and kindliness towards ethnically ambiguous old crones.  Be nice to gypsies, young’uns.

 

n      A lesson Sam Raimi has absorbed after nearly thirty years of filmmaking:  As wonderful as terrorizing Bruce Campbell is, it’s even more enjoyable to throw tons of water and mud at a pretty girl in a tank-top.

 

n      David Paymer has sad eyes.  [That one is TM & © my movie-going compadre, but it’s too apt an observation not to share.]

 

n      Repeated threatening of cats makes a movie good.

 

n      So do goat puppets.

 

n      I can’t wait for the transvestite community to embrace this movie.  Expect a lot of “Drag Me To Hell” parties across Chelsea and West Hollywood this October.

 

n      Since the movie was rated PG-13, I can’t be too bothered by the parents who brought their baby along.  But I would enjoy the opportunity to speak with that baby a couple decades from now, just to see how this early developmental influence takes root.

 

n      Again, you MUST see this movie with a crowd.  Some of the audience reactions I overheard were nearly as entertaining as the film itself.  One in particular is likely to become my new battle cry: 

 

“Put your hand on the goat!  Put your damn hand on the fuckin’ goat!”

 

 

 

Drag Me To Hell is now playing in wide release.

 

 

 

So am I:

 

jonnyabomb@gmail.com

 

www.twitter.com/jonnyabomb