Stay tuned to this page at 8:00pm for constant textual venom from Steve and myself and intermittent uplinks of audio nonsense to ruin your evening!
Your commentary:
8:12pm: I’m so happy I’m watching ANOTHER damn awards show, featuring pompous bastards applauding themselves – Steve.
8:17pm: Best Supporting Actor in a Mini-Damn, Tom Wilkinson for John Adams.
8:20pm: Best Supporting Actress in Mini-Damn, Laura Dern for Re-Count.
8:21pm: Laura Dern makes the first political reference of the night, after which she is punched in the face by me – Steve.
8:26pm: Don Cheadle looks like he’s a nervous first-timer, complete with shitty line delivery – Steve.
8:30pm: Best Actor in a TV Series: Gabriel Byrne for The Treatment.
8:30pm: Who’s this asshole who thinks he’s Captain Kirk? – Steve.
8:32pm: Best Actress in a TV Series, Anna Paquin for True Blood.
8:39pm: Best Animated Feature Film, Wall-E.
8:44pm: Best Actress in Musical/Comedy, Sally Hawkins for Happy Go-Lucky.
8:47pm: NEWSFLASH – The Jonas Brothers can piss right off – Steve.
8:51pm: Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Where did my life go wrong? – Steve.
8:55pm: I hope Cranford wins – Steve.
8:56pm: Best Mini-Series/TV Movie, John Adams.
8:59pm: Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture, Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight.
9:00pm: Cranford did NOT win. Where’s the justice??? – Steve.
9:07pm: Best Foreign Film, Waltz With (not Doctor) Bashir.
9:11pm: Never Forget.
9:12pm: Best Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series, Laura Linney for John Adams.
9:13pm: Cranford still hasn’t won – Steve.
9:21pm: Best Screenplay, Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire.
9:22pm: Best Actor in a TV Series, Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock.
9:24pm: I like how Alec thanked the daughter he once called a pig. A true Hallmark moment – Steve.
9:28pm: CRANFORD AWARD UPDATE – thankfully, it still has one more category left in which to claim it’s first trophy! – Steve.
9:31pm: Best Actor in a Mini-Damns, Paul Giamatti for John Adams.
9:37pm: Best TV Series – Comedy, 30 Rock.
9:40pm: There’s a guy inhabiting the message boards named Misfit. That guy’s a punk ass – Steve.
9:45pm: Best Original Score, A.R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire.
9:47pm: Best Actress in a TV Series, Tina Fey for 30 Rock.
9:52pm : I’m bored with all of this awards nonsense, so here’s a picture of Ron Ely. Enjoy – Steve.
9:57pm: Spielberg wins an award for being Spielberg, even though he recently phoned in Indy IV – Steve.
10:02pm: I’m watching Psycho Kickboxer at the moment, in the hopes that when I go back to the Globes something interesting will be happening – Steve.
10:14pm: Best Director, Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire.
10:18pm: Sandra Bullock looks like Michael Jackson – Justin.
10:20pm: Best Actor in a Musical/Comedy, Colin Farrell for In Bruges.
10:31pm: Best Motion Picture Musical/Comedy, Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
10:40pm: Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Kate Winslet for Revolutionary Road.
10:45pm: Best TV Series – Drama, Mad Men.
10:51pm: Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama, Mickey “Drunk Ass’ Rourke for The Wrestler.
11:02pm: Best Motion Picture – Drama, Slumdog Millionaire.
11:07pm: And that’s it. Cranford didn’t win a damn thing and neither did I. I’ve had enough of this Golden Girls nonsense – Steve.
Best Motion Picture – Drama
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Frost/Nixon (2008)
The Reader (2008)
Revolutionary Road (2008)
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Burn After Reading (2008)
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)
In Bruges (2008)
Mamma Mia! (2008)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Leonardo DiCaprio for Revolutionary Road (2008)
Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon (2008)
Sean Penn for Milk (2008)
Brad Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler (2008)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married (2008)
Angelina Jolie for Changeling (2008)
Meryl Streep for Doubt (2008)
Kristin Scott Thomas for Il y a longtemps que je t’aime (2008)
Kate Winslet for Revolutionary Road (2008)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Javier Bardem for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Colin Farrell for In Bruges (2008)
James Franco for Pineapple Express (2008)
Brendan Gleeson for In Bruges (2008)
Dustin Hoffman for Last Chance Harvey (2008)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Rebecca Hall for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky (2008)
Frances McDormand for Burn After Reading (2008)
Meryl Streep for Mamma Mia! (2008)
Emma Thompson for Last Chance Harvey (2008)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Tom Cruise for Tropic Thunder (2008)
Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder (2008)
Ralph Fiennes for The Duchess (2008)
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Doubt (2008)
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight (2008)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams for Doubt (2008)
Penélope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Viola Davis for Doubt (2008)
Marisa Tomei for The Wrestler (2008)
Kate Winslet for The Reader (2008)
Best Director – Motion Picture
Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Stephen Daldry for The Reader (2008)
David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon (2008)
Sam Mendes for Revolutionary Road (2008)
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Eric Roth, Robin Swicord
Doubt (2008): John Patrick Shanley
Frost/Nixon (2008): Peter Morgan
The Reader (2008): David Hare
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Simon Beaufoy
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
Bolt (2008)(“I Thought I Lost You”)
Cadillac Records (2008)(“Once in a Lifetime”)
Gran Torino (2008)(“Gran Torino”)
WALL·E (2008)(“Down to Earth”)
The Wrestler (2008)(“The Wrestler”)
Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Changeling (2008): Clint Eastwood
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Alexandre Desplat
Defiance (2008): James Newton Howard
Frost/Nixon (2008): Hans Zimmer
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman
Best Animated Film
Bolt (2008)
Kung Fu Panda (2008)
WALL·E (2008)
Best Foreign Language Film
Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (2008)
Maria Larssons eviga ögonblick (2008)
Gomorra (2008)
Il y a longtemps que je t’aime (2008)
Waltz with Bashir (2008)
Best Television Series – Drama
“Dexter” (2006)
“House M.D.” (2004)
“In Treatment” (2008)
“Mad Men” (2007)
“True Blood” (2007)
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
“Californication” (2007)
“Entourage” (2004)
“The Office” (2005)
“30 Rock” (2006)
“Weeds” (2005)
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Bernard and Doris (2007)
“Cranford” (2007)
“John Adams” (2008)
A Raisin in the Sun (2008) (TV)
Recount (2008) (TV)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Ralph Fiennes for Bernard and Doris (2007)
Paul Giamatti for “John Adams” (2008)
Kevin Spacey for Recount (2008) (TV)
Kiefer Sutherland for 24: Redemption (2008) (TV)
Tom Wilkinson for Recount (2008) (TV)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Judi Dench for “Cranford” (2007)
Catherine Keener for An American Crime (2007)
Laura Linney for “John Adams” (2008)
Shirley MacLaine for Coco Chanel (2008) (TV)
Susan Sarandon for Bernard and Doris (2007)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Alec Baldwin for “30 Rock” (2006)
Steve Carell for “The Office” (2005)
Kevin Connolly for “Entourage” (2004)
David Duchovny for “Californication” (2007)
Tony Shalhoub for “Monk” (2002)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Christina Applegate for “Samantha Who?” (2007)
America Ferrera for “Ugly Betty” (2006)
Tina Fey for “30 Rock” (2006)
Debra Messing for “The Starter Wife” (2008)
Mary-Louise Parker for “Weeds” (2005)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama
Gabriel Byrne for “In Treatment” (2008)
Michael C. Hall for “Dexter” (2006)
Jon Hamm for “Mad Men” (2007)
Hugh Laurie for “House M.D.” (2004)
Jonathan Rhys Meyers for “The Tudors” (2007)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama
Sally Field for “Brothers & Sisters” (2006)
Mariska Hargitay for “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (1999)
January Jones for “Mad Men” (2007)
Anna Paquin for “True Blood” (2007)
Kyra Sedgwick for “The Closer” (2005)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Neil Patrick Harris for “How I Met Your Mother” (2005)
Denis Leary for Recount (2008) (TV)
Jeremy Piven for “Entourage” (2004)
Blair Underwood for “In Treatment” (2008)
Tom Wilkinson for “John Adams” (2008)
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Eileen Atkins for “Cranford” (2007)
Laura Dern for Recount (2008) (TV)
Melissa George for “In Treatment” (2008)
Rachel Griffiths for “Brothers & Sisters” (2006)
Dianne Wiest for “In Treatment” (2008)