It’s
the holidays and we’re feeling it even here in the Sewer. This year
we’re taking stock of the many gifts we’ve gotten from the movies over
the years and celebrating them in the form of a Christmas carol. In our
own special way.

While the traditional 12 Days of Christmas
counts up from one, we think it’s more fun to count down between now
and the big day (and yeah, we built in some slack for ourselves). So
sit back and get ready for some great moments from some great CHUD
favorites, and some possible holiday gift ideas while we’re at it.

On the eleventh day til Christmas my true CHUD sent to me…

Eleven Inappropriate Kills



When
a traumatized kid dons a Santa suit, Christmas runs red. Eleven people
(not counting the snowman) are killed by one of two psychotic Santas in
Silent Night, Deadly Night, the holiday horror film that is one of the few films in the US as reviled as the legendary ‘video nasties’ in England.

Charles
E. Sellier Jr’s low-budget slasher flick earned loads of controversial
press (and a scathing review from Gene Siskel, below) for featuring a criminally deranged Santa who violates a family
(after killing a convenience store clerk) and for the carnage that
follows when one of the family’s surviving children snaps on Christmas
Eve. It’s also notable for Linnea Quigley’s denim shorts, which might
be the shortest in Christmas history. All the kills (counting the
snowman) are cheap, and more fun than they have any right to be.

Actually, hold up. Silent Night, Deadly Night
is a terrible movie. It’s a salty old scab on the soft, dewy body of
Christmas horror films. So why is it on the list? Because a couple days
ago I had a hell of a time watching and ridiculing the movie at the
Plaza Theater in Atlanta. (The scenes with Grandpa are some of 1984’s best.) A handful of other CHUD readers were there
along with an audience excited to have a good time watching a stupid
movie.

Not long ago Devin was re-energized after going to the
New Beverly in LA, and we’ve got a lot of readers who patronize rep
theaters all across the country — enough that Devin and I have both
talked about doing a weekly feature to round up what’s playing across
the nation’s rep houses. I’m proud that we’ve got a readership that
supports houses showing the good and the bad, that our audience can be
equally thrilled seeing a run of Kurosawa films or a piece of crap like
Silent Night, Deadly Night.

So celebrate the holidays by going to see something with a group of friends. Buy a friend a membership at the Brattle
if you’re in the Boston area, or get the some tickets for shows at the
monumental Harvard Film Archive, currently curated by Haden Guest, who
might have more books signed by David Lynch than anyone I know. Take
some friends to one of the great shows at the New Beverly,
or do as Alex Riviello has done for months and find a local bar where
you can get folks together to enjoy seeing a film alongside a bunch of
fellow drunks. (And if you run or love another rep theater, write me and I’ll link it here and in the upcoming column.)

And yeah, if you really want to, grab a copy of Silent Night, Deadly Night from CHUD at Amazon.