31 Days of Horror(1)

Today is another wild card entry.  I mean who can resist a premise like cannibal sorority girls?

tusk

The Delta Delta Pi sorority is the hottest sorority at Generic California College University, best known for their bake sales and their delicious pies.  But young Tobias thinks there’s something fishy about this hot carnist sorority and in the process of digging up dirt he finds Rhonda (Brinke Stevens) an ex-member who was with the den mother (Julie Strain) from the beginning and knows the truth of their cannibalistic origins.  Now Rhonda and Tobias are out to stop the sorority once and for all.

Julie Strain, Brinke Stevens, and Tiffany Shepis are all known for two things and neither one of them is acting talent.  True to form this movie is pretty much Tits City though Stevens, like her name-brand counterpart Linnea Quigley, has reached that point (read: the age of 40) where she doesn’t have to remove her top every time she appears in something.  Strain however, is topless as much as possible and then some, many times despite the fact that it makes no sense.

Delta Delta Die is just a never-ending parade of bad dialogue, worse acting, campy gore, and nudity so gratuitous that it would make Russ Meyer blush.  This movie is hot garbage, it’s low-budget hackneyed filth, it is an affront to quality and art.   I kind of love it.  I love its blatant soft-core sensibilities.  I love its cornball edginess.  I love Brinke Stevens playing a lower-budget version of the character that Adrienne Barbeau played in The Convent.  I love that Brinke Stevens attacks people by snarling, holding her hands in claws, and pouncing at them like a jungle cat.  I love that the climactic scene of the movie is a lackluster cat fight between Stevens and Julie  Strain.  This is a dogshit movie and it’s amazing in its audacity.

Watch, Toss, Or Buy? You have to at least watch.

If You Liked This, Watch: Elfie Hopkins (2012), Sorority House Massacre (1986), Sorority Row (2009), Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), 2001 Maniacs (2005), Parents (1989), The Corpse Grinders (1971), Sweeney Todd (2007)