I guess I’m speaking for everyone when I say: FINALLY! It has taken a lot of patience, a lot of praying, and six Rammstein albums to date, but the most prestigious secret agent franchise in history is finally returning for good: xXx. Diesel has just announced they’ll start shooting in December.
Back in the day, Diesel left 2 Fast 2 Furious as he was expecting this other Rob Cohen feature xXx to become a major franchise. Well, the movie was quite successful and it did spawn a sequel, but somehow it didn’t feature Diesel as extreme sports enthusiast Xander ‘xXx’ Cage. Instead, the sequel xXx: State of the Union had NWA ringleader Ice Cube as the new xXx agent, as Diesel was busy shooting a way more personal production, The Pacifier. In the second xXx movie, Samuel L. Jackson’s mentor Augustus Gibbons said that the original xXx had been assassinated, and there’s even a deleted scene on the home video release showing a bald stand-in getting blown to hell. Expect a little retconning. Diesel’s instagram message confirms that they’re going with the most recent script that has Cage fight pirates in the Philippines, and while there aren’t any other details, expect Samuel L. Jackson to be back as his instructor.
(Sad note: Remember the funny Q-like guy that showed up in both movies? That actor’s name was Michael Roof, and apparently he was found dead in 2009, hanging from a tree. Let’s hope the next xXx movie is dedicated to Mr. Roof.)
Okay, I can’t really end this item on such a sad note. Therefore, as an actual German, let me give you a bunch of Rammstein track recommendations (you can listen to all of the Rammstein albums on Spotify).
From Herzeleid (Heartbreak):
#1 – Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen (Do you want to see the bed in flames?) – includes sound fx from the original Doom video game
#2 – Der Meister (The master)
#4 – Asche zu Asche (Ashes to ashes) – this is about a vengeful crucified, possibly Jesus, coming back to kill his killers
#6 – Du riechst so gut (You smell so great) – deals with an insane man who stalks a woman
#8 – Heirate mich (Marry me) – deals with a husband who digs up his dead wife’s body to…
#11 – Laichzeit (Spawning time) – a man makes love to his mother, his sister, and his dog
From Sehnsucht (Yearning)
#1 – Sehnsucht
#2 – Engel (Angel) – this one is actually about innocent angels, has qualities of a fable
#3 – Tier (Animal) – and this is about a pedophile
#5 – Du hast (You got) – you probably know this one from The Matrix soundtrack
#7 – Bück dich (Bend over) – you really should check out a concert video on Youtube. Obviously NSFW.
From Mutter (Mother)
#1 – Mein Herz brennt (My heart burns) – another fable, very operatic
#2 – Links 2 3 4 (Left 2 3 4) – some thought Rammstein were nazis, so they released this song putting themselves away from nazism/fascism
#3 – Sonne (Sun) – and one more fable
#4 – Ich will (I want)
#5 – Feuer frei (Fire in the hole)
#8 – Zwitter (Hermaphrodite)
#10 – Adios – this is about a drug addict
#11 – Nebel (Fog) – this is more of a ballad
From Reise, Reise (Travel, travel):
– #1 – Reise Reise
– #2 – Mein Teil (My piece) – deals with the highly talked about German cannibal case of Rohtenburg, great video as well
– #4 – Keine Lust (Don’t feel like it)
From Rosenrot (Rose-red):
– #1 – Benzin (Gasoline)
– #7 – Zerstören (To destroy)
– #10 – Feuer und Wasser (Fire and water) – an eerie track about swimming behind a nude woman
From Liebe ist für alle da (Love is for everyone):
– #2 – Ich tue dir weh (I will hurt you) – this is about extreme sadism, one line has the singer put barbed wire into someone’s urethra (fun!)
– #4 – Haifisch (Shark) – probably the catchiest Rammstein song ever, about sad sharks in the ocean
– #11 – Fuhre mich (Guide me) – from the Nymphomaniac soundtrack
From Rare Tracks
– # 9 – Mein Land (My country)