FINALLY!!!
After decades of under appreciation Otto Von whatzhisnuts, AKA Spiderman’s coolest freakin’ villain SWARM, is getting his due. and what a due it is bay-bee. Broadway for the Swarm!
Broadway?
Yeah, I cannot believe it either. My jaw literally dropped, shattered into a couple hundred pieces and needed to be swept up* and then crazy-glued back together.
You can read about the news, posted here by Mr. Devin Faraci:
http://chud.com/articles/articles/18730/1/ONCE-SPIDER-MAN-HAS-DEFEATED-SWISS-MISS-HE-CAN-GO-AFTER-OVALTINA/Page1.html
I am soooo excited**. Back in the day when I was in a band called The Schlitz Family Robinson we actually had crafted a multi-part Casio-Opera about good ol’ Otto. I don’t know what is was about him that excited us so. I know it had a little bit to do with our passion for High Falls Brewing Co.’s HONEY BROWN lager at the time. Or perhaps it was just the sheer ridiculousnes of the concept behind the character. The tune became a bit of a hit with some people we knew, mostly the crew of southside drunks, criminals and degenerates that folllowed us around (I mean that with love, too) It depicting Swarm’s attempts at picking up girls at the Dayglo Canary, a disco we imagined would have been quite the attraction for him. It was bad. Good bad, but three dudes hunkered around a table full of SK-1’s and various other even then antiquated Casio products, all run through a chain of effects processors that would have confused Johnny Greenwood does not a ‘Let it Bee’ make. I remember the drum beat for the second part sounded kinda like scobby doo and his pals when they beat feet in hasty retreat.
Anyway, the Swarm fire started someone then went on to pay further tribute to Swarmy by crafting a cocktail named after the guy! What follows is the recipe, enjoy!!!
Equal parts Rum and Vodka to start. Yeah, Rum and Vodka. Yeah, I know that is not a good idea, but then again neither is drinking a cocktail concocted in celebration of an evil mastermind, eh?
Anyway, so drop your booze in the blender (yes, it’s one of those. I’m not saying drink it everyday, but you want to impress Silver Sable or Black Widow? Carry on then!), add in a healthy dose of that magnificent but stomach-puncturing Orange/Pineapple/Banana juice that various conglomerate food companies mass produce (YUM!!!) and then, and this is the ‘secret’ ingredient – add a touch O’ Honey! Flash blend*** and enjoy while reading one of the, like two issues of Spiderman ol’ Swarmy appeared in.
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* Because our shitty Eureka vacuum cleaner is broke AGAIN! HEY, Eureka, your vacuums suck and I’m about ready to come over there and take this shit out of your hide, bitch!
** Not really that excited.
*** This does not mean you blend it while naked****, it means don’t blend it solid, just chip the ice basically.
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**** Unless you want it to mean you should blend it naked.