DELLAMORTE'S BOX OFFICE WRAP UP 8/22/08

This just in: Arcade Fire were reached for comment, but when asked they simply hummed the opening bars of “Try a Little Tenderness” and our reporters hair stood up on the back of her neck. It was a beautiful moment, one that cannot be conveyed in print. But if you squint, you might see a unicorn.

This weekend gave two picture two wins. For Tropic Thunder, the win is staying number one after having a not-great Friday. For The House Bunny, it’s doing as well as it has. With a production budget of $25 Million, this is likely the first non-Sandler-starring Happy Madison picture that can be considered a solid win for everyone involved. Tropic Thunder is spitting at $70 after two weeks, so it’s more than likely it will cross that century mark. Especially considering the weak competition that’s coming. While The House Bunny could play just long enough to double its production budget, it probably won’t (I’d say closer to $40 than $50), but that’s a great number for a film that was sold on Anna Farris’s face. But she also had all those Scary Movies and such, so it’s not like she hasn’t had some success before. This, though, seems sold on her more than anything, so an asking price bump could be in order.  

The obvious automotive analogies are in order for Death Race. It stalled (you know that music when someone fails on Price is Right? Play it in your mind right now). It’s transmission was shot (and here). The carburetor overheated and put a hole in the wiper fluid container, which then got all over the intake manifold, and then you’re going to have to get the Langston seven inch wrench to take care of it (I said sprocket, not socket). With barely $12 Million in the bank, an a likely 50% fall off next weekend even with the four day, it’ll be lucky to (tom) cruise past $30 Million. This is something of a black eye, as even though critics didn’t like it, Universal basically had the weekend to themselves, and should have been able to get a $20 Million opening out of this picture. Hell, they barely did two million more than Crank‘s opener. Where does Paul W.S. Anderson go after this? I, for one, hope he remakes The Road Warrior with Justin Timberlake as Max. Ooh, or Christian Bale. Or Bruce Campbell.

Otherwise… notice what’s not in the top ten? It’s called The Rocker. And it look like Rainn Wilson just took the High Road to China. The Longshots shows that Ice Cube has wore out his welcome. Will WB qua New Line shell out Twenty Mil to Chris Tucker for a fourth Friday? That’s one of the only ways that Cube will be back to bankable. Not that he might not have a couple of things down the pike. But he’s turned to kids films, which may mean it’s over. Dude’s got piles of money, though and he starred in XXX: State of the Union. His legacy is undeniable.

The Dark Knight is still doing bang up business, but any hopes of it leveling out should be gone at this point. I still think by the end of labor day weekend it’ll be hitting the half a billion mark, if only because the suits love round numbers. But, if not, it’ll be very close, and it’ll still get there regardless. Man, they should give Bruce Wayne a puppy sidekick in the third film. Make it more for kids. The end of the second film has everyone hating on Batman, but then if he had a bat dog, that was, like a Shi Tzu or something? People would melt like cheese. It’s a bat-puppy!

The Clone Wars is the least successful cinematic out of anything Lucas since The Radioland Murders. Since it’s a big advertisement for the cartoon show, I don’t think anyone cares. Except maybe fns of Droids. Mirrors fell (hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry), Meryl Streep has proved herself to be a big summer counter-programming winner, and The Mummy will probably just eke out over $100 when it wraps. And Pineapple Express will have to do with a $90 Million total. Man, Paper Planes gets a crowd going like nobody’s business. Just saying.