Boy, Lifetime’s really outdone themselves with this one.

I knew we were getting a Grumpy Cat movie, and I knew Aubrey Plaza was going to be voicing the titular feline but I did not know we were getting this. I assumed we were gonna get something animated, something with merchandising potential. But THIS? IMDb doesn’t even have a director listed for this. That means this movie directed itself, which is definitely a sign of the coming judgement day. Feast your eyes:

In case you’re wondering where you might have seen the blonde girl before, she played the bespectacled orphan in Andrés Muschietti’s Mama. In case you’re wondering what they’ve used to make Aubrey Plaza’s voice sound so flat, I hear methadone does a really good job of that. In case you’re wondering what might make this film tolerable, I hear pot brownies might do the trick. Consume at your own risk.