Don’t begrudge Christian Mingle their film-as-advertisement. Guardians of the Galaxy is a filmed advertisement for toys and backpacks and trade paperbacks and cartoons and whatever. Guardians just so happens to be an entertaining film that a lot of people liked. THIS appears to be a film about a spineless person who acts on the advice of whatever commercial happens to play on her TV at any given moment. Hmm…I wonder if that commercial for that product will lead her to a better life?

Maybe we should begrudge Christian Mingle this film.

Christians have to be bummed out by this shit too, right? Both of the leads seem stupid to the point of non-functioning. She doesn’t know enough about Christianity to effectively lie about…anything and he doesn’t pick up on the fact that she knows…nothing? Can someone please crop dust their wedding with a neutering agent before they create a race of ignorant liars?

Shockingly, this film is directed by Corbin Bernsen (The Dentist!!!) and features David Keith in some capacity. The sound you now hear is Nick Nunziata logging on to Fandango.