Happy Inauguration Day, America!  No matter which way we voted last November, let’s all be good patriots and hope for the best for our country now. 

 

But that’s politics, and this is a movie website.  So now, in honor of our new President, here are the definitive recommendations for casting the leads in the inevitable Obama movie version… 

 

 

 

Vice-President Joe Biden will be played by Ronny Cox, from Beverly Hills Cop, Robocop, and Beverly Hills Cop 2.

 

 

First Lady Michelle Obama will be played by Robin Givens, or in the case that Robin Givens is not available, then by that actress who played Robin Givens in that ‘90s Mike Tyson biopic with Michael Jai White.

 

 

And our 44th President of our United States, Barack Obama, will be played by…

 

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[Dramatic pause, music swells…]

 

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Yes, I know that Harry Lennix, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and even Will Smith are considered by many experts to be much more viable possibilities, but seriously, hear me out here…

 

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I’m way serious, I’ve given it a lot of thought, and if you’re willing to do the same, you will see clearly that I’m onto something with my ultimate decision, and that decision is…

 

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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

 

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I know what you’re gonna say.  I know.  I know the build is way different, just for starters.  But the vocal patterns are way more similar than you might think, and also we’re gonna need someone who can rock a crowd.

 

Dwayne Johnson IS Barack Obama: The Movie.

 

 

 

Casting directors, you’re welcome.  You can contact me with my royalty checks through CHUD.com.

 

 

[Blows smoke from gun barrel, re-holsters his casting six-shooter, heads off into the sunset.]