When we talked about Phantasm V: Ravager earlier this week, I pointed  out that the sequel had been filming “little by little since 2008” and how that’s typically not a good sign. Well, it looks like I was (sadly) right. The footage is full of bad green screen and lousy Adobe After Effects, which sucks, because I’m sure there would have been a legion of practical effects guys who would have worked on a new Phantasm movie for next to nothing.

And while we get a few shots of Angus Scrimm as The Tall Man, nothing really sticks out. You’re telling me there wasn’t a single shot of Scrimm in full regalia doing something cool or iconic for more than half a second (the cutting in this teaser is frantic!)? The Hemi ‘Cuda gets a better reveal, for fuck’s sake!

It’s also hilarious that this teaser decides to give us a shot of Reggie scrambling through a generic desert on the other side of a chain link fence. That’s a shoe leather shot at best, not worthy of inclusion in any trailer. Again, not a good sign.

Who am I kidding? I’m going to watch this movie, maybe more than once. I still care about Phantasm on a deeper level than most franchises and I can suffer through a bad one-off once every 16 years. Let’s just hope it’s a one-off…