Oh, McG. You’re really earning the enmity of the geek community lately. As if it wasn’t enough for you to take Spaced behind the high school and rape her on a live webcam, now you’re helming a PG-13 Terminator movie. Producers from the Halcyon Company, the people paying to make this film (which will be distributed through Warner Bros), told Variety that this movie is going to be a PG-13 fo sho so they can get their merchandising on.
“Our merchandising program will be the largest to date for ‘The Terminator,’ “ said Halcyon co-founder and co-CEO Derek Anderson. “We won’t force it. We are carrying on in the tradition of the mythology, with an exciting approach to the action. If we can make a compelling film to reach the widest audience, why wouldn’t we do it?”
I don’t know, Derek. Maybe because you’re taking an R-rated franchise (with one shitty blip) and extending it into a horrific post-apocalyptic future war? Look, I’m not the kind of guy who is clamoring for the hard R My Little Pony movie*. I understand that some properties are PG-13 properties. I respectfully say that Terminator is not one of them. Just look at the title. It isn’t Incapacitator. It isn’t Humiliator. It’s Terminator. One who terminates.
Derek said that he never even discussed an R-rated T4 with Warner Bros; what’s funny is that the pre-strike script had some tough minded stuff in it, things that made me assume an R rating was on the table. Halcyon thinks this is no problemo, though. “The ratings have changed,” said Halcyon co-founder and co-CEO Victor Kubicek, a broker-turned-writer-producer. “The PG-13 has increased in intensity.” Nice, Vic. Antagonize the MPAA in advance.
Terminator Salvia started shooting today. From the sound of it, it’ll go on shooting but will never start blood squibbing.
*Co-starring Mr. Hands.