DELLAMORTE'S BOX OFFICE WRAP UP – 2/29/08

This just In: Loud noises.

In the old west if you took too much water out you could poison the well, and it looks like that’s what Will Ferrell has done. His streak has been pretty golden, but Semi-Pro became yet another Will Ferrell goofy sports movie, and so it’s easy to see why tracking was off. On Friday tracking was suggesting
that Semi-Pro would
be that hit that New Line hadn’t been able to cook up for these long
months. But – for better or ill – Shaye gets to go out on an even worse
note. Men likely responded in the positive to the film, but couldn’t be bothered with the actual watching of it. Hard R was a good way to go to spice it up (Blades of Glory was PG-13), but with such lackluster TV spots, a low ringer-count comedy cast (comedy is not spelled 3000), and a music video that was plain not funny (“love me sexy” is not even that humorous an idea) it won’t be surprising to watch this sucker top out at $40 mil. Cause next week it’ll have 10,000 B.C. to contend with, and that’s going to open big (and die). Hopefully Step-Brothers redeems him in funny.

What’s a smudge for Will Ferrell is sadly another black eye for New Line. They’ve got the Sex and the City film
coming this summer, which looks like a break in
the storm. But that’s months away. That said, if the company wants to put a positive spin on it,
when was the last leap year, like, four years ago? And I’m guessing it
wasn’t a Friday, so kudos, New Line, you have the highest 2/29 daily
gross IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA. Look for that to be beat sometime in
2028 (FUTURISTIC SOUNDING).

If I can’t do it; homey, it can’t be done.

Vantage Point held strong because the audience for the picture is likely not all that discriminating. “I want to see a thriller.” “Hey, this movie has a lot of people in it.” “Sounds good. I like people.” (optional: read the last three sentences in Dax Shephard’s Frito voice), while being the only kids movie out has been a boon for The Spiderwick Chronicles. I was talking to a friend last night who so happy we have the internet because it eliminated the need to go to see Spiderwick just to see the Indy trailer (back in ’98 more people were on dial-up), so that gross is likely not boosted by the trailer.

I guess I underestimated the ability of costume dramas and boobs to get asses in theaters. Boobs. Asses. Assess the gross, Dellamorte. That $8 Million is ripe and lusty. It looks like America ripped the shit out of Boleyn‘s bodice. Since I make my living writing Harelquinn romance novels this bodes well for my would-be transition to the big screen if we can keep the budgets down. With a film like this you have a high-profile cast, but none of them are openers (or in the Mamet-sense, closers), so for what it is it’s a highly successful weekend considering it’s not going to be an Oscar contender, and period pieces generally mean respectability, but that’s not what this was. So bully I say. Especially when you compare it to Penelope, which died on the fucking vine. Then again that one’s been sitting in a can for two years.

I hear a Chud writer went (or was going) to see Step Up 2. Having looked at her pictures, I’m willing to suggest that Chud become the one-stop shop for lechery w/r/t Brianna Evigan. But when Step Up 2 crossed $40 the sequel was already greenlit, so our work here is done. No Country and Juno took their Oscars and worked them into some last minute money (No Country hits DVD any minute now), with No Country the Coens’ most successful film ever. But I’m sure (as Devin suggested) the audience who saw the film this weekend may have walked away disappointed. But at least the academy got some things right this year