Eventually, Hideo Kojima will find himself faced with a world that no longer wants him cutting 6 minute trailers to his games. When that day comes, he will engulf this world in nuclear fire, and he will be glad of it. Until then, embrace the fact that Kojima will sell any story like it was written in the Bible in the blood of Jesus Christ himself, on a dead sea scroll they found in the Ark of the Covenant.

Luckily, instead of applying that principle to military-industrial complex wankery, he’s applying it to the Lords of Shadow sequel, which at least has scale and imagination on its side. And Dracula. And Patrick Stewart and Robert Carlyle playing a game called Who’s More Slippery. And moving castles. And magical fire fairies. And ethereal swords. And armored angels. And clockwork golems. And, again, that promise that they’re calling it quits after two games and a portable. I’m not sure the game could feel bigger after two games and a portable, either.

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