Get Bent Under a Tree
 Singing About Apples
1
 Vantage Point
 $24,000,000 $7,621  $24,000,000
2
 Jumper $12,650,000 (-53.8%) $3,688 $56,206,000
3
 The Spiderwick Chronicles $12,600,000 (-33.7%) $3,275 $43,576,000
4
 Step Up 2 the Streets $9,787,000 (-48.2%) $3,946 $41,419,000
5
 Fool’s Gold $6,270,000 (-51.4%) $2,039 $52,433,000
6
 Definitely, Maybe $5,184,000 (-46.9%) $2,335 $21,781,000
7
 Be Kind Rewind
 $4,100,000 $5,074 $4,100,000
8
 Juno $$4,100,000 (-11.1%) $2,374 $130,377,000 
9
 Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins $3,989,000 (-53.1%) $2,129 $35,498,000
10
 There Will Be Blood $2,561,000 (-15.5%) $1,826 $34,986,000

This just In: Billie Jean? Not my lover. She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid? Not my son. Hee hee yeah.

One of the greatest pieces of advice ever given was to Danny Noonan, when Judge Smails told him that “the world needs ditch-diggers.” Well, this ethos could be applied to many things in life. If you are horny, sex is sex, and whether it be – say – with Natalie Portman or Leonardo Di Caprio, or some guy or girl you go home with who may or ay not have all their appendages, the results are the same (hangovers and guilt may be different). Taking that all the way home, being the #1 film of the weekend – whether you are there with $150 Million or $24 – you’re still the #1 film in America. And so, on this sleepy Oscar weekend,  for a brief moment Gordo Cooper became the greatest pilot anyone had ever seen. Or, that is to say Vantage Point took the #1 slot. The film will likely top out around $50 Million, but this feels like a victory for a film that feels like it sat around for a while. Even if it didn’t.

“Ooh it’s a got a multiple perspective narrative!”
“You mean like Snake Eyes?”
“Yes, exactly like Snake Eyes.”

When all is said and done, Jumper and The Spiderwick Chronicles will maybe wrestle for this weekend’s silver. The hairs are being split as we speak. Jumper behaved like a normal action picture, and tumbled for you like it was Boy George, whilst Chronicles held like a kid’s pic with no competition. My guess is eventually the Spiderwick triumphs. Step Up 2 is probably just collecting extra ducats, blah blah blah blah. Definitely Maybe better hope to become a home video fave.

Be Kind Rewind did okay for its limited release (in)dependant style whatever it is.  On 800 screens starring Jack Black, sorta weird, etc. New Line didn’t know what to do, and it shows, if it finds a home, it’ll be on home video, which doubles the irony. I bet that release will be action-packed with great bits and things. Even if the film only gets to ten, Gondry still keeps his street cred, and music video jobs, and commercials, so no worries. Another misfire on the New Line catalog. Hey, Michael Shaye? How’s it going? Juno is the most profitable Oscar picture, though the awards it wins tonight may not mean much now that it’s been around. Yes, the weekdays may get a boost this week – hell, it’ll probably be a big weekday draw – but with all that coin in the bank, it don’t mean much for it to keep going. At this point.

Think about this: at the moment, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins has made more money then There Will Be Blood.

I feel like I put as much (if not more) effort into this summary than Hollywood put into this weekend. I’d call it quarter-ass. But it’s a sleepy time of year for this stuff, and as Sam “Ace” Rothstein put it: “And that’s that.” And that’s that.