Per THR, here’s your first look at the assembled cast of Lars Von Trier’s controversy magnet Nymphomaniac in what looks like a Vanity Fair shoot gone to pot or a Gregory Crewdson photo before he took his meds. Willem Dafoe having his English Patient wiped, Shia Labeouf experiencing the Rise of the Fallen, Christian Slater auditioning for Muffs, Udo Kier and Uma Thurman preparing for Barren Munchsession.

The film arrives late this year and many of you will jack off for all the wrong reasons.