If I ever watched an episode of Dragonball Z, it certainly wasn’t on purpose. And if I ever did this detestable thing, I definitely
didn’t enjoy it. And I know this to be the Non’s honest truth because,
last I checked, Hayao Miyazaki, Satoshi Kon, Mamoru Oshii and Katsuhiro
Otomo never put their name to a Dragonball feature.
It’s not that I hate manga and anime; it’s just that I hate bad
manga and anime, and there happens to be a surplus of it (which is why
I limit my viewing to the work of the four old men above). Dragonball
has come to epitomize everything I loathe about the hyperactive and
hyper-incoherent worst impulses of the genres (at least from what I’ve
gleaned in passing); it’s all about sensory overload. Even thinking
about it wears me out.
Given the Dragonball
brand’s worldwide popularity, I’m not surprised that a major Hollywood
studio has decided to give it a live-action go. And I’m particularly
unsurprised to learn that this cynical exercise in pointlessness will
be bankrolled by Fox. What troubles me, however, is that the great
Stephen Chow will produce the film. Obviously, it was only a matter of
time before Chow cashed in stateside, but… Dragonball?
Worse, Fox is rushing the film into production to make an August 15,
2008 release date, so you just know this is going to be something
special. Factor in the leading pretty-boy duo of Justin Chatwin and
James Marsters, and that should tell
you how very much Fox cares
about this movie. James Wong, who’s a pretty deft hand with trash, is
signed to direct. I’ve actually enjoyed everything Wong’s directed (Final Destination 1 & 3, The One)
on one dubious level or another; if he he were the sole draw, I might
pencil this in as a promising piece of garbage for ’08.
But I expect more from Stephen Chow. Though he’s made some crappy
movies in his day, he’s never trawled the artistic depths where Dragonball resides.