Before superstations and home video, horror-movie hosts were a staple of local broadcast TV. Obscure genre flicks could be licensed in bulk, drawing a few extra advertising dollars from waterbed companies and giving insomniacs something to watch besides a test pattern. Growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I studied schlock at the feet of Creature Features’ John Stanley, who introduced bloody Hammer Studios productions from the comfort of a tweed jacket and an easy chair. His style (inherited from his predecessor, the beloved Bob Wilkins) was low-key and quietly subversive. If I’d only known then what the nocturnal denizens of L.A. were getting: the same movies, but fronted by a former Vegas showgirl and member of the Groundlings improv troupe, trussed up in iconic vampirette drag and wielding the most shameless line of innuendo since Mae West.
"I just remembered why I never sit on this side of the couch."
Cassandra Peterson first squeezed her juicy double entendres onto the airwaves in 1981, hosting Movie Macabre as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. The episodes presented here date from ‘82 and ‘83, by which point the character already appears (haha) fully formed. This is the first time any of those original shows have been made available on DVD.
The Packages
Each set consists of two discs showcasing one movie each. The trailer block on each disc is identical– it looks like the shows were originally slated for individual release before a decision was made to bundle them. You have the choice of watching the complete program with Elvira’s introductions, skits and commercial breaks, or in ‘movie-only’ mode. As near as I can tell, the films are unedited and uncensored (unlike the original broadcasts), and their content is the same regardless of which viewing option you choose. The positioning of the chapter stops also facilitates watching a disc in ‘Elvira-only’ mode if, for some mysterious reason, that’s your thing.
The sets are not officially numbered, so I’m basing the order of reviews on Shout! Factory’s catalog listing.
Elvira’s Movie Macabre: Blue Sunshine/Monstroid
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STUDIO: Shout! Factory
MSRP: $14.99
RATED: R
Blue Sunshine (1976)
RUNNING TIME: 105 min complete, 94 min movie-only
The Humans
Zalman King (That’s right, the Red Shoe Diaries guy), Richard Crystal
The Lowdown
A doctor is accused of murder when his friends start experiencing flashbacks (and dramatic hair loss) as a result of LSD experimentation ten years earlier. Elvira takes the opportunity to look back on her hippie days.
Video for the feature appears to have been replaced with a recent transfer: the image is letterboxed except when clips play during Elvira’s segments. The vintage portions of the program look about as good as early ‘80s video ever did.
4 out of 10
Monstroid (aka Monster, 1979)
RUNNING TIME: 95 min complete, 80 min movie-only
The Humans
Jim Mitchum, John Carradine
"C is for Carnage, that good enough for me!"
The Lowdown
A big green creature terrorizes a Colombian lake community. Is it the result of industrial pollution… or the wrath of God? Elvira takes a call from Breather, a recurring character on the show, and answers some viewer mail.
Back in the day, independent TV stations used to get their movies on 16mm film, and performed their own telecine to put the picture on the air. It nearly always looked like crap, and that’s what is lovingly preserved here. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving film. Kudos to the production crew for at least trying to build a full-size monster though.
4 out of 10
Overall: 4 out of 10
Elvira’s Movie Macabre: Gamera, Super Monster/They Came From Beyond Space
BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Shout! Factory
MSRP: $14.99
RATED: not rated
Gamera, Super Monster (1980)
RUNNING TIME: 103 min complete, 92 min movie-only
The Humans
Mach Fumiake, Yaeko Kojima
Only an asshole gets killed for a minivan.
The Lowdown
A trio of spacey superheroines and a knockoff Star Destroyer have something to do with extensive recycled footage from the famed flying turtle’s previous outings. Meanwhile, an annoying little boy dreams of a Gamera/Star Blazers mashup. Elvira contributes to the FX budget with a sequence of her own.
Even Gamera would rather be watching something else.
Very little entertainment value here, ironic or otherwise. Elvira’s commentary is surprisingly unfunny, perhaps reflecting ‘80s paranoia about the Japanese taking over everything. There are jokes about sushi, bad accents, even a gong noise at one point. At least the movie’s letterboxed, which must have been a labor of love for somebody.
3 out of 10
They Came From Beyond Space (1967)
RUNNING TIME: 98 min complete, 84 min movie-only
The Humans
Robert Hutton, Jennifer Jayne, Michael Gough
The Lowdown
A group of meteors falls to Earth in a perfect triangular pattern and you know that can’t be good. Mind-control and a viral epidemic ensue. Elvira takes another call from Breather, and presents a sneak peek at The Werewolf of Washington.
An early effort from Hammer veteran Freddie Francis (The Creeping Flesh), this juvenile adventure is a solid timewaster, operating in British sci-fi territory somewhere between Quatermass and Doctor Who. The cast plays everything straight and the music is groovy.
7 out of 10
Overall: 6 out of 10
Elvira’s Movie Macabre: Maneater of Hydra/The House That Screamed
BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Shout! Factory
MSRP: $14.99
RATED: PG
Maneater of Hydra (Isla de la Muerte, 1967)
RUNNING TIME: 99 min complete, 88 min movie-only
The Humans
Cameron Mitchell, Elisa Montes, George Martin
"Okay, who wants to just skip ahead to the next movie?"
The Lowdown
A scientist on a remote island introduces his guests to a collection of flesh-eating plants.
I remember this one freaking me out a bit when I was 10. And that was just the jazzy animated titles. Video and audio quality are awful: we get another vintage telecine, complete with sound dropouts and the panned-and-scanned picture occasionally slipping out of frame. Elvira is at a loss for a theme to her commentary this time around.
"Meee…"
4 out of 10
The House That Screamed (La Residencia, 1969)
RUNNING TIME: 109 min complete, 97 min movie-only
The Humans
Lilli Palmer, Cristina Galbo, John Moulder Brown, Mary Maude
The Lowdown
Madame Fourneau (Palmer) runs a small reform school for young women. She leaves discipline to the mean girls while she dotes on her sickly teenage son. Everything’s under control, so who keeps killing the students who try to run away?
See, this is what watching midnight movies is all about. Sit through enough trash and you get rewarded with a forgotten gem you never would (or could) have sought out otherwise*. The House That Screamed is an atmospheric, well-scripted (if badly-dubbed) exploitationer, bloody and sexy. It’s even presented in its correct aspect ratio. Of all the films covered here, this is the one I’d most like to see get a proper DVD release. Elvira lays on a ton of real-estate related jokes (‘cause the movie’s got the word House in the title, get it?) to distract from the uncharacteristic quality on display, and gives Breather some airtime once again.
8 out of 10
Overall: 7 out of 10
*Surely you, dear reader, can relate.