DELLAMORTE’S BOX OFFICE WRAP – 10/12/07

Does saying that make me racist? I doubt it, considering his oeuvre plays to an almost exclusively black audience. Well, then, let me qualify that statement. Some black people – though not necessarily a majority or representative of the whole – love Tyler Perry enough to get his films to a $21.5 million dollar opening and have turned Perry into one of the most consistent BO performers. Even if Roger Ebert, who is known to be supportive of black filmmakers and race-centric films (almost to the point of fault) wrote of Perry that his films suck. Then again, Ebert’s an old white dude. As the Box Office analyst, I’m gonna stick my head in the sand and avoid this conversation like the plague, because I am a modern white man, and don’t want to get in the middle, of – you know – the two hundred plus years of awkward relationships between white and black people in America. Though I will that FUBU has a point and purpose, and I get the appeal of something that says “yes, this is for us, by us.” But as a straight white male, I also feel like all emotions are universal, and so quality always triumphs. For me. But I don’t often feel oppressed or of a minority, except in certain neighborhoods of LA. But I know a couple Armenian girls who think I’m cute, so I have that going for me.

Michael Clayton claimed its semi-victory of being the second biggest opener of the new films, but that meant coming in third on the list. Yes, George Clooney could not manage to top The Rock and The Game Plan in its third week of release. George Clooney is not a movie star in the sense that he can open a picture. Not like, for instance, Will Smith. But that’s also because Clooney rarely chooses outta-the-box entertainments, unless it’s the Oceans films. If he cared, it might be wise to do something like that in the future, though I think he would run far far away from something like The Game Plan. Even if I might pay to see that. But the wide release of Clayton is not what anyone was hoping for, and no one thought it would claim a hundred grand lead over We Own the Night.

Speaking of, Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg do command a certain amount of respect and attention, which may explain why this fall release of meager exploitation (Sony didn’t put a lot of effort into this one) could get to eleven (and save your Spinal Tap jokes). That’s doubly plus good.

Basically, the queen is dead, boy. And we can go for a walk where it’s quiet and dry and talk about precious things. But the queen is dead, boy, and it’s so lonely on a limb. Dead at the BO, dead at the Oscars (unless the actress field is really weak, but Blanchett may have the supporting Oscar sown up) outside of costuming, and dead in terms of the director ever working again. Yep, I’m calling it: Shekhar Kapur is back in director jail, and there will be no parole.

The Kingdom seems to be performing slightly better than The Heartbreak Kid, in that The Kingdom was always a hard sell. SNAP. And unless there’s some hail mary pass, it looks like Across the Universe will outperform In the Valley of Elah.