Despite
Sylvester Stallone’s surprisingly successful Rocky Balboa, it’s still
a little too early to say he’s on a comeback. And part of problem, at least for
me, is the Millennium Films-funded, almost buzz-less John Rambo, which just
seems like a creaky throwback when placed next to the big-budget action
extravaganzas and smaller-scale insane action movies of today. You say you
have a mush-mouthed war vet running around jungles firing arrows and bullets
into people? Whoopty-doo. Call me when he’s firing two guns in slo-mo at 50
anonymous goons while doing backflips, eating produce, and spitting out
one-liners.
Apparently
somebody got that memo, because there’s a new “trailer” up, but it’s really
just a quick voiceover intro and then, ooooh, a lot of ultra-violent kills. Hell, I was checking for
missing limbs afterward. A little viscera goes a long way on a slow Monday, but
I have to wonder if this is worth the risk in making it. It wasn’t that long
ago when the infamous Aliens vs. Predator 2 clip of the
same nature made its way across the Internets to a decidedly mixed reaction. It’s
one thing to be pleasantly surprised at hardcore gore being plentiful in a
B-movie once assumed to be a snoozer. It’s an altogether worse thing to then
realize that you’ve just seen pretty much everything special about said B-movie
and won’t bother whenever it hits theaters months from now. Is this indicative
of a future where movies are just given away to bloodthirsty and Web-savvy peeps watching
obscure footage like this instead of spoiling it for everyone in
exposition-heavy mainstream trailers? Let’s hope not (To be fair, the first trailer had a good bit of mayhem in it, too). I only ask that they keep the glorious grindhouse-style ending here for all official efforts.
If you’re ready to see lots of Asians spontaneously transform
into cadavers, you can click here to
watch the carnage for yourself.