For computer
geeks my age, the entrée to 3-D PC gaming generally came through one of two
properties: Castle Wolfenstein 3-D or Doom. When you’re a young teen and
the hardest choice you have to make in any given night is whether to kill Nazis
or monsters, life is pretty good, right? These two simplistic, but
revolutionary shooters gave birth to the dreaded first-person shooter genre
(along with such shameful quips as “pwned!!!!”), which rose to the top of the
gaming industry in short order and still reigns with titles like the Halo
franchise.
Unfortunately,
it’s also fooled some into thinking that these games are natural properties to
adapt to action filmmaking. I mean, action films don’t care about story and
characterization, and neither do the games. Perfect match, right? No. Bad action films don’t care about story
and characterization. But why let that stop you when there’s money to be made?
There
have been rumblings of a Wolfenstein movie for years now, most
recently with the 2001 resurrection of the series for modern consoles. But perhaps
because the brand still doesn’t rank with the giants of the genre, little to no
movement’s been made. Until now, that is. Video game-loving producer Samuel
Hadida (Silent Hill, Resident Evil: Extinction) just
snapped up the rights after Mark Gordon (Voltron) wasn’t able to get the film
going over at Sony. Hadida just attached Roger Avary to script the adventures
of B.J. Blazkowicz (sigh) and his Nazi-killing ways. Is there even a chance of
this being close to anything resembling good?