KIRK ROCKWELL

With Comic Con now less than three weeks away… (sorry, my liver just failed for a second), speculation as to what and who will be revealed at the big Hall H panels is beginning to get way the fuck out of control. And I like it. The only thing better than breaking a legitimate scoop is floating ten thoroughly tenuous ones. Hillary Swank’s in Iron Man? Don’t have an ounce of reliable info to suggest that’s grounded in anything but bullshit, but, fuck it, I’ll run it anyway! Peter Jackson has cast Dakota Fanning as the lead dead girl in The Lovely Bones and will attend his first Comic Con to announce it? Shit, I just made that one up, but anything’s possible! Sam Rockwell wants to play Captain Kirk? Haven’t heard that one, but if he cracks jokes about it on camera, why, by Grabthar’s Hammer, it’s gotta be true!

For a while now, the Treksters have been lobbying for Matt Damon. And, via a series of vague confirmations and denials, he has kind of become the default frontrunner. He’d certainly be fine by me. But given Damon’s expressed relief at halting the Bourne series after three entries, I’m doubtful that he’d make another three-picture commitment – especially to a franchise that’s typecast every actor who’s come into contact with it. Is he a more likely choice than Sam Rockwell? Sure. But let’s pretend Sam’s in the running anyway just to give ourselves some choice Don Piano-ing to run in the middle of summer.