DVD REVIEW: BREAKING WIND (UNRATED)

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MSRP $26.98
RATED Unrated
STUDIO Lionsgate
RUNNING TIME 82 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES

• Commentary with Writer/Director and Cast
• Behind the Scenes with Interviews
• The Heartwarming Embrace of Edward & Jacob
• TRAILER GALLERY!!!!!!!

The Pitch

Bella, Edward, and Jacob have to fight to save Bella from the Noobs. All the while, they have to deal with a constant barrage of dick, fart, pop culture, and Gary Coleman jokes.

The Humans

Heather Ann Davis, Eric Callero, Frank Pacheco, and Danny Trejo

The Nutshell

“Hey, let’s make fun of Twilight! Wait, someone already did it? Crap. Well, we’re already here, let’s go ahead and do it anyways.”

The Lowdown

There is an old literary saying that I’m sure the readership of this site is familiar with: “Never judge a direct to DVD title by its cover.” But the movie is called Breaking Wind. I firmly believed that I knew the contents of the film therein. I wanted to pre-write this Lowdown and be able to move on to watching a good movie. But, no, the requirements of this job demand that I take this film as seriously as Citizen Kane. I couldn’t just go in with any preconceived notions.

This is a real screenshot from this movie.

But, you know, it was exactly as bad as I thought it was.

Within the first two minutes of the movie, we’ve got one F-bomb, one fart joke, a joke about butts, and a Mike Tyson joke. And that’s including the company titles. Why would I even try and give this film a fair shake?

There isn’t a single good idea here. Not one. I thought there might be a good joke once where everyone is hissing at a gay porno magazine, but they didn’t even exercise the comedic rule of three. Parodying Twilight isn’t even a good or original idea because it’s already been done to the exact same specifications. There isn’t a single reason to let this movie exist on this planet.

This is a real joke in the movie. Really.

According to the Behind the Scenes doc, writer/director Craig Moss watched The Twilight Saga: Eclipse nine times. He then put “jokes” in it because, according to him, it’s easier than writing an original screenplay. I’m not making this up, this is literally in the Behind the Scenes documentary. That shows the care that Moss and company put into making this film as quality as possible. So, to discuss the plotting of this movie is largely pointless. To discuss the nuance of this film is largely pointless. As Troy from Community says, there was a time for subtlety and that time was before Scary Movie.

Once upon a time, parody was a fine art form. Go back and watch the early ZAZ films and look at the variety of jokes that they throw at the screen. There is a veritable cornucopia of jokes that, for the most part, work and work well. Airplane is an absolute classic, everyone. When you dare to have jokes overwhelm a plot, you better make sure that the jokes are so well thought out and so varied, at least every other one lands.

Then, at some point, some people equated humor with farts and dicks and people paid out the butt for it (again, Scary Movie). That’s when the parody died. It’s really sad, too. It’s not like Twilight isn’t rife for being made fun of. It’s so obvious and it’s now been done TWICE. THERE ARE TWO MOVIE PARODIES OF TWILIGHT. But, when the heights of your wit include at least three Gary Coleman jokes, to what audience are you pandering to except for, I don’t know, people that thought Diff’rent Strokes ruled?

It’s great that they got the writers of the movie to cameo.

To be fair, the film sets out to do exactly what it sets out to do, which is to tell the world’s cheapest jokes. My fourth grade self would be rolling on the floor laughing at all of the sex jokes. But, if you’re not familiar with the Twilight tropes, there’s not an entrance point to laugh at these people. It’s a product designed for Twilight fans, made all the more apparent by the post-film tag of this:

This is literally in the film. Why do I even bother justifying any of this?

It’s not for people like us. It’s not funny, it’s not interesting, it’s not good in the slightest. Get away from it as fast as you can and PRAY that there’s not a Part II.
The Package
The biggest special feature the audio commentary, featuring the main three actors along with Breaking Wind auteur Craig Moss. They praise the humor and the actors and the props and the making of the movie and everything. Isn’t it amazing that the lead actress did some of her own stunts? Isn’t it awesome that they got one of the real actor doubles from Twilight? Aren’t all of the farts funny every time?

Additionally, we have a 20 minute Behind the Scenes that delves into director/writer Craig Moss’s “process” of creating the movie, if you’re dying to know the craft and hard work that went into this. The actors blow Moss quite appropriately, then praise his humor for some strange reason. And there’s 20 minutes of this.

There’s also The Heartwarming Embrace of Edward and Jacob, featuring the multiple takes of the hilarious guy on guy kiss between the two characters. They’re not laughing, as well, so it’s just…them kissing. Which is the joke, apparently.

Rounding out the package are trailers for Disaster Movie, Scary Movie 3, and Van Wilder. I literally had to double check the back of the package to make sure that, yes, this movie was indeed released in 2012.

(siiiiigh) Yup. This is a joke.

 Rating:

Out of a Possible 5 Stars