Their is nothing more delightful than coming to work on a Wednesday or Friday with a slight hangover. Drinking during the week was previously shunned as ‘drunk’ or ‘lush’ behavior, but since we have regressed to a hedonistic society over the past decade or so…keep the 2 for 1 specials flowing! A hangover at work allows the user to feel irritable, disinterested, tired, and generally unpleasant. Also, if you stayed out long enough the night before, you can catch a few Z’s while pretending to focus on a static login screen. These are the winning combinations to conquer any work day! It helps ease the pain of having your soul slowly sucked away in a pointless job.
Now some may complain they cannot enjoy this luxury at their place of work. Maybe you don’t work in an office environment. My advice to you, head to your nearest Ross, Marshalls, or T.J. Maxx and have a field day looking for an irregular dress shirt, slacks, and tie. Then look for the nearest office where cubicles are considered a way of life, and check ‘no’ to being a convicted felon on every job application to be found (you didn’t know she was underage anyways). Office life guarantees a paycheck that allows shopping at Target instead of Wal-mart, and fancy titles that are way too long and really mean nothing like:
Title: Eligibility Coordinator & Technical Research Processing Associate Advocate
Translation: Disconnect services and answer calls for pissed off customers who haven’t paid their bill.
Back to the real topic though, the rise of the weekly alcoholic holiday. You have to admire the fact that people despise work, school, and responsibility so much that they came up with occasions to party throughout the week. “Get sloshed on a Tuesday? Sure, I’m two days into the work week, I deserve a break!” Thus, the idea for Taco Tuesdays was born. The male dress shirt hasn’t been safe from taco grease, mixed drinks, or desperate women ever since. TIDE might get some of those stains out, but desperation is like a grass stain. It might fade on the first wash, but everyone still knows you played on the ground. Granted, they don’t know what you did on the ground…but those tacos will!
Thirsty Thursdays is actually my favorite holiday since the following day is a Friday. Who really does work on a Friday anyways? That’s the perfect day to be inebriated in the office and not feel guilty about it. I’d safely say you could probably shoulder surf any fellow co-worker of your choice on a Friday and find various IE windows with non-related work material (YAHOO!, CHUD, FOOT FANCY, EROTIC COW WEEKLY, etc). Actually, it doesn’t have to be a Friday for that to be a true statement, but that is beyond the point. Thirsty Thursday is usually home to $1 beer night, and 2 for 1 well drink specials. Either special is a recipe for disaster, but a fun story you will not allow a friend to live down is usually right around the corner, “Yes, I agree she could dance, but that doesn’t change the fact she looked like a victim from ‘Hostel’.
Epilogue: In the end he was able to look past her ‘Hostel’ eye, and they raised a family with 2 ‘Semi-Hostel’ looking kids in a house with a white picket fence. Their anniversary is this Thirsty Thursday. Tacos will be served.