Just kidding.

I don’t miss him one bit. Fine, I liked the first Austin Powers movie (even though In Like Flint* is far superior). I really liked the first Wayne’s World film. Even the sequel was halfway decent.

Then something happened. He just phoned it in. He uses the only stupid voice he knows and keeps at it. Racial stereotypes are no problem for Mr. Myers. And then The Love Guru came out. So bad that when I went to an advanced screening of it, there was nobody there. They actually canceled the screening. An advanced screening that I was willing to go through, be tortured and watch a horrendous film. It wouldn’t be the first time**. But I was going to do it for all of you.

But something stood in the way. Common sense? Maybe. And better yet, maybe the world is finally realizing that Dana Carvey was the slightly more talented one.


So of course Myers jumps back on his slow going, easy for the mongoloids of the world to digest bandwagon and has signed on for a third unnecessary sequel to Austin Powers. He’s already signed on for two more ‘will be depressingly bad’ Shrek films. And a sequel to 54 has also been announced***.

I’m just in shock to see such a promising comedic actor at one time take his career to the point of hitting all cylinders and taking the easiest way out and making trite sequels and even worse original fare that recycles the same shit he’s been churning out anyway.

Now I’ll sit back, eat some lunch and wonder when he’ll resort to getting on his knees to beg Lorne Michaels to let him use the character of Dieter. Just call the film Sprockets to the Moon. It’ll make a fortune. Hell, it’d have to do better than The Love Guru.

*James Coburn owns. Plain and simple.

** Two words: Skeleton Key

*** And if you believed that, do I have a sight for you!