My membership fees in the black race are way past due, and honestly, I’m thinking about telling them to fuck off and canceling. What am I getting for my money these days? An eloquent, yet vacuous robo-candidate for President. A signature genre of music that’s been taking over by prison and street culture. Not one, but two embarrassing cable networks that make Univision look like A&E. It’s not worth it, y’all. And if I was ever on the fence, a well-timed announcement of a Wayans Brothers’ film just might be the push I need to pack it all in. Oh, look…
Marlon Wayans has conned Rogue Pictures out of perfectly good money to make a film adaptation of his putrid comic book from last year, Super Bad James Dynomite (oh, the genius!). I shouldn’t have to tell you what it’s about given the title, but it’s a spoof on blaxploitation characters starring a guy with Marlon Wayans’ face. But see what makes this different is that he went away to prison for awhile, and so he’s still got 70s affectations in the modern world! A clueless, outrageous throwback character in today’s time? Truly original. As you might expect, most of the comic’s humor is juvenile toilet-caliber stuff not unlike their stabs at the Scary Movie films (particularly the absolutely unwatchable part 2).
The Wayans clan has pretty much earned every ounce of hate they get having squandered their status as the most bankable black writers/directors around on the worst sort of tripe imaginable. It’s doubly offensive because their inaugural efforts – including the did-it-before-this-monstrosity-did I’m Gonna Git You Sucka and the earliest episodes of In Living Color – were genuinely funny and showed a potential that these guys shat upon with the rest of their output. With their box office track record, they could get pretty much anything made, and yet they continually turn out films so aggressively lowbrow and horrible that you could easily mistake them for parodies on the state of black filmmaking. 30 Rock’s Tracy Jordan character could star in any of these and the poster would get a laugh on that show. God’s trying to tell you something, fellas.