The B Action Movie Thread

[Russell Faraday]

I've got a strong, abiding love for OPEN RANGE. The last great modern Western? I've heard SERAPHIM FALLS isn't all that. Does JESSE JAMES count?

Looking at Seagal's future beyond KILL SWITCH lies RUSLAN, revolving around

"An ex-Russian mobster who is now a crime novelist must confront his past when his family is targeted by violence."

There's a post on the IMDB board questioning Seagal as a Russian, but the bigger thing for me is Seagal as a novelist! Does this mean we'll get a montage where Seagal, wearing glasses of course, hammers away at a typewriter while the camera whirls around him?

Besides, he's been a Russian before.

[wadew1]

Originally Posted by Banandar

Divoff as Ganz crazier brother was a blast. I love how he doesn't really speak his lines. He just screams them in a high pitched way like when he sees Nolte on the staircase and just absolutely loses his shit. I actually couldn't stop laughing at that bit.

By the end of the movie, 'Cherry' Ganz is completely insane and starts yelling "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHUhhhhhh" every time he fires his gun.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Tombstone is notable because the part where Kurt Russell yells "You tell 'em I'M COMIN, ya hear?? And hell's comin with me!", his voice cracks like a teenager.

[Moltisanti]

Spent the morning watching David Bradley in HARD JUSTICE (AKA: The movie with the guy dancing in the background of the cover):



It’s the story of ATF agent Nick Adams (Bradley). He blames himself for the death of a woman that was caught in the line of fire during a bust gone violently bad. After spending some time contemplating life while riding his motorcycle he is offered a new assignment. To pull a DEATH WARRANT by going undercover in a prison where another ATF agent had previously been sent undercover and ended up dead.

Bradley goes so deep undercover that not even the warden knows he’s with the ATF. A warden who lucky for anyone watching this film is played by Charles Napier. Napier shines as Warden Pike. A man who before dedicating his life to running a correctional institute had spent most of the 70's in a tiger cage as a POW of the Vietcong. As a warden, Napier runs a tight ship. Though I was surprised that his staff of guards all just wear black t-shirts. I’m not sure if this was a comment on lack of funding for prisons or if the film’s budget didn’t allow for at least a half-dozen fake uniforms.

Bradley goes through all the normal prison obstacles seen in these sort of films. He ends up with a cellmate who first wants to screw him, then wants to kill him, but eventually becomes Bradley’s pal. Bradley also befriends a convict named Galaxy 500, played by COMMANDO’S Vernon Wells, who knows all the dirty secrets going on in the prison.

As Bradley gets closer to the truth about corruption in the prison, he also comes to learn that Warden Pike is corrupt himself. But before he can take down Pike he engages in many fights with his fellow inmates. He becomes the target of an Asian gang on the inside who constantly threaten his life and ruin his meals by saying things like “Enjoy your last supper, fuckboy!”

Bradley is adequate here but someone like Jeff Wincott would have been more fun to watch in a film like this. Luckily Bradley is supported by a large array of colorful characters who lend the film a bit more charm than it probably deserves. Napier has a grand time playing a total bastard and rules every scene he’s in.

HARD JUSTICE is a solid 90’s DTV effort. It includes a few shootouts that heavily crib from John Woo, not quite as good as Woo was cribbed in ARMY OF ONE, but what the film’s budget lacked in correctional officer uniforms it made up for in characters constantly firing two guns at the same time. Bradley also gets the honor of firing two guns while rolling around on the ground in slow-motion. Even Charles Napier joins in on the double-gun fun by going buck wild with twin uzis. So very enchanting!

[Russell Faraday]

Is that dancing guy explained at any point? He's gotta be there for a reason surely.

But that cover does make me laugh every time I look at it, the guy's going for proper 'maniac dancing'.

[wadew1]

That reminds me of Harrison Ford's slo motion stumbling and wobbling in CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Originally Posted by wadew1

That reminds me of Harrison Ford's slo motion stumbling and wobbling in CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER.

Dan! DAN!

[Moltisanti]

After watching the film I believe that guy is David Bradley, or at least Bradley's stuntman. There's a moment in the opening bust-gone-bad where David Bradley is standing on top of a car which is in a row near a bunch of other cars. The film's main bad guy rolls a box full of grenades (which are on fire!) under the cars and Bradley has to run across the roof of the cars while they all explode around him. When he finally gets back on solid ground he sort of flails his arms about awkwardly. Presto! It's put on the cover.

[Russell Faraday]

A box full of grenades on fire? Delightfully over the top!

To whoever decided to put stumbling Bradley on the cover: well done that man. We need more stuff like that, to be honest.

[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by Russell Faraday

I've got a strong, abiding love for OPEN RANGE. The last great modern Western? I've heard SERAPHIM FALLS isn't all that. Does JESSE JAMES count?

SERAPHIM FALLS is pretty fun. A cool revenge-chase western. (For about 15 min. towards the beginning, it even almost turns into FIRST BLOOD---who knew P. Brosnan could pull off rugged or badass--As Bond, always thought he came off a bit of a ponce)

***And yeah, JESSE JAMES counts. Great film

[Crazy Jim]

Only thing I remember from HARD JUSTICE was a scene with Charles Napier brandishing two machine guns screaming, "This is my prison! I will have order!".

[Moltisanti]

Oh yeah, I wish I could capture that image of Napier and share it with everyone. That was where the flick went from being routine to something a little bit more than routine.

Instead of showing Charles Napier from HARD JUSTICE, how about we all pay tribute to the time he played a space-hippie on Star Trek:

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

For me, my favorite Napier roles were Murdoch in "First Blood Part II", Duke Phillips on "The Critic", and that cop who gets nightsticked by Hannibal in "Silence of the Lambs".

P.S. IMDB says that Napier also was with Sonny Landham in BILLY LONE BEAR! I really want to see that movie, it also has Brion James and Frank Stallone.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Got my copy of Seagalogy in the mail today, so I'm going to be delving into that a bit later. Really looking forward to reading it.

Also got Luis Llosa's Anaconda in the mail too. Haven't seen this flick in it's entirety since I first saw it in the theater in '97. Now that I'm seeing it again, Jon Voight seems to be channeling Tony Montana.

Open Range is friggin' excellence. Probably one my most favorite westerns.

Charles Napier firing two uzis? Hard Justice is on my list solely so I can see that. After Molt's mentioning of Death Warrant, have the desire to get my dvd out and see Burke vs. The Sandman.

Napier was great on The Critic. There's a show that was waaaaay ahead of it's time. I have the dvd set. It's hilarious when he gets an affliction in one episode, and it's only affecting him, thus it's referred to as Duke Philllps syndrome.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

The greatest Napier moment and The Critic moment is when he's singing to the cat and he breaks down and cries.

Pretty kitty calico,
you know that I love you so,
with your fur so soft and fair
I WOULD TAKE YOU *breaks down* any... where

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

I still remember watching The Critic as a kid, and even then getting most of the jokes (never did get the Manhattan references until I saw it two years ago).

I loved the sign for Duke Phillips Broadcasting that says at the bottom "Formerly Duke Phillips House Of Chicken And Waffles."

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Some of the best Critic moments youtube has to offer:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aHQsEGIxJh4&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yPBTE0wlZF4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=W42IY_SgCY4&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=usegltieVAY&feature=related

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Hee-Haw: The Next Generation has always been one of my favorite moments on the show.

Apocalypse Wow I had forgotten about. Man, that was damn hilarious. The voice acting on the show was always great. The little cameo by "Dennis Hopper" was tops. "He's a God man!"

Here's some more of my favorite moments from the show.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IH1PJTY9AVA

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vpb2rlmqjsA

Another one that I can't find on youtube has William Shatner singing, and Picard using a tambourine. loved that one too.

[Moltisanti]

Here's a clip of Charles Napier I love. It's from the most recent season of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Napier doesn't take too kindly to Larry David's reaction to the news of his daughter-in-law's miscarriage, even though the woman already has 9 kids:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=duABs-LaeaY

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Classic Larry David. I really need to get the new season.

There's the episode from season 5 I believe with the Larry David sandwich where Ed O'Ross appears. I almost didn't even recognize him.

[Matt E.]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

Just got off the horn with Sonny Landham. I was worried that his Senate campaign would mean he'd have less time to take calls from a regular Joe like myself. Nope. Sonny doesn't roll like that. He's in touch with the common man and even though I only spoke to him for a few minutes it felt as though I was speaking to a trusted and cherished friend.

Nice to hear Sonny is doing good. Did he remember you from last year? Did you offer to be on his staff if he gets elected? Did he ask you to be on his staff? You'll be an insider in the B Action world!

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

Instead of showing Charles Napier from HARD JUSTICE, how about we all pay tribute to the time he played a space-hippie on STAR TREK

And yet he hates hippies so much in CHERRY, HARRY & RAQUEL. Such a versatile actor! He also hates wearing clothes in CH&R, and I hate that about him. Anybody seen SUPERVIXENS? That's supposed to be his finest hour with Russ Meyer.

That HARD JUSTICE cover looks like something meyers87 would come up with.

[wadew1]

Yeah O'Ross played a bloated deli owner with an accent who names a delicious herring and lox sandwich after Larry David.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

"That's a terrible sandwich." "Capers?" Whole episode is great.

Napier's small role in Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was great too. I'll have to check out Supervixens.

[Russell Faraday]

I guess the news of CONAN THE DESTROYER star and one time Bond squeeze and Lundgren girl Grace Jones releasing a new album was ignored/swept under the B Action carpet.

In any event...

Pop sorceress, iconic diva and multimedia fashionista Grace Jones returns this year to release her first studio album in over two decades, entitled 'Hurricane', on October 27th, 2008 in the UK.

A multimedia fashionista! Wow, I have no idea what that means.

PIAS, parent company of Wall Of Sound, will also distribute the album worldwide excluding North America.

You poor people are being denied!

Grace this week, on signing to Wall Of Sound and the new record; simply said 'Grrrrrrr'.

She's apparently playing some concerts but... I can't. Too much to ask.



'Grrrrrrrr'.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Pop sorceress. From that crazed look on her face that she always has, I believe that statement. She made it with Dolph, Christopher Walken AND an aged Roger Moore. She's got these gents under her spell.

And her words from Conan The Destroyer: "When you want a man, you take him!"

[Moltisanti]

Originally Posted by Matt E.

Nice to hear Sonny is doing good. Did he remember you from last year? Did you offer to be on his staff if he gets elected? Did he ask you to be on his staff? You'll be an insider in the B Action world!

I didn't ask him if I remembered my call from last year. I was worried that if he realized I called him on the 4th last year he might be creeped out. Though now that I think about it, who the hell am I to think that I could possibly creep out Sonny Landham?

Originally Posted by Rene (Mr.Eko)

Classic Larry David. I really need to get the new season.

Staring tomorrow Best Buy is gonna have all the Curb seasons, including the most recent, for $17. I think you've said in the past that you aren't too close to a Best Buy but maybe you can find some other store to price-match.

Besides Napier showing up, season 6 also had Tia Carrera in a few episodes as Richard Lewis' girlfriend. In addition, Taylor Negron from THE LAST BOY SCOUT appeared as the owner of a trendy restaurant who takes a keen interest in what Larry does with his leftovers.

Larry David has good taste when it comes to casting.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

I didn't ask him if I remembered my call from last year. I was worried that if he realized I called him on the 4th last year he might be creeped out. Though now that I think about it, who the hell am I to think that I could possibly creep out Sonny Landham?



Staring tomorrow Best Buy is gonna have all the Curb seasons, including the most recent, for $17. I think you've said in the past that you aren't too close to a Best Buy but maybe you can find some other store to price-match.

Besides Napier showing up, season 6 also had Tia Carrera in a few episodes as Richard Lewis' girlfriend. In addition, Taylor Negron from THE LAST BOY SCOUT appeared as the owner of a trendy restaurant who takes a keen interest in what Larry does with his leftovers.

Larry David has good taste when it comes to casting.

They just recently opened up a Circuit City nearby, so I'm going to take the best buy add tomorrow and pick myself up the 6th season of Curb. Thanks for the heads up Molt!

Agree on Larry David having good taste when it comes to casting. Can't wait to see who he casts in episodes when the 7th season comes out in a year or so.

I just popped in the 5th season (Larry David Sandwich is the first episode), and I'm watching the episode with Larry and Frank Whaley eating outside the Jack In The Box in Whaley's car. Hilarious when Jeff ends up in the car too.

Just started reading Seagalogy, and I love the bit where Vern starts talking about the troll bartender that Molt mentioned. "CIA Bartender".

[Russell Faraday]

That bartender really was something else.

I'm up to BELLY OF THE BEAST in Seagalogy and it's either that chapter or OUT FOR A KILL where I had to put the book down a couple of times because I was laughing so much. Vern's really firing on all cylinders when it gets to the DTV Era.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

I was hoping that the funny would be amped up during the DTV section of the book. Glad to hear it's really funny. I was really close to just starting off there, but I decided to do the right thing and start at the beginning. The paragraph focusing on the bartender has got to be a hint of the laughter that I'm going to be in for later on in the book.

[Moltisanti]

I gotta give Vern a ton of credit for going so in depth into the DTV era. There's only 3 movies from that time that I would watch more than once, plus I guess I'd watch the last 15 minutes of INTO THE SUN again, so for him to watch those as much as needed to write those chapters is amazing. I wish he had taken pictures of the board he wrote about where he jotted down all his notes for the book.

Originally Posted by Rene (Mr.Eko)

I just popped in the 5th season (Larry David Sandwich is the first episode), and I'm watching the episode with Larry and Frank Whaley eating outside the Jack In The Box in Whaley's car. Hilarious when Jeff ends up in the car too.

That one with Whaley was great.

[felix]

What are those 3 movies, Molt? Let me guess, URBAN JUSTICE, PISTOL WHIPPED and MERCENARY FOR JUSTICE.

Am I close?

P.S- Just ordered Seagalogy, I'll be getting it in 2-3 weeks. Can't wait!

[Banandar]

Originally Posted by felix natalya

THE KNOWING looks to be Nick's UNBREAKABLE. The twist ending probably will be that Cage is a delusional psycho who dreamt up the entire story so that he could be a "hero".

He's got the same haircut in NEXT (which I am watching right now).

Well if there's one thing you can count on nowadays it's that the amount of Nicholas Cage's hair is directly proportional to the degree to which his movie will blow dogs for quarters.

The more hair he has, the further down the shithole the movie will go.

I'd just like to say that Rush Hour 3 is the first movie I've ever deliberately not finished. Can someone explain to me why I'm supposed to laugh when Tucker jokes about shooting Chan's "exgirlfriend" in the neck and paralyzing her? Or why there's supposed to be a punchline about Tucker having wrongly imprisoned a bunch of Iranians for a week because "just because they had degrees and were respectable citizens doesn't mean they weren't gonna blow shit up"? I don't mind political incorrectness. But I do mind lame delivery and sincerely retarded dialogue. There were just too many stupid ethnic stereotype jokes after another all wrapped in that cloying Chris Tucker screaming gusto for me to even consider continue watching. Fuck that movie.

Credit to Hiroyuki Sanada though. That guy exudes class, charm, and intensity all at once. Hopefully he continues to have a modestly successful Hollywood career.

Money Train is on HBO in demand by the way. Worth a watch if just to see Jennifer Lopez when she had charm and charisma, and Robert Blake was as creey in real life as he was onscreen.

[felix]

Rush Hour 3 was a complete waste of my time. I only watched it because I had nothing better to do and I wanted to complete the Trilogy.

Chris Tucker is almost unrecognisable here. Putting over 20 pounds into his cheek and tummy. At least, Philip Baker Hall returned as Tucker's Captain in a nice touch of continuity.

Have you watched Chan's The Forbidden Kingdom, Banandar?

[Russell Faraday]

Does that Cage Hair theory only apply to his recent movies? Because if not you're saying CON AIR is shit and that will lead to blows between us, my friend.

I can't believe Tucker got $20m for RUSH HOUR 3, I can't even believe that movie got made. It was at least 3 years too late. Guess New Line were desperate for a hit at that point. Didn't work out.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

20 million dollar paycheck for a movie such as Rush Hour 3. Such a disgrace! Imagine the better uses that money could be put to. I'm disappointed in Max Von Sydow too, but maybe his old age made him deranged and that is why he accepted the role.

[Moltisanti]

Originally Posted by felix natalya

What are those 3 movies, Molt? Let me guess, URBAN JUSTICE, PISTOL WHIPPED and MERCENARY FOR JUSTICE.

Am I close?

You're close. URBAN, MERCENARY, and BELLY OF THE BEAST are the 3 I enjoy. PISTOL WHIPPED certainly wasn't as terrible as say BLACK DAWN or ATTACK FORCE, but I don't think I'd ever feel the need to see it again.

Our talk of ABOVE THE LAW'S CIA bartender convinced to rewatch that scene where Seagal starts fucking up his bar. It was nice to see, as Vern mentions in the book, Michael Rooker having a drink and acting like an asshole ("I thought this was a kosher bar. No pigs allowed."). The line of dialog from the bartender that I love is when Seagal grabs him and he says "Don't do me ugly!" Christ, that's a great line.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Doesn't he also say HEY WHOA SOMEONE STOP THIS GUY HE'S CRAZY!!! Very believable!

[Russell Faraday]

ABOVE THE LAW was a really great debut for the main man. My notes are a page or two back, I did some mighty rambling.

But I gotta toss this out when it comes to Seagal and bar fight quotes:

"Gino, you fuckin mook!"

I know my love for OUT FOR JUSTICE is drilled into the ground at this point but I can't venture out there with it! Not beyond the safe confines of this thread, they'd eat me alive.

[Banandar]

Originally Posted by Banandar

Well if there's one thing you can count on nowadays it's that the amount of Nicholas Cage's hair is directly proportional to the degree to which his movie will blow dogs for quarters.

Originally Posted by Russell Faraday

Does that Cage Hair theory only apply to his recent movies? Because if not you're saying CON AIR is shit and that will lead to blows between us, my friend.

Like I said.

I dug Con-Air as well and had that movie in mind before making that claim.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Another great Gino quote:

"Dis your girlfriend? MIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGG!"

[Paul McCartney]

I saw a bit on CON AIR last night. It has one of the funniest scene in history:

when Nicolas' diabetic black friend notices that the cons are stepping on his precious insulin. The close-ups of their feet callously crushing his insulin bottles is funny enough, but in case we didn't realise it was insulin, it then cuts to the guy yelling "HEY MAN GET OFF MY INSULIN!!!!" Unbelievable.

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

Originally Posted by Paul McCartney

I saw a bit on CON AIR last night. It has one of the funniest scene in history:

when Nicolas' diabetic black friend notices that the cons are stepping on his precious insulin. The close-ups of their feet callously crushing his insulin bottles is funny enough, but in case we didn't realise it was insulin, it then cuts to the guy yelling "HEY MAN GET OFF MY INSULIN!!!!" Unbelievable.

You've seen the end right? Where they're on the Las Vegas strip and Cyrus the Virus gets teleported to an junkyard?

[Russell Faraday]

Don't forget the scene where his black friend is gunned down and Cage cries out and we're supposed to feel our heartstrings being tugged despite the fact that his black friend is, y'know, a criminal.

Now I'm not saying all criminals should be shot dead but in my book if you do the crime then you accept the risk of being on a prisoner transport plane that gets taken over by the worst of the worst.

And what a roll call it is!

BILLY BEDLAM
DIAMOND DOG
CYRUS THE VIRUS
JOHNNY 23
GARLAND GREENE "THE MARIETTA MANGLER" ("Well, he's ooooonnn the raaaaaht flaaaaaaht")

[Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION!]

don't forget

SWAMP THING
SALLY-CAN'T-DANCE

[EdHocken]

Con Air is the only movie I can think of which features a sandal wearing peacenick U.S. Marshall. That and DEA getting into a pissing contest with them. Sometimes interagency arguments are just funny. Oh and don't forget the quick 2-sentence bios on some of the criminals.

[Russell Faraday]

Well in that case we can't forget

PINBALL

I think that's all of them.

[EdHocken]

I'm not going to bother looking them up. But it amazes me that I did in fact see Con Air in the theater. Shit, I was in middle school at the time.

[Russell Faraday]

It's chock full of great quotes as well

"This is a situation that needs to get UNFUCKED RIGHT NOW!!"

"The second a DEA agent was moidered"

"Oh Stewardess, what's the in-flight movie?"

"They'd call me Johnny 600 if they knew the truth" and Cyrus' subsequent verdict on rapists

Bunny, box, etc

It's been mentioned in here before, but Bedlam's "Poe. AWWWW YEAAAHHHH" in the belly of the plane is just delightful.

[EdHocken]

Wasn't there also the song Cyrus made to piss off the DEA? "The Agent who lost his bladder on the air-plane!"

[Russell Faraday]

Indeed! That was during the conversation where Cyrus says of Colm Meaney "I DON'T LIKE HIM"

I haven't seen it for a while but I still remember the name Uncle Bob's Scenic Tours.

"He's off saving the rainforest or recycling his sandals or some shit!"

That might not be word for word.

Really great, fun movie.