The B Action Movie Thread

[Jonathan Banks is my hero]

Will Ferrell thanks life partner Dolph Lundgren.

[Timo]

The Hollywood Saloon podcast recently did a show about the greatest car chases of all time. Their website has youtube links to all the scenes discussed. I think the only surprise for me was Short Time, a movie I've never even heard of. It's chase scene however is excellent.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Ordered Stone Cold from DDD a few minutes ago, sadly it's out of stock, so hopefully they'll be restocked soon, and I can get the flick and see The Boz kick ass on dvd!

I also saw John Carpenter's Vampires, and aside from seeing noted stuntman/actor Tommy Rosales, I saw another familiar face, that I didn't know. That man is Henry Kingi Also seen in such films as both Predator films, as the guy who jumps in the truck that Arnold blows up with a satchel charge, and El Scorpio in the second one. Chalk up another name to a familiar face.

[Moltisanti]

He's not really a guy who has jumped out at me before, but looking at his credits he's had a pretty amazing run doing stunts on tons of flicks. It would appear he's due for some recognition.

I checked out that list of car chases from Hollywood Saloon and overall it's good, but not mentioning THE HIDDEN at all is gross oversight.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

On the commentary for Predator 2 the writers said that he did the stunt driving for Danny Glover at the beginning of the film when he blocks off the gangsters with his bulletproof window car.

Apparently he was controlling the car from the back seat while Danny Glover was really hanging halfway out the side. Great stuff.

[wydren]

Originally Posted by Timo

The Hollywood Saloon podcast recently did a show about the greatest car chases of all time. Their website has youtube links to all the scenes discussed. I think the only surprise for me was Short Time, a movie I've never even heard of. It's chase scene however is excellent.

I've seen that. Dabney Coleman is a cop who has a terminal illness and finds out that his life insurance only pays off if he dies in the line of duty. It's been many years since I've seen that, but I remember it being more of a comedy than an action film. However, it's got Xander Berkeley and Joey Pants in it, so maybe it's worth another viewing.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Short Time is more of a comedy. I have it on vhs. It's incredible the lengths that Dabney Coleman goes through to try to kill himself. Matt Frewer is his partner. The car chase from what I remember was pretty cool.

[Luca S.]

Okay what is this shit about a certain Lexi Alexander helming Punisher 2 Beaks mentioned in his latest column?

[Moltisanti]

That's the name that has been thrown around the most the past few weeks but there still hasn't been an official announcement. I don't have an opinion of her because I've never seen GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS. I'm not really buying into anything regarding a PUNISHER sequel until it's actually filming.

[Moltisanti]

Originally Posted by Jonathan Banks is my hero

Will Ferrell thanks life partner Dolph Lundgren.

I wasn't able to check this out earlier in the day but I have now and it's fantastic. The Ferrell stuff alone is gold but this has to be the first time since God knows when that Paul Reubens has been in full Pee-Wee mode.

[Jonathan Banks is my hero]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

I wasn't able to check this out earlier in the day but I have now and it's fantastic. The Ferrell stuff alone is gold but this has to be the first time since God knows when that Paul Reubens has been in full Pee-Wee mode.

I know! It's hilarious with Ferrell. It's goddamn transcendent with Pee Wee. I realize this is not the place to say this, but I wish Reubens could go forward with the Pee Wee projects he's always talking about.

[Moltisanti]

I'm with you there. I was lucky enough to avoid BIG TOP PEE-WEE as a kid so all that's in my mind of the character is BIG ADVENTURE and "Pee-Wee's Playhouse." I'd like to see a Pee-Wee/Cowboy Curtis buddy flick.

Speaking of Cowboy Curtis, I'm guessing Laurence Fishburne and Paul Walker's BOBBY Z flick is in permanent limbo. I see that IMDB has a DVD release for it in August in the UK which I'm assuming means that when it is released in the states it will be DTV.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Don't like Big Top Pee-Wee Molt? I've always thought it's a decent flick, then again, I haven't seen it in years. Big Adventure I actually saw after seeing Big Top.

I saw the new quote on the main page, and I'd like to think that's due to all the Nighthawks talk that we've been doing on this thread.

Anyone actually get a copy of Stone Cold instead of ordering it?

[NightShadow]

Nighthawks?

Spinell?

Sly?

Billy Dee?

[Chris Wood]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

That's the name that has been thrown around the most the past few weeks but there still hasn't been an official announcement. I don't have an opinion of her because I've never seen GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS. I'm not really buying into anything regarding a PUNISHER sequel until it's actually filming.

Green Street Hooligans is actually pretty good, with some nasty street fights. I'm also extremely suspicious of any Punisher 2 announcements though, especially since even Jane has lost interest.

Did I see you say Laurence Fishburne played Cowboy Curtis??? Does not compute.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Originally Posted by Chris Wood

Did I see you say Laurence Fishburne played Cowboy Curtis??? Does not compute.

[NightShadow]

Originally Posted by Mr.Eko

Kinda looks like Tito Jackson.

[Moltisanti]

Between Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis and Phil Hartman as Captain Carl that show had some serious talent.

I remember there were 2 different guys who played the King of Cartoons. One of them was William Marshall, better known as Blacula.

I'm watching STONE COLD right now but it's at the part where the gang goes to visit Tool in the hospital after his face is fucked up by the grenade. I don't really like looking at that so instead of skipping it I just popped on here real quick instead. Okay, that scene is done now.

[Chris Wood]

I didn't know you had a squeamish side. Or perhaps that scene just has really bad acting.

[Drew S.]

I figured this place (easily the best thread on the interweb) would have the best shot at answering this quesiton:

In Segal's early 90's opus Out For Justice, we are treated to the timeless tale of a cop who plays by his own rules looking for Justice against those who murdered his partner.

However, there are many elements at work here that set it apart from the typical CWPBHORLFJATWMHP film, not the least of which is the dog.

However, there are so many unanswered questions about that dog. Why did that guy throw it out the window of his car? How did the dog know to piss on the guy who threw him out of the window at the end of the film?

I have to be honest, the first time I saw it I was sure the dog was going to get shot. Then it dissapeared for the rest of the movie until showing up to piss on the guy who threw it out a window.

I've read some scholars who claim that the dog is an allegory for God. Still others claim it represents Segal's humanity (which is ironic, because it's a dog and not a person).

I think it may be all of these things, and indeed I still hope to get a sequel where Segal is kidnapped by the ghost of William Forsythe and the dog must rescue him. They'd have to recast the dog though, because it's probably dead now.

[Moltisanti]

I don't know, something about that scene in the hospital bugs me. Pretty much the only bum moment in the flick.

While it's sad that they fucked up pretty much every aspect of this DVD release, from the lack of any extras to the lame description on the back of the case to not even correctly identifying which side is full screen and which is widescreen there is one thing they could not fuck up. The movie itself. It's still a pure frenzy of mayhem.

Henriksen has so many choice lines. But the one that sticks out for me after this most recent viewing would have to be "I will peel your skin off with a knife dipped in shit."

[Moltisanti]

Originally Posted by Cow Puncher

I have to be honest, the first time I saw it I was sure the dog was going to get shot. Then it dissapeared for the rest of the movie until showing up to piss on the guy who threw it out a window.

Actually there is the scene a bit after Seagal rescues the dog where he takes it to that little market to buy food. "None of this stuff is from Jersey, right? I don't want no radioactive stuff, ya know what I'm saying?"

[Chris Wood]

I guess it's been longer than I thought since I've seen Out for Justice. I don't even remember the dog. I mainly just remember the pool hall, butcher shop, and head in microwave scenes.

[kain424]

There's actually a few scenes with the dog in them. Mostly, the dog is just sitting in the passenger seat.

Old school Seagal was actually pretty cool, though I didn't mind Mercenary For Justice (bad name though).

[Drew S.]

Originally Posted by kain424

There's actually a few scenes with the dog in them. Mostly, the dog is just sitting in the passenger seat.

Yes, there is that, although Segal says to the dog something to the effect of "I almost forgot about you."

I guess he was breaking the fourth wall and echoing the audience there or something.

I think it's a far more metaphysical movie than most people give it credit for being. Only in some weird world where rules have no meaning can a low level mob enforcer played by the not-remotely-Itallian-looking William Forsythe take out innocent people and a large number of his own mob family, without incident.

[kain424]

...Yeah, that was cool. Anyone else notice that he killed Leguizamo?

[Fazer]

so in the newest issue of EW with the new batsuit that has nerds undies in a bundle, there was a small news bite that made me do a double take. Allow me to transcribe.

OBSESSIVE FAN OF THE WEEK!

It's impossible to imagine anyone being a more qualified fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger's than Randy Jennings from Sacramento. Not only does he possess a "collection of Arnold merchandise valued at over $20,000", not only has he "met Arnold over 20 times," not only has he seen all of his films since Conan the Barbarian, but he also runs the fansite TheArnoldFans.com Hmmm...wonder if he voted for the Governator

After reading the first sentence, I immediately thought EW did a mini-writeup on our own Moltisanti. Until it continued to chronicle his obsession with Arnold. Now I imagine you substitute Chris for Randy and Dolph for Arnold, and you would have Moltisanti.

[Moltisanti]

Yeah, that would be about right. Though I reckon my Dolph collection is worth in the neighborhood of $500. Wait a sec, I've seen his VHS workout video go for $20 on Ebay so I'll say it's $520.

I should put together an inventory of the Dolph items I posess. For insurance purposes and I bet you'd all get a nice laugh out of it.

[JudgeSmails]

We aren't laughing at you Moltisanti, we're laughing with you. Remember, we're like the AA of B Action Movies. "Hi, my name is JudgeSmails and I have an unhealthy love for Mark Dacascos."

[Jonathan Banks is my hero]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

Yeah, that would be about right. Though I reckon my Dolph collection is worth in the neighborhood of $500. Wait a sec, I've seen his VHS workout video go for $20 on Ebay so I'll say it's $520.

I should put together an inventory of the Dolph items I posess. For insurance purposes and I bet you'd all get a nice laugh out of it.

When you say "collection," what exactly do you mean? Do you mean all the various DVD and VHS movies, or do you mean Rocky vs. Drago Table Hockey and Blackjack limited edition playing cards?

[Moltisanti]

DVDs, a lot of tack-marked one-sheets, a couple of Drago figures, a necklace of ears, etc. Basic stuff like that.

I almost bought a dress from Grace Jones that she claimed had a Lundgren semen-stain but after a few tests it was determined to be Grace Jones' semen.

[Jonathan Banks is my hero]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

DVDs, a lot of tack-marked one-sheets, a couple of Drago figures, a necklace of ears, etc. Basic stuff like that.

I almost bought a dress from Grace Jones that she claimed had a Lundgren semen-stain but after a few tests it was determined to be Grace Jones' semen.

I can't pos rep you for that at the moment (not like it would amount to much *sigh*), but just know that I would.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

I posted a rep. Did you use a black light and all that jazz on the dress Molt?

[Moltisanti]

A black light, a hazmat suit, and a crucifix made of garlic cloves.

[Jonathan Banks is my hero]

I keep thinking of the blood test in THE THING.

[Moltisanti]

Yeah, it all ended with Keith David and I too weak to figure out who touched the dress last.

[Fazer]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

Yeah, it all ended with Keith David and I too weak to figure out who touched the dress last.

PUT ON THE DAMN GLASSES

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Molt and Keith David trying to figure out who touched the Lundgren spooged dress last. Hilarious.

[NightShadow]

Call in Bill Peterson for good measure.

[kain424]

About Randy Jennings, I thought that I was a big Arnold fan until I started watching his videos. Never thought I'd squirm at Arnoldism like I did watching him and his Arnie collection.

Does a good Arnold impression though.

...And I subscribe to his videos on YouTube... not sure what that says about me.

[Moltisanti]

I got that Entertainment Weekly that Fazer mentioned. The cover deals with "The 25 Greatest Action Movies of All Time." Here's their list:

1. DIE HARD
2. ALIENS
3. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK
4. THE ROAD WARRIOR
5. THE MATRIX
6. SEVEN SAMURAI
7. GLADIATOR
8. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
9. HARD BOILED
10. T2: JUDGEMENT DAY
11. SPEED
12. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
13. THE WILD BUNCH
14. ROBOCOP
15. ENTER THE DRAGON
16. CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON
17. THE BOURNE SUPREMACY
18. THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD (1938)
19. GOLDFINGER
20. KILL BILL VOL. 1
21. SPIDER-MAN 2
22. PREDATOR
23. DRUNKEN MASTER 2
24. LETHAL WEAPON
25. THE INCREDIBLES

The magazine says that a list going from 26-50 is on their website but I'll be damned if I can find it. I won't pick it apart piece by piece but a few random thoughts:

-They got #1 right.

-No Stallone, that's a bit of a surprise. You'd think either FIRST BLOOD or RAMBO would have made the cut just because it's such an iconic character for a particular time. Same could be said for DIRTY HARRY.

-SAVING PRIVATE RYAN is a poor choice. Who watches that in the frame of mind of it being an action film?

-BOURNE SUPREMACY = Bullshit. One decent car chase does not make a great action film.

-THE INCREDIBLES. Give me a break. It's a fine animated film but let's not go nuts.

-The lack of COMMANDO is insulting. Maybe they figure they had 2 Arnold films and that was enough. They figured wrong.

-A lot of sci-fi action on the list which leads me to believe that STARSHIP TROOPERS should have a slot.

[Ravi]

I got that EW issue as well. While I like half of their choices (like the top 5) some of the other choices feel out of place. Empire Strikes Back is a great film with some good action but it's really a sci-fi/fantasy film and doesn't belong on the list.

I also agree they should have put Commando or First Blood on there.

[Moltisanti]

I can go either way on EMPIRE. It doesn't really fit my definition of an action film, though there are some very impressive set pieces. I know a list like this is gonna be more general just because of the magazine that put it together so I can somewhat look past EMPIRE and SPIDER-MAN 2. THE INCREDIBLES is going too far though.

I'll say that I haven't seen GOLDFINGER in a long time but at this point I'd probably go with CASINO ROYALE as the best Bond action film.

[Luca S.]

Where's The Rock? Face/Off?

I call shenanigans!

[Chris Wood]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

-SAVING PRIVATE RYAN is a poor choice. Who watches that in the frame of mind of it being an action film?

(Sweats nervously)

-BOURNE SUPREMACY = Bullshit. One decent car chase does not make a great action film.

Agreed.

-THE INCREDIBLES. Give me a break. It's a fine animated film but let's not go nuts.

Well... why not? It does have some great action scenes, and clearly the list has no prejudice against special effects. There are plenty of animated films like Appleseed that would give it a close race though.

The hell with Crouching Tiger. Where's Jackie Chan?

And yeah, Goldfinger isn't really the greatest Bond action-wise. Probably have to go with something like Golden Eye, Living Daylights or For Your Eyes Only.

[Moltisanti]

Originally Posted by Chris Wood

(Sweats nervously)
The hell with Crouching Tiger. Where's Jackie Chan?

He's at #23.

THE INCREDIBLES is a nice comedic adventure with a lot of likable characters. Just because the animation is well done doesn't mean it belongs on a list of the greatest action films of all time.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

No Total Recall, no Tango and Cash, especially no Commando = no sale for me.

[Chris Wood]

Originally Posted by Moltisanti

He's at #23.

Oops. Reading is fundamental, as they say. I guess I missed that one because it has more of a Bruce Lee sound to it.

THE INCREDIBLES is a nice comedic adventure with a lot of likable characters. Just because the animation is well done doesn't mean it belongs on a list of the greatest action films of all time.

Isn't a great action film made of great action sequences though? The Incredibles has several, especially when those hovercrafts are chasing the lightning quick son. Thrilling stuff.

Of course if we wanted to narrow the genre down to blood and bullets action then a lot of these films would be disqualified, and Commando and First Blood would be sitting pretty in the top 5.

[Moltisanti]

I don't think it's a question of just being blood and bullets action. I don't really have a problem with RAIDERS (though that one has its share of blood and a few bullets, one of those bullets being extremely memorable) and I don't have a real gripe with having a classic like ROBIN HOOD on the list. THE INCREDIBLES just comes off as a lame choice. If we're talking super-hero action then I'd take X2 or either of the first 2 SUPERMAN films instead.

[kain424]

What about A Better Tomorrow? ABT2? Hell, no The Killer? Hard Boiled shoulda been higher. And these are just a few Chow/Woo films...

Speed's an iffy one for me too... not a lot of action, but it's ok.

And as it has been mentioned previous, no Rambo? He IS action! And the most atrocious of all: WHERE THE HELL IS COMMANDO? They have Predator ('bout time someone gives it the props it deserves) but no Commando!?

This is a raw deal... oh, hey... Damn it!