Criterion by the Numbers: A Special Edition list

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61) Monty Python’s Life of Brian - The groundbreaking British comedy troupe’s take on religion, particularly satirizing the human need to hope that there is some higher power out there in the universe. It is the most coherent and focused of the Python’s films and is by far their most controversial, partly because of the song and dance number at the end when the cast is joyfully crucified.

[Anderson]

62) The Passion of Joan of Arc - Carl Dryer knows how to toast French chicks. There is no attention paid to her military achievements, as Carl wants you to build a church to this lady. Taking a few pot shots at Germany, the film serves as a final thumbing of the nose from the victors of World War I. Germany would later respond by raiding the Louvre. Ha ha!

63) Carnival of Souls - The Mormons debut their first Zombie film. Herk Harvey makes the time-honored move from educational films to flighty meditations on life and death. Coppola, Verbinski and Romero have borrowed from the film with great effort, but what about the work as is? It's a cheapie shot using Mormon cultural leftovers to piece together a tale about a soul in distress.

64) The Third Man - Harry Lime is dead. Holly Martens isn't buying it. This American writer believes that he has the means to clear his dead friend's name, as he fights against foreign interests. Tripping through intrigue in fragmented Vienna, the film's nearly half over before we get one of the most iconic images of the 1940s. Apparently, reselling watered-down penicillin is frowned upon in Post-War Europe.

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65) Rushmore - Max Fischer wants to the best at everything. Herman Blume wants to recapture the point where his life had purpose. Struggling against status based expectations, the duo forms an unlikely friendship. The bond is tested by the outside of influence of Olivia Williams' trim. Throw in a couple of British Invasion songs to set the mood and the hi-jinks start. Baseball diamond aquarium.

66) Orphic Trilogy - I used to hate when Criterion did this. Assigning a spine number to a box that houses multiple movies with their own individual numbers. What's the point of tossing away the spine number, when you could add another film to the Collection? Jean Cocteau has a following among Criterion fans. On the other hand, I feel that the Orphic Trilogy is unbalanced. To each their own.

67) The Blood of a Poet - Variety called it six reels of film scrapped off the Editing Room floor. Cocteau ventures into similar areas of body horror and imagination that would be later popularized by such creators as Cronenberg. Yet, Cocteau lacks the planned out finesse of the Canadian horror master. There's a short film included in the supplemental section on the DVD. Apparently, Cocteau was a bit of a gadfly. For realz.

68) Orpheus - Orpheus is a popular poet who keeps getting destroyed by the critics. Fed up with all the bullshit, Orpheus tries to retreat from their scrutiny. Death arrives upon the scene and Orpheus is fascinated by her charm. They make a deal to venture into the Underworld, where Orpheus will meet Eurydice. There's a few conditions to the journey, but Orpheus feels he can work around them.

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69) Testament of Orpheus - Cocteau is finally put on trial by his characters from the other Orpheus movies. The French auteur plays with visuals like there's no tomorrow. Unfortunately, there's also no overall point to the movie. I've learned from watching the two prior chapters something about Cocteau's meditations on art. Aesthetic beauty only exists to compliment the void in which they fill. In a few words, shit happens to every living artist.

70) The Last Temptation of Christ - Scorsese does the Bible better than a bunch of monks. Dafoe offers a human face for the Judeo-Christian Jesus of Nazareth. Offering a measure of humanity that's an inch deeper than Nicholas Ray's depictions, audiences find someone human. Naturally, Jerry Falwell and others blew their lids. Scorsese masterfully plays Peter Gabriel's score off of modern dialogue set against Biblical settings. Harvey Keitel happens to be my favorite cinematic Judas Iscariot.

71) The Magic Flute - Bergman takes on Mozart. Drottningholm Palace is where our action takes place. Borrowing a cue or two from Strindberg, Bergman breaks out his roster of actors to portray Medieval romantic action. The special effects are stage-based, so don't expect anything major. But, it's a wonder to see what Bergman can do onstage. The masterful Bergman has had a storied career working in the theater with actors such as Peter Stormare.

72) Le Million - An early French talkie about a lecher and his slutty girlfriend. There's a lot of broad physical humor played off the fact that the director wasn't comfortable with filming in full audio. Rene Clair tries to please everyone, as he shoe-horns in more romances than one can count. There's also the ill-placed rugby match towards the end of the film. However, Grandpa Tulip is my kind of bastard. I respect elderly thieves.

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73) Cleo from 5 to 7 - Cleo is doomed. The results of a tarot card reading have been weighing on the lady's mind, as she awaits recent medical news. She goes around town and meets with her various hangers-on. Her musical partner hates her guts. The two argue about true talent, while no one really hammers home the fact that Cleo can't read music. It's a rarity to see a film about such a truly self-indulgent whore.

74) Vagabond - Mona is a homeless vagrant who spends her time thumbing it through the European countryside. Various Eurotrash try to get her to put out, but she rejects them. Such outward rejection is kind of odd coming from what amounts to a smelly old bitch. Varda's intentions are lost on me with this outing. I don't know if it's an auteur fading out in the later years or not. Homeless people are pretty odd.

75) Chasing Amy - Lipstick lesbians are the fantasy of a New Jersey comic nerd. Joey Lauren Adams peaks in Kevin Smith's attempt at trying to make his View Askew films a bit serious. Questions about nubians, fingercuffing and Silent Bob's feelings about Showgirls are answered here. Meanwhile, I wonder why we had to wait twelve years for Paris, Texas to come to the Collection. The film is starting to become a little dated, but that's to be expected.

76) Brief Encounter - David Lean shows how limey British cinema can be. Alec and Laura are old friends that could've been more at one point. Dolly is the third wheel that keeps ruining what could be David's last conversation with Laura ever. Noel Coward writes from seems to be the longest melodrama ever written in the English language. Trevor Howard acts his ass off throughout the last half of the movie. Howard's efforts are put to waste by endless voiceovers.

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77) And God Created Woman - Roger Vadim discovers that boobs equal great cinema. Bardot plays an orphan living in St. Tropez. A local businessman wants to bang the holy hell out of Bardot, but she isn't ready. That's when a local youth decides to step up to the plate. Both men bitch about her for awhile, while the teen kid almost gets to boink her. There's no direct threat of a penis stabbing for Bardot's maidenhead. This is the worst peepshow ever.

78) The Bank Dick - W.C. Fields works security at a local bank. He convinces a fellow employee to help him steal cash and invest it in a stock market scam. Millions of American cheer, as they don't have anything else better to do during the Depression. Fields is a bastard at home, where his family hates him. The children are often spotted throwing things at his head. Nevertheless, he continues with his scam until Universal decrees some sort of resolution. Word.

79) W.C. Fields - Six Short Films - I believe this DVD is Out of Print. That probably happened when America realized that this disc contained W.C. Fields fighting children. It's all paper-thin comedy that features some of the most epic abuse of child actors this side of Diff'rent Strokes. The highlight of this release is The Fatal Glass of Beer. It's a parody film featuring W.C. Fields playing the dulcimer while wearing mittens. The rest of the films are the Sennett/Paramount run-off.

80) The Element of Crime - Lars von Triers makes a film that looks like shit. The surprise would be if Lars von Triers made a movie that wasn't shit. Fisher is a man undergoing hypnotherapy to cure his constant headaches. During the treatment, he meets some odd characters who might not be what they seem. Fisher's former mentor Osborne tries to make contact with him, but it's all for nothing. By the end of the film, everything looked like it was dipped in piss.

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81) Variety Lights - Fellini takes a stab at the showbiz movie. A local troupe of performers is spending most of its time hauling their crap up and down the Italian countryside. Lily is a young woman who's eager to prove herself. One day, she forks over the cash to pay for a cart to carry the troupe's equipment. The troupe decides to give her a shot onstage where she thrills the audience. Eventually, she becomes the star attraction and inevitably begins her demise.

82) Hamlet - The second Best Picture winning entry in the Criterion Collection. Laurence Olivier plays with dream imagery, as he tries to capture a version of the Bard's Tale that has remained unseen onscreen. While it's a lesser entry compared to his other Shakespeare films, it still works. Olivier isn't interested in making his stamp, but taking a more abstract approach to the material. This is the classic Prince that has been suffering for centuries. Every shot echoes themes from previous adaptations.

[Anderson]

83) The Harder They Come - Jimmy Cliff rises out of the Ghetto thanks to the powers of Reggae. Cliff's Ivan is a fun loving criminal that just wants the best out of life. Getting some easy trim and slinging pot. The problem is that he just shot a cop. Trying to recreate himself as a modern-day gangster artist, Ivan rises to the top of the nation's consciousness. The film was one of the first truly successful Midnight Movies and helped to popularize Reggae in mainstream America.

84) Good Morning - Ozu gets a pass for having lazier camerawork than Kevin Smith. It must have something to do with being an Asian auteur. This film popularized the Tatami shot, which would later go on to becoming a staple of Japanese cinema. The film plays as a collection of funny vignettes about Japan's place in the world post World War II. The people had become more Westernized and they had started to become swayed by the magic of Television. Plus, the little kid is a treat.

85) Pygmalion - Anthony Asquith discovers George Bernard Shaw. Wendy Hiller plays a slightly more appropriate Eliza Doolittle than Hepburn ever pulled off. There's an extended bathing sequence featuring Miss Hiller that stands as one of the most awkward scenes in British cinema. Leslie Howard works his magic to make you forget that the entire film is a collage of English soundstages. But, no one can really do the material justice. If you're looking for Pre World War II British Cinema, this is a highlight fo' sho'.

86) Eisenstein Box Set - The Sound Years - Take a look what happened here. Criterion assigned a spine number to a film collection. The films later received individual spine numbers, so it's more of a placeholder. If you like Russian cinema, you'll want to check out the next three titles. I can't say that I really recommend this set to potential buyers. There's a lot of great things to watch in it, but the plots themselves aren't that compelling. I know that someone reading this is groaning over my casual dismissal of these films.

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87) Alexander Nevsky - Nevsky defeated the Livonian Order on a frozen lake in the 13th Century. Eisenstein worked against the pressures of the early USSR to produce amazing films. George Lucas sat in a crowded theater decades later cribbing notes. Non-Russians are shown throwing children into bonfires. I laugh. Back to the present, I revisit Nevsky for what seems like the tenth time. There's a ton of special features on the DVD. Hell, you even get to see Eisenstein spending time with Walt Disney. That must've been odd.

88) Ivan the Terrible Parts I-II - The first time I watched the dual Ivan flicks, I was only impressed by the Battle of Kazan. When I rewatched them for this little experiment, I started noticing something about the shot set-ups. The way people were framed and how even the tiniest moments of eating showed something about true personality. There's something incredibly deceiving going on here. Sure, Stalin could've gave a shit about a true biopic. But, this Mosfilm broke out of the bonds of propaganda and became something else. Watch it.

89) Sisters - Brian DePalma makes his bow into the Collection. It's a fun film to watch, as you realize that DePalma started stealing from Hitchcock rather early on. From a personal perspective, this was one of the first Criterions I ever bought. Picked it up at a Hawley-Cook bookseller about a week or so after its initial release. I guess that would put me back in my senior year of High School. Learning about framing devices, horrible FX and the power of Charles Durning. Margot Kidder can actually act.

90) Kwaidan - Kobayashi is one of those Japanese directors that film school students used to toss around. He's fallen out of fashion, as J-Horror has taken over the popular scene. The film stands as an anthology of older Japanese tales which work on the same conceit. Nothing is scarier than withheld information. The strongest example of this is in the film's second chapter "The Woman of the Snow". Hell hath no vengeance like the supernatural chick sneaking up on you. This film is a perfect candidate for a Blu-Ray release, the cinematography is amazing.

[Anderson]

91) The Blob - It leaps. It creeps. It gives Steve McQueen his first major role. Spawned by legendary B-Movie producer Jack Harris and a group of filmmakers at Valley Forge Studios, something unique was born. A sort of indie homegrown schlock that would go on to revolutionize American drive-ins. Sure, Roger Corman and Samuel Z. Arkoff were doing the same thing. But, there's a special kind of American spirit to a bunch of rural Pennsylvania people working on a goofy horror movie. It's kind of odd to see so many smiling faces in a horror movie.

92) Fiend without a Face - A couple of scientists screw around with thought energy. This results in a killer brain that eats other brains. People run and scream. Scientists are elevated to the level of military heroes. This is the first release from the Gordon Brothers to make its way into the Collection. They'll later be revisited with the Monsters and Madmen sub-series. But, that's a few months away. There's something special to be said for this British attempt at creating Z-grade horror. Hell, there's no creatures for the first hour. Stay for the brain "face-hugger" attack.

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Also, I'm willing to go a little out of order. If anyone else has any preferred Criterions they'd like to a BY THE NUMBERS...PM them to me.

[Anderson]

93) Black Narcissus - Five Protestant nuns work their asses off to convert a bunch of heathens in the Himalayas. The Archers and Jack Cundiff work cinema magic to convert the Third World into one of the most lovely visions to grace the Silver Screen. Deborah Kerr offers the performance of a lifetime as Sister Clodagh. Wes Anderson paid a slight homage to the work in "The Darjeeling Limited". Yet, even he couldn't quite capture what the Archers were doing here. Carefully crafting a tale about women working in unison is a rather difficult task for a man.

94) I Know Where I'm Going - Wendy Hiller plays one of the most shallow women in British Cinema. Yet, she's also amazingly independent. Hiller's character tells her family that she intends to get married right away. But, she's chosen one of the richest men in the United Kingdom to marry. The angle is that she expects to get full control of his Chemical company. The rest of the film plays out as the standard romantic comedy with the usual Archer visual touches. Amazing work throughout, yet the screenplay seems to get a little more love than deserved. Not that it matters.

95) All That Heaven Allows - An upper-class widow falls in love with her gardener. The two lovebirds hit it off, but everyone disapproves. The widow's friends think she's slumming it. Hell, her kids just don't want to call the gardener "step-dad". The naturalist gardener does his best to show his new love a better life. But, the widow can't help but be swayed by modern convience. Does station matter in all aspects of one's life? Douglas Sirk made a career out of asking heavy questions, only to take on a soap opera ending to the mix. Watch it.

96) Written on the Wind - The old tenet that rich people only want to fuck each other remains true. Put a gathering of young financially affluent people in the same room and they'll eventually start boning. Some of the young people that want to bone in this flick include Rock Hudson and Robert Stack. Fortunately, Robert Stack didn't take a poop shoot flesh enema from Rock Hudson. We do have Dorothy Malone and Lauren Bacall tarting it up for the fellows. It was also refreshing to see a movie where Lauren Bacall doesn't sounds like she gargled Scarlett Johansson's balls.

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Not kidding about the previous statement. If you'd like to write some of this about specific films...let me know.