Your Worst Ten Films... EVER. [Archive]

Fett11878

12-23-2001, 10:32 PM

1. Armageddon - I FUCKING HATE MICHAEL BAY! Bad Boys was entertaining in a cheesy kinda way, The Rock was pretty good but Armageddon is the lowest of the low. Every second of this movie makes me vomit in terror.

2. Titanic - I used to love James Cameron. Terminator 1/2. Aliens. The Abyss. Even True Lies was cool. But then Titanic erupted. This probably has the funniest death scene ever with Leo. Tragic that this is the highest grossing movie ever.

3. Batman Forever/& Robin - Burton's Batflicks weren't great. But they were pretty good, and they had atmosphere. Episodes 3 and 4 of the Batsaga had all the darkness and gothicness of Burger King. Joel Schumacher took everything about Batman that I loved and raped it.

4. Jaws: The Revenge - I love shark movies. I have much love for Jaws and Jaws 2. Even 3-D has a little bit of room in my heart. But JTR just takes the biscuit. Michael Caine turned down the chance to collect his 1986 oscar because he was filming this crap. And Joseph Sargent, who directed the classic heist flick Taking of Pelham 123 directed this? Christ almighty...

5. Alien: Resurrection - The Alien franchise is another close to my heart. Alien/Aliens rocked. Alien 3 was a cool movie, but for me lacked as an Alien flick. But Resurrection just sucked. Heinously. Fucking awful.

6. Mission:Impossible 2 - John Woo made the Killer. A Better Tomorrow. Hard Boiled. So where the hell did this come from? It's like an overcooked 007 flick with none of the humour, fun or tongue in cheek. The only good bit was the over the top motorcycle chase, which at least had a bit of fun. But man, this sucked.

7. I Know What You Did Last Summer - I really disliked Scream. I also hated it for what it brought to the horror genre. But I didn't hate it half as much as this. Putting it bluntly, there's only two good reasons for suffering through this. And they both belong to Jennifer Love Hewitt.

8. The Waterboy - Adam Sandler was funny for about five minutes. The Wedding Singer was fun. Some of his stuff i saw on SNL was ok. But this movie sucks. And if The Fonz's ass making an appearance wasn't enough, it also has Sandler talking in the stupidest accent ever all the way through the flick. Mindbendingly awful.

9. Star Trek V - The Final Frontier - Even as a one time Trek fan, this is painful to watch. Shatner's decent acting in ST2 is reduced to farce while the movie contains the worst spaceship effects ever committed to film.

10. She's All That - Take one girl in thick glasses and dull clothes, remove said glasses and clothes: woah! She's a beauty queen. Everything about this movie is FUCKING AWFUL. Freddie Prinze Jr SUCKS. Rachel Leigh Cook SUCKS. Usher SUCKS. And she looked better with the nerd glasses.

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I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe...

Don Wiskerando

12-23-2001, 10:39 PM

I can't really think of a bottom ten, per se, but I can think of one movie I genuinely hate:

Screwed (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0156323) - The only movie I've ever walked out of, and I don't regret it for a second. Skull-crushingly bad.

Voodoo Child

12-23-2001, 11:51 PM

The remake of Planet of the Apes. Crap all the way through.

CheeseBiscuits

12-24-2001, 12:26 AM

Normally, I don't hate movies. I try to see every movie for what it is and find something, anything good to bring out of it. But there are those movies, those really poor examples cinema that are so bad they might be used as proof to human kind's demise. They are as follows (though I bet I'm forgetting something):

Mortal Kombat Annihalation- Oh holy Biscuit God, what the hell went wrong here? Did anyone notice the lack of plot? I mean, there is no plot at all. None, not there, never was, never will be.

Baby Geniuses- A bad execution of a really, terrible, horrible, and frighteningly bad idea.

Power Rangers: the Movie- I felt like mentioning this just so I could talk about it. This is one of those cases of "it's so bad it's funny". For those lucky people who haven't seen it, let me give you a breakdown: teenage superheros fight a man made of snot... I wish I was kidding. And snot man is the best part of the whole thing.

Super Mario Brothers- Okay, let's examine the plot of the Super Mario Brothers video game. A plumer runs arcoss floating blocks, stepping on turtles and small turds with fangs, on his quest to save a princess from a giant snapping turtle while given advice by a wise, very short, gay man with a mushroom on his head. Yeah, that sounds like it would translate to film perfectly...

Toys- I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated, hated... where was I... oh yeah... hated, hated, HATED this movie.

The Cell and The Avengers- Two really good examples of times I left the theater screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT CRAP!?"

Final Fantasy- Many people look at movies differently. Some look at them from a photographers point of view, intrested in fancy camera work. I'm more of a writer, so I look for good writing and I'm big on acting. Final Fantasy, while pretty to look at, featured some of the crappiest writting I have ever seen in the history of my life.

Armaggeddon- I so wanted to love this movie. Parts of it were fun in a load, badass kind of way. But it's so mindlessly stupid it breaks all the rules of mindless fun movies. To be a mindless fun movie, you must have lots of cool scenes with little explanation of what's going on, with poor dialog in between cool action scenes to piece everything together. Just let it flow. This flick actually is thinking, "Hmmmmm, how much bullshit can I get away with?" Well, Mr. Bay, you past the limit. You can barely see the limit anymore. The limit is a dot to you.

Street Fighter- Another video game movie. Do you see a pattern here? I sure as hell do.

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I don't sail ships, Zach... I sink them.

derekhd

12-24-2001, 02:11 AM

Freddy Got Fingered : I can't believe someone let that movie get made. They should be flogged.

Joe Dirt : So dumb

The spoof on Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves. I've attempted to block it out of my mind for the past decade so I've forgotten the title.

Eileen

12-24-2001, 02:21 AM

In no particular order

Random Hearts - Awful Awful Awful. All that talent delivered shit!!

Battlefield Earth - I waited for this one to come out on video and just had to see if all the talk about it being awful were true...Yep, sure was

Night of the Living Dead - Put me to sleep

Ordinary People - The first time I ever sat through a movie and counted the tiles on the ceiling

Damien Omen II - After the classic, The Omen, this sequel was lame. (the third one was somewhat better though)

Grease II - Did not expect this one to be as fun as the first, but did expect average...this one could not deliver that!

Xanadu - just a stupid movie

Rhinestone Cowboy - no comment

HonkeyTonk Man - I consider this to be one of Clint's worst

Dirty Dancing - to this day I can't figure out why it was a success

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~Eileen

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

[This message has been edited by Eileen (edited 12-24-2001).]

Jacks Inner Rage

12-24-2001, 03:05 AM

Wait a minute here: Did you just say Night of the Living Dead?
I really hope you mean the Tom Savini remake!
If so then okay your opinion is your opinion but the original is a different story, one of the greatest horror movies ever made! Classic! Ha...yeah... the remake!

Anyway, here's my listof movies i absolutely hated!:

10. Head Over Heels
9. Hudson Hawk
8. Blankman
7. She's All That
6. Bring It On
5. Down To Earth
4. The Brady Bunch
3. Spice World
2. The Very Brady Sequel
1. Sugar & Spice

Now Here's a list of movies is absolutely hated but everyone else seemed to like:

10. Spy Kids
9. Leaving Las Vegas
8. Romeo Must Die
7. Boyz N The Hood
6. Blue Velvet
5. New Jack City
4. Moonstruck
3. Kingpin
2. There's Something About Mary
1. Natural Born Killers

generalzod

12-24-2001, 03:09 AM

Pearl Harbor- An insult not only to intelligent movie fans, but to the soldiers who were there. Stupid, tedious and totally unbelieveable love story. By the time it was time for the Japanese to attack, I was on their side.

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn

Big Momma's House- Take Martin Lawrence and a script thrown out by the "Three's Company" writers-BOOM! You have an unfunny turd.

Superman 3- What the first two build on, this on shits and throws it in your face and expects you to like it. Richard Pryor woefully miscast.

Batman & Robin

Swingers

I Spit On Your Grave-shitty all the way around.

The Big Hit- Why?

The Mummy Returns- Reminds me of a 3y/o brat demanding your attention and will do anything to get it.

Flintstones: The Movie- take a lame cartoon and cast Rosie O'Donnell and you have one of the worst cartoon-to-movie adaptions-ever.

Volcano- This made "When time ran Out" look like a classic. Irwin Allen must have been spinning in his grave.

Men in Black

Baby Geniues

Supernova

Blood Sucking Freaks

Split Second

Deep Star Six

Waxwork 2

Blues Brothers 2000

Another 48Hours

Anything with Richard Gere.

Don Wiskerando

12-24-2001, 03:17 AM

Originally posted by Jacks Inner Rage:
8. Romeo Must Die

You're in the majority.

Jacks Inner Rage

12-24-2001, 03:19 AM

I totally agree with Big Mommas House and The Mummy Returns, but i liked Swingers!

Morrissey

12-24-2001, 04:16 AM

Coppola's Bram Stoker's My Mum's Dracula sucked every ass on the planet. It was horribly hammily acted, I mean wooden as all fuck now, scripted by mongoloids and edited by my very own dick.

Throw in the shite make-up, the terrible score and the fact it's about 45 minutes too long and hey presto! The only movie I have EVER walked out of before the end. I was furious.

Other guilties on my list have all already appeared on this thread, but Dracula is my all time number one Shitfest.

And lay off Swingers! Sweeeeeeeet film!!

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Wyatt, Your Kitchen Is Blue.

Clarence Beaks

12-24-2001, 12:02 PM

10 films that hurt:

1) MIXED NUTS (d. Nora Ephron) -- I can't stand the woman's films in the first place, but here she assembled some top-shelf comedic talent -- Steve Martin, Madeline Kahn, Garry Shandling -- and manages nary a laugh.

2) A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE (d. Jack Sholder) -- A sequel every bit as awful as the next film on this list, and from a director seemingly bent on desecrating his former, truly masterful film. If Craven was thinking franchise, you'd hardly know it from this "effort". Sholder, a fine director in his own right with THE HIDDEN, cashes a paycheck here.

3) THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (d. Wes Craven) -- The dog has a flashback. If the rest of the film were that sidesplitting, sheer hilarity would preclude its being listed here.

4) STEEL MAGNOLIAS (d. Herbert Ross) -- I can handle chick flicks, but not when they're slapped together with this little care, and still go on to rake in the dough. Everything in this film seems calibrated for maximum annoyance.

5) KICKBOXER (d. Mark DiSalle, David Worth, or Satan) -- Not only is it a far cry from BLOODSPORT, but it's also a long way off from DOUBLE IMPACT, DEATH WARRANT and NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER. Impossible to enjoy in any capacity, save for in-.

6) MEGAFORCE (d. Hal Needham) -- When I was a kid, I begged my dad to take me to this. He yelled at me for twenty minutes on the way home, and, having sat through the same film, I fully understood his rage.

7) BOYS AND GIRLS (d. the hack who did SHE'S ALL THAT) -- In the interest of full disclosure, I only made it through forty-five minutes of this disaster, whereas I sat through all of.....

8) DOWN TO YOU (d. Kris Isaacson) -- Evil made celluloid.

9) WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 2 (d. I don't care) -- Seriously, Clarence..... if you didn't like the first one, what were you doing in the theater for the sequel?

10) ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD (d. again, don't remember, doesn't matter) -- Even the final-reel appearance of Carny Lansford couldn't salvage this, the absolute worst baseball film ever made.

Clarence Beaks

12-24-2001, 12:04 PM

11) ERNEST DOUBLE POSTS (d. Clarence Beaks) -- Oops.

[This message has been edited by Clarence Beaks (edited 12-24-2001).]

LlamaRama

12-24-2001, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Fett11878:
6. Mission:Impossible 2 - John Woo made the Killer. A Better Tomorrow. Hard Boiled. So where the hell did this come from? It's like an overcooked 007 flick with none of the humour, fun or tongue in cheek. The only good bit was the over the top motorcycle chase, which at least had a bit of fun. But man, this sucked.

The first time I saw this movie, I thought it was stupid, but fun. Then I saw it a second time, and I realized I was wrong. It wasn't fun, just really, really stupid.

[This message has been edited by LlamaRama (edited 12-24-2001).]

Nick Hexum

12-24-2001, 08:17 PM

1.) Mortal Kombat: Anul-anation: Absolute crap
2.) Soldier: Turned it off midway through
3.) Battlefield Earth: Sucktacular
4.) The Game: Did not like this one at all, probably because I saw Fight Club first
5.) Night at the Roxbery: after 20 minutes my friends and i just talked to each oter for the rest of the time
6.) My Favorite Martian: saw this on my birthday(almost asked for a refund
7.) The Quest: Worst JCVD movie
8.) Little Nicky: Gave me a migraine
9.) Batman and Robin: What the hell... and i actually liked Forever
10.) Lord of the Rings

Nick Hexum

12-24-2001, 08:19 PM

just kidding about that last one...

Eli Cross

12-25-2001, 12:44 AM

If the titles listed are of a recent vintage, I believe it’s to be chalked up to the human brain intentionally erasing hideous memories & experiences.

In no particular odor:

Planet Of The Apes (The Re-Imagining!): Poo. “Re-Imagining”… sounds like something Doug Henning would have tried. Did it make a lick of sense? No. Did the periodic in-jokes and wink-wink references bring an already sluggish film to a halt? Yep. Bah.

Armageddon: Good Lord…No shot lasted longer than my eye was able to absorb, no character was too wooden, no cliché too hoary to exploit. Michael Bay…I’m coming for you and I want my money back.

A.I. (Sorry, Poxy): Not too horrible…until the deadly ending. Spielberg is in my top ten directors of all time, but, come on…

Titanic: Before the lynch mobs gather, let me say in my defense…uh…I didn’t like it at all. Winslet is lovely, DiCaprio looks like a fifteen-year old and they generated the sexual heat of wax fruit. Villainy? Billy Zane only lacked an orphanage to burn down. Suspense? **SPOILER** The ship sinks! Oops. That’s it? Bah.

Wild Wild West: I loved the show. The movie literally smelled the longer it unspooled.

Batman & Robin: It’s Christmas and I won’t use the language I ought. Eeek.

Director's Tie: Even Cowgirls Get The Blues/Psycho: BIG Tom Robbins fan, so I should have known better. Bigger Hitchcock fan, etc. Gus? Stop it.

I have left many out. I am too weary to go on. Pray that 2002 is a year of exemplary film.

Peace & Merry Christmas!

Ebenezer Cross

rutt13

12-26-2001, 04:04 PM

MilkManX

12-26-2001, 04:12 PM

Dragon:The Bruce Lee Story: This is a travisty and an attrocity. It shouldnt have been allowed to be made. It very loosly follows Bruce Lee's life but it has so many wrong dates and errors....I walked out of this one.

rutt13

12-26-2001, 04:13 PM

sorry, just testing, there...I think it's funny when people name "Big" movies as the worst they've ever seen, cuz I just love the "B's" and soooo much worse can be found on the video shelf...examples:
"Things"---The WORST
"Panther Squad"---Sybil Danning leading mercenaries.
"Asylum of Terror"--Crazy guy killing peeps in Halloween haunted house
"Don't Go in the Woods"--Bad, Bad slasher
"round Trip to Heaven"--Corey Feldman at his worst
"The Item," What the hell was that?
And any recent straight to vid "Scream" wannabe

Now for my most hated "Big" movies:
Couldn't finish: "Zero Effect," "Jaws: The Revenge," "Natural Born Killers."

Stuff I wasted ticket money on:
"Boiling Point" with Wes Snipes is AWFUL
"Superman III," REALLY irritating
"Tomb Raider," Boring crap.
"The Musketeer," I like HK, but what the hell were they thinking??? Actually, it COULD'VE been cool....
"Bram Stoker's Dracula"---zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
"Seven"--I will NEVER, EVER understand why people love this cure for insomnia....
"Screwed," how i felt after the movie...

I've seen some rough ones...

Stew

12-26-2001, 04:39 PM

"The Musketeer"- Peter Hyams manages to make a swashbuckling with no swashbuckling, stupid acting, bad dialogue, and the worst lighting ever used in history. This is laughably bad on every level.

"The Big Hit"- Wretched. Just...wow. Horrible John Woo ripoff with stupid characters and over-the-top acting. Listening to Bokeem Woodbine talk about masturbation was just the last straw.

"Spawn"- Damn. Horrible everything. The Clown was the worst.

"Virtuosity"- Sci-fi at its worst. Even Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington can't make this even halfway enjoyable.

"Captain America"- Painful to see such a potentially cool superhero done so badly.

"Young Guns"- What? This is like a guilty pleasure for most people, but I thought it just sucked horrendously.

"Robocop"- Its cult status baffles me. Verhoeven is the worst, and even the action here is repetitive and weak.

"Octopussy"- The worst Bond film. Why? It culminates in Bond actually dressed as a clown. The producers are still in debt to me after that.

"Outland"- Peter Hyams makes the list again! What the hell is this?

"Frantic"- Cheap feeling mystery in Paris? Even Harrison Ford gets lost in this horrible and boring "thriller".

capteucalyptus

12-26-2001, 04:52 PM

In no particular order:
Ran-A bad retelling of a great Shakespeare play
Seven-I fell asleep
Along Came a Spider
Mr. Nice Guy-Chan's weakest import that I've seen
Mission to Mars-All that cool bui;d up for that ending?
Night of the Creeps
Kingdom of the Spiders
Food of the Gods
Ghoulies
I Come in Peace

amadeus

12-26-2001, 05:23 PM

My top 6:

1. The Convent
2. Batman & Robin
3. Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
4. Village Of The Damned Remake
5. The World Is Not Enough
6. The Patriot

[This message has been edited by Darth Algar (edited 12-26-2001).]

Zeus

12-26-2001, 07:53 PM

Originally posted by capteucalyptus:
In no particular order:
Ran-A bad retelling of a great Shakespeare play

Shame on you.

12-26-2001, 08:58 PM

There's only one film I can think of that made me want to run from my third row seat to the john so I could HURL and that film is PAY IT FORWARD.

There have been craptastic crapstravanganzas in the past but the years have made me forgive most of them. The thing is, anymore I mostly don't go to see movies I know I will hate.

Oh, and I didn't like CON AIR either.

jabbadonut

12-26-2001, 10:06 PM

I second Con Air.

In no particular order as well:

The Sixth Sense
Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn
The Ice Pirates
Out Of Africa
Kramer vs Kramer
Raging Bull
Last Tango in Paris
Congo
Little Nicky
The Waterboy

I am not saying any or all of these are bad movies. They are just movies I hated.

lamotta

12-26-2001, 10:23 PM

Jesus Christ, Jabba, not to mention some of your other selections, but 'Raging Bull' is possibly the greatest piece of film put on ... film.

You get the point. You seem reasonably intelligent. I'm in shock.

jabbadonut

12-26-2001, 10:26 PM

Just didn't like them. Remember, there is no accounting for taste.

lamotta

12-26-2001, 10:26 PM

'Frantic,' 'Robocop,' even 'Octopussy'? Good Lord!

Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.

lamotta

12-26-2001, 10:28 PM

As for mine, it can be summed up into:

Rocky 5
Pretty Woman
Hit Man

But mostly the first two.

Kirby Drummond

12-26-2001, 10:45 PM

The following people are sick in tha head. You do realize the title is "Worst Movies Ever." Either you don't watch a lot of movies or your taste is really in question. There should be a support group you can join or at least a phone number to get help.

Originally posted by Fett11878:
2. Titanic - I used to love James Cameron. Terminator 1/2. Aliens. The Abyss. Even True Lies was cool. But then Titanic erupted. This probably has the funniest death scene ever with Leo. Tragic that this is the highest grossing movie ever.

Ho hum.

Originally posted by Eileen:
Dirty Dancing - to this day I can't figure out why it was a success

How can a girl hate Dirty Dancing? Swayze's sweet buns? Come on now.

Originally posted by Jacks Inner Rage:
6. Bring It On
7. Boyz N The Hood
6. Blue Velvet
5. New Jack City
3. Kingpin
1. Natural Born Killers

You're just insane.

Originally posted by generalzod:
Swingers

Oh zod you unhip cad.

Originally posted by Nick Hexum:
4.) The Game: Did not like this one at all, probably because I saw Fight Club first

Don't get the reason at all.

Originally posted by rutt13:
"Bram Stoker's Dracula"---zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
"Seven"--I will NEVER, EVER understand why

Dracula may be flawed, but the worst movie ever? Come on.

Originally posted by Stew:
"Young Guns"- What? This is like a guilty pleasure for most people, but I thought it just sucked horrendously.

"Robocop"- Its cult status baffles me. Verhoeven is the worst, and even the action here is repetitive and weak.

Not only does Robocop not suck, it's one of the best of its kind. WAKE UP!

Originally posted by capteucalyptus:
Seven-I fell asleep
I Come in Peace

Fell asleep during Seven? O-kay. And I Come in Peace is sick fun.

Originally posted by Darth Algar:
3. Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels

Always fun to see one of your favorites on someone's worst list.

[This message has been edited by Kirby Drummond (edited 12-26-2001).]

raoul duke

12-26-2001, 10:55 PM

I come in Peace... but you leave in pieces.

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Oh God. Did you eat all this acid?

Stew

12-26-2001, 11:21 PM

Well, I hate Paul Verhoeven. His movies are shock value, extreme gore, and not much more. Yes, I know people will say I don't get his "satirical" look at the future and such, but I do. "Robocop" does indeed suck, IMO of course. What is there to it? Its a pseudo-sci-fi flick with a lot of gore. The action is weak, mainly consisting of Robocop walking around with bullets bouncing off him until he gets around to offing every baddie with one shot. Wow.

To Lamotta, who questioned my hate of "Octopussy" and "Frantic" as well, I don't really know what I have to defend. "Octopussy" has the weakest villains, the most convoluted and boring plot, and the single worst moment in Bond history which I mentioned above. "Frantic" wants to be a mystery, then throws in some international intrigue and it doesn't really work.

khitcher

12-26-2001, 11:46 PM

Originally posted by Stew:

"The Big Hit"- Wretched. Just...wow. Horrible John Woo ripoff with stupid characters and over-the-top acting. Listening to Bokeem Woodbine talk about masturbation was just the last straw.

"STRAIGHT JACKIN' SAVES YOU THAT MAD CREAM!"

Bokeem was fricking hilarious in that movie.

"I've been fuckin'...since I was TEN!!!"

Originally posted by Stew:

"Virtuosity"- Sci-fi at its worst. Even Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington can't make this even halfway enjoyable.

I saw this twice in theaters. First Hollywood exposure to Russell Crowe and I just knew this guy would make it big.

"Just because I carry around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn't mean we can't be friends."

amadeus

12-27-2001, 07:19 AM

Drummond, you can think what you like. Lock Stock is terrible, awful, fucked up repugnant shit.

Oh but wait! Its cast have "cool" English accents right? So it must be funny!

Wrong. Lame acting: smug bastard Jason Statham SUCKS ASS, Vinnie Jones is a sad excuse for threatening... Lame cockney speak: pub=nuclear sub, HA fucking HA... Shite soundtrack: Liar Liar, Ghost Town and other atrocities.

If the cast of "Pearl Harbor" spoke cockney, it would still be a piece of shit. Bald cockneys are not funny. When are you Americans going to realise that???

amadeus

12-27-2001, 07:22 AM

Oh I forgot a couple of films for the list.

Human Traffic - a godawful, painful waste of celluloid and my time.

Tout Va Bien, On S'En Va - this is ugly shit.

capteucalyptus

12-27-2001, 09:12 AM

Originally posted by Zeus:
Shame on you.

Sorry Big Z but I just didn't see the point. Chalk it up to cultural bias if you want. But I didn't like it on any level.

Kafka

12-27-2001, 10:26 AM

These aren't the worst movies I've ever seen but most disappointing considering what I expected.

1.) The Matrix (Yeah I'll get flamed but this was SO lame-ass. Hey watch Keanu go through the motions as another stoned character! Watch Laurence say the most idiotic dialogue! Watch everyone love it because it sci-fi and everyone looked so cool with those sunglasses.. don't forget the slow-mo bullet scene! BLAH

2.) Fear and loathing in Las Vegas (I've never done drugs before but maybe I should have to enjoy this complete waste of two hours)

3.) The Patriot (Historical revisionism of the worst kind, blacks were treated nicely in those days and the British were apparently inhuman monsters). Not a fan of Gibson after this

4.) Amistad (Just found it overlong and tedious.)

5.) Schindler's List (ditto.)

6.) Batman & Robin (Tolerated Batman Forever but this one was horrible, who decided Clooney with that smirk would make a good brooding Bruce Wayne? Hell Russ Crowe maybe but not this. O'Donnell & Silverstone are wastes of space).

7.) The Thin Red Line (What was this, three hours of pseudo-intellectial mumbling? This had potential to deal with soldier's personal feeling during war but it became pretentious bullshit).

8.) Saving Private Ryan (Hugely overrated, contributed nothing to the war genre except giving Hanks a chance to pretend he was in WWII and make himself a hero. Idiot).

9.) 12 Monkeys (Sorry didn't get this film at all).

10.) Everything Nicolas Cage has done since winning the Oscar. I guess he wanted his name mainstream, well he got it and all the while being in movies that resemble human waste.

Stew

12-27-2001, 11:04 AM

Well Kafka, I'm probably not the only one who highly disagrees with you.

"The Matrix", despite the massive and hype and ripoffs that have followd, is very good. Its the best sci-fi I've seen this decade at least. The bullet time was cool to people because we hadn't seen it before, which is rare. And yes, everyone did look cool with those sunglasses.

"Saving Private Ryan" is a great film and your criticisms make no sense.

"The Thin Red Line" is an aquired taste I think because I didn't like it the first time either, but on another viewing I appreciated it much more.

I also hated "Fear and Loathing Las Vegas". Two hours of acid effects and Johnny Depp going nuts, the trying to impress us wih some dated 70s diary-writing is not a good movie. And his performance, while a nice impression, shows us nothing about Hunter Thompson the man. Its true mimicry.

"The Patriot" I like. I don't lve it, but there's some nice stuff there. The thing is, people are always taking the one example and applying it to the entire race or culture, just what stereotyping is all about. Jason Isaacs is the only British soldier who is mean and sadistic, but people wanted to aply that to all of them. Yes, most blacks were treated badly. But there are some historically documented occasions where a Southern farmer wouldn't keep slaves but instead hire freemen. Maybe its an excuse, but it can fit historically.

"12 Monkeys" is a brilliant film, one that you shouldn't hate if you didn't understand it. It can make all the difference.

Disciple of Ricky Oh

12-27-2001, 04:28 PM

MISSION TO MARS. Fuck that piece of rotting shit. Brian, Brian , Brian. Atleast he had the balls to so blatently rip off Kubrick.
Dracula Dead and Loving It
Zombie Cop
Ghost in the Shell (I was really looking forward to this one and I thought it just sucked. Incredible animation but too much cheese for me to swallow.)
Shrek

capteucalyptus

12-27-2001, 04:42 PM

Originally posted by Disciple of Ricky Oh:

Shrek

I can understand the rest but out of curiosity why Shrek?

Imperator GAC

12-27-2001, 04:56 PM

Human Traffic I thought had a good feel to it. the ending didn't pay off at all like it should have but I wouldn't call it crap. I can't think of any good twenty-something club hopping movies to compare it to. The only one I see is Body shots, now that's a waste of film.

Seahawk

12-27-2001, 05:07 PM

Originally posted by derekhd:
The spoof on Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves. I've attempted to block it out of my mind for the past decade so I've forgotten the title.

Are you speaking of the Mel Brooks treasure?

If you are, my super kick butt black ninja's have your address and should be arriving soon.

Scary Movie: walked out of that one.

Dracula Dead and Loving it? Leslie Neilson? That is comedy in spades!

But most of the rest, except Robocop and a few others are within reason.

and nobody has mentioned our all time whipping boy:

BATTFIELD EARTH!

Run in fear, the lot of you... http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/smile.gif

------------------
"Please Standby..."

Post Alley, A place to be (http://www.fortunecity.com/tattooine/jabba/8)

Mad_Man_Mundt

12-27-2001, 06:26 PM

I really hated Kenneth Branagha's version of Frankenstein. Never give that man a dolly shot ever again.

Mission To Mars was indeed terrible.

I recently saw Rat Race on an airplane. How terrible was that?

Octopussy isn't nearly as bad as Moonraker.

lamotta

12-27-2001, 06:35 PM

'Frantic' wasn't perfect, but not an atrocity, imho, and I liked it.

My fondness for Octopussy comes from seeing it about a million times when I was a kid and thoroughly enjoying it.

Did I mention I hated 'Pretty Woman?'

I could add 'Titantic' as well as I have much hatred for that overbloated piece of shit. But there's worse movies out there.

DemiUrge

12-28-2001, 09:43 AM

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

I'm not a huge Trekkie anyway, but really, Spock talking to Humpback whales? WTF??

Makes me remember why I'm such a Star Wars Fanboy...

amadeus

12-29-2001, 06:11 PM

THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO.

That movie sucks the fattest part of my ass.

devilf

12-29-2001, 06:27 PM

10) JOE VS THE VOLCANO - Crap. Boring, stupid and poorly made. I just kept wishing he would die.

9) DUNE - Waste of time, talent, energy, celluloid, life.

8) BATMAN AND ROBIN - You know why

7) THE ROCK - Absolute garbage. I've never been able to sit through this mongoloid fest in one sitting.

6) HOOK - The worst kind of 80s yuppie fantasy. Steve's lowest point.

5) DEUCE BIGALOW - The person who made me watch this will rot in hell for it.

4)FINAL FANTASY - Made me want to kill everyone involved. SHIT.

3) HOLLOW MAN - FULL OF PAIN

2) SUPERMAN IV - Mark Pillow or no Mark Pillow, this is like being hit in the nuts with a tire iron

1) ARMAGEDDON - I'm not even sure this qualifies as a movie.

Poxy Von Sinister

12-29-2001, 06:55 PM

In no particular order, for to quantify these would be to give them dignity they do not deserve:

-- JAWS 3-D: Especially the end, where Bess Armstrong and Dennis Quaid are more worried about what happened to the dolphins than the human beings who were with them. Then again, the dolphins were more interesting anyway.

-- SUPERMAN III: Moreso than IV (which no one expected to be any good anyway), this was everything Star Trek IV would have been if Eddie Murphy had been in it like was originally planned.

-- BATMAN AND ROBIN: To this day I have yet to see the final ten minutes of this film, and hopefully I never will.

-- KING SOLOMON'S MINES: The Richard Chamberlain/Sharon Stone version. Not even bad enough to be funny.

-- JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES: Sorry folks, but I'm a huge fan of the book, and it's like Carpenter read it and said, "Hey, I could make a vampire movie!" One of the worst adaptations ever.

-- HOME ALONE: Good merciful Christ I hate this movie. Unfunny and ridiculous, and after the fiftieth time Pesci and Stern get hit on the head, I was wishing someone would do the same to me so I could slip into blissful unconsciousness.

-- STAR TREK V: Uhura. Fan dance. Enough said. And even all the more painful because there was the germ of some good ideas in here.

-- CROCODILE DUNDEE: Oh, I get it, he's not from here! So he's different! Huh? You mean I've got another 80 minutes of this?

-- COOL WORLD: I would lament at how far this shows Bakshi had fallen -- if Bakshi had ever really been high enough to fall.

-- MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION: Very nice of them to describe the film in the title like that.

-- BATTLEFIELD EARTH: Apparently shot entirely in a villain's hideout from the Batman TV series, and with about the same production values.

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Dad, start digging some nerd holes. (http://www.sci-fighter.com/)

[This message has been edited by Poxy Von Sinister (edited 12-29-2001).]

call7001

12-29-2001, 09:01 PM

hehehehehehehehe

No particular order except for number 1

American Beauty- I hate it more every single day
Runaway Bride
Batman and Robin
Twister
Godzilla
American History X
Pretty Woman
The Haunting
Armageddon
The Astronauts Wife

[This message has been edited by call7001 (edited 12-30-2001).]

Deadtony

12-29-2001, 09:16 PM

1. Pearl Harbor- Sweet god this movie sucks.

2. Armageddon- Sucks ass

3. Batman And Robin- What the fuck is this supposed to be anyway?

4. Battelfield Earth- HA

5. and 6. Mortal Kombat I and II- Lets all just kill Paul Anderson that way were safe.

7. The Waterboy- Kill Me

8. Little Nicky- Shit Sandwich

9. Pay It Forward- Give me a break.

10. Final Fantasy, Street Fighter, and Super Mario Brothers. These movies are funny, just weren't meant to be.

Rylander

12-29-2001, 10:33 PM

Mars Attacks
Barcelona
Kids
Diamonds are Forever
The Wedding Planner
Nadja
The Addiction

and another one that I haven't even seen, which I think is called Beautiful. Anything with Minnie Driver and Hallie Eisenberg has to be on this list.

voltes5

12-29-2001, 10:46 PM

I agree with Kirby at MOST of the films being touted as THE WORST films EVER.

I can only think of 1 off the top of my head:

Kids.

I saw that once and wondered why I bothered to watch the whole thing. I think this film was nothing but an exploitative teen pornography covered up as a provocative piece of independent filmmaking. It's crap, through and through.

CheeseBiscuits

12-29-2001, 11:02 PM

I'm bored, so I'm going to list the movies that appear on people's lists the most. These should be considered the absolute worst movies (and if I skip something, tell me).

Here are the ones I see on a LOT of people's lists:

Armageddon
Batman And Robin
Battelfield Earth
Mortal Kombat Annihalation

Here are some others I keep seeing pop up from time to time:

Pearl Harbor
Little Nicky
The Patriot
Mission to Mars
Octopussy
The Musketeer
Baby Geniues
Superman 3
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Screwed

Think what you will, but that's pretty much the facts right there.

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I don't sail ships, Zach... I sink them.

matt

12-29-2001, 11:05 PM

Reading this thread gives me hope for the future and revives my love of man.

voltes5

12-29-2001, 11:20 PM

Originally posted by CheeseBiscuits:
I'm bored, so I'm going to list the movies that appear on people's lists the most. These should be considered the absolute worst movies

<.....>

Think what you will, but that's pretty much the facts right there.

Facts to whom? I'm pretty sure most people looked at other people's lists and decided to choose some or more in their lists of WORST FILMS EVER.

I know that there is no accounting for tastes. There is no right or wrong answers, but the phrase WORST FILMS EVER is a very powerful description. So in that list you've compiled, are those TRULY THE WORST FILMS EVER? Seriously?

And by compiling what people thought were the WORST FILMS, then claiming that it is the definitive WORST FILMS EVER list and should not be argued against compelled me to post this thought of mine.....

CheeseBiscuits

12-29-2001, 11:31 PM

Whoa pal, calm down. No need to get all offensive. I thought that explained itself pretty well, but if you need more of it, I'll be happy to explain it more. Those are movies that I saw over, and over, and over again on people's lists so (using the gift of logic) those are the worst movies.

Now, maybe some people didn't feel like mentioning some movie if someone else already did or maybe we are all forgetting some horrible movie, but I find it odd that those first four movies I mentioned(Armageddon, Batman And Robin, Battelfield Earth, Mortal Kombat Annihalation) keep being said over and over again.

I'm glad to help you understand.

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I don't sail ships, Zach... I sink them.

voltes5

12-29-2001, 11:41 PM

Originally posted by CheeseBiscuits:
Whoa pal, calm down. No need to get all offensive.

I was waiting for an opportunity to get even with your:

Originally posted by CheeseBiscuits:
Does it really matter? Just enjoy the goddamn movie.

comment. Hehe.....

CheeseBiscuits

12-29-2001, 11:49 PM

Wow, my words coming back to haunt me... my evil, hatefilled, sinful, blastfumous, damnable, Godless, jaded, useless, worthless, pointless, stupid, dumb, void of all need or purpose words... I am truly hurt and beaten, beaten like a bag with no purpose other than to be beaten.

The day is yours, sir.
The day is yours.

voltes5

12-29-2001, 11:56 PM

Ah, victory is indeed sweet.

Now, CheeseBiscuits, you are banned from eating the gourmet cheese of the Lords of the Aged Mice, but shall endure the pasty flavor of pasteurized process cheese products for a fortnight. And that is indeed mercy.....

Martianman

12-30-2001, 12:38 AM

In no particular order of hatred:

1. Tougher Than Leather
2. No Holds Barred
3. Jaws 3 & 4
4. Stuart Saves His Family
5. Money Train
6. Flowers In The Attic
7. It's Pat!
8. Scary Movie II
9. Spy Hard/Wrongfully Accused/Mr. Magoo/Any Leslie Neilson slapstick comedy post Naked Gun 3
10. Very Bad Things

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." --Benjamin Franklin

DJ Dylan

12-30-2001, 01:39 AM

Fuck, I would have to put Ali up there. I couldnt stand it.

Ludwig

12-30-2001, 02:59 AM

10. Batman (Tim Burton's - only because they blew the budget on Nicholson and not on making a decent movie...that last scene where the Joker falls off of the church and they fucking use DISNEY ANIMATION to show him falling near the middle of his fall just kills me)
9. Dr. Strange
8. Captain America
7. Hannibal (and yes, I read and LIKED the book)
6. 9 Months
5. The Lair of the White Worm
4. Independence Day
3. Days of Thunder - the only good thing this movie acomplished was to sound the death knell for 80's film-making.
2. Wyatt Earp (Kevin Costner remake)
1. The Island of Dr. Morreau (Val Kilmer remake) - far and away, the most vile movie ever concieved, although the fodder it provided to Season's I and II of South Park was enjoyable.

I have yet to see Armageddon.

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"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."

Django

12-30-2001, 06:30 AM

Dude Mike, you are so wrong.

Morreau is the greatest experimental free-form improvisational art film masquerading as a $80 million dollar event movie ever made. Or the most expensive Troma movie ever.

It is also the funniest performance Kilmer has given since Top Secret. The final scene where he dresses up in gauze and lampoons Brando is worth the $9.99 the DVD costs alone.

I mean so far none of you cats really said anything true evil, although Mortal Kombat: Annihilation comes close what with replacing My God Lambert with James Remar.

For the root of all evil, please see...

- Treasure of the Four Crowns
- Organ
- She Freak
- Seedpeople
- Dollman Versus The Demonic Toys
- Soultaker
- Quest of the Delta Knights
- Carnosaur
- Shag
- The In Crowd (1988)
- My Demon Lover

And how could we forget...

1990's A Man Called Sarge with Marc Singer as a Nazi named Von Kraut...

lamotta

12-30-2001, 10:37 AM

I think Kids is a courageous, awesome film.

Bravest choice I've seen on this thread thus far - American Beauty. I also disdain that film for being a Baby Boomer's wet dream. Overrated. Don't hate it, has some good scenes, performances, and ideas, but overall it doesn't speak to me at all.

American History X? I guess I could see it as Hollywood oversimplifying the neo nazi movement, but overall I found it to be a powerful film with a world class performance by Norton.

jabbadonut

12-30-2001, 11:33 AM

There is one HUGE stinker I haven't seen anyone list: "Red Planet"
When Val Kilmer takes his helmet off, and whoa, I can breathe! I almost shit myself. That was very, very, very close to being the absolute dumbest thing I have ever seen in a movie. Oh, the rest of the film sucked too.

Kirby Drummond

12-30-2001, 12:06 PM

Originally posted by voltes5:
I agree with Kirby at MOST of the films being touted as THE WORST films EVER.

I can only think of 1 off the top of my head:

Kids.

I saw that once and wondered why I bothered to watch the whole thing. I think this film was nothing but an exploitative teen pornography covered up as a provocative piece of independent filmmaking. It's crap, through and through.

Well you go from agreeing with me volt, right to totally disagreeing with me, as Kids is one of my favorite films ever.

Originally posted by lamotta:
I think Kids is a courageous, awesome film.

Exactly.

Originally posted by Ludwig:
3. Days of Thunder - the only good thing this movie acomplished was to sound the death knell for 80's film-making.

Now we fight Mike. Days is awesome.

Deadcash

12-30-2001, 12:46 PM

Dungeons and Dragon -WTF was that!? And I actually bought into the hype.

Double Dragon -Had that dude from party of 5 in it.

Eyes Wide Shut -I walked in there ready to jack my ass off, but throughout the whole thing I couldn't even stiffen up to blow my load.

ok just kidding about that last part, but aside from the shining and full metal jacket, I'm not really into Kubrick.

mastronikolas

12-30-2001, 01:30 PM

- Big momma's House - Shoot Martin Lawrence with a tranqilizer dart now and airlift him to Antarctica. Shoot the director with a grenade launcher.
- Pi - Pretentious, badly shot crap. Story makes no sense and it doesn't work as a mindfuck either.
- MI:2 - A film made with the basic assumption that the moviegoing public consists of retards. The Tom Cruise=Jesus Christ scene is too rich to comment on.
- Species II - Laughably bad effects, no logic, no plot actually, low on boobs.
- Tango & Cash - I cooked up stories like this one when I was 10 yo playing with my G.I. Joes.
- Batman Forever - The only superhero film to make Batman And Robin look better in comparison.
- 8 Heads in A Duffel Bag - The only film I've ever walked out from.
- Hush - Melodrama they would be too embarassed to release back in the 50's.
- Speed 2 - one word: UB40
- Barb Wire: Here's an idea: Let's remake Casablanca with Pam Anderson. She can have a shower scene during the opening credits!

[This message has been edited by mastronikolas (edited 12-30-2001).]

Martianman

12-30-2001, 08:14 PM

Originally posted by mastronikolas:
Tango & Cash - I cooked up stories like this one when I was 10 yo playing with my G.I. Joes.

But that's what made it so brilliant! http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

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"Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."

imported_Adam Warren

12-31-2001, 02:26 AM

In random order of hatred, and based on extreme prejudice:

Unbreakable -- About as exciting as an arial photograph of Saskatchewan. Utterly pointless to boot.

Patch Adams -- Unforgivable dreck. This movie is manipulative Hollywood tripe, unperfumed by thoughtfull production values, and mixed with the reeking shit of a Robin Williams performance. It stinks.

Armageddon -- An exciting feast for the Eyes Wide Shut, but without those nasty production values. Rubbish.

Forrest Gump -- A dumb movie about a stupid man, which sets out to move slow-witted movie-goers to tears.

Out for Justice -- Steven Seagal plays an overwieght marshall arts expert/law-enforcer with connections to old school mobsters, and a knack for languages. Senseless violence ensues, yet a pony-tailed sir Steven finds the time to be sensative with a child/ puppy-dog/ submissive female. Or was that Marked for Death?

Marked for Death -- Just to be sure.

Toys -- Does the enjoyability of a Robin Williams film ever begin?

The Postman -- Considering the source material, Costner should be flayed by muderous dwarves in my Utah salt caverns.

It Could Happen to You -- Retarded. The above Robin Williams comment also applies to Nora Ephron and John Travolta. Should I be talking about Lucky Numbers?

Universal Soldier --A brilliant attempt to make the worst movie ever.

Octapussy rules!

Deadtony

12-31-2001, 02:29 AM

Awww come on, Toys? I love Toys.

Martianman

01-01-2002, 01:24 AM

Originally posted by Adam Warren:
Out for Justice -- Steven Seagal plays an overwieght marshall arts expert/law-enforcer with connections to old school mobsters, and a knack for languages. Senseless violence ensues, yet a pony-tailed sir Steven finds the time to be sensative with a child/ puppy-dog/ submissive female. Or was that Marked for Death?

Marked for Death -- Just to be sure.

Come on dude! Those are my 2 favorite Segal movies! You mean you didn't tear up when Segal finally catches up with the guy that dumped the puppy, and after Segal lays him out, the puppy pees on the guy? Great stuff.

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"Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."

[This message has been edited by Martianman (edited 01-01-2002).]

Boogens

01-01-2002, 07:48 AM

My top ten of the worst flicks ever:

1. THE HOWLING: NEW MOON RISING
It's not like the whole series sucked, but this must be the worst werewolf movie ever.

2. SCARY MOVIE 2
The first was fun, part 2 just dumb.

3. EVIL TOWN
Just one of the many John Carradine flicks that really sucked.

4. THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID ROW SLASHER
Heh, can't go wrong with a title like that.

5. HOBGOBBLINS
Even Munchies was "better" (if that is possible).

6. THE DEMON (1979)
It's "almost" a guilty pleasure, actually, it's a gem of some sorts.

7. CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC
Um, yeah. The village people...enuff said.

8. BAMBOOZLED
Satire? Comedy? Whatever.

9. EPISODE 1
No heart. No soul. Just a CGI disaster.

10. Any flick that Leslie Nielson made without the Zucker brothers.

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They don't call it the curse for nothing

Poxy Von Sinister

01-01-2002, 10:46 AM

Originally posted by Boogens:
10. Any flick that Leslie Nielson made without the Zucker brothers.
That would include The Poseidon Adventure, which doesn't belong on anybody's worst list.

------------------
Dad, start digging some nerd holes. (http://www.sci-fighter.com/)

Fett11878

01-01-2002, 11:08 AM

Plus Forbidden Planet.

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I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe...

Boogens

01-01-2002, 05:07 PM

Alrighty then:

10. Any COMEDY flick that Leslie Nielson made without the Zucker brothers.

How's that?

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They don't call it the curse for nothing

Bud the C.H.U.D

01-01-2002, 07:19 PM

Originally posted by Poxy Von Sinister:
Originally posted by Boogens:
10. Any flick that Leslie Nielson made without the Zucker brothers.
That would include The Poseidon Adventure, which doesn't belong on anybody's worst list.

Well I don't know about that. Shelly Winters' character in that movie gives Jar Jar Binks a run for his money in the Most Annoying Supporting Character Ever award.

Poxy Von Sinister

01-01-2002, 07:24 PM

Yeah, but she had the good sense to die in the film. http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/smile.gif

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Portarmi le vostri carni e formaggi più fini! (http://www.sci-fighter.com/)

VerbalKint

01-01-2002, 07:39 PM

Originally posted by Adam Warren:

Forrest Gump -- A dumb movie about a stupid man, which sets out to move slow-witted movie-goers to tears.

I resent that. I'm slow-witted because this movie made me cry?

Such inane, senseless babble you spew.

------------------
"What are you doing?"
"I'm quietly judging you"

imported_Adam Warren

01-01-2002, 07:43 PM

I wrote that with you in mind verbal.

VerbalKint

01-01-2002, 07:46 PM

Well, i'm glad I'm influencing someone.

------------------
"What are you doing?"
"I'm quietly judging you"

SpiritOfVengence

01-01-2002, 08:39 PM

here we go in no perticular odrer cause .. I hates what i hates

Last dance- wife made me see it movie made me puke

Cast Away- nothing but promotional jibberish

StarWars Episode 1- guess Lucus needed a new flanel

The Matrix- just cant get into Keanue being an Action hero

Speed 1& 2- "I have to save the bus"

Santa Clause the movie - Dudley Moore , need i say more

Dungens & Dragons- one step back for fantisy movies

Anything Jim Carey ( pre Majestic)

Children Shouldnt Play With Dead Things- i have seen better acting in an elementry school play

Higher Learning- i think my I.Q dropped durring this one

The Boy Who Could Fly- i would rather have a frontal labotimy

VerbalKint

01-01-2002, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by SpiritOfVengence:

Cast Away- nothing but promotional jibberish

Must....hold....back....

Must....keep...Nick's wishes.....in....mind...

------------------
"What are you doing?"
"I'm quietly judging you"

CheeseBiscuits

01-01-2002, 09:36 PM

Originally posted by SpiritOfVengence:

Dungens & Dragons- one step back for fantisy movies

Must... hold back....

Yando

01-01-2002, 11:59 PM

Pretty much anything directed by Jonathan Lynn (from clue, trial and error and the whole nine yards) makes me crindge. But the fact still remains that I've still watched all of them and at least gained an appreciation of what films shouldn't do to be nicely constructed.

Deadtony

01-02-2002, 12:01 AM

Originally posted by Yando:
Pretty much anything directed by Jonathan Lynn

My Cousin Vinny?
That's a great movie.

Eyeball Kid

01-02-2002, 02:06 AM

No order:

Hardware

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

Leprechaun: In Space (I suspect Leprechaun: In the Hood starring Ice-T may actually be worse, but having never seen it...)

The Philosophy of the Marquis De Sade in the Bedroom (this atrocity isn't even listed on IMDB, but I know it exists. I saw it at the university theater back in my college days. Evil, pure and simple.)

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (Mel's only really, really good film is Young Frankenstein, and that's due to Gene Wilder. Though he was a producer on The Elephant Man, so he gets to live).

The Avengers - just....no.

Cabin Boy - this is a shitty movie, BUT I love it anyway. Regardless of my love for it, it certainly ranks among the worst I've ever seen.

The Pepsi Girl "Western" ad at Regal Cinemas. Quite possibly the worst THING ever.

Superman 4 - sad.

Mars Attacks. Yeah, I got it. Just didn't find it funny or entertaining. It was too painful to finish.

wade

01-02-2002, 03:31 AM

Armageddon- Hate it for remembering gems like this: "Way Wrong ANSWER!", "Man...Talk About the *wrong* stuff!" and "My god...He has SPACE DIMENSIA!"
....But that Emotional crap between Willis and Affleck at the end was some of the funniest stuff ever.

Batman And Robin- bat-iceskates, constant Arnold Ice references("You're not sending me to the COOLER!", detailed rubber nipples, ass shots, shitty acting , the bat mastercard, a gotham city full of Naked Male Statues.....etc,etc,etc,etc

Little Nicky- Now i'm not a Sandler hater but this movie was just horrible. Soooooo Not funny and that voice....

Akira- Now i don't know if i hate this movie, but i didn't like it. I saw this on DVD a while ago when the special edition came out.
....So i guess back in the 80's it was the animation in this movie that made it so popular?
IMO That's the only thing that's halfway decent about this movie. It felt rushed, the story was confusing, I didn't even like ONE character in the movie......
I was struggling to stay awake near the end.
Someone told me that the comics are better, but i have no desire to pick them up after seeing the movie.

>>>>>I'll think of more later

[This message has been edited by wade (edited 01-02-2002).]

rutt13

01-02-2002, 12:11 PM

I choose to add more:
Just saw "Carnivore," a new video release...The monster looks like a giant CRITTER but much faker. And the movies set in the late 80' so everyone brings curly mullets and huge portable phones to the table. It was god awful, but the monster wins, and one of the "government agents" looks a heck of a lot like Joey Buttafuco. And there's a great line while one character is driving: "Scotty beam me up another beer." I laughed hard. Bad movie fans with a ffwd button may like it.
And "Rock n' Roll Nightmare" is one of the worst, but oh, it's also the best...

diabolisx

01-02-2002, 02:52 PM

With respect to certain movies I will not name any film here that I watched which I knew was going to be bad. I think you set yourself up for a fall if you go to the video store and rent a film such as bats or critters. A bad film for me is one which is suppose to be good but turns out like crap, and here's the list.

5. Star Wars Episode 1 (This movie was so terribly bad I almost walked out of the theatre. It's special FX look like they were ripped out of a Final Fantasy game, the plot, acting and pacing are some of the worst I've seen and if it weren't for this films huge cult following this film would be set up in the b grade category at the videostore.

4. Romeo Must Die - I love a good hong kong action flick as much as the next guy, but this film was bad. In the matrix I understand that Neo and his crew can defy gravity because it's an artificial world, but when Jet li can do it I have to scratch my head.

3. Batman & Robin - I have nothing to say that's been already said.

2. The Mummy Returns - The original was alright, I didn't like how Brendan Frasiers Character turned out to be some unstoppable juggernaut without fear or trepidation that he was going up against the legions of the undead. And the second film only triples this fact, Add the fact that the CGI and script suck ass and you've got yourself a weiner.

1. Battlefield Earth - A film based on one of the best selling novels ever. Well this film was terrible. You know why, we all know why. But why didn't the people making this film know why?

Mad_Man_Mundt

01-02-2002, 05:54 PM

Oh God yes. Higher Learning was terrible.

Sliver
Indecent Proposal

Nudist Colony Of The Dead.

rutt13

01-03-2002, 03:31 PM

firstly, this isn't rutt13 it's swykk (membership pending)secondly,this is an overall reply to everyone...with my list of worst 10 of all. opinions, everyone's got them (even rutt13, damn him for his comments on se7en) but the rage builds inside (like the hipsters that trash the matrix...we're too cool to dig keanu!). so here we go...

first- blue velvet, seven, natural born killers, the patriot, seven, fear and loathing in lv, and the forsaken are all wonderful films. to insult them makes me question the way some people watch movies. some things are psychological in film and sometimes the point isn't right in front of you. like i said, everyone can say what they will but a lot of times i enjoy having to figure out a movie (like say lynch films in general or like a natural born killers). i could write for days about the aforementioned...but instead i will leave it as me giving my respects to them. anyway, onto my ten worst (no order at all).

10 i zombie (fangoria needs to stop giving praise to crap)

9 asylum of satan (did anyone else just laugh at the satan creature?)

8 satan's touch (starting on multiple satan movies-this one not featuring ol' scratch himself!)

7 the forest

6 13 ghosts (remake)

5 anything by moneygrubbingburg. like spending ryan's millions....i think you can figure out who i mean. you know, the guy that cashed in on a great director's death.

4 daemonia (and i love lucio but what the hell was he thinking? maybe steak tar tar. i dunno).

3 urban legend 2: final cut (let's hope it is)

2 screwed (mainly because i loved dirty work and this was a let down)

1 children shouldn't play with dead things (this is in correct order...i almost had to cut my own throat i hated this with a passion)

and finally the rockstar trilogy, movies that are so bad they're incredibly funny and entertaining:

rock n roll nightmare (thor sooooo accepts the challenge and tunes weapons)

rocktober blood (the villain's laugh made me laugh)

trick or treat (ozzy is in this movie...it can't be bad based upon that alone).

that's all i got for now...

the coroner

Boogens

01-03-2002, 06:04 PM

"Roctober Blood"

Thanks for reminding, heh. What a piece of crap that film was.
Also had the worst "rock" music score ever.

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They don't call it the curse for nothing

Nighttrap38

01-03-2002, 11:03 PM

1. Empire Records
2. She's All That and any other Freddie Prinze Jr.(In fact, just about any teen movie these days)
3. Dogma (Smith's theology is sillier than the entire movie).
4. Any Bruckheimer/Bay film.
5. Contact(Waited the whole damn movie to see that alien and its her dad?!ARGHH)
6. The Thin Red Line (Movie's longer than the damn war!)
7. Nora Ephron movies.
8. The Contender (One of the most bigoted films since Birth of a Nation.)
9. Patch Adams
10. Wild Wild World of Batwoman (One for any MST3K fans out there. Not even Joel and the bots could make this funny.)