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View Full Version : Almost Killed a Lady Yesterday


Nick Nunziata
09-18-2005, 10:49 AM
Steve and I are thinking about playing winter baseball because life is short, so we took all my equipment up to the park to get practice hitting and pitching. One gets behind the screen and throws BP and the other takes his cuts. Pretty straightforward. We played in the big ballfield at Ocee Park over here. I think centerfield is about 360 and left and right around 330. I'm more of a gap hitter in softball but in baseball I'm a power hitter, pretty much a pull hitter whereas in softball I can hit to right just as easily as left. So we're plugging away.

Our last at-bat I decide to just air it out a little and see if I can crank a few balls out of the park. I did, all to left field. AS few really nice shots. Now, Ocee Park has a jogging track around the ballfields and whenever walkers or jogger or biker were from leftcenter to left I'd wait for them to pass on the outside chance I hit one out while they're there. It's their job to be wary but I wanted to make sure.

Steve throws a high one over the plate and I destroy it. I mean, DESTROY it. Moon shot way out. Problem is, it's to center where two Asian folks are walking. The odds of hitting them were tiny but they were oblivious. So I start screaming at them. Steve starts screaming at them. Waving our arms.

BAM!

I hit the old lady in her STOMACH. From like 375 feet away. She literally had like five or six seconds of warning and just kept walking. In the stomach! She screamed and grabbed her side. Steve and I rushed over there. Her husband's smiling and waiving his hands like "It's OK" and he tosses the ball to us. Meanshile she is hating life.

Turns out they knew ZERO English. Turns out they didn't realize that balls sometimes fly out of ballfields.

I felt real bad, but I was also kind of upset. I didn't get to enjoy what was possibly one of mt best swings ever and now I'd hurt someone. Steve was bordering between feeling the same way or giving me some special award. We waited there trying to see if there was anything we could do but eventually she began walking and the pair continued their somber journey.

Steve and I packed it up and left, but my wife said that she hoped the lady went to a doctor because her spleen could have been ruptured or something. Yow.

The morales of the story:

1. Prepare for balls at ballparks.

2. If you don't know English, at least learn how to say "I'm Hurt" or "I'm OK" or "What a blast, slugger!".

3. I'm ready to play winter ball, provided there's no fielding.

Misfit
09-18-2005, 11:09 AM
Yow. And you probably shouldn't have stood over her screaming "Where's your Overfiend now, bitch?" But that's just my opinion.

Ludwig
09-18-2005, 11:13 AM
That you are able to play baseball in the winter makes me mad with envy.

Also, now people can honestly say that "Nick Balls Asian Ladies!"

cesar
09-18-2005, 11:17 AM
Foreigners. Sheesh. *shakes head*

Nick Nunziata
09-18-2005, 11:37 AM
Yow. And you probably shouldn't have stood over her screaming "Where's your Overfiend now, bitch?" But that's just my opinion.

Yeah, a few jokes along those lines were uttered once she proved to be alive. Steve was in rare form.

Werbal_Kint
09-18-2005, 12:18 PM
I thought Asians loved baseball.

Vader
09-18-2005, 01:31 PM
That was the Baseball God's giving you a sign.

Now they want you to hit a Hispanic and an African American and you're ready for Winter Ball.

Nick Nunziata
09-18-2005, 02:24 PM
That was the Baseball God's giving you a sign.

Now they want you to hit a Hispanic and an African American and you're ready for Winter Ball.

Or be President.

Matt Goldberg
09-18-2005, 02:44 PM
In situations like these, I take the least controversial route and just Blame God.

"Sorry, lady, but Jesus sent that ball into your organs. Take it up with him."

wadew1
09-18-2005, 02:46 PM
You're lucky you didn't hit something important like a car. My dad once hit a ball out of the park and onto the hood of a passing camaro. Dad had to pay for that dent after the guy went a little crazy.

tcjsavannah
09-18-2005, 05:16 PM
Instead of Sadaharu Oh, we'll nickname you Sadaharu Ow!

foldslikepaper
09-18-2005, 10:28 PM
You're lucky you didn't hit something important like a car.

I'm hoping that was meant to be ironic.

wadew1
09-18-2005, 10:36 PM
I'm hoping that was meant to be ironic.

Uh.....yeah. DON'T PANIC!

Domingo
09-18-2005, 11:50 PM
Put it this way. It wasn't no headshot.

Samurai Mike
09-19-2005, 12:05 AM
Its like something out of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Don't, whatever you do, try to appease the Asian community by holding a cultural event of some kind.

Randolph Carter
09-19-2005, 06:05 AM
Yow. And you probably shouldn't have stood over her screaming "Where's your Overfiend now, bitch?" But that's just my opinion.

Or "Dude, you better have some SYMPATHY FOR that LADY or she might begin planning her VENGEANCE".
Heh, did you see what i just did there?

gravedigger
09-19-2005, 10:27 AM
Hitting an Asian should be a new requirement for hitting the cycle.

Doug
09-19-2005, 10:37 AM
How can you be asian and not know what happens in a ballpark?

Barkatthemoon
09-19-2005, 02:16 PM
"Juice by Nick, juice by Nick".

"Woah Nick, woah Nick".

"Nick's got the juice".

phoenix_214
09-19-2005, 02:44 PM
"Juice by Nick, juice by Nick".

"Woah Nick, woah Nick".

"Nick's got the juice".
All your records will have an asterisk by them now, Nick :-/

Of course, you could always talk to Balco, and get 'in the clear'.

4496 aka Joe Sixpack
09-19-2005, 03:23 PM
You're lucky you didn't hit something important like a car. My dad once hit a ball out of the park and onto the hood of a passing camaro. Dad had to pay for that dent after the guy went a little crazy.

Had something similar to this happen to me once. Me and some buddies were playing on a local field, which is right near a pretty busy street. One of my friends hit a long foul ball that headed for the street. Right at that moment a pickup truck hauling a bunch of branches and stuff rode by. The ball landed in the back of the truck and the guy just kept on going. We joked for years that, assuming the guy kept driving for a few miles or whatever, it was probably one of the farthest balls ever hit.

otisthecat
09-19-2005, 04:00 PM
The stomach shot, much more amusing than the traditional head smack.

Jacob Singer
09-19-2005, 04:17 PM
"Sa-WING, hey battter batter batter batter battter, SA-WING!!"

<crack>

"Damn, Nick, you crushed that one! Holy shit!"

"Hey lady, look out! LOOK OUT!"

<WOOMPH>

"Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu!"

Nick Nunziata
09-19-2005, 05:01 PM
"Sa-WING, hey battter batter batter batter battter, SA-WING!!"

<crack>

"Damn, Nick, you crushed that one! Holy shit!"

"Hey lady, look out! LOOK OUT!"

<WOOMPH>

"Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu!"


Hit that bitch so hard she didn't have time to finish her spinning star-kick.

Andrew Sweeney
09-19-2005, 05:13 PM
Tatsu-maki-sen-ku-pyuu-*BONK*

neaux
09-21-2005, 08:06 AM
what is worse getting hit by a baseball or getting hit by a golf ball?


I can say that in my life I've been hit by both. The baseball split my upperlip into two forcing me to have plastic surgery at age 9. Bled a whole lot and had stitches with no anesthesia... that wasn't fun.



I also got hit with a golf ball taking pictures of my company's annual golf outing 2 years ago. While I didnt need to go to the doctor, I can honestly say that getting hit by a golf ball is 20 x worse in pain. I took a shot straight into my left arm. The ball slammed my arm and then whacked the back seat of the golf cart I was taking pictures in. The fucker who hit the ball didnt even say Fore!

My arm was a rainbow bruise that changed colors every day for 2 weeks. It looked as bad as it felt.

ShaolinMK
09-21-2005, 10:05 AM
Tatsu-maki-sen-ku-pyuu-*BONK*
Ken and Ryu wept.