Jesus Christ. I'm turning into FrankCobretti

[FrankCobretti]

So last night I'm having a minor dispute with my wife. It's over household chores.

Raising an index finger for emphasis, I say, "I assert dish parity!"

I'm starting to talk like I write. I'm spending too much time on these boards.

Verbosely,
FC

[Alan "Nordling" Cerny]

If you really sounded like FrankCobretti while doing dishes, you would say something along the lines of "Spaghetti sauce is the disease. Palmolive is the cure."

[Doug]

Me too. After a dispute with the wife I punched out my chief.
But then again, what do I care?

[Werbal_Kint]

He writes the way people talk!

[Anderson]

I don't write the way I talk, nor do I write the way Frank Cobretti talks.

It is a pity.

[Pop Zeus]

Well, if you're not you, then you the hell are you?

[Overlord]

The "my cock ain't going to suck itself" line is one of the greatest of all time.

[FrankCobretti]

Well, if you're not you, then you the hell are you?

Interesting question. FrankCobretti started as an experiment in applying the techniques of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671723650/qid=1106246197/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/103-0642333-1705406). I figured the Sewer would be good testing ground.

Well, those techniques worked, and I've since gone about applying them in my daily life, where the results have been nothing short of amazing.

So, how is FrankCobretti different from the physical me? Well, Frank's a little more understanding, a little less snarky, and a lot more forgiving. In short, Frank's my best self.

Who is Key Chung?

[Anderson]

Key Chung is Connie and Maury's first attempt at mating.

It was born with its heart on the outside. Now, it raises catfish in Ocala, Florida.

[FrankCobretti]

Awesome.

[Pop Zeus]

Who is Key Chung?

If I told you, they'd arrest me for murder because, frankly, it would. Blow. Your. Mind.

[Jared Melton]

This thread is responsible for my co-worker losing AT&T wireless's customer care b/c I was laughing my ass off to this thread. she started laughing and the lady thought she was getting pranked, so she hung up...My Coworker then proceeded to cuss up a storm and we both laughed some more...

[El Topo]

I wonder if Dale turns into Grifter in real life - Jekyll & Hyde style ...

[Rath/Brendan]

While I am not turning into FrankCobretti either (although I admit to copping his "clever description of state of being, then signature" for e-mails), I have noticed that my speech patterns have taken on a particular...flair since joining the internet. And by "flair" I mean "sweeping, hyperbolic statements mixed with bizarre geek references only four people in the world will get."

And my continuing obsessions with various television writers influences that as well, so, at this present moment in time, I speak like the bastard geek love child of a David Mamet-Aaron Sorkin-Joss Whedon-Internet Talkbacker.

[Pop Zeus]

Key Chung is Connie and Maury's first attempt at mating.

It was born with its heart on the outside. Now, it raises catfish in Ocala, Florida.

Wrong. I was born with my heart on my sleeve.

The catfish part is true, except it isn't catfish, but instead an bevy of sexy mermaids.

[FrankCobretti]

Wrong. I was born with my heart on my sleeve.

The catfish part is true, except it isn't catfish, but instead an bevy of sexy mermaids.

But don't they have, like, fish-stuff down there?

[Brad Millette]

But don't they have, like, fish-stuff down there?

"Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top, and the lady part on the bottom?!"

[Pop Zeus]

But don't they have, like, fish-stuff down there?

These mermaids are not cold-blooded. Like Rick James says, they hot.

[imported_T_M]

Unfortuantely, this line of thinking almost guarentees that all the CHUD members will eventually be thinking about the same things. We'll be one happy collective, like the BORG.

[Jared Melton]

"Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top, and the lady part on the bottom?!"
...Splash?