Help a newbie out!

[Will Young]

Hey guys,

I'm new to these boards but I really hope to fit right in, there's a bunch of really nice people here, it seems.

Anyway, those of you who read the political forum may already know that I'm a gay man. Well, I've got a dilemma that I was hoping some of you could give me advice about.

There's this friend I have at work. We get on really well. We're interior designers which should instantly tell you something about a person - that they're gay. I know it's a cliche but it's really true in my experience. I'm gay, many of my colleagues are gay too.

But this friend of mine isn't gay, or so he says. He has a girlfriend, a totally stupid whore who I know he can't really like.

But I feel he's "the one." I need to get him. He's so perfect for me, he gets me in every way and he's so beautiful. When I look into his eyes I just know we could be so happy together.

I know he must feel for me too. I can't point to anything specific, but I just know he cares for me in a way that suggests he's not just a friend but a little bit more.

But what should I do, guys? Tell him my feelings and risk losing our friendship? Or sit by and watch that way skanky ho just cling to him like some kind of wristwatch for straight men - you know, some tacky Casio thing - yucky!

He's just right.

What should I do? Help would be much appreciated.

Thanks guys.

[Dances with Chainsaws]

It seems to me that your only real option is to kill her. I mean...she's in the way of your happiness, right? No one would blame you....I know I wouldn't. Go on....you know what you must do. :)

[Whitey Powers, Jive Homicide Det.]

Shenanig........ eh why even bother.

[Dances with Chainsaws]

...by the way....Do you own a wood chipper?...you might want to consider buying one in the near future. Ya never know when you'll need to dispose of some pesky "dead limbs".:)

[Dances with Chainsaws]

... Do you cook? Does she have a pet? Have you ever seen Fatal Attraction? It might not get the job done...but it's a good start.:)

[Will Young]

Well, certainly her death would be a bonus, but why would I want to ruin my clothes with her blood?

What could I do to attract his attention? A coy smile? A bulging boner?

Guys - if you were on the fence about your sexuality (on the fence - ooh, matron!) what might swing the balance to the queer way?

[Dances with Chainsaws]

I've been thinking...perhaps I was a bit too hasty with the whole 'Murder" thing.....I'm sure that horrible disfigurement would do the trick...If that doesn't work...then try that murder thingy.:)

[Will Young]

Originally posted by Dances with Chainsaws
I've been thinking...perhaps I was a bit too hasty with the whole 'Murder" thing.....I'm sure that horrible disfigurement would do the trick...If that doesn't work...then try that murder thingy.:)

Sweetie, believe me. She's disfigured enough! What a tramp! She looks like Paris Hilton crossed with Michael Jackson, only with less fabulous sense of style and fashion.

Oh me, oh my. What a certain little skank she is!

I think he knows how stupid she is, though. Sometimes it's like watching that terrific Newlyweds programme. My lovely man is like Nick (lurve the muscles!) and she's like the skanky and ditsy Jessica. Not a smart bone in that tiny little head of hers. But I've got at least one smart bone she hasn't got, and that'll be the one that will get me my handsome prince in time.

He has such fabulous sense of fashion, too.

[Dances with Chainsaws]

Well, you only live once. Go for it. Let him know how you feel. You'll never know if you don't try. If it kills the friendship, perhaps it wasn't that strong to begin with.....At least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering about what might've been. But, what do I know?...I'm a hopeless romantic.

[Will Young]

Thanks, Dances With Chainsaws. You've been the one welcoming voice in this whole CHUD website, and I thank you for that.

Too many of the other posters here are quick to denounce me as "a problem". That's the kind of bigotry I have to put up with every day.

But Dances has embraced me into her loving bosom and given me advice about a man very dear to my heart whom I love deeply. I now have the courage to express my true feelings, and I have CHUD - or more specifically, Dances With Chainsaws - to thank.

Thank you, sweetie. You can go shopping for handbags with me any time.

Kisses and hugs,
Will

xxx

[Dances with Chainsaws]

Originally posted by Will Young
Dances has embraced me into her loving bosom.


I do have a rather lovely bosom...thank you for noticing.:)

[thomas.galvin]

This may come off as glib, and if it does, I hope you'll forgive me. Anyway, I have, over the last few years, gotten to know myself fairly well. One of the areas I have most tried to improve myself is in the area of romantic, or potentially romantic, relationships. I've made enough mistakes to last a lifetime, and I've spent more than a few nights contemplating how to avoid as many as possible in the future. One of the things that I have realised is that, when I say something like "she's perfect for me," I could usually finish it up with "except that she's completely uninterested," and when I say "I love her," it can generally be translated "she's cute, and I haven't gotten any in a while." I am by no means an expert in these things, but when I hear such profound professions so early in a relationship, and especially before a relationship has begun, it sends up warning flags.

[kittyinjammies]

Originally posted by Dances with Chainsaws
I do have a rather lovely bosom...thank you for noticing.:)

bwa-HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Dances with Chainsaws]

Originally posted by kittyinjammies
bwa-HAHAHAHAHAHA!


Jealous. :p

[billylove]

There's drugs for situations like this.

[DJ Dylan]

I love how this guy pretends to be british. It's SOOOO fake. Oh, and Dances with Chainsaws, you are hilarious. Nice bosom. Ahahahaha.

[DJ Dylan]

Oh I know he is.