I Will Assign You An Artist

[Donald Wiskerando]

Post here and I will assign an artist based on what I think of your posts. Or, if you haven't bliped on my radar yet (no offense if you haven't, I've been away) then I will assign an artist based on what I assume about you.

Go!

[Eileen]

I want my artist

[Smirk]

Hmmmm...I'm intrigued Laugharn.

[HBarr]

OK, so you live in my fair city, and we haven't interacted yet on CHUD. Color me interested in your premise and sign me up.

[Swykk]

Why not? What have I got to lose?

[imported_T_M]

I'm ready.

[Embrodak]

Alright, go for it.

[yt]

Oi. Definitely!

[flyarz]

Hit me.

[Social]

Do me! Do me!!

[Rivers Axl Rose Cuomo]

Bring it.

[Donald Wiskerando]

Note: This will probably take awhile.

Buttercup: Drew Struzan (http://www.drewstruzan.com/?fa=main), for he too has made his living thanks in no small part to Harrison Ford.

Smirk: Gustave Caillebotte (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/caillebotte/), for the French influence (much like your hometown) and the fact that he's often overlooked when compared to his contemporaries, but no less good.

Gigilo Joe: I don't really know you, so I haven't gathered feelings about you one way or the other. But your name has a robot in it, so I assume you like robots. Thus, I assign you Caza (http://perso.wanadoo.fr/monot.jc/index.htm#/monot.jc/biblio/leroau__.htm), famous for painting robots and other science fiction things.

Swykk: Dave McKean (http://www.dreamline.nu/), famous for his work on Sandman. But this might be more based on your music taste than anything else.

T_Mike:

Malachi Constant: Bob Masse (http://www.bmasse.com/), for he too liked classic rock.

Embrodak: No clue who you are, sorry. So, uh, I'll assign you Chax (http://www.chax.net/frameset.html) because Chax is always fun to look at.

Bunny Dracula: Erwin Wurm (http://www.jackhanley.com/id59.htm), clever art at its worst.

yt: Georges Seurat (http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/seurat_georges.html), because much like his Pointilist masterpieces, it's hard to peg one single element that makes you such a great poster, but all the elements add up to something extrodinary.

flyarz: I consider you one of my contemporaries. And since I've reserved the roles of Jean Arp here for myself, that makes you Wassily Kandinsky (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/kandinsky/).

[CTDeLude]

It's the can't miss event of the season!

[Andre Dellamorte]

Better get in fast before you get bored of it.

[Isao Kanemasa]

HIT ME!

[Donald Wiskerando]

Originally posted by Andre Dellamorte
Better get in fast before you get bored of it.

Yeah. And this one is about 1000 times harder than the other ones, so who knows when that'll be!

Meanwhile:

Social:

Rivers: Again, don't know too much about you other than that you obviously like Weezer and Guns n' Roses. So, uh, Adrian Tomine (http://www.comicartcollective.com/tomine/) is a pretty good comic artist, and he did that Weezer "Super-hero Girls" poster.

CTDeLude: Gustave Dore (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/dore/), who's done a bunch of well known Bible illustrations and engravings.

Andre Dellamorte: Finding a good post by you is like trying to find a goofy looking guy wearing a striped shirt in a big crowd of people. So you're Martin Handford (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-7507637-6567929), creator of Where's Waldo.

[Donald Wiskerando]

Khitcher: Cai Guo-Qiang (http://www.artnet.com/magazine/features/itoi/itoi5-17-02.asp), because you're the coolest Chinese guy I know.

[Donald Wiskerando]

And I just realized that I accidentally skipped the people I was having trouble coming up with artists for. This will be rectified as soon as I have a good idea*.

*- Take this for what it's worth.

[Isao Kanemasa]

Damnit, I was hoping for that rad French dude who makes sand art.

Cai's cool, tho'.

[Donald Wiskerando]

Originally posted by Isao Kanemasa
Damnit, I was hoping for that rad French dude who makes sand art.

You spoiled the surprise for Blunt :(

[Embrodak]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
Embrodak: No clue who you are, sorry. So, uh, I'll assign you Chax because Chax is always fun to look at.

It's cool. I'm relatively new here. But at least you spelled my user name right. Some people, though I don't know why since it is spelled out on the site a number of different times, have problems with that. I've had people call me Emborak before. (Still don't know who Emborak is.)

As for you pick, it was funny. Disturbing, but funny. Crazy Japanese. (That is a Japanese site, isn't it?)

[Smirk]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III

Smirk: Gustave Caillebotte (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/caillebotte/), for the French influence (much like your hometown) and the fact that he's often overlooked when compared to his contemporaries, but no less good.


You rock. I am a big fan of impressionists, and he is overlooked, so its pretty apt. Thanks, Laugharn.

[Donald Wiskerando]

Embroduck: Yeah, Chax is pure Japanese zaniness. I have a Gloomy Bear in my room with me, complete with blood on its claws. Truly, God's gift.

Smirk: Glad you liked it. I'm more a fan of Impressionism now than I was just a few years ago. I still prefer its last dying years to the early stuff, though.

[Isao Kanemasa]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
You spoiled the surprise for Blunt :(

Ooops...

[Smirk]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
that makes you Wassily Kandinsky (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/kandinsky/).

-75 Nerd Points for any Double Jeopardy references.

[Eileen]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
Buttercup: Drew Struzan (http://www.drewstruzan.com/?fa=main), for he too has made his living thanks in no small part to Harrison Ford.

Cool! Thanks Mr Don....

Never been to Drew's site and I too wish I could make a living off of Harrison Ford :)

[Andre Dellamorte]

I guess someone's not a fan of cut and paste Slash fic.

[yt]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
yt: Georges Seurat (http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/seurat_georges.html), because much like his Pointilist masterpieces, it's hard to peg one single element that makes you such a great poster, but all the elements add up to something extrodinary.


I'm honored. Thanks, Laugharn.

[El Gray]

Alrighty. GO.

[Wilhelm]

Me too.

[Kid Ego]

Do me, Dan.

[Blunt]

Thanks for nothing, khitch. But oh well....

[Sammy Jankis]

I'll take one to go, please.

[Burke]

You pick Kinkade I bleed you slow.

[Micah Robinson]

Make it happen.

[Jason P. Thompson]

Send one my way

[Matt Carroll]

yes

[Jacob Singer]

I'll probably get Norman Rockwell...

And you just know he'll never get around to all these names...

[Ugly Goblin Boy]

I need attention...

[General Logan]

Dan: I would be interested in what you have to say.

[sorro]

Hook me up with my artist, Dan!

[CTDeLude]

Originally posted by Burke
You pick Kinkade I bleed you slow.

HAHAHAHA

[Katanga]

I've Paypal'd you the necessary funds...Hit It.

[Kronos]

I need an artist, dammit. I need to be caught in just the right light...chin up, looking right toward my destiny, flag of my new empire in hand...glorious!

[Rex Hudler]

He'll never make it to me.

[Z-Man]

OK, this looks like fun.

[raoul duke]

Go Laugharn.

[Brian Ross]

ME

[A-Pathetic]

As is my lot in life, I'm compelled to request Laugharn add me into his games even knowing what his attention span is.

[Tony Ryan]

Do me!

[Donald Wiskerando]

I'm gonna go out of order, getting the ones that I know right away out of the way and filling in the blanks. I WILL be finishing this.

El Gray

Wilhelm

Kid Ego

Blunt: Claude Monet (http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/monet/). Obvious, yeah, but it's still good.

Sammy Jankis

Burke

Micah

L7: Another one I don't quite know. But, as history has taught us, your name forms a square, and Burgoyne Diller (http://www.artnet.com/ag/fineartthumbnails.asp?aid=5271) liked sqaures and other geometric things, so it's like you two were seperated at birth.

Carroll

Singer

UGB

Logan

sorro

Katanga: Marcel Duchamp (http://www.marcelduchamp.org/ImpossibleBed/PartI/), Dadaist contemporary of Arp.

Kronos

R-Lu: The Brothers Eames (http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/eames/), practical and stylish, well regarded in multiple fields.

Z-Man:

raoul duke: Carlo Carrà (http://www.artinvest2000.com/carra_english.htm), influential Futurist who's politics shine through in most all his work. Particularly Funeral of the anarchist Galli.

Brian Ross: Oltos (http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/view1.asp?dep=13&full=0&item=1989%2E281%2E69), ancient Greek sculptor/painter.

A-P

Tony Ryan

[Kirby Drummond]

Can't resist this level of creativity. Hit me.

[Jason P. Thompson]

L7: Another one I don't quite know. But, as history has taught us, your name forms a square, and Burgoyne Diller liked sqaures and other geometric things, so it's like you two were seperated at birth. I'm very content with my pairing up. Thanks!

[Sister Gracie Lou]

I'm game.

[Wilhelm]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III

Katanga: Marcel Duchamp (http://www.marcelduchamp.org/ImpossibleBed/PartI/), Dadaist contemporary of Arp.


Damn. I wanted the urinal guy.

[LlamaRama]

Consider my curiosity piqued.

[HBarr]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III

Gigilo Joe: I don't really know you, so I haven't gathered feelings about you one way or the other. But your name has a robot in it, so I assume you like robots. Thus, I assign you Caza (http://perso.wanadoo.fr/monot.jc/index.htm#/monot.jc/biblio/leroau__.htm), famous for painting robots and other science fiction things.


Excellent pick! I am a big sci-fi fan, and I am a huge fan of Asimov's Robot series.

[Ugly Goblin Boy]

Awe damn, I"m a blanky... I've heard all the lines before "don't worry UGB, I'll get back to you. Really, I will..."

[Blunt]

Monet, excellent! Love him.

[Donald Wiskerando]

THE Waterlillies is in Houston right now. Its pretty spectacular.

[Blunt]

The original one? Wow. I've seen four-five versions of the Waterlilies, but I'm not sure I ever saw the original. But yeah he's a great painter, back when I was in London last summer there was a Monet special display at the National Gallery, I spent about an hour in there. Awesome stuff.

[Donald Wiskerando]

No.

[Jennifer]

Interesting concept. What do you make of me?

[Donald Wiskerando]

Let's be realistic here, folks: The odds are good I'm not going to ever finish this thre

[Jennifer]

True. But there is no rule saying that you have to go in order of who posted first.

[Donald Wiskerando]

See, this one is so hard because I'm trying to put thought into it, apply an artist to each person. But I don't know everyone well enough to do that, so I could just assign random artists, but that's no fun. So the experiment is a failure. And even the people I do know well, my recall in times of importance is shit, so I know there's somebody out there that'd match well but I can't remember them. So I spend like a half hour tracking them down. Now, more than ever, I need an AI program to do things for me.

I have a couple of threads I could start that I know I'd finish, if anybody wants me to go with one of those.

[Jennifer]

Well go with one of those but keep working on this one too.

[flyarz]

Basically, just assign Jennifer an artist and then bail.

[Jennifer]

Originally posted by flyarz
Basically, just assign Jennifer an artist and then bail.

Shut up, Spleen!

[Scott Standridge]

We all need art in our lives. Me especially. :)

[DJ Dylan]

Artistify me.

And Bunny, PLEASE GOD...CHANGE YOUR SIG!!!

[flyarz]

Originally posted by DJ Dylan
Artistify me.

And Bunny, PLEASE GOD...CHANGE YOUR SIG!!!

http://www.amazinganimalactors.com/chimp_art/Apollo%20painting.jpg

[Donald Wiskerando]

Problems with BD:

1. Not funny.
2. Really thinks he's funny.
3. Takes insignificant shit seriously.
4. Obnoxious for the sake of it.

To tie this into an art thread:

The most important thing about being an artist in the post-Avant Garde post-everything American art scene is caring in a not caring way. You do care, though. For some stupid or fucked up reason, my opinion in this stupid thread I didn't even finish matters to you. So much so that you threw a tantrum. A tantrum combined with your usual trying way too hard on things, combining to reveal what's been true all along: You're obnoxious. Obnoxious with a kind of petty adolescent twinge, no less.

You try to compare yourself to Warhol, but so what? You make oblique pop culture references and put color on stuff? Far be it for me to quote Fight Club, but sticking feathers up your butt doesn't make you a chicken. I could do the same shit you're doing but it doesn't make me anymore like Andy Warhol than you. Where's the revolution? Where's the social commentary on consumer? Where are the genuinely clever ideas? Where are the silver mylar baloons? Certainly not in your posts. You're the guy who spits in people's soup or puts a banana under his arm and shouts "LOOK HOW CLEVER AND WITTY AND INTELLIGENT I AM! LOVE ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" at the top of your lungs.

And that shit's sad.

[Eyeball Kid]

*bump*
--------------------------------------------------
I'm painting, I'm painting again.
I'm painting, I'm painting again.
I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning again.
I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning my brain.

Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
Pretty soon now, will be a quitter.
Pretty soon now, I will be bitter.
You can't see it 'til it's finished

I don't have to prove...that I am creative!
I dont' have to prove...that I am creative!
All my pictures are confused
And now I'm going to take me to you.

-Talking Heads, "Artists Only"
----------------------------------------------------

...which is my way of saying I'd like to be assigned an artist if you ever finish the thread.

[Burke]

Worst Laugharn abandonment of a thread ever.

[Donald Wiskerando]

Too hard! I had too much stuff to do! If I did a thread that was "I will assign you the first thing I see in my room" then I'm pretty sure I could finish that.

[Matt Carroll]

No problem. I'll just assign myself the guy who did this (http://www.truckersforchrist.org/images/painting2.jpg).

[Burke]

I refuse to let Laugharn let this thread die.

I say we call Mr. Wiskerando names until he finishes.

Dan, you need to finish this thread. Do I need to send you my copy of Janson's or Gardners?

[A-Pathetic]

I would never have thrown my name into this if I'd thought there was the slightest chance Laugharn would follow through. Apparently everybody else is playing a different game than I am, I feel the need to be abandoned by Dan on a regular basis.

[Rex Hudler]

Originally posted by Donald Wiskerando III
If I did a thread that was "I will assign you the first thing I see in my room" then I'm pretty sure I could finish that.

This should be the next one.

[Donald Wiskerando]

"I Will Assign You A Product of Some Sort"
"I Will Assign You Something in the Fridge*"
"I will rate you based on how many letters your screen name has"
"I will abandon you"

*-Six people can apply for this one.