5 new Lumiere stories up!

[WrappedinPlastic loves life]

Great stuff guys! 4 new and one of mine, Parasite, finally gets up after many changes from Hastur! Dan...what can I say, I was laughing my ass off. That was just hilarious stuff you had. I couldn't hold in the laughter at the "I spent about two weeks just running around town, howling at the moon like Michael fuckin’ Jackson" line.

Big thumbs up to everyone elses! Keep up the good work!

[Avalon]

I never post without checking for the new ones first. Five more! Yippee!

"What Must Be Done" was excellent!

Rath, I really enjoyed yours as well and was pleasantly surprised to see your name at the bottom. That's a compliment! Please don't take it any other way. Keep going..you did really good here.

[voltes5]

Just Another Day at the Office
Since I have already read this on the board, I wasn't as excited reading it. That's a lesson to not prematurely post your work on the boards. It defeats the purpose of CHUDStories.....<ends rant> As for the story, I loved it! Rath, like you protagonist, you do have a thing with dead chicks. And you question the integrity of your menstrual-inspired artist? Great job.

Parasite
I like it. EC Horror meets Image "Spawn" Comics. Is this a brand new mythology you've created or based on established mythos -- perhaps even Biblical?

Today's Special
I just finished playing "The Thing" videogame, and this is a great homage to that fantastic film. Your ending sure is also definitely delicious. Heh.

What Must Be Done
Another great work, you Homicidal Maniac you. Very poetic and flowed extremely well. I loved the juxtaposition of beautiful prose with dark and graphic imageries. So many story possibilities can come out of that unmarked grave.

The Quiet Life
Pardon my simple praise, but "Dan IS the man!" What a pro you are, sir. It's a sample of excellent short story writing. Pay attention to this noobs (I include myself in that throng of wannabes)! Dan focused on the turd and talked specifically about the turd. What else to say but "excellent!"..... On that note, my one Character story will look like I stole the idea from you. Dammit. Oh well, I cannot compete with a master wordsmith. :D

[Richard Dickson]

Rath, thumbs up to your use of Alastair Grimnall in "Just Another Day at the Office."

[Unbreathless]

mmm
As I said to Claudia when I sent this in, I don't really want any stories to come out of the girl in this one (supernatural ones anyways). Seems to flow against the sentiment and feeling behind the story. I think she should be left out of the supernatural stuff.

Thank you for the praise though, much appreciated.

[Hastur]

Just so you guys know: I put What Must be Done in with the Lumiere stories because it didn't fit anywhere, yet. Perhaps at some later date, it might go into a better place, but for now, it was Lumiere.

And, knowing Johnny's desires, I will try to remember to remind anyone that uses her in a future story, not to. (I shouldn't post before going to work. I really shouldn't.)

BTW, Voltes: The EC angle was precisely the voice I read Parasite in, the first time around. Too cool.

OK. You guys have seen some really good characters. Gimme more! Gimme more!

[Avalon]

They were all great! Seriously. I may be a smoker, but I'm not a smoke blower. *g*

I'm just popping in real quick here because I'm running a little late in getting ready for work. I can't take the time at the moment to search, but whoever it was that posted the 3 snippets about the 3 stories that he's working on, please drop me a PM so I can send you my email addy. They sounded interesting and I would like to read them if they are too long to post here on these threads. It may have been Scott Roche, but I'm not sure. I just caught a glimse the other day and can't remember who the writer is. Thanks! Have a CHUD day everyone!

[WickerMan]

c:\format Voltes:

[b]Today's Special
I just finished playing "The Thing" videogame, and this is a great homage to that fantastic film. Your ending sure is also definitely delicious. Heh.Thanks mate, appreciate it.
Ive always loved 'The Thing' so just thought id play around with the character and have a bit of fun. :)

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

Great stories!!! I love this board! *sniff*

[Dan Whitehead]

Oh, this is good stuff. Each new update is like an injection of pure rainbow-hued joy, directly into yopur eyeball.

Just Another Day At The Office
I enjoyed this when I first read it here on the boards ("Too impatient is he. Train him I cannot" - Yoda). I prefer this to your other stories because it's got it's own rythm and pace. Your previous stories felt too restricted by having to explain and notate every landmark and person mentioned, and came across as more like entries from the Lumiere Bible than stories in their own right. But this one is damn cool, and I can't wait to see what you do with the characters.

Parasite
I loved the voice of this story, the way other people's actions appeared weird and warped through the characters eyes. The way the people acted at the party reminded me of Society, too friendly, too normal. Great pay-off as well. I'm hoping that only he can see the change in himself - but I guess I'll have to wait and see...

Today's Special
This story highlighted one of the problems of message board life. I had no idea it was by my good buddy WickerMan when I first read it, as he's using some sort of fake name - "Mark Robbins". Given the butcher shop setting and the title of the story, I figured out where we were going quite early on (or maybe it's just because I've seen League Of Gentlemen?) but I was still grinning at the payoff. Not because it surprised me, but because it went for the lowkey "this is completely normal" angle.

What Must Be Done
Brilliant story. Very different to what everyone else has done, and that's always cool. It's one of those stories where - in reality - not very much happens. It's almost all internal dialogue and conflict - and that's very easy to attempt, but harder to pull off. This story manages to be both poignant and horrific.

The Quiet Life
What kind of sick bastard writes a story about shit? I don't know who this hack is, but he needs to get his mind out of the gutter. Asshole.

[WickerMan]

The Abominable Doctor Whitehead:
.I had no idea it was by my good buddy WickerMan when I first read it, as he's using some sort of fake name - "Mark Robbins".Yeah mate, i did send Hastur a short Bio with my name and stuff but it didnt go up for some reason, i'll drop her a polite note and see if she will add it when she's got the time.

And yeah just what kind of sick bastard writes about turds. I tell ya as soon as we find out i'll send the boys round, send him swimming with a set of concrete flippers. :D

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

The Pit and The WickerMan:
The Abominable Doctor Whitehead:
.I had no idea it was by my good buddy WickerMan when I first read it, as he's using some sort of fake name - "Mark Robbins".Yeah mate, i did send Hastur a short Bio with my name and stuff but it didnt go up for some reason, i'll drop her a polite note and see if she will add it when she's got the time.

And yeah just what kind of sick bastard writes about turds. I tell ya as soon as we find out i'll send the boys round, send him swimming with a set of concrete flippers. :D Well as writers I say we write what we know. Just proves what I've said all along. Mr. Whitehead knows about writing shit. Or is that knows shit about writing? :)

[Dan Whitehead]

I think my preferred version would be "Dan Whitehead is 'tha shit' when it comes to writing".

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

The Abominable Doctor Whitehead:
I think my preferred version would be "Dan Whitehead is 'tha shit' when it comes to writing".Tru dat, tru dat. Goatta giv ya mad propz!!

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

:) I just want to be Dan's Padawan learner! :)

[Waco]

Great stuff, gang. Fun reading!

Hate to shill, but did anyone happen to read <a href="http://www.chud.com/chudstories/stories/rusty.php3" target="_blank">The Rusty Nail Diner</a>? I didn't get so much as a "You suck, Flanders!" out of you people, so I figured you were politely choosing to say nothing... Kinda hoping for some constructive criticism.

[Dan Whitehead]

Waco:
Great stuff, gang. Fun reading!

Hate to shill, but did anyone happen to read <a href="http://www.chud.com/chudstories/stories/rusty.php3" target="_blank">The Rusty Nail Diner</a>? I didn't get so much as a "You suck, Flanders!" out of you people, so I figured you were politely choosing to say nothing... Kinda hoping for some constructive criticism.I read it, and loved it. Really punchy, black humour. Sorry if I didn't say anything at the time, but most people will just read something and enjoy it. If you really want feedback on a story, just start a thread and point it out to people. It ain't shilling to ask people to visit CHUDStories - it's a sacred duty.

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

Waco:
Great stuff, gang. Fun reading!

Hate to shill, but did anyone happen to read <a href="http://www.chud.com/chudstories/stories/rusty.php3" target="_blank">The Rusty Nail Diner</a>? I didn't get so much as a "You suck, Flanders!" out of you people, so I figured you were politely choosing to say nothing... Kinda hoping for some constructive criticism.I think I ate there once. :)

It's good stuff. Wicker and I were talking about twist endings and in these shorter stories you have to have some kind of punch or gimmick. It works nicely here having him keel over at the end. It leaves me wanting more which in this case is good.

Don't be afraid to ask for criticism. Sometimes that's the only way to get it.

[Waco]

Well, gosh. Thanks. High praise from a man who can write a good store about shitting in a driveway. That killed me :)

Funny thing is, it wasn't really supposed to be twist... it was more about Peggy originally, before I had to cut about 250 words out it. Mostly an intro of her dumping a body in the dumpster, and a little bit more into her reasoning which will I left out to explain elsewhere.

Thanks for the feedback!

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

Waco:
Well, gosh. Thanks. High praise from a man who can write a good store about shitting in a driveway. That killed me :)

Funny thing is, it wasn't really supposed to be twist... it was more about Peggy originally, before I had to cut about 250 words out it. Mostly an intro of her dumping a body in the dumpster, and a little bit more into her reasoning which will I left out to explain elsewhere.

Thanks for the feedback!Email me the whole thing if you have it. I'd love to read it.

[WrappedinPlastic loves life]

c:\format Voltes:

[b]Parasite
I like it. EC Horror meets Image "Spawn" Comics. Is this a brand new mythology you've created or based on established mythos -- perhaps even Biblical?I have probably seen some some of EC Horror, but the name doesn't really ring much of a bell for me. It's my own little made up mythology, my 2nd Lumiere that I just sent in shall give more insight on the views of Alex after his first week of being with the Parasite. More dialogue, and I basically show how he hunts and kills plus more spite from the parasite. It's not Biblical, but I do incorporate God and Jesus into the story.

Parasite
I loved the voice of this story, the way other people's actions appeared weird and warped through the characters eyes. The way the people acted at the party reminded me of Society, too friendly, too normal. Great pay-off as well. I'm hoping that only he can see the change in himself - but I guess I'll have to wait and see...
Yeah, some of this was from actual things that happened to me. I have met many plastic people in my 14 years of life. Oh...you will see his change, but just keep in mind the Parasite can control his physical movement and vocals, but has no control over his emotions and brain. Or at least thats what I am trying to make him out as...

[Hastur]

After reading all these comments, I'm going to have to come up with some REALLY tough assignments. I mean, since the 500 word story was so easy...... :D

Wickerman: I sent the story for posting without the bio because I figured that getting it up was more important than the bio anyway. It was a good story, and deserved to be read. I'll see what can be done.

BTW all: I think I've sent in the last of the short-shorts, so it's all character for a while. These are taking a smidge longer to hack through, as they are longer, but I will be getting back to each person that submits.

[Rath/Brendan]

Thanks, guys. Your praise means a lot to me.

[WickerMan]

Hastur:
[QB]Wickerman I sent the story for posting without the bio because I figured that getting it up was more important than the bio anyway. It was a good story, and deserved to be read. I'll see what can be done. QB]Thanks Hatur ur a complete star, much appreciated. :)