I miss Bigdog

[Cheese Biscuits]

Once, shills were shills. They were easy to spot. They started threads with titles like, "Scooby Doo rocks, bi-hatch!" and "For shizzle... Vanilla Coke is off da hizzle."

Now, we have shills who are insanely intelligent. They post in all-ready existing threads... they post like regular people. Often, it's difficult to tell if they're shills or if they're for real. But the shills are still out there.

But, once there was Bigdog. Here was a shill to end all shills. Blatant. Obvious. He tried in the beginning to be "hip" and "cool" and try to win us over with typical internet-teenager slang. He soon learned CHUD was smarted than this... but he kept going. He never left. He was persistent. It was painfully obvious he didn't enjoy his job... and part of me felt sorry for him. These were the days when you could mock and insult a shill to death and the shill wouldn't respond. They'd just go with it... trying whatever they could to try and push their product.

Now, shills fight back. They won't go with out a struggle and they will bring the whole world crashing down around them to push their product. Somewhere after Bigdog... the shill upgrade I call "NoFate" was created. A new model. A more effective, more lethal shill.

Here's a toast to the days of Bigdog... when a shill was an easy target and actually fun to have around.

[Sean Bateman]

I have talked to people that work at these marketing firms where they write fake reviews and try to manufacture hype on the internet.

A guide to spotting plant reviews:
-They are usually sent to AICN because these writers ignorantly determine the current opinion of a film by the talkback threads.
-The reviews are designed to sound like a fan boy ramble and intentionally contain odd homophobic remarks and really overly exaggerated reactions.
-The reviews are never completely positive. They usually start liket his. "Poncho 2: The Return was one of the coolest movies I have seen in years. It had a few problems, but who cares when it is this much fun?"
-The ending of the reviews usually contain a paragaph aimed directly at the talkbackers. Let's say that the posters were bitching about the female cast in the lead of Poncho 2. "The biggest surprise was how great Lorna Kyle was in the lead. She was probably my favorite part. Don't get worried, they cast it right."
-They even release reviews around the same time as real test screenings so they webmasters will assume they are genuine.

[Eric Binford]

Mark my word, bigdog will rise again one day.

Just wait till a new Batman/Superman movie is finally made.

They'll bring out the big guns for that one.

[Doug]

Is it just me, or do online shills sound like a waste of money and resources? The purpose of a shill is to sell a film to a demographic that will go see it anyway, no matter how bad it is. Nearly everyone here will see LXG. Most of them on opening weekend!
Hell, Bateman saw "From Justin to Kelly" opening night! And he wasn't the only chewer. Many of us will see ANYTHING with a trailer just to have an excuse to sit in a movie theater.
So why bother with all these elaborate shenanigans?

[Sean Bateman]

BobClark:
Is it just me, or do online shills sound like a waste of money and resources? The purpose of a shill is to sell a film to a demographic that will go see it anyway, no matter how bad it is. Nearly everyone here will see LXG. Most of them on opening weekend!
Hell, Bateman saw "From Justin to Kelly" opening night! And he wasn't the only chewer. Many of us will see ANYTHING with a trailer just to have an excuse to sit in a movie theater.
So why bother with all these elaborate shenanigans?I DID NOT SEE FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY.

[flyarz]

Bateman 4: The Wreck:
BobClark:
Is it just me, or do online shills sound like a waste of money and resources? The purpose of a shill is to sell a film to a demographic that will go see it anyway, no matter how bad it is. Nearly everyone here will see LXG. Most of them on opening weekend!
Hell, Bateman saw "From Justin to Kelly" opening night! And he wasn't the only chewer. Many of us will see ANYTHING with a trailer just to have an excuse to sit in a movie theater.
So why bother with all these elaborate shenanigans?I DID NOT SEE FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY.But you went to see the Warped Tour. EVEN WORSE!

[Doug]

From the post-release FJTK thread-
"A couple of the songs were good, but most of the jokes were tired. Justin was pretty convincing in the first half but after he admits he cheated on her it all seemed forced. I wasn't expecting it to turn into a soap opera. The TV spots sold it like it would be a fun stupid movie, but it gets a little too serious and the cinematography was really bad."
- Sean Bateman
Check out further film analysis here-
<a href="http://chud.com/board/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=010208&p=" target="_blank">http://chud.com/board/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=010208&p=</a>

[Sean Bateman]

flyarz:
But you went to see the Warped Tour. EVEN WORSE!You have a wonderful sense of humor. I wish you the best of luck in life.

Bateman 216:
Spoiler:

Justin's dad told him when he was young to make sure he never let the right girl get away. So for the first half of the movie he seems like he may propose to her, because it's one of those "love at first sight" deals. He picks up an old newspaper and reads the horoscope and it says something along the lines of "be bold" or "take a risk" and he assumed that he should propose to her because of that. Now there is also this running gag about this local kid named ChoCho that smuggles coconuts out of the kitchen of the local restaurant. He grabs two out of the cooler everytime he is in there and stuffs them down his shirt. Justin is waiting in the restaurant for Kelly to show up so he can propose. He orders a drink and accidentally gets an alcoholic drink. The whole movie everyone makes fun of him because he has a low tolerance and when he drinks it he gets flat out durnk. When ChoCho walks out of the kitchen with the coconuts down his shirt, Justin thinks he is Kelly. He then begins to tell him how much he loves him etc. etc. It was actually kind of funny, especially because he played a good drunk. Kelly walks into the restuarant and see Justin hitting on ChoCho then proposing, then she grabs a glass of water of a neighboring table and throws it in his face and yells, "watch out it's a tidal wave!" It was probably the biggest laugh of the movie.What part of that sounds real? I cannot fucking believe that you thought I really saw it. I thought of the stupidest fucking thing I could imagine and posted it and you fell for it.

Bateman 216:
I did not see this film. I hate She's All That. I hate Iscove.

Did that clear it up enough for all of you?I added this in the middle of the thread just to clarify that I had not seen it for those who did not get the joke. You (BobClark) completely missed this post and then posted a little while later in the same thread, completely obvlivious to the fact that I had just admitted it as all a joke.

[MizNomer]

*chortle*

[Andre Dellamorte]

I'm not following, so did you or did you not like From Justin to Kelly?

[Donald Wiskerando]

And before you get pissy, Bateman, you only have yourself to blame for this one.

[Sean Bateman]

Dan Laugharn:
And before you get pissy, Bateman, you only have yourself to blame for this one.Not pissy. Just amazed that no one could tell I was joking.

[Silver Bullet]

I did. Remember your PM?

[Doug]

Bateman 4: The Wreck:
Dan Laugharn:
And before you get pissy, Bateman, you only have yourself to blame for this one.Not pissy. Just amazed that no one could tell I was joking.Sure you were.

[flyarz]

Bateman 4: The Wreck:
Dan Laugharn:
And before you get pissy, Bateman, you only have yourself to blame for this one.Not pissy. Just amazed that no one could tell I was joking.You have a wonderful sense of humor. I wish you the best of luck in life.

[Sean Bateman]

You can't steal my line. Only I am allowed to respond to awful jabs with fortune cookies written by a drunk four year old.

[prala is just for jk]

I miss BigDog like I miss cholera. That said, this thread made me snarf because Sean + FJTK = hilarious fun.