Least Favorite Fanboy Cliche

[Rath/Brendan]

"[blank] raped my childhood."

Seriously. That shit is old.

[Django]

You never hear "Albert Pyun raped my childhood," do you?

People...no, strike that.

GEEKS have far too many expectations over bullshit...

[Boomstick]

While I agree with it, I don't want to hear anymore "Greedo shoots first jokes."

And I'm tired of 'hobbits are gay' jokes.

[grim_fist]

I'm tired of "OMG the specs on that new Criterion made me CUM SO HARD!"

[Charlie Brigden]

Boomstick:
While I agree with it, I don't want to hear anymore "Greedo shoots first jokes."Agreed. That and the ET/walkie-talkie jokes are getting really fucking old.

[Saucy]

"Jebus."

People use this word like it's the Mrs. Dash of the humor world. It isn't. I know this isn't a fanboy-only thing, but it sure seems pretty fucking prevalent in that particular circle of Hell.

[General Zod]

Why don't more people demand blood from Ally Pyun?

Mine is, "_______ has a beer and cheets on his wife."

The article in which it appears is one of the worst pieces of fanboy rantings I have ever seen. Funny as hell, but hard on the eyes. From grammar, spelling, syntax, you name it. Knowles did not write it, some moron submitted it and it became and still is a running gag on the site.

The jokes have served their purpose and need to be stopped. NOW!

[The Copy Guy]

"Greedo shoots first jokes."

What the fuck does that mean,anyway?!
I know it's a Star Wars ref. But shit I hear that stupid line all the time. What are geeks refering too. :mad:

[Gruber]

I don't know if its exactly a cliche, but I'm fucking sick of fanboys being stereotyped as fat, overweight slobs.

[General Zod]

Gruber: The Night Stalker:
I don't know if its exactly a cliche, but I'm fucking sick of fanboys being stereotyped as fat, overweight slobs.Those are only the bad ones.

[Momotaro]

The Copy Guy:
"Greedo shoots first jokes."

What the fuck does that mean,anyway?!
I know it's a Star Wars ref. But shit I hear that stupid line all the time. What are geeks refering too. :mad: You kidding right? You honestly have no idea?

[J Peterson]

Don't forget Star Wars Vs. Star Trek, and its offspring, Star Wars vs. LOTR.

-"Fuck ______, fuck them in their stupid asses"
- any sort of "leet" speak, or is it "1337 $#3@|<"? I don't know and I don't care, and for all of you out there that do it: @#':":.[=>+967&*$0--09 9082385&#$^%0-896*&5986:"][./}{>. Put that in your pipe and suck it dry.

[Ludwig]

Seriously. That shit is old.

That expression in italics is quite grating to me, but unfortuneately it is not limited to the fanboy world.

Best. Thing. Ever.

That. Whole. Trend. Of. Typing. How. The. Comic. Book. Guy. From. The. Simpsons. Speaks. Is. Starting. To. Lose. Its. Luster.

[Angles]

Little Boy Momotaro:
The Copy Guy:
"Greedo shoots first jokes."

What the fuck does that mean,anyway?!
I know it's a Star Wars ref. But shit I hear that stupid line all the time. What are geeks refering too. :mad: You kidding right? You honestly have no idea?I believe it. My brother likes Star Wars (he had to, growing up with me), has seen the movies a bunch of times, and religiously played the RPG. I showed him Dan Whitehead's "Greedo Wedding" poster, and the "shoots first" tagline flew way over his head.

I guess some people just forgot about it after the SE left theaters.....shit, maybe everyone should've.

[ccubed]

The entire “rape” line of quips is pretty worthless. Unless you were penetrated without your written or express consent, then you weren’t raped.

I would say most of these, more often than not, are just used out of laziness and lack of creativity. Gross hyperbole is easier than analytical discourse, and it tends to draw more attention.

However, I do think just about all of these examples can work in context. The problem is that instead of being used as punch lines to well crafted commentaries, they’re the whole of the person’s argument. They become a minor step up from, “That sucked.”

But who am I to say? I ALWAYS think “Jebus” is funny! Anything that reminds me of the Simpsons is gold in my book.

[Andre Dellamorte]

Quoting movies excessively in real life makes me want to punch balls. Specifically (and in this order):

1) Star Wars
2) Kevin Smith
3) Quentin Tarantino

I'm guilty of this (sometimes) as well, but for serious, it's played out.

[Napoleon Rodriguez]

I find your lack of faith disturbing. Don't make me go medieval on your ass. Noonch.

Still, your point is undeniable, and "Fuck (plural blank). Fuck them up their stupid asses." has become particularly overused. Surely we can come up with more flavorful ways to tell people to self-fornicate?

[Sean Bateman]

I completely realize that a lot of people genuinely loved the prequels. I have no beef with them. Although, I am sick of people who defend the films to the death just to convince themselves that they did not get all their hopes and dreams for the films bashed on the rocks. It's okay to admit that Lucas just made some mediocre films.

[M5]

'Beat' Andre Dellamorte:
Quoting movies excessively in real life makes me want to punch balls. Specifically (and in this order):

1) Star Wars
2) Kevin Smith
3) Quentin Tarantino

I'm guilty of this (sometimes) as well, but for serious, it's played out.What about Monty Python? Billy Madison? Happy Gilmore? The Matrix?

I can't tell you how many times I've walked down the hallways of my highschool only to hear:

"NI! NI! HE CALLED THE SHIT POOP! YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN! DODGE THIS!"

And this is all in one sentance.

[Z-Man]

Mike 'Beating Off' Arsenault:
Best. Thing. Ever.

That. Whole. Trend. Of. Typing. How. The. Comic. Book. Guy. From. The. Simpsons. Speaks. Is. Starting. To. Lose. Its. Luster.That never gets old.

[Andre Dellamorte]

Knoxville, that stuff is bad too as Monty Python almost made the cut, but in terms of pure movie fanboys, those would be my three least favorite. It reminds of what a friend said about people who like Jim Jarmusch, as she said that the people who worship JJ rarely have their own taste. One could argue the same for at least 2/3 of mine.

[Mad Man Mundt]

Striding Cloud Django:
You never hear "Albert Pyun raped my childhood," do you?
No but I have heard Albert Fish raped my childhood.

[Andre Dellamorte]

There is a tasteless Roman Polanski joke that's just waiting to be made here.

[Gandalf´s Father]

ILM never wins for best visual effects because the academy hate George Lucas. "Star Wars fanboys"

[Richard Dickson]

Gandalf´s Father:
ILM never wins for best visual effects because the academy hate George Lucas. "Star Wars fanboys"Besides, ILM pretty much owned the award all through the 80s.

[Slater]

Most annoying geek cliche:

I think Harry Knowles has the writing ability of a third-grader and questionable credibility for a lot of his reviews, but the "Harry is fat" posts on that other site make me feel ashamed to be an internet geek.

[Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film]

Knoxville, I'm sure I've said something funnier you could quote...I say 'I'm sure', I'm just hoping really.

My favourite cliche ? When someone says in all honesty and lack of experience:

"Trust me, I really doubt [___insert director's name here___] has what it takes to pull this off"

Arrogance coupled with brazen bollock-brainedness maketh a fuckery, in mine eyes.

[Nelson]

"[ insert director's name here] should direct.

[The13th]

"and Bruce Campbell should play {insert any character here}"

[Rath/Brendan]

hesterthe13th:
"and Bruce Campbell should play {insert any character here}"A-fucking-men.

[Lou Sytsma]

I despise the term Joe Six-Pack to refer to the average consumer. It smacks of elitism.

[Richard Dickson]

Agreed. The average consumer buys twelve-packs these days.

[Carl Cunningham]

"X has not released X title on DVD. Therefore, X must be a greedy asshole."

[Slater]

Sweeping, oversimplified generalizations are annoying. People who use generalizations are stupid.

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

That was ironical.

[Slater]

I was going for satirical, but I'll take what I can get.

More hatred: CHUD is the only message board I've ever seen that's not packed with posters crowing about being "first," as if making the first post in a blank forum is somehow the equivalent of curing a life-threatening disease. I hate first posters.

I also hate people who hate first posters.

[Z-Man]

1. "Star Wars isn't science fiction."
2. "Lord of the Rings is not a trilogy."
3. "It's 'Spider-Man,' not 'Spiderman.'"

All true, I suppose, but it annoys the hell out of when in the midst of an argument over one of these franchises, I'm making some legitimate, logical point and someone comes back at me with this nitpick shit. (also, I seem to remember some argument on the boards where someone said SW isn't scifi, then went on to list Aliens as one of their fav scifi films).

[Cheese Biscuits]

RealUltimatePower... I may love it still... but it's so freakin' old.

However, I still love the Something Awful created "It's a trap!" cliche.

[Kid Ego]

"Natch" or "Nootch" or "Noitch"...

In what context does this word come into play anyway?? Damn stupid if you ask me.

[devincf]

Fanboys in general make me queasy.

[Carl Cunningham]

Believe it or not, they annoy the living hell out of me too. At least the "radical" ones. I can't visit the hardcore fansites (TheForce.Net, et al) without feeling sick to my stomach and shaking my head at the sadness of it all. It really does sap my own personal enjoyment out of things sometimes.

[Andre Dellamorte]

Understandable Carl, it's because they're fetishizing it.

[Carl Cunningham]

Fetishizing, trivializing, over-analyzing, desensitizing, degrading, you name it...

[piranhapictures]

Wouldn't most people posting on a movie message board about stuff like Star Wars and Buffy be considered fanboys though?

[prala is just for jk]

That its not fanPEOPLE

[piranhapictures]

Maybe you shouldn't be insulted. I mean, look at fanboys. Weird.

[Andre Dellamorte]

If this makes any sense, there's a difference between what a normal person would call a fanboy, and what a fan would call a fanboy. A big difference. Where a normal person might consider a grown man having a framed poster of Return of the Jedi fanboyish, said fanboy might find a grown man who has an autographed picture of Sy Snoodles the real fanboy. Or someone who actually talks about how he designed his own Jango Fett costume. Or someone who talks about the effects of carbon scoring. Or someone who writes He Man porn...

[prala is just for jk]

I revel in my fanboyness.

Or girlness

or...something.

[Carl Cunningham]

Dellamorte pretty much nailed it, though it goes a little deeper than that.

[Z-Man]

filmgeek vs. fanboy is the same false dichotomy as punk vs. poseur. Basically, a rabid, irrational fan whose company (or posts) I enjoy is a geek. A rabid, irrational fan who annoys me is a fanboy.

[drjones]

...of course it is stupid to start every post with words like "zombie bruce paltrow" or phrases such as "(...) and with hulk hogan as the baddie".
and maybe it`s because of my really bad english knowledge(i`m from germany...) but i think that sometimes these lines really make me some kind of laugh(it`s a special kind of laugh). not because it was a joke or something like it but because the freakyness going along with such expressions.
well... and naturally it is funny if people have a good sense of humor and use these phrases for some persiflage on these "fanboys" who seem to be serious in their "zombie bruce paltrow" posts.
(hope my post makes some sense..)

[Slater]

Holy shit, are you serious? They're still using "Zombie Bruce Paltrow" over at AICN...? That's just unbelievably funny.

Heh. Go figure that my one lasting contribution to internet geekhood was the result of a $50 bet and the desire to be as obnoxious as possible. I'm fucking immortal now.