CHUD Haiku

[Coyote]

Demonfest abounds
The sweet, sweet sound of chainsaw
The Chin has found work.

What? Greedo shot first?
Biggs Darklighter still left out
Still no DVD

Many new users
When Battlefield Earth hit screens
Scientologists.

Leather costumes suck
Wolverine too tall for part
All bitching in vain.

Nick gets bad hotel
To Live & Die In LA.
Oops. San Diego.

Creature Corner split.
Sci-Fighter going as well.
Eventually. ;}

Much CHUD merchandise
Shirts, coffee mugs, mousey pads
Still want CHUD slippers.

Nick Nunziata
Not the same guy in the film
*A*nunziata.

[Nick Nunziata]

good stuff, my red haired supervillain.

[grendel]

You are the master. I bow.

[Coyote]

Huge Hulking Grendel
Armed, patroling for candy
With small lady-bug

Shelby has not seen
Evil Dead 1, 2, or 3
Is going to rent, now

Can think in haiku
But SciFi Channel ads still
Confuse the hell out of me.

Much debate occurs
over enjoyment level
of Episode One

Won Competition
But Nick has been real busy
Still no DVD http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

Help me, I am stuck
Thinking in five-seven-five
Haikus can get old.

[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 10-25-2000).]

[Nick Nunziata]

Cinemazone owes EVERYONE.

[Coyote]

I'm not complaining
Note the smiley face on it
Just found it funny.

A blink of an eye
And BOOM! There is a new post.
Nick responds damn fast.

The whole point of this
Was to get others to play
Come on, guys. You try.

[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 10-25-2000).]

[Nick Nunziata]

I love these boards.

[Xymog]

The true believers
Worship "The Phantom Menace"
The rest of you suck

(with a bow in generalzod's direction)

[Ludwig]

My ass is on fire
I had burritos for lunch
Please God rescue me

My trip to L.A.
Was filled with whores and sushi
I love Caribou

------------------
Mike Arsenault
"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."

[Innocent X]

Stone Temple Pilots
Caught Them Last Night at Roseland
Weiland wore two wigs

He wore an afro,
A blonde one with fishnet hose
Then he got naked

Best live act is who?
Stone Temple Pilots for sure.
Saw a guy get punched.

[Nick Nunziata]

What was once
A CHUD Haiku
is now a love note

TO DRUG ADDICTS

[Innocent X]

Is not CHUD a drug?
Undeniable, a lust.
And takes away sleep.

[willko]

where is the lovin'?
undead behind the green pipe:
it's the chud sewer.

nick's a feisty guy.
he's like a punch in the nuts,
our fearless leader.

blofeld counts one more,
six-six-six came and went,
armageddon's late.

won't use capitals.
my haikus bite the walrus.
so wrote poor /willko.

[grendel]

Jack-in-the-Box food
breakfast while I read CHUD boards
Ketchup pak fights me

[grendel]

grendel really knows how to kill a thread, no?

[Blofeld]

grendel unfunny
we keep him around for the
excessive post count

[DJEvil]

Woke to wrong number
Fifth time in under a week
Pee then check the boards

Connect a few times
Disconnection unexplained
Virus from porn sites?

Defragment halted
Must Scandisk first, scan complete
Defrag halts again

"You must scandisk first"
Your mother's a whore, laptop
"Are you my daddy?"

[Coyote]

Blofeld holds record
For most CHUD facts being used
Logan just wants one.


Ok, new game. I start, you guys finish:

Babydoll T-Shirts
How many did Nick order?
_____________________


Star Wars DVD
Lucas wants to "get it right"
____________________


CHUD Fact of the day:
_______________________
_________________


Endless bickering:
_______________________
_________________

Staying on topic
______________________
_________________

[DJEvil]

Staying on topic
Is important for a few
But Spidey will rock

[BlackCrowe]

Star Wars DVD
Lucas wants to "get it right"
Makes us wait too long

[grendel]

Babydoll T-Shirts
How many did Nick order?
One for him, that's all.

[grendel]

CHUD Fact of the day:
It will not belong to me
Nor Logan either

[willko]

endless bickering:
"fuck lucas and the matrix!"
flames will multiply.

despite shoe-size posts:
when it comes right down to it,
micah's is biggest.

<shudder>,
/willko.

[Abobo, Sniffer of Salts]

I will crush those twins,
Heads exploding like melons
Double Dragons die

http://www.klov.com/images/D/mDouble_Dragon.jpg

------------------
I will beat you into a thin red spray...

[The Bowler]

Near midnight at CHUD
Who is lurking in shadows?
I don't want to know

Dungeons & Dragons
The sky abounds with dragons
But where is dungeon?

And small unicorn?
she sounded more like a sheep
Uni, I'll miss her

Bruce Campbell, the King
"Give me some sugar, baby"
Nick got to meet him

Coyote's haikus
five-seven-five, so calming
I can't stop it now

The darkness falls down
As always, night comes to CHUD
But shadows still smirk

[DJEvil]

"Fatal Error" Why?
Does that mean someone DIED? Who?
My f*cking laptop.

Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn
Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes
Corn Flakes, Corn Flakes, Corn

I want to beat a
Zombie down with a tree branch
Just to mess with them

[flint]

This topic burns now
Like a beacon of knowledge
But we are still dumb

[highdive]

My second CHUD post:
Should start my film paper but
CHUD is too much fun

[Coyote]

New posters show up
Met welcoming comittee
And they stayed?! Twisted.

Oh, and hey-Bowler?
The dungeons in the preview
The spinny thing lies.

[General Logan]

Just one post away
The great millenial mark
Am I so shameless?

------------------
You have drained me by speaking.

[Eddie5]

Yes, you are
but it is due
to this very fact
we love you and of course
strangling is nice too

[Coyote]

My meter's off today
All have too many syllables
At least my speeling's good.

[Jason Pollock]

In the land of CHUD
Hot Animal Machine is
hated quite often

Luckily, Django
is there to take the heat off
He makes me look good

Why don't they like HAM?
They don't like to hear the truth
Must learn to lie well

Never lie to you
The "Three I's" are all I know
But you don't get it

I like all of you
Except for General Zod
I don't like to kneel

Intensity is outlawed
Still I try to make a point
Try to be funny

And though I can fight
I would much rather recite
That's Entertainment




[This message has been edited by Hot Animal Machine (edited 10-30-2000).]

[Jason Pollock]

Nick is a good egg
He made CHUD a place to learn
and a place to play

There are good guys here
CHUD is the cool place to be
Not with Harry Knowles

Sewer Chewers rule
Always know that they will say
some demented shit

Some sewer Chewers stay
Long enough to be legends
They can never die

I miss Blofeld, Matt
you used to be here a lot
Did you go away?

Met Johnny Butane
face to face in Chicago
He is now my friend

I will help him when
Creature Corner comes again
I won't tell his name

People are friends here
Lowshot, grendel, Eddie5
Working on my script

OKAY, my brain is falling apart...

[Blofeld]

Never fear, Jason,
It's simply hard to speak with
Uncle Mitch in mouth

[Coyote]

No more haiku, now
My brain is falling apart
Can't seem to finish.

[Eddie5]

I tried to make the words
But they refused to obey
Even now they run away
From my intense Haiku grip

[Will]

An exotic haiku,
simple, yet true
to find the one
which rhymes
with the word, Timbuktu.

Me and Tim
a camping we went
we spied three madiens
in a tent

Since they were three
and we were two
I bucked one
and Tim, bucked two.

[This message has been edited by Will (edited 11-11-2000).]

[General Logan]

Five beats appear first
Seven syllables come next
Then follows five more

A Haiku can rhyme?
No, not even once young Will
Yes, I correct you!


------------------
You have drained me by speaking.

[Blofeld]

Playground in ether
Great fun with zeroes and ones
CHUD is my relief

[highdive]

Happy Halloween
Trick or treating is much fun
Time for sugar high

[BlackCrowe]

hey look, a lurker!
why did he stop in today?
must think we have food.

[highdive]

Change that "he" to "she"
Representing for the girls
Nice to meet you all! http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

[Blofeld]

Look all, it's Timmy!
Must be home from school with flu.
Plays well with others.

[BlackCrowe]

ALL girls are "timmy"
until proven otherwise
just ask girl creeture!

[Will]

-------
The wind blows the memory
of summer towards the sun
The laughter is fading
Winter is here.

The rain falls gently
the sword still
does not cut
Life like a butterfly
is now gone.
----------------
Now there is a haiku
for which I don't mean to bother
but I'm starting to think
Logan might be django's real father
he's bound to correct it
and we all know its true,
Sometimes he's a bastard
sometimes he's a shrew
sometimes he deserves a
great big fuckU.

I knew you'd correct it too. How about the above one? Is it Okay?

[Will]

Hi Timmy!

[highdive]

"Timmy"? What the hell?
What are you talking about?
Elaborate please.

------------------
YYYYIIAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Patricia Arquette, in True Romance.

[willko]

on the internet,
all girls are men named timmy,
and lust for butane.

search the message boards
for some topics containing
the keyword "timmy".

welcome, new chewer.
a female (supposedly)!
now a chewer-ette? http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/smile.gif

/willko.

[Coyote]

Made for a woman.
Yet strong enough for a man.
Oops! The secret's out.

[Will]

"Made for a woman.
Yet strong enough for a man." But you'd better watch out for grendel cause he's after your gland.
Oops! The secret's out."

[Seahawk]

I am now on the floor, laughing like nuts

Chud Poetry Corner?

"Mommy..look a poetry place..whats this word..f...u...c...*"

toodles

[girlcreeture]

The Timmy factor
It's a term of endearment
Sorry! I have tits

http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

[willko]

nick sells baby-dolls,
chewers must have tits, you see?
else they're crossdressers.

haiku section flames,
i thought this thread would die fast,
but we keep counting.

forty thousand posts,
the chud sewer mutates on.
soon all will bow down.

chin versus lambert...
why is there any conflict?
there is no contest.

hail to the king, baby,
/willko.

[Will]

Hey thanks wilko, but I am not REALLY a King, the ladies all just call me that.

[Jason Pollock]

The conflict must end
Christophe and The Chin should do
a buddy cop flick

Claymores and chainsaws
"Army" had Scottish Deadites
So that works out fine

Campbell and Lambert
These men should rule as brothers
'cause they are both cool

[Coyote]

Trying to picture, now
Those two actors side by side
ACK! My head implodes.

[WacoKid]

Oh Bible Thumpers
Would that HAM had designed you
You'd be done by now

[Nick Nunziata]

Lambert is a hack
Please let the Canaru crawl
Up his urethra

[Coyote]

Damn! Dumb man got bit
Sumarian rat monkey
Fire up lawn mower.

Most memorable quote?
"Your mother ate my dog!" or
"Kick ass for the lord?"

Once had a friend who
Misheard the above quote as
"Kiss ass for the Lord!"

[Coyote]

Damn! Been bumped again.
Stuck in DFW
Flying standby sucks.

DDhelp errors
have renamed the new machine
Big, beige paperweight

Took four day weekend
To relax & set up box.
But am more stressed out.

If you need me, I'll
be gibbering in corner
Waiting Hastur's flight.

[BlackCrowe]

Still stuck in Dallas.
At least the rain has stopped now
Hastur will get home

[Coyote]

T & M in tree
ef you sea kay I ehn gee.
Jack writing haiku.

Tyler Durden says
Sticking feathers up your butt
does not make chicken

Penguin in my cave
Lose everything:Gain Freedom.
Insomnia sucks.

First rule of Fight Club
Do not talk about Fight Club
Use plenty of soap.

[highdive]

Snowy snowy snow
Fluffy precipitation
Why won't it snow here?

**************************

Bored out of my mind
I hate SOCIOLOGY
why do i come here...

...every time I
get bored writing a paper?
BECAUSE CHUD IS FUN!!!!

------------------
YYYYIIAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Patricia Arquette, in True Romance.

[Will]

Sounds like you've taken a highdive on the current state of your life. Lighten up. The boards are FUN. You found your way here didn't you? Many would envy you that feat, if they only knew. You are truely one of the lucky few. You have the always humorus Will. The always downbeat Coyote, the finder of the bizzare, Ms Shelby, lowshot's enternal enthusiasm, Ludwig's tales of animal husbandry, kronos wit, Eddie5's 5th of dringking fun, dajango dancing in his underwear, DB Cooper's daily improving sanity, General Logan to teach you (whether or not you want him to) Blofeld and son give tours of the great Northwest. What more could any girl student want? .............. Okay, you're right, so you do have a reason to be bored.

[Coyote]

In Hitchhiker's Guide
Thought I was more like Eddie
I'm more like Marvin?!?!?

[highdive]

I'M NOW A BADASS
SEWER CHEWER, WOO HOO, YEAHHH!!!!
Okay, back to work.

------------------
YYYYIIAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Patricia Arquette, in True Romance.

[Diva]

I suck at haikus
Someone please help me
I suck at haikus

[Sister Gracie Lou]

Chewers write haiku,
Gracie sprays o.j. through nose.
Back to the sex forum.

[Sly McFly]

this is an old thread
how the hell did you find it
amazing search skills

[El Gray]

Staying home tonight
Rocky is on TCM
Raging Bull is next

Brunch with the Chewers
turns into Buffy debate
and talk of cheese love

[Deacon]

Can you count suckas?
Six Warriors with a girl
Make it to Coney

Got The Thing today
Kurt Russell is a badass
Childs was Goliath

[Aghora Eats Kittens]

And now a Showgirls Haiku:

Naked ladies dance
Naked ladies dance some more
Naked ladies dance

[Capt. Eucalyptus]

It's not that work sucks.
It's that Chud rocks my world.
OK work does suck

Lots of geeks role play
Be one of them in the threads
In our our own forum

Chicago was great
Katherine and Renee kick butt.
Richard wasn't bad.

[Coyote]

This brings back mem'ries
Of calmer times on the boards
Thank you, Gracie Lou

[Coyote]

Stumbled across more of this while looking for one of my stories that fell off the "Also by" list:
<a href="http://chud.com/board/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=67&t=000069&p=" target="_blank">http://chud.com/board/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=67&t=000069&p=</a>

[Aghora Eats Kittens]

Ex-girlfriend problems?
Why not say it with flowers -
Send her a triffid.

[Alan "Nordling" Cerny]

No more CHUD for me.
I am leaving forever.
Wow, Devin said that?

[Coyote]

Aghora: Insert Clever Tagline Here:
Ex-girlfriend problems?
Why not say it with flowers -
Send her a triffid.*falls out of chair, stunned*

Post of the day wink

[Aghora Eats Kittens]

Coyote Happy
Aghora is warm inside
Movie geeks...Unite!