Hey UK: The Revenge [Archive]

Alice in Wonderland

10-22-2003, 05:41 AM

Icy. Didn't a sleep a wink with it the night before last - I kept waking up.

And my car wouldn't start and was covered in ice. This necessitated the purchase of a squeegee and a chamois leather - of course now I own these things, it wasn't icy this morning. Bah.

Dan Whitehead

10-22-2003, 05:47 AM

Southern nancies. This is warm by Northern standards.

Me off to hunt in woods now. Bring meat back to cave. Me strong, like bull.

Charlie Brigden

10-22-2003, 05:49 AM

Alice Should've Been Black Mamba:
squeegeeThat word always reminds me of Bill Hicks... squeegeeing his third eye and all that...

Dan Whitehead

10-22-2003, 05:52 AM

I prefer "chamois". Sounds like it should be French for "tiny lace undergarment", not "flabby rag for cleaning windscreen".

Alice in Wonderland

10-22-2003, 05:58 AM

I think "chamois" and "squeegee" are super words.

It was almost worth buying them just to get to say them. Indeed, saying their names is the only practical use I've had out of them so far.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-22-2003, 06:03 AM

But just think of all the shrapnel/change you can now make at traffic lights, Alice...

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-22-2003, 06:05 AM

Oh, and I'm fair-to-middling in an oh so very british "alright I s'pose" frame of mind.

Haven't seen enough cans recently. Weather's quite bracing actually, all dramatic n' shit.

Alice in Wonderland

10-22-2003, 06:07 AM

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film:
But just think of all the shrapnel/change you can now make at traffic lights, Alice...Indeed - in between being sucker-punched by furious motorists...

Actually, someone attempted to squeegee and chamois my chariot in Manchester (I'd never seen people doing that before in Manchester, it must be a new thing) and I was fairly new at driving and nearly accidentally ran over them.

This put them off, somewhat.

Charlie Brigden

10-22-2003, 06:12 AM

There seems to be a dearth of cans here at the moment too.

Dan Whitehead

10-22-2003, 06:15 AM

Is "cans" the new slang for "Bill Duke movies"? Because if so, I concur.

Blunt

10-22-2003, 06:24 AM

Dan Whitehead:
I prefer "chamois". Sounds like it should be French for "tiny lace undergarment", not "flabby rag for cleaning windscreen".Too bad it's only French for "stinky goat-like mountain animal" then.

Dan Whitehead

10-22-2003, 06:37 AM

I thought that was "depardieu".

Blunt

10-22-2003, 06:52 AM

Well, that's the alternate word.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-22-2003, 07:34 AM

Not Bill Duke movies, Bo Duke movies. John "Smallville" Schneider's not been in anything meaningful on the big screen since Snow Day and it incurs my wrath.

James

10-22-2003, 03:07 PM

But just think of all the shrapnel/change you can now make at traffic lights, Alice...Funnily enough, here in sunny old Cardiff there seems to be a turf war of sorts between the Pikeys and Romanians over who gets to clean your windscreen.

BTW - Hello all Uk chewers!

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 06:16 AM

Greetings, Venkman!

I just thought I'd randomly throw some Bill Duke quotes into the mix:

'You're ghostin' us, motherfucker.'

'I'll bleed ya, real quiet.'

'You scared motherfucker? Well you should be because this green beret is going to kick your ass. '

'Fuck you asshole.'

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 06:47 AM

Um, if I say, "I have no idea who you're talking about." will you guys all pile on top of me and beat the crap out of me?

Your response has a direct bearing on whether or not I decide to ask who this guy is.

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 06:49 AM

We may flick chewed-up bits of paper at you. And possibly hide your pencil case in Spacky Tim's schoolbag, and make you kiss him to get it back.

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 06:51 AM

And tell the teacher we saw you smoking on the bottom fields.

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 06:58 AM

I hate you guys. You're such mongs.

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 07:01 AM

You're just saying that because you saw me getting off with Sally Barnes at the school disco.

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 07:04 AM

Sally Barnes is a slag and the school bicycle.

And she copied my make-up that night from the disco at the youth club last week.

So nyeah, you divvy!

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 07:07 AM

<img src="http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/620000/images/_622260_roland.gif" alt="" />

That's you, that is.

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 07:12 AM

No, that's *you*.

Actually, that's not you, that's your *boyfriend*, who you snogged last night.

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 07:13 AM

You shouldn't talk about Giles when he's not here to defend himself.

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 07:16 AM

Here's your bestest boyfriend <a href="http://www.brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/images/timmysessionsept20021a.jpg" target="_blank">here</a>. You did it with him, behind the back of the Spar. And everyone knows you did, because he got Daz to sniff his fingers afterwards and he said they smelled of SEX.

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 07:24 AM

No, *you* did it with him behind the Spar. And everybody knows you did because you're the biggest puff on CHUD.

And then you did it with Daz the Spaz, who's a virgin and wouldn't know what sex smelled like.

You're disgusting. And a menk.

And your Mum got caught robbing vodka out of that Spar, anyway. That's what Tez Murphy said.

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 07:31 AM

*sniff*

I'm telling.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-23-2003, 07:47 AM

Who guffed ?

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 07:52 AM

In other news, I'm definitely down London way next Tuesday night, if anyone fancies doing some kind of food/movie/booze combination.

As a sweetener, I'll bring cans of Quatro, a Wham bar and a mucky mag that I found in a hedge at the park. You get to see everything.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-23-2003, 08:01 AM

shaven havens n that ?

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 08:08 AM

Probably Escort. The working-class man's choice.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-23-2003, 08:11 AM

With no cover.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I'm in London Tuesday and am available for un-gay manly business.

Charlie Brigden

10-23-2003, 08:13 AM

So you're both going to sit down with some Babycham and watch Joan Crawford movies?

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 08:14 AM

I'm free on Tuesday - the 28th mind, not the next one which I'll be spending in Scotland where I expect it to be even fucking colder than it is here, and I'm paid, so yay!

What film do folks fancy?

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 09:14 AM

Charles B:
So you're both going to sit down with some Babycham and watch Joan Crawford movies?Followed by dirty bumsex. What could be more manly?

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 09:23 AM

Alice Should've Been Black Mamba:
I'm free on Tuesday - the 28th mind, not the next one which I'll be spending in Scotland where I expect it to be even fucking colder than it is here, and I'm paid, so yay!

What film do folks fancy?I think a more pertinent question should be: where do we do dis thing? I'm staying near Earls Court (lucky me) so I'll defer to London folk as to the best location for decent scran and drink, with a decent cinema being a bonus.

Although I quite fancy the new Texas Chainsaw. It'll have to be something my wife doesn't want to see, or I'll be in trouble.

Alice in Wonderland

10-23-2003, 10:24 AM

Earl's Court - ah! The wonder that is the Piccadilly line!

Scran might be nice. Providing it is nice scran. And they give you booze, too.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-23-2003, 11:56 AM

Is TCM out tomorrow. That would be swell. Failing that, Intolerable Crulety's out or Raising Arizona is playing at the Prince Charles in L Sq @ 6.30pm.

Dan Whitehead

10-23-2003, 12:17 PM

Intolerable Cruelty is excellent. Saw it at one of those advance previews last weekend. I could certainly stand to see it again, although I'd also hate to pass up what could be my only chance to see TCM, given that the chances of seeing that with the lady wife are less than zero.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-23-2003, 12:29 PM

Cockbucket.

TCM is only on Saturday previews this week.

Charlie Brigden

10-28-2003, 09:54 AM

So... how is everyone today?

Alice in Wonderland

10-28-2003, 10:00 AM

Today, I'm a slightly vacant ongoing adventure bound by a smoky filigree of angst and paranoia, thank you.

So, how the hell are you?

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-28-2003, 10:15 AM

Filigree is word of the day. It was almost hullaballoo. But sadly, that word is bridesmaid today.

Sucker.

Charlie Brigden

10-28-2003, 10:18 AM

Eh, not bad. I finished the ROTK game this morning, so that was cool.

Alice in Wonderland

10-28-2003, 11:24 AM

I have love for hullaballoo, more so if I could actually spell it.

So, ROTK game - any good? Bearing in mind I was kind of "meh" about TTT.

Can I be a hobbit in it? Or Gandalf?

Charlie Brigden

10-28-2003, 11:28 AM

It's good, man. Real good. You can be Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Sam, Frodo, and a couple of others I haven't unlocked yet. But it's good stuff.

Alice in Wonderland

10-28-2003, 11:31 AM

I can be SAM?! Oh, glory and trumpets! Do I get to do the whole Cirith Ungol thing?

Charlie Brigden

10-28-2003, 11:33 AM

Oh yes. And you get to meet Her Majesty. And her brood.

Alice in Wonderland

10-28-2003, 11:41 AM

That's so cool, in a fundamentally geektastic way.

When's that coming out? I need to start saving my spends up.

Charlie Brigden

10-28-2003, 11:59 AM

Nov 14th, dudette.

Start saving those pennies.

Alice in Wonderland

10-29-2003, 05:58 AM

Ummgh...

Very hungover, yes - not good. Hello to the attendees of last night's Gathering. Waves to Strax, Dan, Jen, and Dan's mate Adam, who probably isn't reading this.

Was I shrieking like a drunken cackling harpy last night? Because my throat was very sore this morning. What do they say about mixing your drinks - I must have been mixing mine like a mad scientist, presumably while laughing maniacally. I even think I drank some beer. Jesus. In fact, I fell asleep on the train on the way home and had to be prodded awake by a BR employee. Good thing the train stopped at Guildford, or else I would have been carried off to who knows where. Woke up in Oz, or Portsmouth, or something.

Kudos to Strax and the choice of steakhouse, though - that was fucking delicious scran. I thought that as I lay curled fetally on the bathroom floor last night. A damn fine rack of ribs coated in lip-smacking sauce.

Straxboy - An Anthony Hickox Film

10-29-2003, 06:17 AM

Meat: Mighty bloody. Mighty fine. Meat !

Cider, beer, cocktails: you imbibing she-beast.

And some other news from the evening - Dan: on good, acerbically loquacious form as ever. Jen: demur and well behaved (as ever?). Adam: wondered what the hell he'd wandered into as he lives in the "real world" though somewhat amusingly tried to drown Jen in warm hop-based brew. Me: rocking with The Darkness all the way home.

Charlie Brigden

10-29-2003, 06:23 AM

I spent my evening in the company of Peter Kay, Dave Spikey and co.

Yes... I sat at home and watched the entire first series of Phoenix Nights.

WickerMan

10-29-2003, 10:52 AM

Charles B:
I spent my evening in the company of Peter Kay, Dave Spikey and co.

Yes... I sat at home and watched the entire first series of Phoenix Nights.And i spent my time in a selfmade moistness as i watched 'Kill Bill' for the first time.
I seemed to finish the film with four spare seats each side though, which was odd.