Sex in the Morning: Who's a Fan? [Archive]

Poxy Von Sinister

12-17-2001, 01:10 AM

Originally posted by Deadtony:
I've gotten head in the morning if that counts.
Used to be a gymnast, huh? http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

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Sempre viaoloso. Sempre nefasto. (http://www.sci-fighter.com/)

Diva

12-17-2001, 01:34 AM

Sex in the morning is great for one reason and one reason only -- Morning Wood!

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

Mazian

12-17-2001, 01:38 AM

Hey, hey Diva - sometimes the thought of nookie first thing is the reason for morning wood.

The only problem with a wake-up shag is you and your partner need to be careful about breathing - nothing sends desire right into the shitter like morning breath.

But aside from that, a quick boot-knockin' is a fine way to begin the day.

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Doing stuff is overrated; Hitler did lots of stuff, and I bet everybody wishes he'd just sat at home getting stoned.

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 01:44 AM

I like night or when it's raining the best. There's the mood all in place. You can open the windows and have the crickets as a backdrop or a cool breeze blowing in. Plus, having a candle lit is much more effective at night than at day I've learned.

When it's pouring outside, there's no better remedy.

Morning's fine too, it's just usually out of convinience though. Breath, hair all slobbed, and of course...

The phone always seems to ring or the dogs decide they have to go out IMMEDIATELY or it'd just ruin their whole day.

As long as it's with the right person, sex is good anytime.

[This message has been edited by Nick Nunziata (edited 12-17-2001).]

Mazian

12-17-2001, 01:50 AM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:

As long as it's with the right person, sex is good anytime.

It can be highly enjoyable with the wrong person as well - only sometimes though. http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/biggrin.gif

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 01:52 AM

Well, to me it's just time spent that should have been spent with the right person.

I consider infidelity only slightly better than murder.

Micah Robinson

12-17-2001, 02:35 AM

Morning sex is perfect because:

* You're both fully rested.
* Men are almost always erect then with no effort needed.
* You're both already in bed.

The breath thing is quite dealable. Simply keep a pack of Eclipse Polar Ice by the bed and take two pieces each - one for each side of your tongue/mouth.

Of course, the time of day isn't as important as the conditions and your respective moods.

brittlebones

12-17-2001, 03:06 AM

Absolutely fantastic. I love the way she looks in the morning. Messy hair, comfortable clothes, no make-up (providing she wears make-up in the first place). Just natural beauty. Plus it makes the whole day better.

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...and you broke me like the cigarette that I busted on the day I quit...
...but now that I've been drinking, I'm outta smokes and I wish that I had it...

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 10:24 AM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
I like night or when it's raining the best. There's the mood all in place. You can open the windows and have the crickets as a backdrop or a cool breeze blowing in. Plus, having a candle lit is much more effective at night than at day I've learned.

Romeo.

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 10:26 AM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
As long as it's with the right person, sex is good anytime.

Originally posted by mikah912:
Of course, the time of day isn't as important as the conditions and your respective moods.

Are you two reading the same sensitivity book or something?

Fags.

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 11:08 AM

Fags with women that love us.

Loner.

SwampThing

12-17-2001, 11:10 AM

It's better than a cup of coffee. Nothing else can quite start you off on the right track. I just have to say BEWARE!! There are consequences to such action. I'm going to meet mine in 3 months http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 11:11 AM

There's your name...

Consequence Nichols.

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
Loner.

That's me, the guy on his horse.

You guys just get so serious sometimes about stuff like this. It's about morning sex for chrissakes.

I do like the rain thing though, that's cool shit.

[This message has been edited by Kirby Drummond (edited 12-17-2001).]

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 11:22 AM

Oooo, Swamp. It is tough to roll that condom on in the morning. Takes away from the spontaneity.

Diva

12-17-2001, 11:59 AM

Originally posted by mikah912:
Morning sex is perfect because:

* You're both fully rested.
* Men are almost always erect then with no effort needed.
* You're both already in bed.

Damn straight!

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 12:14 PM

That's a lame excuse, because really...

How much work does it take the gal to jumpstart the frightning rod? 2, maybe 3 seconds?

Blofeld

12-17-2001, 12:32 PM

Morning sex is perfect because:

1) You've had the opportunity to clear the room of the women from the night before.

Diva

12-17-2001, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
That's a lame excuse, because really...

How much work does it take the gal to jumpstart the frightning rod? 2, maybe 3 seconds?

Morning Wood is always stiffer than usual and stays harder longer. I don't know why, but that has been my experience.

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

[This message has been edited by Diva (edited 12-17-2001).]

brittlebones

12-17-2001, 01:26 PM

....and it makes it a damn pain in the ass to take that morning piss sometimes.

SwampThing

12-17-2001, 01:39 PM

Kirby,
Why would you put on a condom when you are trying to get your wife pregnant? The consequences thing was an attempt at humor.

Name is gonna be Jacob Todd Nichols. Call'em Jake.
That was the name of the first Nichols born in America, which is appropriate at such a patriotic time.

devilf

12-17-2001, 01:42 PM

There are a couple of things in this thread that made me hoot with laughter. Oh life!

Note: Not SwampThings post above.

SwampThing

12-17-2001, 01:42 PM

Brianis,
You need to learn to do a handstand over the toilet my friend.

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 02:39 PM

Oh, I thought you stuck it in one morning Swamp with the old Sans Condom and you're awaiting the aftermath.

SwampThing

12-17-2001, 02:57 PM

I AM awaiting the aftermath!! I was like Homer Simpson...I remember the day of the big race. I've got swimmers!

Micah Robinson

12-17-2001, 04:32 PM

Originally posted by Kirby Drummond:
You guys just get so serious sometimes about stuff like this. It's about morning sex for chrissakes.

When you've made a physical and emotional committment to a woman for YEARS, it's a little more than that. Maybe one day you'll find out for yourself.

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 04:52 PM

My ass was in love once. Can't say I liked much: lots of bugs and too dangerous. As it happens, my present duties keep me where I belong: in the rear with the gear.

Diva

12-17-2001, 05:05 PM

Originally posted by Kirby Drummond:
My ass was in love once. Can't say I liked much: lots of bugs and too dangerous. As it happens, my present duties keep me where I belong: in the rear with the gear.

Whoa! There's way to much talk about rear ends. Not a fan of the ladies, are you Kirby? http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

Kirby Drummond

12-17-2001, 05:09 PM

Ladies?

No.

Women?

No.

Girls?

Yes.

imported_Adam Warren

12-17-2001, 05:11 PM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
I consider infidelity only slightly better than murder.

You should try both at the same time!

Deadtony

12-17-2001, 05:44 PM

I'm willing to be made a fan of sex in the morning with a little help.

Anybody wanna volunteer?

Nick Nunziata

12-17-2001, 05:45 PM

Randall "Tex" Cobb awaits.

Deadtony

12-17-2001, 05:46 PM

Yes.

Jherek

12-17-2001, 05:56 PM

Not a whole lot can beat morning sex. I miss it so. It's usually a whole lot better than drunken sex.

Micah Robinson

12-17-2001, 07:21 PM

Mazian

12-17-2001, 10:00 PM

Originally posted by Nick Nunziata:
Well, to me it's just time spent that should have been spent with the right person.

I consider infidelity only slightly better than murder.

I wasn't suggesting infidelity - I broke myself of that habit several years ago;

No, I was just thinking of some of the women I've *ahem* met - "God, she's stupid - but she's also good looking and interested."

Let's just say in cases of the moral and ethical high ground vs immoral monkey sex, the devil on the shoulder had quite the winning streak going for a while.

Diva

12-18-2001, 05:39 PM

Originally posted by Jherek:
It's usually a whole lot better than drunken sex.

Isn't that a oxymoron? I can't think of a more suitable antithesis of Morning Wood than Drunken Wood. http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

Mazian

12-18-2001, 07:28 PM

Originally posted by Diva:
Isn't that a oxymoron? I can't think of a more suitable antithesis of Morning Wood than Drunken Wood.

You've been dating the wrong guys Diva; certainly, over-imbibing may result in Whiskey Dick (aka Drunken Wood, apparently), but in some cases where I have consumed large quantities, I reach "Rock Star Hard-on" status, where my stamina is ridiculous (in the good way - >1 hr at times, NOT INCLUDING foreplay), to the point where I'VE faked the orgasm.

Unfortunately, I don't have the magic BAC for this, so proceed at your own risk.

Jherek

12-18-2001, 07:47 PM

There's a fine line between the proper amount of alcohol to achieve mega-wood and whiskey dick. I have yet to determine where exactly that line lies, but drunken mega-wood is not always a good thing. Certainly preferable to the aforementioned whiskey dick, but morning wood beats all.

DJ Dylan

12-18-2001, 09:09 PM

I wouldnt care what time Id have sex. Sex is sex, no matter when it occurs.

flyers130

12-19-2001, 02:38 AM

This is one hell of an amusing thread.

Probably because I'm a virgin.

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*fist pump* (http://film.fanhosts.com/)

Seahawk

12-19-2001, 04:33 AM

Originally posted by flyers130:
This is one hell of an amusing thread.

Probably because I'm a virgin.

Same here. But this is good to know. You've got no idea the notes I get from CHUD about my future relationships.

<continues taking notes>

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"Please Standby..."

Post Alley, A place to be (http://www.fortunecity.com/tattooine/jabba/8)

Eyeball Kid

12-19-2001, 08:53 PM

Everyone seems to be avoiding the obvious solution to the morning breath problem. It even makes morning sex better than it already is.

Not possible, you say?

It's really an elegant solution. You know it, you love it, SHE loves it:

Hit it doggystyle.

Diva

12-20-2001, 12:02 PM

True that. However I would say that since most people are probably already in the position, spooning is the most ideal.

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Chicago? It's a nice place. Now get in the fuckin' house.

Mad_Man_Mundt

12-20-2001, 08:52 PM

A little cocaine is good for the hard-on, too. Personally I love getting awakened with a morning BJ. I remember waking up one morning at my girlfriend's with outrageous morning missle and having to piss like a stallion. I couldn't bend it enough to hit the toilet so I had to piss in the tub. She caught me and was irate. I had to explain to her the intracacies of morning wood. This was when I was about 18 so she hadn't recieved the education as of yet.

Jherek

12-20-2001, 09:12 PM

you ever see Me, Myself, and Irene? You know that seen where Carey is pissing just about everywhere and he asks why he's pissing like he had sex all night? My mom asked me if that was because he had wood. I didn't know what to say except yah. I really didn't want to tell her that it was prolly cause there was still some cum that dried on the tip and just inside his dick.

DJ Dylan

12-20-2001, 10:53 PM

Originally posted by Blofeld:
Morning sex is perfect because:

1) You've had the opportunity to clear the room of the women from the night before.

That is my favorite post in this thread.

Akira

12-21-2001, 01:00 PM

Seahawk, maybe you should consider putting that pad of paper down. We Chuddites may not be the most reliable spurce of info.

Bluntmatt

12-23-2001, 01:23 PM

Damn funny thread.

Also taking notes.

flyers130

12-23-2001, 01:57 PM

Notes? Is there going to be a quiz?!?

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*fist pump* (http://film.fanhosts.com/)

Diva

08-13-2002, 12:01 AM

This thread is absolutely hysterical.

Avalon

08-13-2002, 06:37 AM

Nick Nunziata:
I like night or when it's raining the best. There's the mood all in place. You can open the windows and have the crickets as a backdrop or a cool breeze blowing in. Plus, having a candle lit is much more effective at night than at day I've learned.

When it's pouring outside, there's no better remedy.

Morning's fine too, it's just usually out of convinience though. Breath, hair all slobbed, and of course...

The phone always seems to ring or the dogs decide they have to go out IMMEDIATELY or it'd just ruin their whole day.

As long as it's with the right person, sex is good anytime.

[This message has been edited by Nick Nunziata (edited 12-17-2001).]Nick, your post reminded me of the song "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Crofts. In a good way, mind you.

I'm a fan of morning sex. You are just waking up after a restful sleep so you are both relaxed and comfortable. Your lover is right beside you and the house is still. Streams of sunlight peeking through the window with the birds chirping and the touch of warm skin and a sleepy hello as his smile widens. Ahhhhhh...

I've always enjoyed making love when it is raining outside. Actually, its the first thing that comes to mind when a spring shower is on its way. I have never made love IN the rain, but have longed for it. I will. Before I die, I will.

Assbag

08-14-2002, 01:33 AM

Not to piss in your sink, but shouldn't this shit be in the sex forum? Or perhaps the shamefully sad self-service forum?

Momotaro

08-14-2002, 02:15 AM

Nah, the best is that 4 AM piss, and then you come back and the little lady is all sleeping, and grasping at the covers because you moved away. That's when you hit it like it ain't no thang.

That's my street talk. I picked it up in the Ebonics forum.

Jherek

08-14-2002, 03:37 AM

Jherek:
you ever see Me, Myself, and Irene? You know that seen where Carey is pissing just about everywhere and he asks why he's pissing like he had sex all night? My mom asked me if that was because he had wood. I didn't know what to say except yah. I really didn't want to tell her that it was prolly cause there was still some cum that dried on the tip and just inside his dick.This is all I have to say. Any board where a man feels free to say this has to be good.