Who's not going to CHUDWEST?

[Tony Ryan]

Me.

[Rath/Brendan]

Me.

But if it ever gets off the ground, I will be in attendence at the far more horrifying CHUDEast.

[Django]

I have it on rather good authority that the following people shall not be attending CHUDWest...

- Scott Stapp
- John "Bringin' The" Force
- Dame Judi Dench
- Ruth "Get The Party Started" Buzzi
- Mary Lou Mahoney
- Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem
- Billy Katt
- The Real Don Steele
- Roger Smith
- Hobie from Baywatch
- Pedro Garcia
- Gary Coleman
- Fernando Valunzella
- Jane Valez Mitchell

More to come as they come in...

[Kronos]

I'm gonna see John Force in two weeks...I'll ask.

[Kid Ego]

Ron Jeremy probably won't be there....

...unless....Blofeld?

[MADMAN]

Perhaps it would make for a shorter list to name who will be in attendance. I have a post-it.

[Richard Dickson]

No Ruth Buzzi?

*rips up plane ticket, re-sends e-mail petition for Lost Saucer boxed set*

[gravedigger]

Hobie isn't going to be there?! Fuck that shit. You can forget about me showing up, too.

[gravedigger]

I take that back. Which Hobie is not going to be there? Hobie 1 or Hobie 2? If it's Hobie 2, I just might show up.

[David Manning]

Regrets

[CTDeLude]

Where the classy ladies go...

where the real MEN go...

CHUDWest!

[Burke]

Sigh...

[Russell Lucas2]

That's the best signature line going, Burke.

[Jason Pollock]

I'm guessing Django won't be there...

[Jason Pollock]

I wish my signature worked. It is the single funniest image I have ever seen on this site or any other.

So here.

<img src="http://www.chud.com/graphics5/mj.jpg" alt="" />

[Russell Lucas2]

Oh, boy, you weren't kidding.

[gravedigger]

Indeed, Nick hit a moment of absolute greatness with that take on the INVINCIBLE album cover.

[moovyphreak]

Me.

[Blofeld]

Gee, I wish I wasn't not going. Wait a minute ... I am not not going.

[Kronos]

I just wish it weren't ridiculed...but, whaddya gonna do?

Hey! I know! Have a big BBQ and party! Yeah, that'll brighten things up!

[Tony Ryan]

Ridiculed?

It's self parody, I have no need to ridicule it.

[Django]

All I know is I didn't do anything.

Goddamn you DEVIN!

[Kronos]

Heh...

[prala is just for jk]

:;sob::

i can't afford it

[Kronos]

You mean you can't afford not to!

[prala is just for jk]

i dunno. my dignity and my ability to stand upright could be challenged severely

[Greg Hansen]

Bummer. I'll miss it by about a week...

[Kronos]

prala:
i dunno. my dignity and my ability to stand upright could be challenged severelyHeh heh...and it would have been glorious!

[prala is just for jk]

i truely can't believe you'd stand by and watch an innocent young girl like myself being corrupted, kronos.

[Kronos]

I'm there to make damn sure you wouldn't be...yet my motives would probably be in question!

Heh...

[Will]

Tony Ryan:
Me.Ahhhhhhhhhhh, Tony, we will turn over a glass for ya! I think we all would have liked to have the chance to meet you in person.

[Will]

Boys No. 6 Django Kiriyama:
I have it on rather good authority that the following people shall not be attending CHUDWest...

- Scott Stapp
- John "Bringin' The" Force
- Dame Judi Dench
- Ruth "Get The Party Started" Buzzi
- Mary Lou Mahoney
- Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem
- Billy Katt
- The Real Don Steele
- Roger Smith
- Hobie from Baywatch
- Pedro Garcia
- GARY COLEMAN
- Fernando Valunzella
- Jane Valez Mitchell

More to come as they come in...That pisses me off because I was going to have a t shirt made that said, "I fucked Gary Coleman and sucked his little Pee Pee." I was hoping to award it to Ludwig

[Django]

Someone has to be the piñata on day 2, right...

[prala is just for jk]

oh kronos....you silly

[Will]

Tony Ryan:
Ridiculed?

It's self parody, I have no need to ridicule it.Tony could not make it even if he wanted to. I figure if the little guys can't enjoy it because they can't make it, then if they can enjoy ripping at it what the hell. At least they get some enjoyment out of CHUDWEST.

Besides, it seems stupid to tear at something that hasn't taken place yet, but que serra serra!

Once the Chewers are here, once we have torn down VIDA, drunk 43, eating Suzzane goes on a Picnic, eaten a HUGE smoked Porterhouse and had the back private room where the tale is slightly higher than the floor, but the place for you legs goes under the table into a hole, sort of Japanese style.

Once we have sat by the large outside fireplace and discussed anything CHUD or film we want to. Once we have swam, slept, eaten any of the tree rippen fruit that abounds here. After we have been plied with Sangria, Sun tea, fresh, squeesed fruitjuice, every kind of beer known to man, Sobe Iced teas and other drinks, about seven types of meats, cooked to perfection, garlic bread cooked on a spear over and open fire and all food is cooked over wood fires only. After meeting a star of movies and one that is easy to look at, we move on and talk to a young actor who appeared in film a few years ago that make it clear he will be doing more and more film. An actor (Not top billing, just an actor) who is in a film that was on the front page of CHUD not too long ago is stopping over to thave BBQ and maybe a beer and chat for a while. A few actors and actresses from the small screen will be there as well. Some have their own TV shows, some will.

At this point we shall have to take care that Blofeld doesn't fall too deeply in love with anybody. If we catch grendel asking if any of the girls have a twin sister, with a mad gleem in his eye, we can just nod knowingly and throw cold water on him.

Several twenty something actresses will be in attenedance eating and telling stories about the shooting of their various shows. This is not a fact and hard, press junket type interview. These people are coming here to eat and drink. You won't be put in an audience with the actors at a table where you are allowed to ask only certain questions.

I will tell you this. I have invited NO major stars. If you know some of the people I know, I have NOT invited them. One interview, I am saving for the next time Nick comes out, personally.

You will find actors and actresses you probably recognize, all twenty something ish.

If it stays friendly and people are having a good time, it continues. If someone starts acting like an ass, I have them picked up and thrown outside the gates and there they stay.

A couple more surprizes and we are done for the day, except for the nightly review around the outside fireplace. Since he will fall asleep, we will gentle pick up and carry kronos to the pool and revive him.

Post your hatred of CHUDWEST or come and enjoy the company of other CHEWERS. Its completely OKAY either way. After all, even the hatred helps to shill it, right?

[Kronos]

Heh...yeah. I do nod for a while...then it's wakey wakey at five!

Maybe I should do that whole astronaut-style change my circadium rhythm so that I can stay up till three.

But then who will be up at five?

[gravedigger]

CHUDWEST '02: Go for the fucking AWESOME food, stay to ogle the young starlets.

[Kronos]

Life worth living indeed!

[Blofeld]

Blofeld's brain begins planning activities during Kronos' nap time...

[Blofeld]

Can you say, "Olsen Twins?"

[Kronos]

Hmmm...life worth living indeed.

[CTDeLude]

Beautiful twenty-something starlets..

get your fill @

CHUDWEst!

[Kronos]

Come for the twenty, stay for the something!

[Blofeld]

Come to CHUDWEST '02 and hear Blofeld say over and over again, "I don't know who that is!"

[Blofeld]

Oh, and a heads up... if a young starlett says she's "twenty-something," she's really 40 with a huge plastic surgery debt.

[Will]

Blofeld:
Oh, and a heads up... if a young starlett says she's "twenty-something," she's really 40 with a huge plastic surgery debt.When you guys see the the starlettes, I don't want to hear things like, "Hey! Time for the CHUDWEST "apendages" to make an appearance."

[Rylander]

mmm, starlets.

:sigh:

Looking forward to it. Or, as an old friend once said, "The anticipation is making me wait."

:cool:

[CTDeLude]

Good one Kronos.

and Will for those of us with significant others you gotten tell the starlets not to jump over the incredible men of CHUD.

We'd never hear the end of it when we get home. Before even.

Stay for the something

Get smacked for everything

CHUDWest!

[Will]

prala:
i dunno. my dignity and my ability to stand upright could be challenged severely"my ability to stand upright could be challenged severely"

Well, D'uh! What did you expect if you go party with the CHUD animals on the West Coast?

Never fear, prala. I will prorect you.

[Will]

CTDelude (Sojourner):
Good one Kronos.

and Will for those of us with significant others you gotten tell the starlets not to jump over the incredible men of CHUD.

We'd never hear the end of it when we get home. Before even.

Stay for the something

Get smacked for everything

CHUDWest!Its ok, I think the starlettes are coming for the foodin' not the foolin' if you know what I mean? Now Blodfeld and grendel are probably comin' for the foolin' so maybe they should share a small plastic covered room or something.

[Tony Ryan]

Will:
Tony Ryan:
Ridiculed?

It's self parody, I have no need to ridicule it.Tony could not make it even if he wanted to. I figure if the little guys can't enjoy it because they can't make it, then if they can enjoy ripping at it what the hell. At least they get some enjoyment out of CHUDWEST.

Besides, it seems stupid to tear at something that hasn't taken place yet, but que serra serra!

Once the Chewers are here, once we have torn down VIDA, drunk 43, eating Suzzane goes on a Picnic, eaten a HUGE smoked Porterhouse and had the back private room where the tale is slightly higher than the floor, but the place for you legs goes under the table into a hole, sort of Japanese style.

Once we have sat by the large outside fireplace and discussed anything CHUD or film we want to. Once we have swam, slept, eaten any of the tree rippen fruit that abounds here. After we have been plied with Sangria, Sun tea, fresh, squeesed fruitjuice, every kind of beer known to man, Sobe Iced teas and other drinks, about seven types of meats, cooked to perfection, garlic bread cooked on a spear over and open fire and all food is cooked over wood fires only. After meeting a star of movies and one that is easy to look at, we move on and talk to a young actor who appeared in film a few years ago that make it clear he will be doing more and more film. An actor (Not top billing, just an actor) who is in a film that was on the front page of CHUD not too long ago is stopping over to thave BBQ and maybe a beer and chat for a while. A few actors and actresses from the small screen will be there as well. Some have their own TV shows, some will.

At this point we shall have to take care that Blofeld doesn't fall too deeply in love with anybody. If we catch grendel asking if any of the girls have a twin sister, with a mad gleem in his eye, we can just nod knowingly and throw cold water on him.

Several twenty something actresses will be in attenedance eating and telling stories about the shooting of their various shows. This is not a fact and hard, press junket type interview. These people are coming here to eat and drink. You won't be put in an audience with the actors at a table where you are allowed to ask only certain questions.

I will tell you this. I have invited NO major stars. If you know some of the people I know, I have NOT invited them. One interview, I am saving for the next time Nick comes out, personally.

You will find actors and actresses you probably recognize, all twenty something ish.

If it stays friendly and people are having a good time, it continues. If someone starts acting like an ass, I have them picked up and thrown outside the gates and there they stay.

A couple more surprizes and we are done for the day, except for the nightly review around the outside fireplace. Since he will fall asleep, we will gentle pick up and carry kronos to the pool and revive him.

Post your hatred of CHUDWEST or come and enjoy the company of other CHEWERS. Its completely OKAY either way. After all, even the hatred helps to shill it, right?Dude, I kid in good spirts.

Maybe I shoulda had the wink thing?

[Kronos]

I have it on good authority that grendel simply likes to watch...

[Kronos]

It's all good, Tony. It always has been...

[voltes5]

I have failed Team Django as it's very obvious in my sigfile. I actually felt horrible the past two nights knowing that I'm poking fun of CHUDWEST. Okay, that might be overdramatic, but I felt bad nevertheless.

Still, we all kid because we love. You guys have a great and awesome time.

Just send over a lousy cum stain in a doggy bag if possible. :p

[Yando]

Although I won't be at CHUDwest '02, count me in for CHUDwest '04...

[Jim Pappas/Jabba]

I have already started my pre-Chudwest diet, so a svelte, and hungry beyond the level normally associated with homo sapiens, Jabbadonut will be infecting my fellow Chuder's with Jabbaism. Yes.

Just kidding about the Jabbaism . . . :)

[Blofeld]

* Blofeld eyes his waist-pillow ... wonders if young starletts dig that kind of thing ... *

[Blofeld]

* After a few minuts of serious thinking, Blofeld decides he doesn't have to do sit-ups. He'll just stand facing east when the tide is out, and west when it's in. *

[CTDeLude]

* Blofeld will soon realize that this is California and the girls here can spot that kinda thing a mile away.

[Blofeld]

* Blofeld eyes his calendar and figures he can fit in about 30 sit-ups before CHUDWEST '02. *

[MADMAN]

Forget the sit-ups man, confidence is key, confidence. Say: I am a bad MuthaFucka, I am a bad MuthaFucka...

[Burke]

Blofeld must stop reading Robert B. Parker!

[Will]

Tony, I wasn't seriously screwing with you. I have told you on these boards that you are more than ivited. You are personally invited and I wish you could make it. Understand I screw with you only in the spirit of play of CHUDWEST and didn't feel you were bashing, but only jesting. Come on, man, sell some of the worst DVD's from the collection and fly out. Come to de CHUDfest and feel all right!

[Blofeld]

MADMAN:
Perhaps it would make for a shorter list to name who will be in attendance. I have a post-it.I love when Django's little friends get in on the ridicule, too!

[Will]

Voltes @ The Dew Drop Innsmouth:
I have failed Team Django as it's very obvious in my sigfile. I actually felt horrible the past two nights knowing that I'm poking fun of CHUDWEST. Okay, that might be overdramatic, but I felt bad nevertheless.

Still, we all kid because we love. You guys have a great and awesome time.

Just send over a lousy cum stain in a doggy bag if possible. :p Voltes, I wills start to work on the cum stain t shirt for you right away.........................

Just hold, on............ a..... second................. OH shit, where's that t shirt.

Heh!
Cum to CHUDWEST!

[Blofeld]

I hear HAM is not going to be at CHUDWEST '02 ... unless he's writing like a madman.

Get to work, Jason. I don't want to have to search the dungeon to meet you.

[Will]

Blofeld:
* Blofeld eyes his waist-pillow ... wonders if young starletts dig that kind of thing ... *Will "The Budda" doesn't worry about that. I just sit there and explain why I cannot wear shorts like a normal man and they fall in love with me.

[Will]

Blofeld:
I hear HAM is not going to be at CHUDWEST '02 ... unless he's writing like a madman.

Get to work, Jason. I don't want to have to search the dungeon to meet you.HAM earned his place within about, like a week of arriving here. His writing is very good and his production is awesome. When it comes to writing, I now understand where he got the name "Machine". The dude can crank.

Psssst! This is probably not true, but tinsle town rumor has it that our very own HAM has landed a small part in a weekly television show. (Now get this) He was tapped to appear as a young comedy writer. More details will be available at CHUDWEST.

[Blofeld]

Ah! So, HAM is one of the young starlets?

[Will]

Blofeld:
Ah! So, HAM is one of the young starlets?If true, I guess you could say he will now HAMette up.

[CTDeLude]

HAHA!

Get those sit ups and crunchs going Blo!

I'll send you the Taebo tapes so you can be fit and hip too!

Though it is a little passe now...

[Will]

CTDelude (Sojourner):
HAHA!

Get those sit ups and crunchs going Blo!

I'll send you the Taebo tapes so you can be fit and hip too!

Though it is a little passe now...Yeah, I think I just passed one too.

[MADMAN]

I love when Django's little friends get in on the ridicule, too!...

[CTDeLude]

Ventura Will?

Where you can see the whole place sweaty?

[Will]

Will Ventura! I like it. I may take up wreslin' and run for office too!

Will "The Schlong" Ventura. It does have a certain ring to it!

[CTDeLude]

CHUDWesy '02!

Not quite as good as

CHUDWest '02!

[Kronos]

CHUDWesy...a province in Tanzania.

[Will]

Nothing is as good as CHUDWEST 02, unless its 03 and it too early to start shilling that.

[Blofeld]

CHUDWEST '03 the inevitable follow-up to CHUDWEST '02

[CTDeLude]

CHUDWest '03

Will's mother ....

Harder!

NO NO MY EYES NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Django]

Okay...so who dies at the end of CHUDWest 1?

Cause if you want this as a saga...somebody's gotta die...

[General Zod]

I would go if someone would say "please."

[Kronos]

Psychic War Casualty No. 6 Django:
Okay...so who dies at the end of CHUDWest 1?

Cause if you want this as a saga...somebody's gotta die...The UPS guy who was an undercover agent for Creation Entertainment.

After all, those bastards don't get a cut...and I had to make sure an example was made to them.

"You want Brown, Creation-boy? I'll give you Brown!"

[Will]

Any Which Way, but Zod:
I would go if someone would say "please.""please." There you have. See you on the 24th!

[Michael Rabattino]

Any word on whether or not Bronson Pinchot is gonna be there?

[Will]

Verbal Custer:
Any word on whether or not Bronson Pinchot is gonna be there?Naw, neither Bronson nor anybody who has one cute enough for me to pinch it will be there. eek!

[purple_hazed]

I am going, bring that limo to the airport. Who do I look for?

[Will]

purpled_hazed:
I am going, bring that limo to the airport. Who do I look for?The limo is already going to be at the airport, on the 23rd at 1:30 PM to pick up other chewers who are coming in on different airlines.

If you are coming, email me date, time, airline and flight information (Number and from where) and I will arrange pick up.

You can look for the extremely handsome, well to do, distinguished gentelman, well dressed and obviously extremely cultured, However,THAT will NOT be me. I will be the slob in the Rolls Royce.

[Kronos]

I'll be the one [/b][/i]NOT[/i][/b] carrying a bomb.

[Kronos]

I'll be the one NOT proofreading his bomb-making booklets.

[purple_hazed]

Will, what year is that Rolls Royce? and Kronos, I proof read the booklet..here you go, I am finished with it.

a.Be sure that the hand operated gate valves for the condensate return and discharge mains are closed.
b.Place the condensate discharge pump selector switch in the "AUTO" position.
c.Remove the pipe plug from the top of the condensate accumulator tank and fill the tank approximately two-thirds(2/3) full or until the discharge pump starts.Check the pump for proper rotation and "dead head" discharge pressure.The pressure gauge should read at least five (5) pounds more than the rated discharge pressure.
d. Open the discharge gate valve slowly to allow water in the tank to be pumped to the boiler.When the pump stops,refill the tank to see if the pumps alternate.Repeat this step if necessary.
e.Be sure that the discharge valve is fully open.Replace the fill plug and tighten it to be sure that it has an air tight seal.The vacuum pump is now ready for preliminary operation.

Hope this clarifies things for you.If not you should obtain:
Service Bulletin 3442E-1M-684E-485E

Hope that meets your specifications KRONOS.

[Kronos]

I said BOMB, not BONG!

[Will]

Two toned. Dark Silver over Gray. Very British looking,1987. It'll be the one with loud Hip Hop music eminating from the open windows. (right!)
Clean as a whistle.

Think I'll stick a sign in the window on the passenger side that says CHUD. However, it isn't a Honda and I think it will be the only Two toned Silver and Gray Rolls there that day.

Just hold up a hundred dollar bill, that will be your sign. I always stop for those!

[CTDeLude]

CHUDWest '02!

Pay to get laid by a Rolls Royce!

Errr wait!

[purple_hazed]

Kronos, My bad..I thought I was proof reading the right booklet. Excuse the error. So much for technology and memory loss. May the force be with you.

Will, sounds like you got it going on with that "HOT" Rolls. Hip-Hop? You won't be playing that new Eminem song will you? I suggest you don't if you looking for hundred dollar bills, unless Eminem is around...He might pay you big bucks to play since the FCC WILL let him be.

[Kronos]

*clears throat*...I sorta like his latest single.

Sorry...

[CTDeLude]

So do I ...

does that make me a bad person?

[Kronos]

Yes.

[CTDeLude]

But what if I actually though Kinkin Park was a decent band?

Does that make me a bad person?

[Kronos]

YES!

[CTDeLude]

Okay okay but what if I gave to the Kronos world domination fund?

What that then seal the deal of being a bad person?

[Kronos]

Well then, your copy of The Plan will be waiting for you at CHUDWEST '02.

[Will]

I hate to admit it as well, but I am liking his music myself, so it just might be blaring from the Rolls that day.

He does get down on his momma and his ex.
Seems to love his kid.

Gotta admire that a bit.

[Will]

This is interesting.

[purple_hazed]

I want to apologize to those Eminem fans out there. I like him too..sometimes.

I wish I could come to that Chud get together. Sounds you people will be having a great time.

If any of you are flying Delta..or not flying Delta, here is something funny I found. If you have a chance. Listen to this. <a href="http://www.computerpranks.com/download/media/wav/delta.wav" target="_blank">Infamous Delta Commercial</a>

[Will]

Da grebdel has officially announced his apperance at CHUDWEST along with the beautiful HotPants.

Kronos shall be there.

Blofeld the mad bomber, shall be there.

CT will be there.

Nelson will be there.

HAM will be there.

The man himself, O'l Will will be gracing you with his presence.

Subtuoi(sp) will be there.

Smiling Jack will be there.

The infamous Rylander will be there.

Rhinestone Cowboy has confirmed (Email me dude and let me know if you are alive) will be there, I hope.

Other chewers whom I forget right now will be there.

Hopefully, yt will make it and I am setting a very special place for her. Its the Sony setting.

Jabba will be there.

Actors will be there.

Actresses or Starlettes, will be there.

Never seen before footage will be there. Incredible food will be there.

Drinks of every description, including one's you'll like but have never tried will be there.

Pictures of the Chewers taken with starlettes will be there.

Free t-shirts and hats will be there.

Dinner at Nick's favorite LA resturant will be there.

Your cost for all the above? Nada, zero, zilch, nothing, gratis, free.

Who says there is no such thing as a free lunch? Sat. August the 24th at 1:00 O'Clock, that myth will be abused and destroyed.

CHUDWEST '02, THE PLACE TO BE" "BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

You KNOW you owe it to yourself. You owe the stories about it, the legend, to your grandchildren.