Least Favorite Moment: Star Wars Franchise

[Blofeld]

The Obi-Wan spectre sits down on a log.

[R-LU]

"Mom, you always say the problem with this galaxy is that people don't help each other."


I may have gotten the exact words wrong, and if so, the actual words are funnier.

[Eddie5]

RETURN OF THE JEDI: Obi Wan the non-corporeal floater decides to sit on a log.

Hey, how did I get here?

[This message has been edited by Blofeld (edited 03-01-2001).]

[Eddie5]

Er..Blo, sorry. I didn't know that you wrote the same thing.

[Poxy Von Sinister]

The whole Luke/Leia/Han scene in ROTJ before Luke goes off to confront Vader. Should have been an emotional highpoint, yet Leia reacts like Luke just told her she'd left the oven on. And when she says "Hold me!" to Han -- yeah, hold me over a toilet. As much as I love that movie, this is ALWAYS the bathroom break for me.

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Poxy Von Sinister
"That's the biggest hyperbole in the whole wide world!"

[Blofeld]

Eddie, the sitting on a log is from Jedi.

[Refrozen Seabass]

Hmmm...

The Mynock hunt, the fact that the shortest path between two points is through the core of the planet (??) and the existence of Midichlorians in general.

These three tie for first place.

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I imagine a herd of marching cockroaches corralling a horrified parrot into line.

[Eddie5]

It figures that it has to be Return.

And thanks, Blo. Save face nifty edit will.

[Eddie5]

The way the Rancor is composited always make me mad. You can fucking see the trace lines.

[Blofeld]

<getting ready to duck> ... the trash compactor scene in New Hope is the moment I use for potty break and to get a beer.

Question, as the space "compacts", how is it that the mass of the garbage DECREASES?

[Jason Pollock]

I had the opportunity once to purchase the laserdisc Special Editions box set for $60.00 and thought-"Wow-it'd be nice to have then in nearly an archival format.
And they did such great stuff for the re-releases. The trailers alone made me cry! And then all of the added stuff-the Tatooine additions...the Death Star attack...Wampa...Cloud City...the Coruscant celebration...NO-NO FUCKING WAY AM I BUYING THOSE DISCS!!!!"

I suddenly wanted no part of the Star Wars: Special Edition.

What brought this on? How had my mind changed so forcefully?

I changed my mind when it cleared enough for me to remember the the horror and betrayal I felt rip through me on that bitter January evening-cleared enough for me to remember the splinter in my mind's eye-the single most HATEFUL moment in Star Wars canon-and quite possibly-FILM.


Greedo fires first.


Greedo fires first.

And Star Wars was never the same.

I bought all three of the original remastered "one last time" old-school trilogy laserdiscs for $34.00. Sold my first edition VHS for $40.00. I win.



[This message has been edited by Hot Animal Machine (edited 03-01-2001).]

[GDog]

You beat me to it HAM...that was, a travesty

I thought the Phantom Menace was OK. Jedi was cheesy too, but I still think it was OK. I actually laughed at some of Jar Jar Binks' antics.

But I will never forgive George Lucas for tarnishing the image of Han Solo.

[This message has been edited by GDog (edited 03-01-2001).]

[Darth Bigglesworth]

Greedo firing first was appalling. But a strong contender for the number 2 spot of Special Edition boo-boos was Luke screaming while falling down the shaft in Empire. And as if having scream was bad enough, he had to sound just like the Emperor did when he fell down the shaft in Return.

[grabass]

Leia suddenly becomes Dirty Harry(ette)in the Specal Edition of Star Wars.

Who's the sound FX "genius" that decided her blaster didn't sound good enough during the battle over the chasm on the Death Star, and thought a .44 Magnum-type blast would?

[The Duke]

I agree with everything here, especially the Rancor effects, Greedo shooting first, and Luke falling. I also dislike any burping aliens. And I wish that Jar Jar's antics were toned down and that it was easier to understand what the hell he was saying.

[Blofeld]

Salacious Crumb

[Jason Pollock]

Ouch. Salacious Crumb.

Ugh-gratuitous Muppet. Leaps to the ceiling in a hideously obvious use of reverse playback. Sickening.

[Eddie5]

Luke's feigned sadness at the death of Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. They were scorched meatless and when he gets back to Obi, he's almost happy to go. No. Make that he's eager to go.

[Django]

You two assholes leave Salacious Crumb alone. The Great Gonzo needed the work.

My list of worst moments:

- "Yippie!" Episode 1
- The Sarlac burps in Jedi.
- The Opee farts Episode 1.
- The exchange between Solo and C-3PO where he's asking for stuff then ends with "And hurry up will you, I ain't got all day." from Jedi.
- "Fly Casual..." Jedi

[Blofeld]

Lucas went back to the Salacious'-giggle-well once too often.

[BigRoundSailor]

The Greedo scene. There is nothing that I despise more in all of Star Wars-dom as that one dark, despicable moment. Not even the bathroom jokes fill me with as much of the power of the Dark Side.

BTW, the fact that Naboo has no molten core and is a geological and planetary oddity may play an important role in Ep. II. Don't knock it yet.

[Eddie5]

Shoot me but I kinda thought 'Fly casual' was pretty cool.

[flint]

I've never been a big fan of the Ewoks taking down the Stormtroopers in ROTJ.

I mean, for chrissakes? The cream of the Empire's military taken down by a bunch of teddy bears with stones and arrows? Grr...

[Refrozen Seabass]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">BTW, the fact that Naboo has no molten core and is a geological and planetary oddity may play an important role in Ep. II. Don't knock it yet.

Nah. It's round, ain't it?

Note to Lucas: Next time, pay attention to your script.


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I imagine a herd of marching cockroaches corralling a horrified parrot into line.

[U2Shark]

I hate: "Yousa means peoples gonna die?" and
Lucas's need to name things that all sound the same: Count Dooku, Planet Naboo, Mace Windu, Aunt Beru.

[Jason Pollock]

Sure does make it easier for those lame guys that make the parody raps...

And Chris Lee's character being named Count Dooku is about the most pathetic thing I've ever heard in my life.

Bela Lugosi IS DoctoR....ACULA!!!

Grrr! and Fuck!

[Refrozen Seabass]

What happened to the cool names, like Dodonna and Antilles and Tarkin and Rieekan (or whatever)? Those aren't common, but they sound real.

Count Dooku especially sounds like a He-Man character.

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I imagine a herd of marching cockroaches corralling a horrified parrot into line.

[Eddie5]

I have a friend whose real life name is Sai Sidharth. Now, that is a Star Wars name.

[Refrozen Seabass]

I know a Strini Naidu. That's not too bad either.

Of course, Lucas would make him one of those long necked things, as a "play on words". Clever, clever...

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I imagine a herd of marching cockroaches corralling a horrified parrot into line.

[Blofeld]

Even the general has to have a least favorite moment ... I'd like to hear what it is!

[General Logan]

I'll assume you mean the "little" general, and not me.

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www.generallogan.com (http://www.generallogan.com)

[Mazian]

I have to second the Storm Troopers, the Empire's feared shock troops, being routed by those f'n Ewoks. The general tone of Jedi was just crap. Irwin Kershner, come back to us!

Second on the list: although it's humourous, the scene in the infirmary at the beginning of Empire ("gundark," "nerf herder") is loaded with typical Lucas "space speak" that really is annoying, when you think about it.

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Make no mistake, your violation will be televised

[generalzod]

I found mine. "The Star Wars Holiday Special!"
Some unsettling images are: The old Wookiee with the fucked up lip, Harvey Korman in drag(wtf?), Art Carney being very serious, Bea "Maude" Arthur singing to a muppet mouse, Jefferson Starship and Harrison Ford hugging any Wookiee in sight!
What's the deal with Mark Hamill's make-up?
Lucas's name is nowhere to be seen. Smart one, George.

[R-LU]

I have to break down and get a copy of the holiday special from ebay. Haven't seen it since the tender age of eight, when crap-detectors weren't fully formed yet. E.g., I saw "Message From Space" in the theater when it came out. "Star Wars" made me think every movie about space was the coolest thing in the world, but I think I woke up a bit when I saw that knock-off. Anyone remember that one?

[Nick Nunziata]

Help me here...

Isn't there a "Tarzan-esque" yell as Chewbacca swings through the tress in "Jedi"? If so, that's the worst moment for me.

I like Salacious Crumb.

[flint]

Indeed there is Nick. Good choice.

And come on Zod! That's cheating! http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

EVERYONE hates the Christmas Special!

[This message has been edited by flint (edited 03-15-2001).]

[Blofeld]

Salacious Crumb was fine for me until the 4th (?) close-up of him giggling.

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[Poxy Von Sinister]

R-Lu, I just saw Message from Space again on Flix the other day. I'm a sucker for Japanese giant model work (sure it looks like a model the entire time, but they're usually so damn intricate it doesn't matter), but the acting is miserable, and the villains look like they couldn't make the cut on Power Rangers. The swimming in the asteroid field is good for a laugh too. This is one of those things (like the old HB Godzilla cartoons) that seemed so cool when you were kid, but now you watch it and think, "What the hell was wrong with me?"

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Poxy Von Sinister
"I am not being starved, or beaten, or unnecessarily frightened."

[R-LU]

Poxy-
Thanks for the memories. I've got just a few hazy memories of some sort of kamikaze-type scene and a Force rip-off that involved something that looked like gold. What's flix, a cable channel? I don't think "Message From Space" is otherwise rentable, and I'd like to treat myself to one of those "what was I thinking" experiences.

[Poxy Von Sinister]

It's one of the seemingly eight dozen movie channels we got with our digital cable service. They tend to run a little more obscure than HBO or Showtime -- I also caught Tentacles on there the other day, if you can believe that.

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Poxy Von Sinister
"I am not being starved, or beaten, or unnecessarily frightened."

[generalzod]

It's not cheating, just had to purge myself since I had to watch it last night as I was dubbing a copy for a friend. Yes, I do own a copy.
Salacious crumb never bothered me.

[Dave Davis]

well it's not the worst, but i'm always amused when they take out the radar dish in Jedi. after he sets the charges, you see Han hide behind a log about 10 meters from the bunker, and then they show a shot above the treetops of this absolutely enormous structure being obliterated. Han = ground zero

Boba Fett's Clouseau-esque pratfall "demise" is up there as well

[Eddie5]

That makes it even worse now. Boba is going to get some serious screen time now with a character arc, only to have an oops death in Jedi.

Will that mean Boba's death be changed in "Luke in Black" to accomodate his emergence in EP:II?

[Blofeld]

It'll all be fixed in the DVD release of Jedi. The Sarlaac will fire first.

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[A-Pathetic]

Man, I can't believe nobody has mentioned this one.
"But I was going into tosche station to pick up some power converters!"
When I got a little older I was amazed that my hero was a whiny little bitch.

[devilf]

Actually, that's one of my FAVORITE moments. Luke needs to be established as a whiny bitch to give his arc any real resonance. That whiny kid turns into the man who strides purposefully into Jabba's chamber, and who stands up to the Emperor.

[Blofeld]

That line makes me laugh ... not because of the whininess of Luke, but because of the absolute tin-ear Lucas has for writing flowing dialogue.

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[R-LU]

Yeah, Uncle George always takes a lot of hits for his tin ear, but I always loved "Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."

Nice.

Didn't Harrison Ford tell him, "You can type this #$%@ George, but you can't read it."

[Neil Bung]

On opening night of the Star Wars Special Edition theater run, when Luke whined about Tosche Station, the audience let out a collective mock-sympathetic "AWWWW!!!"

And that scene was instantly elevated to classic status for me.

[Blofeld]

I seem to recall hearing that somebody said something like that to him.

"I want to come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the force and become a Jedi like my father."

Say it aloud. Go ahead. Say it. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it?

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[Hellblazer]

Maybe not for you, Blo, but my friends and I actually talk like that. Pretty fucking sad, now that I think about it.

[RandomKill]

I got to say this.
Am I the only one who is bored by The Phantom Menace after watching it through once?
I mean, I bought the video, I try to watch it all the way through.
And unlike the first three (Which I can usually find something to enjoy), halfway through The Phantom ZZZZZZZZZZ.

[Blofeld]

You're not the only one.

I fell asleep during the first viewing. In the theatre.

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[General Logan]

My worst moment was realizing that they indeed let Blofeld into the theater. We worked so hard to keep him out!

I mean there were people ALL OVER THE CONTINENT lining up, camping out, dodging suspicious news reporters and police just to keep him 500 yards away.

In the end, there was some horrible mix up, and these patriots were labeled "fanboys"--considered freaks for their efforts!

These unsung heroes will never see the respect of those outside their mom and dad's basements again.

Damn you Blofeld. Damn you.

http://www.chud.com/board/ubbhtml/wink.gif

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www.generallogan.com (http://www.generallogan.com)

[Refrozen Seabass]

I walked out of the theater and fell asleep in the car.

Nah, it wasn't that bad. Not that bad.

[This message has been edited by Refrozen Seabass (edited 03-17-2001).]

[generalzod]

It wasn't.

[R-LU]

I started to fall asleep during the siege on Naboo. I'm sure the fact that it was around 1:30 in the morning had something to do with it, but I certainly didn't fight it as hard as I would have otherwise.

[HeavyMetalThunder]

I'd say the worst star wars moment is in Empire, where Luke just finds out that 'ol Darth is daddy, and he screws up his face something fierce. Sheesh, that's overacting, and an unrealistic response to boot. If I were Luke I'd have said "If you're my father, then I'm goin' home! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!"