Worst Hero Escapes [Archive]

Mark Matthews

07-20-2003, 10:01 PM

This topic was inspired by the movie Training Day, which for no particular reason popped into my head today. (I guess I should add a spoiler warning for those who still haven't got around to seeing it, but c'mon, it's been out a couple years).

I was really into the movie and practicaully on the edge of my seat when Ethan Hawke was in the tub about to have his head blown off. But how does he escape? That girl's wallet in his pocket. A girl that just happened to be the niece of the guy holding the shotgun. I mean, what are the odds of that in Los Angeles? Don't get me wrong, I still like the movie a lot, still think Denzel and Ethan were great in it, but the way Ethan escapes a certain death still bugs me.

I'm sure there are even worse moments out there.

Eric Binford

07-20-2003, 10:59 PM

The arrival of the Marines to rescue our heroes at the end of Jurassic Park III.

I felt it happened way too abruptly. I was hoping for a much more exciting climax.

And of course, no "worst of" list is complete without an obligatory Batman & Robin reference.

Batman heating the water with his "las-er" and dunking the frozen Robin in to thaw him out.

It was almost a carbon copy of something I'm sure we've seen on the old show.

Minus the fun and intentional humor of the old show.

Moltisanti

07-20-2003, 11:05 PM

I love "Training Day" but that wallet scene has always left a bad taste in my mouth. It would have been (slightly) more believable for the girl to be at that house, there were a lot of people there, then see Hawke being dragged into the bathroom and tell the gangbangers what he had done for her.

As for another bad escape, I'll go with pretty much any of the ones Vin Diesel performed in "XXX." The dumbest was probably the way he eluded the avalanche, talk about lame.

Mean Gene

07-21-2003, 03:54 AM

No, the worst one in "XXX" was when he escaped from the snipers by riding the platter down the rails like a skateboard. And, technically, the snowboarding wasn't an escape.

As far as the "Training Day" scene goes, I always figured it wasn't supposed to be taken for what it literally meant, but rather to show that since Hawke did the right thing and saved the girl he manages to live. They could've handled it better, but it's not that bad.

Silver Bullet

07-21-2003, 04:15 AM

Mean Gene:
No, the worst one in "XXX" was when he escaped from the snipers by riding the platter down the rails like a skateboard. And, technically, the snowboarding wasn't an escape.Agreed. I was about to get into watching XXX with my younger nephew when I saw that scene and walked out of the room and went to sleep.

Another would be Obi-Wan "rising to the occasion" to slice Darth Maul in half AFTER his master fell. Wow. Couldn't have done that "speed-dash" he and Qui-Gon used to escape the droids on the Trade Federation ship to rush to help his master defeat maul instead of simply running in between the force fields? That still numbs my mind.

moovyphreak

07-21-2003, 09:21 AM

Eric Binford, by Scolex & Scramby:
And of course, no "worst of" list is complete without an obligatory Batman & Robin reference.

Batman heating the water with his "las-er" and dunking the frozen Robin in to thaw him out.

It was almost a carbon copy of something I'm sure we've seen on the old show.

Minus the fun and intentional humor of the old show.Right before this scene, Batman and Robin escape some rocketship by skysurfing the doors on the rocket.

LAME-O!

Stew

07-21-2003, 09:38 PM

I've never understood the problems people have with "Training Day" vs. the hundreds of other films they see. Movies have contrivances like this all the time, many times worse than this. Its all how you present it, and this scene was well done enough that the convenience of it never bothered me. Also, given the film's whole point of a sort of cop morality play, having the hero be saved by a random and selfless good deed makes good dramatic sense.

Moltisanti

07-22-2003, 01:23 AM

I know this thread isn't meant to nit pick "Training Day." I really like the flick but there was another problem I had. Denzel needs to get the stolen drug money to the Russians as soon as possible or his ass is grass. Why does he stop at his girlfriend's pad in between ditching Hawke and getting the cash to the Russians? You could say that he needed to make a stop to sort of collect himself but that's pretty thin. He also must have stayed at the girlfriend's for a long time to give Hawke time to get out of his jam and then catch a bus back to the ghetto.

How is Vin Diesel not "escaping" the avalanche in "XXX?" Snow is chasing him and he is trying to escape from its deadly clutches. What's the problem?

Mean Gene

07-22-2003, 01:58 AM

Well, he made the avalanche himself.

Doug

07-22-2003, 08:55 AM

Sam Jackson and Gena Davis outrun an explosion and leap through a window in "Long Kiss Goodnight".
I know this is done many times, but this was the slowest moving fire ball in film history. I think they even had time to give an "Oh Noooo!" face before they started running.

Gruber

07-23-2003, 04:22 AM

Nicholas Cage. The Rock. He just gets tossed aside by the explosion as the hind quarter of Alcatraz island is incinerated by thermite plasma.

Electrichead

07-23-2003, 01:27 PM

I loved The Rock, but Cage should have been incinerated, leaving his hot-ass girl friend for me.

Gruber

07-23-2003, 01:35 PM

I love the flick, but Die Hard with a Vengeance. Willis and Jackson somehow avoid being roasted when they jump off the boat as it explodes. Did you see how fucking big the explosion was? It even had a shockwave!

Beer Die

07-23-2003, 02:07 PM

I am going to nominate Commando and many others. Not for any particular scene, but more for the 80's cliche of the hero running around in the open being shot at by many bad guys and never getting hit once. That takes the cake for me.

By the way, I like Commando a lot despite the force field around Ahnold.

Gruber

07-23-2003, 02:08 PM

Sully should have been killed when he got thrown around in that phone booth. Broken neck or something. He wouldn't be able to get out of it, run away and engage in a car chase. But what do I know. I like Sully. That's why I'm going to kill him last.

Beer Die

07-23-2003, 02:51 PM

Gruber does a run-by fruiting:
Sully should have been killed when he got thrown around in that phone booth. Broken neck or something. He wouldn't be able to get out of it, run away and engage in a car chase. But what do I know. I like Sully. That's why I'm going to kill him last.How about the car crash that ends that chase. Ahnold and Rae Dawn crash into a pole at a good clip, and survive unharmed. But Rae Dawn is in the same seat that Ahnuld so kindly removed earlier in the film. So, how the fuck did she not get tossed out of the bitch? That had me scratching my head until, "I let him go." Man, that movie has the best one-liners, and T2 ripped most of its best lines from that movie.

Gruber

07-23-2003, 03:09 PM

Not to mention a split second after Arnold and Rae Dawn Chong crash into the pole- A SPLIT SECOND, Arnold looks at her and says "Are you ok?" (or something like that) And they get out. But I feel sorry for Matrix. That guy's watch must drive him crazy, beeping every second (at least when he looks at it)

jackinabox2

07-23-2003, 04:59 PM

The ending of the first Mission Impossible movie. The helicopter explodes and blows Tom Cruise away from the blast.

What the fuck?

A horrid ending to otherwise decent movie.

Isao Kanemasa

07-23-2003, 05:27 PM

When Kidman and Clooney hurl themselves thru the church windows to escape the final explosion in <strong>Peacemaker</strong>. The way it was shot, just reminded me of the skit in In Living Color where the guy gets tossed out his apartment window by gf Kim Wayans (when he mouths off to her after watching an Alpha Male-type video seminar).

Andre Dellamorte

07-23-2003, 05:33 PM

Blade 2: I know this movie has its fans here, but I can think of nothing dumber than someone jumping underwater (which, might I point out, is already an action cliche) to avoid a light bomb that blows out blue. Because light doesn't go through water.