DRAGONBALLing International [Archive]

MoonBaseNick

12-10-2008, 01:53 PM

it just seems like FOX does not care anymore... I have watched a few episodes before, I just can't do it. it reminds me of a good joke I heard a long time ago..

"How many DBZ characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but it takes them 5 episodes to do it."

PsycheOut00

12-10-2008, 01:55 PM

It's incredibly bad. What was the budget for this? It looks like a Power Rangers film.

I hear it was shot thanks to PayPal donations.

One question though. Amidst the atrocious Chow Yun Fat line delivery; the unintentional "we have to find the Dragonballs", uh, humor; and the so-called money shots that wouldn't be even if we still were in 1998, I noticed one thing that piqued my curiosity: at the scene of someone getting kicked in the face, the image freeze framed for like 3 seconds. Was that some sort of "stylistic choice" or just... my browser?

Nah, forget it, you don't even have to answer.

PBar

12-10-2008, 01:58 PM

And yeah, Devin. I read that 4 tons of retarded that was Alex Billington's DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL review. I still don't know how I don't have press creds and that waste of space does.

I can't take any website seriously that ranks Twilight over Punisher: War Zone.

MoonBaseNick

12-10-2008, 01:59 PM

I noticed one thing that piqued my curiosity: at the scene of someone getting kicked in the face, the image freeze framed for like 3 seconds. Was that some sort of "stylistic choice" or just... my browser?

I would like to say that it was your browser, but it was not...it was STYLE baby!!

DARKMITE8

12-10-2008, 02:00 PM

Chow yun-fat in this is like seeing Ben Kingsley in a Uwe Boll flick. Oh wait
BULLETPROOF MONK says that ship already sailed.

Evi

12-10-2008, 02:04 PM

I noticed one thing that piqued my curiosity: at the scene of someone getting kicked in the face, the image freeze framed for like 3 seconds. Was that some sort of "stylistic choice" or just... my browser?
It was a stylistic choice, as was the decision to cast people who can't do martial arts as the leads in a martial arts movie.

Spike Marshall

12-10-2008, 02:05 PM

Maybe I just grew up loving the spectacle of movies more than the story; Home Alone and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were the films that defined me and my generation when I was a kid. That doesn’t discredit me, that just means I have an opinion that may differ from everyone. And I tried to sit back and enjoy the original, I tried to appreciate it for what it was and compare it fairly to the remake. But they just did so many things better this time around…

I see what he's trying to say, he's making a point about the way that popular culture of your youth colours your viewing experience, but it's such a defensive way of doing it that it's actually terrible.

devincf

12-10-2008, 02:08 PM

He's saying he doesn't care about story.

PBar

12-10-2008, 02:09 PM

Just read his thoughts. How the hell did he get a job reviewing and writing about movies?

EdHocken

12-10-2008, 02:13 PM

Home Alone and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles defining a generation?

Fuck this guy.

Nothing this guy ever says again has any relevance or credibility.

Once again. Fuck this guy

agracru

12-10-2008, 02:15 PM

I can't tell what's worse, the trailer, or the Billington quote Spike provided. Jesus Christ.

Chris Olson

12-10-2008, 02:29 PM

Home Alone and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles defining a generation?

Fuck this guy.

Nothing this guy ever says again has any relevance or credibility.

Once again. Fuck this guy

About 10 years ago, I worked in a video store with a kid who said pretty much the same thing about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a response to a conversation my buddy and I were having about Star Wars. Of course, this was a guy who could have served as a poster child for the damaging effects of heavy metal during the MPAA hearings, and he dropped out of high school to work as an auto mechanic. He's also the same guy who recommended that a customer rent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II when we discovered that the movie the customer wanted to rent (that being The English Patient) was out.

Evi

12-10-2008, 02:32 PM

Other Billington articles include "I Don't Go To The Movies To Read!" and "Black and White Films: I Know I Shouldn't, But I Hate Them"

Alan "Nordling" Cerny

12-10-2008, 02:35 PM

Of course, this was a guy who could have served as a poster child for the damaging effects of heavy metal during the MPAA hearings, and he dropped out of high school to work as an auto mechanic. He's also the same guy who recommended that a customer rent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II when we discovered that the movie the customer wanted to rent (that being The English Patient) was out.

And thus... duke fleed was born.

Lima Oscar Lima

12-10-2008, 02:38 PM

Home Alone and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles defining a generation?

Fuck this guy.

Nothing this guy ever says again has any relevance or credibility.

Once again. Fuck this guy

Agreed. Both he and his opinions suck one mile of cock.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 02:39 PM

I'm of the Home Alone and TMNT generation. Home Alone is crap, but I still quote it out of nostalgia with my friend. For anyone who has any nostalgia for the cartoon characters, TMNT holds up surprisingly well. A good movie? No. But as competent as a TMNT movie can be. I wouldn't say it defines me though.

This Dragonball trailer though... I make no secret of being a fan of the manga series, but this just looks too embarrassing to even be funny. These FX remind me of that Dungeons & Dragons movie that came out years ago. And Chow Yun Fat reminds me of Jeremys Iron in that movie.

Even a friend who suggested that we go see this purely for camp value is now reconsidering.

EDIT: I also thought that freeze frame was my browser screwing up.

That doesn't discredit me, that just means I have an opinion that may differ from everyone.

That assumes that he ever had any credibility to begin with... I hate that "it's my opinion" dodge.

EdHocken

12-10-2008, 02:47 PM

That's fine but you sure as shit can't say they "defined" a generation. That's about as a fucked up as a statement can get.

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 03:31 PM

That's fine but you sure as shit can't say they "defined" a generation. That's about as a fucked up as a statement can get.

Power Rangers was my shit!

And this film looks unbelievable. I really can't believe that a studio saw dailies of this debacle and allowed it to continue.

MoonBaseNick

12-10-2008, 03:38 PM

I'm of the Ghostbuster/Transformer generation. now that is one hell of a generation!

ryoken

12-10-2008, 03:56 PM

Awful, and i once owned the entire run of DBZ as a kid, which then went away to the nephews.
At least there's kinda some nice asian jailbait candy in it...i think.
In an ironic twist, i watched "Curse of the golden flower" for the third time last night....stick to golden armor, Fat.

PBar

12-10-2008, 03:57 PM

Or John Woo.

mastronikolas

12-10-2008, 03:57 PM

And to think that Wong was once responsible for the X Files' finest hours.

EdHocken

12-10-2008, 03:58 PM

Power Rangers was my shit!

You and I would be in the area. Of course I was an Animanics man myself.

Hundred

12-10-2008, 03:59 PM

I don't give a shit about this movie, but I love that there is a white kid named Goku.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 04:05 PM

Did my childish interests bleed into other age brackets?

I was into Transformers, Ninja Turtles, Thundercats, Voltron, Tiny Toons, Batman: TAS (which is great no matter how old you are), Darkwing Duck, DuckTales...

It's weird when someone says they were into Transformers but not Ninja Turtles. But I guess I never really got into Power Rangers, though I did watch it for man-in-suit robot action. I liked Animaniacs, but never really liked it nearly as much as Tiny Toons.

neaux

12-10-2008, 04:17 PM

I also read that Ayumi Hamasaki is doing the theme song for the movie which is cool that a J-pop artist will be given some more United States exposure... for a probably awful movie.

EdHocken

12-10-2008, 04:27 PM

probably awful? Come on, you're being modest.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 04:31 PM

You know when Goku starts saying 'Kamehame' I got goosebumps. Either as a Pavlovian response to Dragonball, or shuddering from disgust.

I'm confused! But not about the movie's quality. This will most certainly be awful. It's got everything going against it.

Mr. Stockslivevan

12-10-2008, 04:33 PM

That was gay. Not gay as in homosexual, gay as in fucking retarded.

EdHocken

12-10-2008, 04:42 PM

Glad to see you made that distinction.

Now someone get Nathan Rabin on this ASAP.

James May

12-10-2008, 04:43 PM

I'm amazed that of all the details of the series they left out, they kept the capsule vehicles.

felix

12-10-2008, 04:46 PM

Could someone tell me how Emily Rossum got involved in this shit?

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 04:47 PM

I'm amazed that of all the details of the series they left out, they kept the capsule vehicles.

NERD!!!

... actually, I took note of that too. Would've been fun if they tried to retain the look of the technology in the series at all, but no. It just comes across as generic sci-fi.

Could someone tell me how Emily Rossum got involved in this shit?

Bad agent? Anyway, as Devin already pointed out, this is technically not much worse than what studios usually put out. We know more than the general audience does and I'm assuming that Rossum sees this as nothing more than a paycheck gig to keep her profile up. At most, she'd probably been told how huge this series was around the world. That would be enough in this case. How was she to know how cheap it would end up looking?

DARKMITE8

12-10-2008, 04:47 PM

Well, the fights look better than the ones in JCVD's STREET FIGHTER and I ironically love/hate that POS.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 04:53 PM

I laughed at the GOKU title card when I saw Chatwin's silly pose.

Mr. Stockslivevan

12-10-2008, 04:55 PM

Could someone tell me how Emily Rossum got involved in this shit?

http://lungfull.org/money/moneyman.jpg

felix

12-10-2008, 04:57 PM

Point taken. Wasn't she in that POSEIDEN remake?

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 05:05 PM

Wasn't everyone?

EDIT: She's been in Phantom of the Opera, The Day After Tomorrow, and this. I've probably missed something else she's done (doesn't she have an album out too?), but I don't get the impression that she's particularly 'above' a Dragonball movie.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 06:05 PM

I just realized that I forgot that Stephen Chow was on as the producer. The trailer was so bad I forgot his involvement.

Andrew Eaton

12-10-2008, 06:29 PM

There's a movie coming out called DRAGONBALL. Nevermind who's in it or what it's about, it's called DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION.

And Chow Yun-Fat's wearing a hawaiian shirt while he tells ancient stories in what's sure to be one of the movie's big dramatic scenes. Goddamn any of you who take your kids to this.

The Rain Dog

12-10-2008, 06:33 PM

Home Alone and TMNT?!?!? Jesus, I've never been so glad to be older in my life.

Spike Marshall

12-10-2008, 06:36 PM

Chap Saxon

12-10-2008, 06:42 PM

When I was a kid I used to make my Ninja Turtles and Transformers fuck.

The Rain Dog

12-10-2008, 06:45 PM

I was too young for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I had to put up with the Marvel cartoons, and Batman the Animated Series. I guess I'm lucky because I had all of the bullshit I watched as a kid automatically validated by the revival of superhero films.

When I was a kid/teen I dreamed of comic book films being made besides of course, Superman and Batman.

Jesus, careful what you wish for I guess. Pretty fucking sick of bloody superhero movies these days.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 07:13 PM

I was too young for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Wasn't it Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles for you? Why do I feel like I've already asked you this before? Weird...

Spike Marshall

12-10-2008, 07:16 PM

I really wouldn't be able to tell you, I was about five when the Turtles were really big.

Tom Logan

12-10-2008, 07:21 PM

Are we sure that's Emmy Rossum and not Vicky Pollard?

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/290/vickypollard136589auf2.jpg (http://img201.imageshack.us/my.php?image=vickypollard136589auf2.jpg)

Luca S.

12-10-2008, 07:25 PM

My personal favourite moment of the trailer was when that bike pops out of the pod or whatever and I instinctively went "pretty lame" and the guy on screen went "cool!".

I was wrong, I guess!

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 08:02 PM

Chatwin didn't seem all that impressed, to tell you the truth. You and Chatwin are like bros!

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 08:15 PM

You and I would be in the area. Of course I was an Animanics man myself.

Every day after school, I'd watch Power Rangers and Animaniacs back-to-back. Those were the days...

felix

12-10-2008, 08:20 PM

For me it was MASK, He-Man and the Gummi Bears.

Harley, did you ever watch Jem? The music surprisingly holds up pretty well even after all these years.

Luca S.

12-10-2008, 08:27 PM

Now I wanna kick it with Justin Chatwin! He seems like a stand-up fellow!

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 08:37 PM

Harley, did you ever watch Jem? The music surprisingly holds up pretty well even after all these years.

Never heard of Jem. Since it ran from 1985-1988 according to Wiki, I would have been too young to remember it if I ever watched an episode (I was born in '85).

Tom Logan

12-10-2008, 08:39 PM

I'm gonna throw some love to Visionaries,Bravestar,Dungeons & Dragons,Cities of Gold and G.I.Joe if no-one else is.Oh and Trapdoor,Count Duckula,Dangermouse,BananaMan,SuperTed and Bertha when i was a wee lad.

My generation had no-end of kickass shows growing up,stories with real meat where lives were put on the line.I feel sorry for kids today with the namby pamby cartoons they have to watch.

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 08:41 PM

Darkwing Duck. Rugrats. Ren&Stimpy. Doug. Rocko's Modern Life. Recognize.

wadew1

12-10-2008, 08:43 PM

Now I wanna kick it with Justin Chatwin! He seems like a stand-up fellow!

I don't!
He seems really depressed about this whole Dragonball thing.

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 08:44 PM

I remember Jem! But that was for giiiiiirls! Pee-yousa!

I also used to watch Bravestar (Speed of a Puma!!!). Never had much interest in GI Joe though. Must be the commie in me.

I could never get into the Nick cartoons much. Liked them, but not enough to catch on a regular basis. I did watch Salute Your Shorts though. And Nick Arcade!!!

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 08:45 PM

I don't!
He seems really depressed about this whole Dragonball thing.

Dark and cynical sells! Feel the power of The Dark Knight's influence!!!

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 08:47 PM

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 08:53 PM

I loved Clarissa Explains It All and that Guts show that Nick did that was like a kiddie American Gladiators. I think they've revived it recently, but the original was fucking epic when I was a kid. Climbing that mountain with the boulders and shit flying everywhere.

I watched one called Wild n' Crazy Kids. I think it was kind of what eventually developed into Guts or something. They would take kids to places like Raging Waters and have them slide down the Bermuda Triangle while popping balloons. I loved that show because I went to Raging Waters once as a kid. "Look! I've been there! I'm like those cool TV kids!!!"

Does not surprise me that you loved Clarissa.

Luca S.

12-10-2008, 08:54 PM

I don't!
He seems really depressed about this whole Dragonball thing.
A huge responsibility is on his shoulder!

Will this movie reach the highs of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation?

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 09:15 PM

I watched one called Wild n' Crazy Kids. I think it was kind of what eventually developed into Guts or something. They would take kids to places like Raging Waters and have them slide down the Bermuda Triangle while popping balloons. I loved that show because I went to Raging Waters once as a kid. "Look! I've been there! I'm like those cool TV kids!!!"

Does not surprise me that you loved Clarissa.

Wild n Crazy Kids was great, too!

Oh, this is bringing back so many memories. Pete and Pete! Alex Mack! Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Saturday nights were all about Snick as a kid:)

And does anyone know the name of an obstacle course show that Nickelodeon had where the kids are going through this temple thing a la Indiana Jones? They had to find a bunch of artifacts or something. I can't remember the name, but I dug that shit, too.

iwasakabukiman

12-10-2008, 09:34 PM

Wild n Crazy Kids was great, too!

Oh, this is bringing back so many memories. Pete and Pete! Alex Mack! Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Saturday nights were all about Snick as a kid:)

And does anyone know the name of an obstacle course show that Nickelodeon had where the kids are going through this temple thing a la Indiana Jones? They had to find a bunch of artifacts or something. I can't remember the name, but I dug that shit, too.

Ahh, bringing back all sorts of memories. Mostly good- I used to be a big fan of Are You Afraid of the Dark? The show you're thinking of is Legends of the Hidden Temple. I used to watch that one all the time...

By the way, this trailer looks like total crap. Who would see this? Besides five year olds?

Ueland

12-10-2008, 09:38 PM

Legends of the Hidden Temple.

EDIT: Beaten to it.

HarleyQuinn22

12-10-2008, 09:39 PM

That's it. Thanks to you both.

PBar

12-10-2008, 10:02 PM

I wanted to bang Alex Mack.

The Rain Dog

12-10-2008, 10:10 PM

I'd like a Mysterious Cities of Gold film personally...

James Kimbell

12-10-2008, 10:12 PM

I wanted to bang Alex Mack.
What is this past tense bullshit?

mcnooj82

12-10-2008, 10:33 PM

I WILL want to bang Alex Mack!

Chap Saxon

12-10-2008, 11:07 PM

The guy playing Goku has down syndrome eyes.

AeglosIstarion

12-11-2008, 09:27 AM

And suddenly, that casting decision makes sense. They don't call 'em mongoloids for nothing!

Mattimus

12-11-2008, 09:48 AM

Chatwin didn't seem all that impressed, to tell you the truth. You and Chatwin are like bros!

That line made me laugh the most. It's the quintessential "gotta get me one of those" moments, but it's like he's attending a timeshare seminar only to get the stupid show tickets afterward.

PBar

12-11-2008, 11:27 AM

The guy playing Goku has down syndrome eyes.

He and Robert Pattinson must take the same acting classes.

Domingo

12-11-2008, 11:33 AM

They have the same hair stylist...

wadew1

03-22-2009, 04:34 PM

I know absolutely nothing about Dragonball, but I think I uhh....
I think I might try to sneak into this.

While wearing a disguise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BjJia5xL3o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5kiEzRWFgQ

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/1714/chowu.jpg

mcnooj82

03-22-2009, 06:15 PM

Oh god, don't even go see this hoping to see Chow Yun Fat ham it up! It's worse than bad. It's just pathetic.

wadew1

03-22-2009, 06:44 PM

Are you a big fan of the anime?

Luca S.

03-22-2009, 06:53 PM

I'd like a Mysterious Cities of Gold film personally...

Hell yeah nigga

Enfants du soleil, ton destin est sans pareil! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oS7WXNRTtI&feature=related)

Dr Syn

03-22-2009, 07:59 PM

A huge responsibility is on his shoulder!

Will this movie reach the highs of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation?

Only if everyone use jumping air rolls instead of walking for forward motion.

I'm starting to develop a morbid curiosity for this film now...

Trejo

07-29-2009, 05:00 PM

Oh god, don't even go see this hoping to see Chow Yun Fat ham it up! It's worse than bad. It's just pathetic.

Respectfully disagree there nooj. I thought Chow's character comes as close as the movie gets to nailing quirky Japanese humor (obviously they had to tone down the perversion factor by about 20). There was a few small laughs here, though I don't know how many were intentional or not. Maybe I'm just really easy *hooker boots*

Felt this could have used an extra, god help me, 20 minutes or so because as is there isn't enough build up to the climax (Piccolo's beaten by like the hour and 10 minute mark) and lots of moments there don't feel "earned"..

Yeah, I just said a movie called Dragonball Evolution didn't earn a character moment. Otherwise, yes, its pretty much as terrible as you'd expect. Piccolo is just awful, the fighting is okay but pretty sparse, CG is very hit and miss (why does Goku turn into a lame werechimp thing instead of a great big King Kong bastard?) and the acting is nonexistant. But we all knew that already.

The dvd has a featurette where a group of film students are interviewing Chatwin and and one point one of the people asks, "What do you think the fan reaction to this film will be?" Chatwin says that a friend of his showed him an internet blog of hardcore Dragonball fans and remarks that they all "hate me".. and kind of goes somber for a beat. It's fantastic.

mcnooj82

07-29-2009, 05:56 PM

Felt this could have used an extra, god help me, 20 minutes or so because as is there isn't enough build up to the climax (Piccolo's beaten by like the hour and 10 minute mark) and lots of moments there don't feel "earned"..

Yeah, I just said a movie called Dragonball Evolution didn't earn a character moment.

Yeah, you crazy. Hahahaha.