Fabfunk creeps out the guy who made VIDEODROME

[Werbal_Kint]

Fabfunk's review of EASTERN PROMISES a little while ago. (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32917)

Not only is it a totally brutal one-on-one fight with Viggo’s fists versus two guys with knives, but ol’ Viggo takes them down through about five to ten minutes of bare-knuckled brawling while COMPLETELY NUDE. And there’s no dodgy photography or editing in this- Viggo’s balls are flying ALL over the place. There’s one moment where he lifts his leg to deliver a roundhouse kick, and I could swear Aragorn’s scrote smacked me in the face about six times. If anybody remembers that totally rough naked shower fight in “Get Rich Or Die Trying”, this one is about twelve times more brutal. Van Damme would never agree to that sort of ball exposure, and he’d never deliver the kind of ass-kicking that results from it.

From an article Mori posted today. (http://www.aintitcool.com/?q=node/34108)

Much has been written about Viggo Mortensen’s nudity in the scene, to the extent that David Cronenberg actually discussed AICN in the FILM COMMENT interview, talking about the test screening review that ran here and how the reviewer was “obsessed” with Viggo’s balls in his review.

Watch out, Davecat! Fabfunk will find a way to creep you out someday too!

[Brad Millette]

I need a picture of Old Bruce Wayne screaming.

[cpnspaulding]

I thought that it would be an impossible feat to creep out Cronenberg. Proven wrong.

[Alan "Nordling" Cerny]

Hah, it didn't connect that Fabfunk's review was the one that Cronenberg was referencing. That's awesome/terrifying.

[Werbal_Kint]

HAHAHAHAH THE ACTUAL INTERVIEW (http://www.filmlinc.com/fcm/so07/cronenberg.htm)

INTERVIEWER: I found a piece that someone had posted on Ain’t It Cool News about having seen a preview of the film.
CRONENBERG: Was it the guy who was obsessed with Viggo’s balls?

I: I don’t know if I performed an act of repression, but I don’t remember seeing his balls.
C: You do see them. It’s just that they go by rather quickly.

I: Right. I meant I didn’t notice them in particular.
C:It wasn’t like there was a close-up of them. But this guy was obsessed. He even wrote “big hairy balls.” Well, that’s one way of looking at it. They’re definitely there, as you would imagine, but it’s only if you’re looking for them that that’s what you see. Because mostly he’s shot in full figure. So when people decide to run the DVD frame by frame, they are going to see everything at one point or another. Of course, a lot of the time it’s going to be slightly blurred because he’s in motion.

[Bailey]

So very funny.

[Martin Savage]

I'm actually afraid that Cronenberg uses his fear of this guy as the base for one of his next movie.

[stump]

This is why internet film sites get no respect.

[Andrew C]

Fabfunk, you lurking bastard,
You're actually proud of this aren't you?

Well you're fucking up the system with you desire to be famous.

[Death Surge]

Fabfunk creeps out a guy who Invented a sexual fetish involving car crash injuries?

Somehow, this fails to surprise me.

[Idiot Brigade]

I'm actually afraid that Cronenberg uses his fear of this guy as the base for one of his next movie.

I see it the other way around. He bases a character off of Fabfunk and has him die in a truly horrific way, sending a grizzly message to ol Fabbington to keep his distance.

[Martin Savage]

I see it the other way around. He bases a character off of Fabfunk and has him die in a truly horrific way, sending a grizzly message to ol Fabbington to keep his distance.

He won't get the message. Any of them, no matter how clear they are, unless it's carved off the flesh of a disease-ridden dying whore who's last wish was being dumped in a container in the worse ghetto in the city where the Funk works his mojo.

[Brad Millette]

Either way, he's probably masturbating about this.

[Doug]

Run, David! RUUUUUUN!
http://photos-648.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v81/64/109/26305648/n26305648_31149893_620.jpg

[Martin Savage]

They really are accepting anyone in the Lantern Corps these days.

[Anderson]

It hurts. It just hurts.

[MissZooey]

I have to say, it kind of makes sense that the universe would draw these two together eventually. I think Mr. Cronenberg is probably just freaked out because he thought he was making that shit up.

[Gabriel Williams]

Fabfunk creeps out a guy who Invented a sexual fetish involving car crash injuries?


JG Ballard wrote the original book, and it's a masterpiece. But I'm sure the Fabber would attest to the fact that it's difficult to read and get to vinegar strokes at the same time.

[Trav McGee]

CRONENBERG: Was it the guy who was obsessed with Viggo’s balls?

Man, potential sigs popping up left and right today.

I can see an assistant of Cronenberg's stumbling on this thread, pointing him to it, he sees the picture, and realizes, "Holy shit -- I had my arm around the balls guy!"

[EdHocken]

My faith in AICN continues to drop seeing how they continue to accept reports from this freak.

[Martin Savage]

AICN would accept the report from a Chernobyl squirrel if they could have a scoop 5 minutes in advance.

Fabfunk is typical business for them I guess.

[ChunkyLover53]

Death and depravity doesn't phase Cronenberg, but Fabfunk does.

[Richard Dickson]

I need a picture of Old Bruce Wayne screaming.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/dailyrich/waynestare.jpg

[EdHocken]

Dickson, alls I can say is:

http://web.lemoyne.edu/~hevern/weblog/photos/mission_accomplished.jpg

[Jason P. Thompson]

Holy shit, I love this thread.

[Luca S.]

Next: John Milius tells JWFokker to "lay off the insensitive remarks".

[Rob]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Richard Dickson again

[Joe LeFors]

Fuckin' fabfunk..

[Ahoatam]

thanks for the new CUT, fab.

[gravedigger]

I can see an assistant of Cronenberg's stumbling on this thread, pointing him to it, he sees the picture, and realizes, "Holy shit -- I had my arm around the balls guy!"

I am wishing for this so hard that I'm going to buy a hope chest and put this post in it.

[Rene (Mr.Eko)]

Fabfunk freaked out Cronenberg? Shit. Who'll he set his sights on next? David Lynch?

[wadew1]

Phase two begins now.
Expect to be contacted by Fabfunk soon, Cronenberg's Sister.

[dynamotv]

Fabfunk, you lurking bastard,
You're actually proud of this aren't you?

Well you're fucking up the system with you desire to be famous.

Imagine if you were able to do a stunt that made the Jackass crew go, "That's fucked up man." Wouldn't you be kinda proud of that? How many people can say they got to David Cronenburg?

[Ratty]

Fabfunk freaked out Cronenberg? Shit. Who'll he set his sights on next? David Lynch?

Gasper Noe and Takashi Miike are filing their restraining orders as we speak.

[Junior]

To be fair, isn't that the AICN review modus operandi? Compare the film to genitalia interacting with your face.

[EdHocken]

Gasper Noe and Takashi Miike are filing their restraining orders as we speak.

And yet Larry Clark has just advanced his meeting closer in time.

[Andre Dellamorte]

Cronenberg isn't freaked out, he's amused and probably thinks that Gabe is a not so well closeted homosexual.

[Nick Nunziata]

Fucked. And that is why he didn't write the review for this site.

[Phil]

I love that the review asserts that the movie is "barely R-rated" before the bath house scene. Sawing open throats, snipping off fingers, uterine hemhorraging, all PG material next to Viggo's taint.

[Jason P. Thompson]

Glad to hear that this is so balls to the wall.

[Chris Olson]

Glad to hear that this is so balls to the wall.

More like balls to the forehead, apparently.

[Patrick Ripoll]

God, this is so fucked. Awesome.

[Radb707]

All we do is add credit to the legend of fabfunk.

[Jason P. Thompson]

The legend writes itself, apparently.

[Bryan J]

I love that the review asserts that the movie is "barely R-rated" before the bath house scene. Sawing open throats, snipping off fingers, uterine hemhorraging, all PG material next to Viggo's taint.

This probably boils down to ball envy. Rated R for moments of manhood challenging ball imagery.

[NathanW]

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/5638/n1146750051300761031525ua7.jpg

Fabfunk approves of this thread.

[Bryan J]

And that is why mustaches are bad news.

[Radb707]

I personally still like the poster Dragon Ma posted awhile back.

http://img47.imageshack.us/img47/7831/iamfabfunk2du9.jpg

[Nexus-7]

I think that was the work of Litmus, but I may be mistaken.

Or myers87.

[Radb707]

I think that was the work of Litmus, but I may be mistaken.

Or myers87.

Could be. I only said he posted it a while back.

[EdHocken]

Ya know from that distance in the poster. Funk looks kind of like this a-hole co-worker I know of at the office.

[Andre Dellamorte]

It's the WB crotch, isn't it?

[Jason P. Thompson]

http://www.iamfabfunk.com/ ...still available!

[Russ Fischer]

I just scheduled an interview with Cronenberg. (For 8 fucking AM Sunday morning!)

I'm trying to decide if I even want to bring this up, if I can stretch it past the 15 minutes I've been alotted.

EDIT: In reality, there's no way I'd waste time on this. I drew up a prelim list of questions in about five minutes that would easily require an hour to go through. All more interesting than this.

[Alex Riviello]

You should however ask him what he thinks about Belladonna's retirement.

[billz]

It's impossible to marvel at the inclusion of flapping balls in a movie and not be gay. IMPOSSIBLE.

[NathanW]

http://www.kino-govno.com/trailers/3432t.jpg

[TzuDohNihm]

Run, David! RUUUUUUN!
http://photos-648.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v81/64/109/26305648/n26305648_31149893_620.jpg

Fuck. Now I have to go burn my shirt. And every GL book I own. Fuck.

[TzuDohNihm]

Fucked. And that is why he didn't write the review for this site.

Nick, are you intimating there are reviews you would run from fab?

[Ryan S~]

Fuck. Now I have to go burn my shirt. And every GL book I own. Fuck.

Imagine how Cronenberg must feel after having to burn that jacket, receive a series of injections, and a de-lousing bath.

[TzuDohNihm]

Imagine how Cronenberg must feel after having to burn that jacket, receive a series of injections, and a de-lousing bath.

They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing shit they throw on you, and...that's when you know it's for real. You've been fabfunked.

[NathanW]

Nevermind.

[Werewolf Girl]

This is probably the most entertaining CHUD/Cronenberg related news I've heard...ever. I just wish it didn't make me feel so ashamed.

[Ian]

I realise how much time you've got with the guy Russ, but it would be good to point out to Cronenberg that the guy obsessed with balls was the same guy who thought a good response to A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE was beating up a Hasidic Jew in a parking lot.

[Russ Fischer]

If I actually believed that story, it might be worth telling.

[Ian]

It's even funnier that way, I think - fabfunk comes out of a penetrating pscyhological movie about the lingering effects of violence, hops on the 'net, and tries to up his cred by loudly talking about the imaginary Jew he beat up for talking during the movie. I'm astonished that the man tries to pass himself off as a serious film fan sometimes.

[IggytheBorg]

This is probably the most entertaining CHUD/Cronenberg related news I've heard...ever. I just wish it didn't make me feel so ashamed.

What are you ashamed for? he didn't write the offending review in connection w/ CHUD. . .

[Greg Clark]

I'm astonished that the man tries to pass himself off as an actual human being sometimes.

Fixed.

[fabfunk]

Kind of an honor, actually. You know you're all jealous, anyway.

[wadew1]

Everyone knew that was coming, but still: LULZ

[Neal]

You live in a cloud of self-deception.

[Paul McCartney]

Many of you should actually be jealous of fabfunk:

1. He pals around with top directors.

2. He's mastered the art of conversing on the internet without resorting to weird, creepy, faintly depressing pathological bullying.

3. He has seen Viggo's swirling erotic nuts earlier than the rest of us.

[Spike Marshall]

Many of you should actually be jealous of fabfunk:



2. He's mastered the art of conversing on the internet without resorting to weird, creepy, faintly depressing pathological bullying.



Come now Paul, that there is the cornerstone of the Internet. If the anonymity of the Internet didn't allow ordinarily meek people to become complete dicks then we'd all have to do something vaguely productive, like talk about movies.

[Xagarath Ankor]

This thread has me amused.

[ryoken]

I am the only one in fear of Cronenberg actually finding these forums? I have no problem with the Viggo's scrotum on the big screen, but if Diva's ass inspires Cronenberg, we're screwed.
I can also say that in these weeks, Chud has presented me with horse sex documentaries, justice dep. pedophiles, morbidly fat people among other things, but this still is the creepiest thing so far.
Interestingly, we saw "The brood" on film class last monday...Croneberg creeped me, but he got creeped himself later. Weird.

[Werbal_Kint]

I get the feeling the only thing these forums would inspire in Cronenberg would be a round of heavy drinking.

[Greg Clark]

If the anonymity of the Internet didn't allow ordinarily meek people to become complete dicks then we'd all have to do something vaguely productive, like talk about movies.

Like Moonraker.