My affinity for Jesus Christ Superstar has been no secret, so the news that Universal is looking at (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb to direct a new version of the musical makes me feel a touch queasy. Especially when the Hollywood Reporter’s Risky Biz Blog says it could be a ‘modern, hipstery take.’ Great, just what we needed – a Jesus Christ with an ironic mustache and a trucker hat.

Webb’s apparently an incredibly nice guy, and his debut film is innocuous enough. Good for him for figuring out that the modern generation is dying to be marketed to, and that he can generate a hit by pandering to that desire. But while (500) Days is suitably slick and watchable, it doesn’t have a single moment that tells me he can do Jesus Christ Superstar, with its weird tackiness and shockingly deep spiritual themes and wonderfully off-kilter theology, justice.

And the hipster part. Ugh. I don’t want a JCS with songs by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah or Vampire Weekend (although it would be funny if Kickball Katy from The Vivian Girls played Mary Magdalene. I was buying her beers when she was 17). I don’t want a Jesus wearing a terrorist scarf. I don’t want any irony at all. The thing I like about JCS is that it’s so fucking sincere. It’s wonderful.

Apparently this is all still a long way away, so anything can change. I hope.

A bunch of familiar faces (Kate Beckinsale, Dakota Fanning, Guy Pearce, Forest Whitaker) at a diner all go through a massive ordeal when a gunman walks in and opens fire out of nowhere. The disturbed individual shoots without warning, killing a bunch of the patrons and staff before offing himself. The survivors all deal with it differently, but the one common thing is that they’re all a mess after their shocking experience. Kate Beckinsale’s character has no one to talk about her feelings with so she walks around in shock, unwittingly neglecting her baby. Dakota Fanning deals with her father’s death by becoming a Jesus freak and crying to the world the praises of her brave dad. Forest Whitaker survives the shooting and, thinking he’s that he’s the luckiest man in the world, heads straight off to a casino. Guy Pearce stopped by for a coffee just minutes before the murders occurred and now is wracked with guilt.

While the original title of the film was Winged Creatures (it’s based on the book of the same name), Fragments refers to a few things, from the shattered lives of the people involved to the way their minds refuse to see the whole picture of the event. You don’t fully know what happened in the diner until near the end of the film as you’re only shown the survivor’s repressed memories when they start remembering them.

If watching people walk around in a haze unwittingly trying to kill themselves to ease their pain sounds like fun to you, then you’ll love Fragments! The film starts off strong enough but soon you’ll realize that they didn’t know where to take it. “Talk out your problems, or you’ll go nuts and hurt yourself and your loved ones,” is pretty much the only message the film has to offer.

Well… of course! Who doesn’t know this? Fragments feels like it was written by a social worker, since the lone hero of the story is the guy sent by the hospital to get people talking. He’s the only character who is there for a few characters, and it’s only through his actions that people get healed and begin to move on. He’s the savior on the film, the deus ex machina, since obviously people can’t handle situations without his aid.

Yes, it’s scary to be a victim of violence, and some people never recover. Yes, it’s terrifying to think that most people on this Earth die alone and afraid, and you’re likely to go just the same way. But these are things that we all know and have pondered over since birth, that have been explored countless times before in every form of media, and the vastly over-simplified emotions displayed in this film offer nothing original.

In the press notes the director states that he was interested in making
a film that “confronted the hypocrisy of the US gun lobby without being
overtly political”, which is beyond strange considering what the film
is. The fact that the violence was committed by a man wielding a gun
doesn’t change anything in the film- he could have been stabbing
everyone, or just smashed into the diner with a car. The gun isn’t the
focus, the impact of sudden violence and death in people’s lives
is.

There’s some interesting stuff here and some powerful performances from
terrific actors, of that there’s no doubt. As a concept it still has potential, but the movie meanders just like its stars and you’re left wondering just what you sat through.

Contributing sources: The internet

As
much TV as you think you watch, Uncle Mitch watches more. 
With beer in hand at all times.  He’s a mythological figure
and a great source of fun and special times.  At any given
time, his blood alcohol level is somewhere around the ratings for
American Idol.  But that doesn’t stop this drunk bitch from
sharing his insights on the week’s TV news.

Katie Holmes’ Not In Sex And The City Sequel?

Mrs. Cruise has shot down rumors that she’s been offered a role in the
upcoming Sex and the City sequel as a feisty businesswoman and rival to
Kim Cattrall’s Samantha.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Tom already let her out of the house once this year and this happened:

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Set To Return

After taking a hiatus while the couple prepared divorce proceedings, Jon & Kate Plus 8 is set to return to TLC next week where the show “will continue to capture this family’s journey in a sincere and sensitive way.”

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Looking forward to the spinoff: Jon & Kate Plus Deanna Hummel, Steve Neild, Lawyers and Child Welfare Services…


Oprah Bomb Scare Is A False Alarm

A mysterious package that arrived at Oprah Winfrey’s studio and sparked a bomb scare turned out to be a false alarm.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Apparently someone was just trying to return the purse with Stedman’s balls in it…

Lisa Kudrow Based Friends Character on Jennifer Aniston

Lisa Kudrow recently revealed that she patterned her flighty, hippy character of Phoebe on friend and former co-satr Jennifer Aniston due to the actresses interest in spiritual subjects.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Unfortunately, Matt LeBlanc based his post-Friends career on Klinton Spilsbury.

Lastest Bachelorette Installment Ends in Two Proposals

The Bachelorette star Jillian Harris received two proposals in the recent finale of the show, accepting the one from suitor, Ed Swiderski.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Wishful thinking from the above headline: Bachelorette Ends.

House Creator Has Been Tapped To Remake Rockford Files

House creator, David Shore, was recently hired by NBC to remake the popular 1970s TV detective show that starred James Garner.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: With Pontiac gone, let’s see ’em remake his Firebird…

Syfy Assures GLAAD That They Will Be Better Represented In The Future

The former Sci-Fi Channel has made overtures to expand diversity following receiving a failing grade by GLAAD’s Network Responsibility Index, which measures the representation of LGBT characters on TV.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: And thus, Wifflebottom’s Gay Future is assured:

Fox Will Not Air Family Guy’s Abortion Episode

“Fox will not air the ‘Partial Terms of Endearment’ episode of Family Guy,
but we fully support the producers’ right to make the episode and
distribute it in whatever way they want,” read a statement from the network.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Abortion episode? Which one?

HOT SHEET DISCUSSION

Despite the fact that there’s just no good reason to do a Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (except unmitigated greed), Disney is moving ahead with just such a film. After redefining cinematic excess in the last film, Gore Verbinski looks to be sitting this one out and according to Variety Rob Marshall may be taking his place.

Marshall directed Chicago and has the musical Nine coming later this year (an all-singing, all-dancing version of 8 1/2); he would certainly bring a new sensibility to the franchise, although I can’t help but wonder if this wouldn’t be like the decision to put Joel Schumacher on the Batman films. The Pirates movies are already pretty arch, and while none of Marshall’s work has been particularly campy, it’s not hard to imagine him taking this sort of film less seriously than his usual Oscar bait.

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer is keen to get this ship sailing ASAP. He wants to make Pirates 4 before he and Johnny Depp move on to do The Lone Ranger. Marshall may have a deal signed soon and could be deep in pre-production by the time he begins doing press for Nine later this year.

BUY FROM AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Smirk
MSRP: $17.87
RATED: X
RUNNING TIME: 81 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Still gallery

The Pitch
 
Old rich white guy sends town into amorality just because he can.

The Humans
 
Starring Ole Soltoft, Karl Seger, Preben Mahrt and Lone Helmer
Written and directed by Werner Hedman

The Nutshell
  
When the richest man in the most moral town in Denmark dies, he stipulates that the town, which due to his generosity does not pay taxes, would get his fortune on the condition that an out of wedlock child is born in the next sign of the Taurus. Problem is: no one of childbearing age knows anything about sex, so the girls and guys take lessons from the town whore and her boyfriend. Really it’s a coming of age story, without all that bullshit love thrown in.

The Lowdown
 
I have to hand it to the Danes, they are not above letting things like fucking get in the way of plot and character. Sometimes, they almost fool you into thinking you’re watching an actual movie. And though it doesn’t strike the plot/sex balance that ‘In the Sign of the Virgin’ had, ‘Taurus’ perhaps works slightly better as an actual movie. Unfortunately, if we’re watching this, we’re not looking for an actual movie with plots and motivations (though those things are nice). As a porno movie, it’s average. It’s sure as hell a lot funnier than most porno movies. Intentionally funny, that is.
  

Like all great movies, ‘In the Sign of the Taurus’ has a message. I am almost certain that message is sex is awesome. Beyond that, a deeper meaning perhaps, is the message of morality and how a self-appointed few cannot be the standard bearers of decency, especially when they themselves are not decent. Sure, it’s shoehorned in during an awkward striptease/monologue that is so very European, but I applaud the effort. They are at least attempting subtext, which is something I can appreciate when the product itself is, by its nature, only skin deep.
   
The acting is a cut above your standard titty flick. Fans of the ‘In the Sign of…’ films (which is a group comprised of myself) will recognize Ole Soltoft as the charismatic doctor. Though he never engages in any on screen sex himself, he is clearly in a different movie than everyone else. He’s the straight man (ba dum) to this house of clowns.
 
It’s actually odd, seeing a recognizable male face in a porn movie; we’re conditioned nowadays to treat the guys (save for like Tommy Gunn or Peter North) as cocks there to fill holes. And to recognize the face and antics of a guy who isn’t even fucking? Very odd. But Soltoft has a charm and a manner about him that’s irresistible. He’s fun, like a deranged, Danish Chaplin almost.
  

Oh yeah, the sex. The best part is that although the plot is ridiculous, the Danish try their best to incorporate the sex into the story; in this case, a town’s awakening to sexual desire. Ebert said that a full on sex scene would never work because the narrative flow is stopped dead in its tracks. For the most part, he’s right and ‘Taurus’ does suffer a stop in the plot, but they get an a for effort. It’s not random fucking, they’re essentially character moments. Add the artistic spin many of them have and they are thoroughly enjoyable. The big sex hoedown, for instance, involves frantic, repressed mothers searching for their girls and we cross between the moms and the daughters going at it. It’s that little extra thought, the putting of ‘movie’ into ‘porno movie’ that makes these Danish Tegn films enjoyable, even if they aren’t actually ‘good’.

 
The girls are good looking, nubile and best of all, willing to go the distance. There’s very few things more erotic than a beautiful, naked girl who is thrilled to be having sex. So what if they have a ton of bush (they even make light of this particular 70s trope in an over the top scene featuring a barber that looks just like some Spiderman villain).
  
If you are in need to get your rocks off but also want a little humor as you’re jerking it, I’d definitely suggest ‘In the Sign of the Taurus’, or indeed any of the films in the series. They’re not high art, nor are they low porn, they strike a chord right in the middle and remind you that just because a movie is there for your carnal enjoyment doesn’t mean it has to be entirely stupid and terrible.

The Package
   
Same as always, the only special feature is the still gallery featuring funny, embarrassing but mostly sexy, sexy photos. The transfer is pretty and the sound is used to great comedic effort.

Take a look at the newly revealed Mass Effect 2 box art:

The tacky green border isn’t doing the cover any favors, but that art looks like it belongs on a Nintendo cartridge. Frankly, it could have been much worse. They could have done that thing where Shepard has his back turned to us and is nonchalantly looking over his left shoulder, with a starclipse or a nebula or some shit rising up over his right. And he’s got a rifle dangling from one of his hands.

The adventures of cranky Mega Ma- er, Commander Shepard continue in early 2010.

All right, what the hell is going on? How is it that for the second year in a row I’m completely enamored by a foreign vampire movie? How is this happening? Vampire movies aren’t supposed to be good, damn it, they aren’t supposed to do original things. They’re supposed to trivialize themes of love and darkness and pander to an annoying audience that eats it all up regardless of quality. But last year Let The Right One In went against the grain and became one of the best films (yes, not just horror films, FILMS) of the decade.

Now Park Chan-wook’s Thirst is hitting theaters in the US, and it’s my job to tell you that the internet has been performing a grave disservice to you, folks. Thirst is not a horror movie. Sure, it’s got moments of vicious, mind-numbing gore, and is way too bizarre for a mainstream audience to know what to make of, but it’s more of a love story than anything. A twisted and depraved love story, to be sure, but it’s one that warms the heart while it makes you cringe at all the violence.

Sang-hyun (Song Kang-ho) is a priest who volunteers at a local hospital, talking to patients and making sure they all get sent to their imaginary afterlives. We meet him as he’s questioning everything about his life and finally decides to volunteer in a medical experiment in Africa, possibly sacrificing his life in order to save others. He’s purposely infected with the incurable Emmanuel Virus (EV) which gives people horrible boils that spread all over and inside their bodies before finally killing them, but Sang-hyun somehow manages to make a complete recovery and survive.

He’s the only patient of 500 to do so.

News quickly spreads and people start flocking to the bandaged man of the cloth to pray for them and heal their wounds. He meets a few old childhood friends because of this, most significantly a girl named Tae-ju (played by the incredibly sexy and talented Kim Ok-bin) that he used to like as a kid, who is now locked into a loveless marriage to a man dying of cancer Like many others, her husband claims that his cancer went into remission after being prayed over by the priest. Sang-hyun is miserable at this attention because even though people claim to have been healed by him he knows it’s only psychosomatic.

Soon after, his EV relapses in the harshest way ever, and he starts coughing up enormous amounts of blood, seemingly dying in the night. He wakes up the next day with the sunlight burning his skin and he hides in the closet till nighttime to find out that he’s got urges for that sweet red human juice.

While Sang-hyun is coping with his new reality (and stopping by the hospital for a quick drink now and then) he strikes up a relationship with Tae-ju and her family, heading over once a week for a game of majong. It’s obvious that there’s sexual tension in the air between the two, until it explodes in a rage of passion one night. Things seem doomed for the two from the start, as secrets start to be revealed from both sides and their plans for the future become more and more depraved.

I’m sure you know a couple that’s absolutely horrible for each other, yet absolutely perfect in the same way. There’s a lid for every pot, as the saying goes, and fucked-up individuals can find people who complete them, even if it’s not the conventional definition of love.

The couple in Thirst is exactly this. While the film does have its very sweet and cute moments this is a love story for deviants. If it were about a priest and a married woman alone it would make for the ultimate taboo, but their relationship becomes increasingly disturbed and violent as the story progresses. No matter how decent Sang-hyun tries to be he ends up destroying lives and relationships and becomes exactly what he hoped he wouldn’t.

If this sounds like an incredibly dark film, well, it is and it isn’t. Korean films are unlike any other in the world as they have no problem taking you from an incredibly dramatic and serious scene right into a slapstick comedy. It’s frequently very funny, in fact, and the silly humor helps to steel you against the darker moments of the film.

The one complaint you could make is that the movie doesn’t seem to know when to end. At 133 minutes it’s quite a long experience, and although it moves at a fast clip you’ll note a moment that could have been the perfect ending and knocked a good 20 minutes off the running time.

But for a film that explores so many themes, those of sexuality, religion, love and humanity- you can easily allow the film some leeway. There’s a reason that Park Chan-wook is one of the most beloved directors of our time, and Thirst is yet another example of what a prodigious filmmaker he is.

Randy only appears in Funny People for moments but he’s already broken out in a big way. There’s a two-part documentary about the character on Funny or Die and now Judd Apatow is considering doing an entire movie about the fake comedian played by real comedian Aziz Ansari.

A couple of weeks back I had a chance to talk to Aziz about Randy, his NBC show Parks and Recreation and what else he has brewing. I kicked things off with an oblique reference to Sean Combs’ Twitter feed, which I know Aziz follows closely…

Are you now or have you ever been locked in?

I’m always locked in! I just worked with him on Get Him to the Greek.

How was that?

He was funny, man. He brought it, and he’s a good improviser. He’s
locked in! He’s not messing around. When he’s doing something he’s
focused and locked in. He doesn’t come on set popping bottles of Ciroc
and throwing around Sean John at people. He’s locked in and he’s in the
game. I was really impressed; he’s really funny.


Is it weird meeting him after your funny Twitter interactions?


I met him briefly a few times here and there. He knows me from
something, but I’m not sure what he knows me from. At the table read
for Get Him to the Greek he said, ‘I know you, right?’ and I said,
‘Yeah, we’ve met a few times.’ He said, ‘You send me messages on
Twitter, right?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah I send you messages on Twitter.
Why don’t you follow me?’ He was like, ‘Oh, I thought I hit follow.’ He
sent me a MySpace friend request and it was from Diddy and I thought it
had to be a fake account – but it wasn’t! So I approved it and sent a
message like, ‘After much consideration I have decided to approve your
friend request,’ and he was like ‘Thank you! Happiness forever! Let’s
goooooo!’


When I saw the A Night of Funny People concert, Randy killed. He’s not
in the movie a lot but it seems like everything else around the movie –
a lot of the publicity – is about him.

It’s really Judd and Seth and Evan, those guys, they really got into
Randy. We had a lot of fun with the character and we had these ideas
and there wasn’t enough time to explore that stuff in the movie so we
made that documentary and the website. It was really fun. It’s a small
character in the movie, but I’m happy people responded to it so we
could do the other stuff we’ve done. I’m glad to be working with Jason
Woliner, the guy who directed Human Giant. To work with Judd on that,
Evan Goldberg… it was really fun.


Some of the Randy material is stuff that you did in your regular act?


That show at the Orpheum I was only supposed to do a small set but the
audience got really into it and Judd said I should go out and do more
stuff, so I had to dip into the Aziz well, I couldn’t stop doing Randy
and do Aziz, so I sort of Randyied up my material to fill time. Some
people were like, ‘Man you do that joke as yourself!’ but yeah, I was
supposed to do ten minutes and then I had to do thirty. But I try to
keep a separation of Randy and Aziz. I just shot a standup special for
Comedy Central and there’s a Randy chunk where I’m wearing all sequins
and throwing money at the audience and the DJ is there and dancers and
smoke, but then the other 50 minutes are my own standup as myself.

Where did Randy come from?

When I first got to set Judd described the guy, a really confident,
cocky character. He kept describing the character and I thought he’d
have a catch phrase, and a dance and all this stuff and we started
coming up with all these ideas. It wasn’t so much a dig on a particular
comedian as it was the idea of ‘What would Soulja Boy do if he was in
standup comedy?’ He’d have a DJ, he’d have his own dance, all his jokes
would be like the Randy jokes, he’d have dumb catch phrases. It’s more
inspired by that than by any particular comedian; obviously there are
little bits of different comedians here and there and seeing a Def Jam
comic taken to an extreme, but it’s not about anyone specific.


Randy has this thing where it’s all about the energy and the catch phrases and the jokes are like an afterthought.

I do think the jokes work. If you told the jokes without all of that
they would still get a laugh. You can’t go on stage and just say ‘I got
my dick sucked today!’ and have people start laughing. You can’t just
jump up and yell ‘I got my dick sucked!’, you have to have some concept
behind it. I think the jokes work.


Are you surprised that Randy has hit like this?

It’s a minor part in the movie, so yeah it’s crazy that it took off to
the level where we’ve made a documentary and all that stuff. It’s
flattering.

How does having the TV show change things for you?


I did a recurring character on Scrubs, but this is the most I’ve done
of one character. It’s fun getting in that groove and doing something a
little more grounded than the sketch stuff in Human Giant, which is
people exploding all the time. It’s been really fun. I’m psyched to do
the second season.

You had a short first season. Do you feel like you hit your stride yet?

I feel like we’re still growing into it but I think we’re going to hit
a spot where we’re as good as these other shows like 30 Rock and The
Office. We can hit our stride the same way those shows did.

What’s the status of Human Giant?

They offered us a third season but we couldn’t do it because we were
all doing other things. As far as the show, it’s on hold. But I still
see those guys all the time. We could work together on a movie or
something.

There are also all these other outlets for the sketch stuff you guys do. There’s Funny or Die and everything –

Yeah, doing the documentary with Jason was fun. We all work together in
different ways; hopefully on Parks and Recreation Paul [Scheer] and Rob
[Huebel] can do something. I think we’ll still work together.

The Randy documentary is pretty great.


In part two you see his apartment and find out he was a cop who shot a
kid. The stuff in his apartment was kind of inspired by Jerry
Seinfeld’s Comedian documentary, when you see Orny Adams’ apartment. We
watched that and did the Randy version of that – ‘Jewish Material,’
‘Getting My Dick Sucked.’ Then you see the tour he did with some
friends of his, and that’s sort of like the Tourgasm for Randy. We
don’t have anything as crazy as the porn. What’s crazy about that is we
were talking to Judd and he said, ‘How did you find the footage of the
two guys high-fiving?’ and I was like, ‘We shot that!’ We filmed Evan
Stone! We filmed Marcus London. Me and Jason shot that. Everyone was
really into that joke, and I was like thank God, because me and Woliner
shot a porn!


What is Evan Stone like to work with?

He’s so funny, man. He’s so hilarious. You’d be talking to him and you
wouldn’t even realize but he’d be jerking off. [Mimes jerking off]
‘Yeah, so I used to work at Medieval Times and then I got spotted, and
next thing you know I’m doing this. What are your favorite restaurants?’

While Judd Apatow’s Funny People is mostly about the relationship between barely up and not quickly coming comic Ira Wright and comedy legend and shitty movie star George Simmons, other characters play pivotal roles in both the plots and themes (and yes, Funny People is the kind of movie with themes!). One of them is Leo, played by Jonah Hill. Jonah lives with Ira and their third roommate, Mark (Jason Schwartzman), who has found some success on a really terrible sitcom. The competition and backstabbing between the three roomies form a fundamental part of the story.

The world of Funny People is very specific, and sitting down with Jonah Hill for the second time in a couple of weeks (I had recently spoken to him on the set of a film), I wanted to really get into the nitty gritty of being a comedy nerd. So much of the film was obviously based on the real experiences of everyone involved that I wanted to explore what it was like being a comedian in LA trying to get ahead.

Be warned: there are some spoilers (mild, I think, but make up your own mind) for the end of Leo’s storyline.

I was talking to some people yesterday who saw the film and we were
being nerdy about it and we wondered if all the stuff that your
characters have their in their apartment – the photos and albums from
classic comedy acts – in your opinion as a guy in the comedy scene, how
tuned in do you think younger comedy nerds are to that history?


When I first met Adam Sandler he told me ‘You remind me of Judd Apatow
because you and Judd have this encyclopedic knowledge of people way
before your time.’ This is right when I met Judd and didn’t know him
very well; I met Adam first, actually. I can only speak for me and my
friends – and maybe that’s why we all connected so well when we became
friends – but Redd Foxx and Don Rickles and Pryor and Bill Hicks and
Lenny Bruce… my idea is that if you’re going to pursue something like
comedy, you should know all the people who are legendary in that field.
If you’re aspiring to be a professional baseball player, you’d know who
Jackie Robinson was and Willie Mays and Sandy Koufax.

As a film nerd there’s always that film nerd thing – ‘You haven’t seen
that movie?’ – and I guess it’s the same for comedy nerds.

Exactly. When we talk about film we always reference obscure films that
inspired us, and that’s why we become friends or work with the same
people a lot, because the same things influence us. When we work with a
new director or someone joins our circle of friends, Seth and I always
talk about ‘They like the same stuff as us. They like Lebowski and King
of Comedy, they’re obsessed with the same stuff we’re obsessed with,
like Defending Your Life.’ It’s easy to know you want to work with
someone when their references and the things they worship are the same
things that you worship.


In all of Judd’s films the characters feel like real people, but maybe
even moreso in Funny People, because these characters have real,
serious flaws, not just funny flaws. Your character is really
interesting to me because you might be the funniest of the group and
you hate Yo Teach and in the end you’re on it. Do you feel like he’s
selling out?



That’s what’s so interesting about the character – he just wants
success. Early on I totally would have done that. I could see myself
doing that in a heartbeat – hating some shitty sitcom but needing a job
and getting on it and trying to convince other people it’s the best
thing since sliced bread. I think that’s a lot of the movie; it’s about
these guys and all these people finding out what they would do for
success. What part of you would you throw away? What part of your
morals would you throw away? What part of your integrity would you
throw away? That’s the ultimate joke of Leo, my character, in that the
guy could talk more shit than anybody but then the guy gets in. It’s
like the classic thing of when you try to be on a team – they don’t
want you as a member so you’re like, ‘Fuck them.’ Then they want you
and you think it’s the best team in the universe.

Watching the dynamic of these three characters, the competitive aspect
of that, it’s such a huge part of Hollywood. The group that you’re part
of, the guys you keep working with, is there a competitive aspect to
that?


We joked around a lot while making this movie that we’re the least
competitive people ever. I think about Seth and Schwartzman in
particular, guys I’ve known for years and who had success far before I
had any success. When I met Seth he had already shot Freaks and Geeks,
and when I had met Schwartzman he had already shot Rushmore. I never
looked at it like ‘Fuck them! I wish I was on Freaks and Geeks and
Rushmore!’ I looked at it like it was good for them and I knew that if
I worked hard enough something good would come my way. I didn’t know
what it would be, specifically, and I never imagined it would turn out
as well as it did, but I thought if I worked hard and was interesting
and funny something would come of it. There would be times when we
would all be up for the same thing, and we would all want it for
ourselves, but I couldn’t be more happy for the success of a friend of
mine. That’s the difference between the characters and us.

But you must know people like that.


My character’s based on real people we knew coming up. Not like it was
way back in the old days or anything! But when we were starting. The
main thing I brought to my character, which Seth and I talked about a
lot and which Judd and I talked about a lot, is that I wanted Leo to be
completely joyless when creating comedy. There are a couple of moments
in the movie which are my favorites of my character, and one is where
Leo is writing jokes and it looks more like he’s solving a math problem
then having any fun at all. Another is when he walks off stage, and
this was one of the first things we shot and Seth and I laugh about it
because it’s really based on people we knew, he walks off stage and
joylessly says, ‘I killed.’ It was all about advancement and figuring
out the problem as opposed to joy. We have so much joy in a writing
session, laughing and moving around, and then there are people you work
with who just look like they’re doing their taxes.

How does that work? It seems to me that if you’re not laughing, how can you be creating something funny?

It’s fascinating to me, but I’d say in our line of work most of the people are joyless about it.


You’ve hit a level of success, but do you find that with that level it
becomes harder not to pull a Leo and sell out because the amounts of
money being thrown at you are so ridiculous?


Fortunately I love the Duplass Brothers movie I did, which I did for no
money and just did it for the passion and love of the movie, but the
other sort of movies I love are commercial movies. So it’s not really
like I’m trying to do some arthouse heroin movie every time.

But there are good commercial movies are there are bad commercial movies.


You just have to work harder. The two guys who have helped me the most
in my career as far as learning are Judd and Sacha Baron Cohen. They’re
two guys who have a large amount of success monetarily from making good
movies that are appreciated by people. It’s because they work hard. The
bottom line is that if you work really hard on our kind of movie – the
harder you work the better it is. There’s a lazy way to do it, which is
you take Jonah and another comedy person and then you just have them in
a really big premise and see what happens and hopefully they’ll riff
and something will happen. But what I learned is that story and
characters are everything, and the more time and energy you put into
that and really sit down and do the work [the better it will be]. Judd
and Sacha taught me it’s all about sitting down and doing the work. If
you sit down every day and focus on the work… there’s a ton of
semi-successful talented people. Everyone who has success doing what I
do has some comedic talent, or else they wouldn’t be there at all, but
it’s about how hard you choose to work once you’re there. I just hope
to keep getting opportunities to work really hard. I could have been in
a dozen movies that wouldn’t fit what I wanted to do, and they would be
huge, but I’m really proud of the movies I have coming out and the
movies I’ve done since I’ve been in a position to choose.


How was it doing the stand up?


I did not enjoy it at all. That was the hardest I worked to prepare for
a movie, and I really saw what the people I worship went through to get
where they are. We did it for six months prepping, a couple of times a
week, and you just learn that is a separate skillset. It’s remarkable
when you watch a guy like Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock or Louis CK go
up there and destroy, the years of work that went into that. I don’t
think people understand.


Why was it tough for you? As an outsider it seems like someone who is a
good performer and a good writer should be a good standup.

We always talk about movies together, right? What I’ve always been
interested in are scenes and movies. I come up with concepts that…
I’ll give you an example of a joke that I had that always bombed, every
time, horrifically. The idea of the joke works, and maybe would work in
a scene where it was two people talking about it. The idea of the joke
is you know there’s a stereotype amongst ignorant white people that
Asian people are terrible drivers? Do you think there’s a stereotype
amongst ignorant Asian people that white people are like incredible
drivers. Which is an idea that in itself is pretty funny, it’s not a
terrible idea, but this joke would for whatever reason have tumbleweeds
go across the stage. Nothing. But maybe if I sat down with another
writer and wrote that out and had it discussed in a scene in a movie it
might have worked. It’s just about my confidence as a standup comic;
the timing is different and you’re talking into a microphone. Even a
talk show is great because you’re basically doing standup but you have
one of the funniest people ever if you’re on Conan who you’re riffing
with. So I just have a tremendous amount of respect for the comics I
worship. Seth and I once went on before Louis CK and thought we did
pretty well, and then we watched Louis CK go on and the man just tore
the house down. He’s been doing standup every night for 20 years.
You’re dealing with a professional. You’re dealing with Barry Bonds or
Michael Jordan. And you realize you’re in the farm team. But not every
standup comedian has the skills to start a film career, and it’s the
same vice versa.

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE
STUDIO: 20th Century Fox
MSRP: $19.98
RATED: R
RUNNING TIME: 110 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES: 

• Commentary Track
• Deleted Scenes
• Featurette
• Trailers

The Pitch

Crank meets Guy Ritchie, except less fun and nowhere near as smart.

The Humans

Director: Randall Miller

Writer: Randall Miller and Jody Savin

Cinematographer: Mike Ozier

Cast: Alan Rickman, Bryan Greenberg, Shawn Hatosy, Mary Steenburgen, Bill Pullman, Eliza Dushku, Danny DeVito, Lindy Booth, Tracey Walter, Ted Danson, Ernie Hudson

The Nutshell

The son of a Nobel Prize winner is kidnapped and $2 million is demanded for his return. None of that matters because what this movie is really about is the awesomeness of Alan Rickman.

The Lowdown

There is a lot wrong with Nobel Son, yet at the end of the film I found I enjoyed it despite its shortcomings.

The biggest problem with the movie is the fact it is style over substance. The writing team of Randall Miller and Jody Savin conjured up a story with so many twists and turns, it leaves your head spinning. It is clear, both story-wise and stylistically, the duo owe a great deal of debt to Guy Ritchie. Whether it is the title cards, the double crosses met with double crosses, or the hyper-realized editing, the movie tries to be much cooler than it can ever actually achieve. I also see many similarities in the camera work of this and the Neveldine/Taylor film Crank, but Nobel Son never reaches the fun that movie exhibits. Nobel Son is a movie that tries to be something it can never actually attain. It is ironic, because that is the basis of the plot as well.

Eli Michaelson is an asshole. He is a university professor who is hated by his colleagues, treats his wife poorly and his son even worse. He is a liar, a cheat and a self righteous son of a bitch. He is also portrayed brilliantly by Alan Rickman. I understand Rickman is one of the nicest men you will ever meet in Hollywood yet, looking at roles like Snape in Harry Potter and Han Gruber in Die Hard, you might believe he is the prick he portrays so well. Even when he is a good guy, such as the Metatron in Dogma, he still comes across arrogant and snide. His role as Eli is the cherry on the sundae and may be the most hateful man he will ever get the opportunity to portray.

On the other end of the spectrum is his son, Barkley, a slacker who is working on a thesis paper on cannibalism while spending all his time at a coffee shop playing his game boy and drinking free milk. He also spends time at the coffee shop during horrid poetry readings where he pines over a strange girl named City Hall. It is made clear he is a disappointment to his father and will never achieve the level of respect that Eli has over the years. When Eli gets word he has received a respected Nobel Prize, everyone’s world is turned upside down. Eli lets everyone know they can all now kiss his ass. Barkley knows he will never hear the end of it now that his already arrogant father has fuel added to his fire. Added to the equation is Eli’s wife Sarah, who knows her husband cheats on her and allows him to degrade her, possibly thanks to an inner sense of masochism. It is a very strange family unit.

The movie is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Barkley is kidnapped by a very smart young man named Thaddeus the night before the family is to leave for Sweden to receive Eli’s prize. When Eli refuses to believe Barkley has actually been kidnapped, he is sent a thumb and told Barkley will be killed unless he pays the ransom of $2 million, the exact prize money from the prize. Thaddeus is a dark character who believes what he is doing is noble and right. He is also a genius. This is where the movie doesn’t just drift from reality, but flies right off the tracks.

The plan to get the money is to have it placed in the back of a mini cooper in a shopping mall and then use a remote control to have the car drive around the mall, burst through a wall of a store under construction and then be switched out with a duplicate car that takes off out of the other side of the wall, leaving the first car hidden. The way this is achieved is to have Thaddeus build a second car from scratch in an hour and somehow cover the first car when it busts in and have the duplicate car burst out in a matter of seconds. It is ludicrous and is just one of many things in this movie that you have to just shake your head and move on from.

So, what makes a movie this ridiculous work? The acting is magnificent. As I said before, Rickman is pitch perfect as someone you would want to kill if you met him on the street yet remains funny throughout the film. You can’t help but shake your head and smile when he steals every scene he is involved in. Mary Steenburgen is also great as the polar opposite of Rickman, a police detective who is a genius in her own right. Shawn Hatosy is very good in his role as the psychotic kidnapper who has a lot more going on under the hood than you could imagine. Let’s just say money is the least of his worries when he makes the decision to kidnap Barkley. Bryan Greenberg is also good as the protagonist of the story Barkley, although he is the least interesting until the final twist of the film. Finally, I have to say that Eliza Dushku makes me remember why I love her so much. When she strips down to her panties and says “don’t hurt me” I fell in love all over again.

The ending was a great role reversal but the script has so much going on that it shortchanges this and leaves things a bit confusing. When Eli stares at the culprits and accuses them of being behind the entire kidnapping, I think he meant the final twist but at the same time I originally thought he was trying to say they were behind the entire plan which is impossible if you try to follow the plot. Actually, it is better not to follow the plot. Just watch the great acting on display and just let the movie lead you where it wants. Don’t think about how you got there because I don’t even think the writers know for sure.

The Package

There is a fun group commentary with Miller, Savin, Greenberg and Dushku. They share anecdotes as well as technical information and it never gets boring. There is also a short feature that amounts to nothing more than a love fest between cast and crew. Also included are three deleted scenes, two showing Barkley during his revenge and another explaining in detail what City Hall had to do with everything,

5.5 out of 10