UPDATED! Ryan Rotten weighs in at the end of this piece.

Fair enough. Welcome to the Jungle is about four kids who go to New Guinea and film themselves as they blunder about and eventually get eaten by cannibals. The movie is made up of their “last known footage.” On the other hand, Cannibal Holocaust is about four kids who go to South America and film themselves as they blunder about and eventually get eaten by cannibals. The movie is made up of their “last known footage.” And if that’s not different enough, in Welcome to the Jungle they’re in South America looking for a famous missing person while in Cannibal Holocaust they’re in South America to investigate cannibal culture. Could these be any more obviously completely different films?

UPDATE! I got this email from Ryan Rotten just now: How delusional and unconnected is Hensleigh?  There was no air of secrecy about my presence at that AFM screening (I was fully registered there) and my opinions didn’t appear on just "any blog."  Hensleigh obviously misinterpreted either what I had written or the word-of-mouth that spread when I posted my thoughts.  Keep in mind, not once did I mention he directly remade the film.  But was Holocaust a heavy influence?  Abso-fuckin’-lutely.  To deny that is pure ignorance and a blatant bitch slap in the face of horror fans.  Calling my write-up an act of “irresponsible” Internet reporting, er, blogging is a negligent knee-jerk reaction on his behalf and I’d love to hear his defense when the film goes wide and other genre fans are given a chance to take this one in.  Of course, I wish him the best of luck getting his picture out there – to shoot a film under the radar like this is to be admired and certainly seen.  It’s an interesting experiment, but denial is never a good thing.

BUY IT FROM AMAZON: CLICK HERE!

STUDIO: Lurker Films, Inc

MSRP: $19.95

RATED: PG-13

RUNNING TIME: Approx. 100 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:

· Subtitles in English, French, German, Finnish, Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese

· Documentary on Robert W. Chambers

· Bonus footage of audition, slides, and deleted scenes

· Short films The King in Yellow and Tupilak

· 8-page full color booklet on the films and Robert W. Chambers

Can you imagine what she’d look like if she really was Rick Moranis’ daughter?

The Nutshell

Director Aaron Vanek took the advice "shoot the script" a little too literally.

The Lowdown

Special Guest Star: Clint Howard.

Shawna Waldron (Tess), best known to us as “Ice Box” from Little Giants, was actually a pretty decent actress. She kind of surprised me with her performance, and I really enjoyed her in this. Dale Snowberger (Aubrey), however, not so much. He doesn’t seem very suited to play this part. He gets the creepiness across without a problem, but I had a hard time believing his sinister side. David Reynolds (Ghost-keeper) does such an excellent Tor Johnson impression the entire film that I half expected Vampira to pop up behind him at some point.

You’re going to hate this hallway. Trust me.

Tupilak and The King In Yellow are technically listed as extras on the DVD, but they are both short films that, for better or worse, stand out in their own way. Tupilak is an entirely effective and creepy tale by David Leroy that, dare I say, was much better than The Yellow Sign. Every shot was beautiful, the acting was superb, and was one of the best short films I have ever seen. The King In Yellow, however, felt more like someone bought a video camera and decided to run around a hospital with it. Also included is Chambers In Paris, a short documentary that is probably only of interest to die-hard Robert Chambers fans.

Instead of just bumping the one article for the CHUD Podcast,
I’m going to give each installment their own so that we can build this
thing up a little better and keep it fresh. Of course fresh isn’t
exactly on the menu with these shows due to the meandering craziness of
them, but you get my drift. To listen to this show directly on CHUD, click here.

And hey, we need Chewer Voice Mails for future shows, so please call us at 1-678-827-0940. You have a 3 minute recording window.

Enjoy!

To subscribe to the Podcast, go to Itunes and find CHUD SHOW
in their "Movies and Television" category (help us succeed on there and
find new listeners!). You can find it on Podcastalley right here if you want to vote for us and help us out. I’d ask you to follow Micah’s instructions:

"A)
Just go to the iTunes store, click on "Podcasts" in the "Choose Store"
menu. In the "Search Podcasts" field, just type "CHUD," and presto, we
appear. You can use the search field in the upper-right hand corner of
the program or the one in the mid-left of the "Podcast" window.

If
you use any other podcatching software and are subscribing for the
first time, just paste that same address into your "Feed" field or
however your respective program gets podcasts."

Official Podcast Discussion.

Submit a question for a future Podcast here.

Your One-Stop Harrassment Shop (SEND A LETTER)

James:

Is it
common practice for CHUD members to send private messages to other members,
harrassing them at their home email address?

My
7-year-old son opened our email this evening and got a profanity-laced email
from a CHUD member, who apparently doesn’t care for my political
affliation.

If that’s
the way CHUD is going to operate, then please delete my account.

Nick: It’s not typical, no but it’s indicative of the web and not just us. People are rude and insensitive and if it isn’t one place that gets you it’s another. That said, there’s something odd about someone letting a seven year old kid into their private mailbox. One suggestion would be for him to have his own little email but not access to yours. A mean letter from a CHUD reader is small potatoes compared to the viruses and scams and porn he could be subjecting himself to. As for the site, it has nothing to do with us or how we operate. It wasn’t anyone from the site who bothered you.

Cleveland Steamer. (SEND A LETTER)

Mario:

It
may or may not be New York shown in the
background of those ‘Spider Man 3’
posters, but a lot of the shots in the movie were filmed in Cleveland.

Nick: Ok.

Gimme My Shit! (SEND A LETTER)

Lee:

I won the contest for the Baywatch dvds and was
wondering it they was mailed out? I haven’t got them yet, if you didn’t guess
that by me asking about them. If they were, when was they?

Nick: Eileen? Devin? Pamela?

Fountain Response. (SEND A LETTER)

Michael:

WOW! Just saw it today and was blown away by it. AS a screenwriter I saw
the magnificence of the film as a whole. I told my wife and 2 friens this movie
will be nominated for many Academy Awards. They laughed it off. They just
didn’t get it. I am a believer in the transcendental nature of our souls. We
are all travelers in space and time, our bodies the vessels that take us
through the trip. The soul however is timeless. Our Higher Selves are right
next to us, somewhere above and directly behind all of the time. Almost like
our lives are first person video games that are dangerous because we can really
die if we make a mistake. Art is God reaching out to Us…in all forms.
Religion is Man’s mess of trying to make sense of messages God has been
sending to Us from the beginning of time. Typical H’wood flicks are geared so
that a 6 year old child can follow it. No wonder people are getting dumber and
dumber, movies getting worse and worse. I would cut the tongue out of anyone
who calls Dukes of Hazard a "film." That crap was a movie. The
Fountain is a film!!! High art.

Nick: As a screenwriter I read your mail. Sorry, I had to. Everyone’s a screenwriter. Just ask ’em. The Fountain is a really special film and on the most recent podcast (which should be up today), I had trouble isolating my top few films of the year. This is most definitely one of them but I’m really anxious to see how this is the third and fifth time. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be one of the movies I revisit time and time again when I need to be reminded about how it can still be done really, REALLY right. I know Warner Bros. and Darren would have liked for more money to have been ponied up for this but I have no doubts this will be a very rewarding and long-term good move for the studio.

Hating On Fanboys. (SEND A LETTER)

Ben:

In light of your recent article

(http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=news&id=8008),
I’m starting to feel www.chud.com has
developed a serious anti-geek streak. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but the
influx of fanboy-loathing has appeared to be on the increase, complete with
venomous puns and insinuating innuendos. This steady buildup of nerd-hate
seemed to begin around the time Devin posted his article about excessive
browncoat-ism being responsible for SERENITY’s failure at the box office. Did
you guys receive a number of vicious e-mails following Devin’s article that
accelerated the collective hatred of the CHUD staff?

Please understand that it wasn’t your article
specifically that urged me to type out this message. It’s the general
belligerence that CHUD has taken on in recent months. I’d just like to
understand where a lot of this nastiness is coming from.

Nick: In our defense (at least mine), we’ve never embraced the ‘Geek Chic’ or whatever it’s called. That’s another site you’re thinking of. We’re united in a love of the genres associated with "geekdom" and read comics and buy toys and play video games but I’d like to think we do it from a perspective where we don’t just blindly gyrate in swoon to things and have little religious epiphanies when we see a katana slice through a leather-clad villain or when Wolvie’s claws pop out. or his cock. Devin is an angry, greasy guy. It’s who he is. Don’t take the bait, that’s all. I’ve grown a little tired of fanboys simply because after you have been around long enough and sat through so many revolutions of the same thing being rebooted with the next crowd, it gets old. It makes me really appreciate the readers who perservere. Don’t read too much into it.

Watchmen Buzz. (SEND A LETTER)

Simon:

Through your producing associates – Have you heard positive
buzz through Zack Snyder’s adapting of Watchmen?

Nick:
I have and it sounds like things are moving along pretty well. I’m still really sad about Paul Greengrass not doing it but I love Dawn of the Dead and although the 300 footage I’ve seen doesn’t turn my crank too much I know Lloyd Levin wouldn’t let that property get screwed. He’s been very jazzed about the progress, but there’s one term I’ve learned through the past few years to cling to and it’s to be "guardedly optimistic" about nearly everything. Be such and you should be pleasantly surprised from time to time.

Whoa. (SEND A LETTER)

Marketing Services:

Just wanted to let you know we have a TimesTalks Podcast
hosted by Lynn Hirschberg on How We Are Entertained: Editor at Large we
thought you might enjoy it. As you might know, TimesTalks is a series of
events hosted by The New York Times, where we gather some of the most
brilliant and interesting minds to be interviewed before a live audience by a New
York Times correspondent. How We Are Entertained: Editor at Large;
is about NY Times Publisher Lynn Hirschberg sitting down with Bob and
Harvey Weinstein; award-winning movie producers. You can download the free Podcast at our TimesTalks
Podcast page:

http://nytimes.whsites.net/talk/podcasts.html.

Enjoy our How We Are Entertained: Editor at Large
Podcast!

Nick: If you guys are so fucking great, where’s Devin’s invite?

A Mountain for Fountain. (SEND A LETTER)

Shailia:

I read your review
for the movie "The Fountain" recently and I just have to say, I agree
with you wholeheartedly. I feel the movie will be an inspiration to people for years to come. I have felt the cold sting of uppity critics saying "There is no point to
this movie" and it hits me straight to the heart. I consider myself a connoisseur of under appreciated films, and I do believe
that every person should at least see it once. Reading your article gave me hope for the movie’s future, seeing someone else
agree with what I have felt ever since that movie, touched me deeply. I just hope that those who do enjoy it as much as I did, will come together to
form a sizable fan base, therefore ensuring it’s place in time and in our
hearts. I thank you so much for reading this and I hope other Fountain fans will read
your review and be as happy as I was to hear this positive critique.

Nick: I think it’s better to be a fan of great films as opposed to underappreciated ones. On the web you tend to see people who spiral into madness over stuff that people ignored or was misunderstood but not embracign the great stuff everyone knows about. There’s a certain appeal of finding "The Sleeper" but there’s no reason we have to wait for the eventual appreciation. I’m glad you loved the movie, but I feel it’s a failure on our part when we don’t infect enough people the first time around.

Thor Will Return. (SEND A LETTER)

Tom:

Any chance we’ll see another Thor’s Comic Column sometime
soon? I love most of your site’s content, but have a special place for the
comic reviews. Seems like it’s been a while…

Nick: A week from Sunday Thor will return. We apologize for the delay, some of it was avoidable and much was not. I’ll have Sean Fahey himself in town the week after that and I’ll make sure a hearty pre-Christmas installment hits the site.

Discuss the Leak Letters here.

BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE
STUDIO: Sony Wonder
MSRP: $21.98
RATED: PG
RUNNING TIME: 300 hours
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Sneak Peek at the 2007 live action movie including trailer and Spielberg/Bay Interviews
• Multiple Audio Commentaries
• All-new, exclusive interviews with key creative talent
• Original toy commercials, deleted Footage, test footage, storyboards, and trailers
• Episode from the original series with commentary
• DVD-Rom Interactive Game

…and as Rosie O’Donnell prepares for dinner…

The Nutshell

"I believe the humans call this, ‘bustin’ a cap’, homey…"

The Autobots, including young hotshot sports car Hot Rod, get word that Unicron has destroyed one of the moons of the Transformers’ home world of Cybertron and set off to find a way to stop him. Along the way, they’re hounded by the Decepticons, who will stop at nothing to destroy the Matrix. When Galvatron succeeds in obtaining it, he seeks to use it against Galvatron, but finds out that only an Autobot can use it. Unicron then transforms into a planet-sized robot and seeks to destroy Cybertron and all of the Transformers. The Autobots, led by Hot Rod, crash into Unicron and seek to stop him from the inside. Hot Rod encounters Galvatron in one-on-one battle and unleashes the power of the Matrix, which transforms him into the new Autobot leader, Rodimus Prime, and destroys Unicron.

"Jeez, is Optimus supposed to smell like that?"

The Lowdown

Megatron’s initial makeover in hot pink was a bit much…

Looking back on it now, as a so-called adult, I can still appreciate the movie, which features a fairly solid story, and animation several levels above the sometimes piss-poorly-drawn TV series. And what really distinguishes (and also hopelessly dates) the film is the ’80s rock soundtrack featuring the immortally awesome/hideously bad “The Touch”, by Stan Bush. An entirely new crop of Transformers were introduced in the movie, including Hot rod, Ultra Magnus, Kup, Blur, Galvatron, Cyclonus, Scourge, the Junkions, the Quintessons and others. Personally, I wasn’t feeling many of them, even back then, save for Ultra Magnus. And of course it was criminal that Starscream got turned into iron mulch, but what could you do? Also, Spike, who was the useless human kid during the TV series, now is a man and has a useless human kid of his own in Daniel.

In addition to being the ultimate knowledge repository, the Matrix was also a pretty bitchin’ disco ball.

You could look at the new crop of Transformers in two ways: that many of the Autobots and Decepticons had been killed during the long years of fighting, or they were axed to make way for the new toy line (not much mystery here as it’s freely admitted by the producers in one of the special features). I wouldn’t know because one of the bitter truths of my childhood was that I couldn’t afford Transformers. I was relegated to Gobots. Anyway, getting back to the flick, several hot names of the then-present and past voiced characters in the film, including Judd Nelson, Leonard Nimoy, John Moschitta, Scatman Crothers, Eric Idle, Robert Stack, Lionel Stander, and Orson Welles, who by that time was damn near as big as Unicron. Voice actress Susan Blu came on to voice the first female Autobot, Arcee as well.

Caption A: "Wanna see my joystick?"
Caption B: "WTF do you mean you’re a Mac?!"
Caption C: "Let’s go RAM."
Caption D: "Let’s go defrag."
Caption E: "Let’s go interface."
Caption F: "Do you take it up the USB?"
Caption G: "I got 500 Gigs and it’s all for you, baby."

The Transformers have had seemingly a million incarnations in the last 20 years, including Beast Wars, Beast Machines, Energon, etc. Most of them have infinitely better animation than the original, including computer animation, but none of them measure up – by far. I’m looking forward to the live action version next year, but this version will always be the version at its best.

"So Daniel, you ever seen a grown robot naked?"

There’s also a video gallery of ’80s TV spots, the original theatrical trailer, a photo gallery, an unusual Cinex and credit test, and an episode of Scamble City with commentary. There are the following featurettes: Death of Optimus Prime, Cast and Characters, and Transformers Q&A. Collectively these three total about 28 minutes and are pretty fun, with contributions by Flint Dille, Nelson Shin, Susan Blu, and producers Joe Bacal, and Tom Griffin. There’s also Scamble City commercials, US and Japanese toy commercials, and deleted/test/alternative footage, as well as animated storyboards, which kept crashing my player for some reason. There’s also Activate Autobot City, which unlocks other DVD-ROM content. The packaging itself is pretty cool, with new cover artwork and Unicron on one disc and the Matrix on the other. There’s also a lenticular version of the cover art which switches between Optimus and Rodimus, but it has to be kept separate because because it won’t fit back into the case. All in all though, a pretty satisfying offering.

Buy it on Amazon: CLICK HERE!
Studio: Warner Bros.
MSRP: $19.98
Rated: Not Rated
Running Time: 85 Minutes
Special Features:
· “Uncle Sam Wants You to Tapdance” featurette
· “Practice, practice, practice” featurette
· Movie previews

The Pitch

“It’s tapdancing meets war!”

The Humans

Maya Ritter, David Aaron Baker, Tory Green, Sarah Manninen, Genevieve Farrell, Andrew Chalmers, and Molly Ringwald.

The Nutshell

Molly McIntire is a young girl, growing up during World War II. She knows about the war, but she glorifies it, thinking that it must be “swell” to hang out with the big movie stars as they entertain the troops. She realizes that she has to do something about the war when she and her friends try to order ice cream from the local shake joint, only to discover that there is no ice cream left…because of the war, you see.

After world peace was acheived, Uncle Sam had some strange requests.

She decides that she’s going to learn how to tap dance and become the “Miss Victory” for the school that year. Molly thinks that she will be able to help out with the war effort that way, as Miss Victory gets to perform at local functions and dispenses goodwill to all who lay eyes on her. Unfortunately for young Molly, her father decides to help out with the war effort and ships off to work in the hospitals over seas. Molly doesn’t understand why he would want to help out with the war instead of being at home with his family. On top of all this, all the older women in Molly’s life begin getting telegrams that their husbands and sons are dead. And her Mother gets a job at an airplane construction warehouse! And her father is missing in action!

And if things couldn’t get any worse, a young British girl named Emily Bennett is staying at their house. She doesn’t say much, which Molly mistakes for being stuck up, which gives their relationship a rocky start.

Will Molly end up being the best of friends with her shy British roommate? Will her Father ever come back from the war? Will she learn to tap dance and win the Miss Victory contest?

Yes.

Remember when you used to gather around the Hal 9000 with your family?

The Lowdown

So here’s the thing…this isn’t trying to be anything more then a made for DVD (and I’m assuming TV) film that caters directly to eight-year-old girls and nobody else. I mean nobody else…except for maybe Molly Ringwald completists. Molly and her two friends constantly comment on each other’s clothes, accessories, and the dream weddings they’ve always wanted. They all talk with “swell’s” and “golly’s”. While the British girl is always saying “terribly” or “good show.” The actress who plays Molly puts as much emotional emphasis on being disappointed that there is no ice cream left as she does when her father leaves for war. On the flip side, Tory Green the actress who plays Emily Bennett, has an eerie scene where she talks about the sounds the bombs make during air raids in London. It’s the only emotionally genuine scene of the film.

Molly Ringwald is in the film, trying to make the best out of her current career trajectory. She plays Molly’s mother, and is the one who lets young Molly know that it’s okay for women to work, too. And she even gets to wear a Rosie the Riveter outfit. She also teaches Molly that the best way to help somebody through the grieving process is to bake them a casserole, and spends most of the film looking bewildered.

It covers all the bases: family is good, friends are good, and helping others is good. Ultimately, though, this is harmless filmmaking. Mostly no one acts well enough to be convincingly happy or convincingly sad, preventing the viewer from feeling anything. It’s a flat line from beginning to end, allowing parents to feel safe allowing their 8 year old to watch repeatedly without feeling bad about it.

"You want to see my Agent Smith impression?"

The Package

There’s a featurette called “Uncle Sam Wants You To Tapdance”, which features a young group of dancers interviewing one of the original dancers who entertained the troops. It starts getting a little awkward when she starts going on about how they were young, just having fun, and it was all about keeping the troops as happy as possible….

There’s another featurette called “Practice, practice, practice” that teaches you how to perform some of the killer tap dance moves from the movie. It’s a random girl, showing you dance steps over and over and over again. And over again.

There are a few previews for other ‘American Girl’ movies as well.

5 out of 10

The only thing keeping a full-fledged 80s revival from happening is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s job as the governor of California. Bruce Willis is filming Die Hard 4, Sylvester Stallone has a Rocky movie hitting in a few weeks and starts on a Rambo film next year, and now Eddie Murphy is returning to Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop IV.

It’s been 12 years since Beverly Hills Cop III sucked the series to death, but that’s not stopping producer Lorenzo diBonaventura from resurrecting the franchise. "Axel Foley is one of the great action-comedy characters, a character that Eddie loves. I’m lucky enough to help bring it back," di Bonaventura said. "This genre is missing from the landscape."

Obviously it’s early in the development process for the film, but current plans probably are to bring Beverly Hills Cop IV into line with Murphy’s recent output by having him play every character in the film. With the magic of make-up and CGI he’ll play his own uptight white partner, a hilarious Asian gangster, an entire cell of Al Qaeda terrorists and a giant fat sassy black lady. Eager to try and get a role in the film, Judge Reinhold will be crossdressing as a hooker and asking for a ride home.

I watched my DVD of Fantastic Four recently and I stand proud and unswayed: it’s not a bad movie! Tim Story et al actually captured a lot of the spirit of the original comic books, even down to reviled things like Johnny Storm being into X-Treme Sports – the kid was a trendy hot rodder back in the 60s. I think that the first X-Men is just as flawed as this film, but since it’s not aimed at a family audience, it gets more of a pass.

*Nerd alert! Actually, not as nerdy as I once was – ten years ago I would have checked my copy of The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe for Ben’s exact weight. I’m in recovery.

When I was in Lake Tahoe to see Smokin’ Aces a month or so ago, director Joe Carnahan dropped a sweet scoop in my lap – he’s going to direct White Jazz, adapted from the James Ellroy book by Carnahan and his brother Matthew. Carnahan was psyched about it, and he wanted to tell me who he had lined up to star – he wanted to tell me so badly I could feel it – but he had to hold his tongue.

I’m talking to Clooney this weekend for The Good German – I can’t wait to hear what he has to say about White Jazz and one of my favorite Hollywood madmen, Joe Carnahan.

BUY ME AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Lionsgate
MSRP: $27.98
RATED: PG-13
RUNNING TIME: 103 min
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Feature commentary w/ director Lian Lunson
• Additional musical performances
• Extended interview with Leonard Cohen

The Pitch

"You
got your music in my poetry! You got your poetry in my music! You got your
tired jokes in my CHUD.com!"

The Humans

Leonard
Cohen, and a small host of musical guests, including Rufus Wainwright, Jarvis
Cocker, Nick Cave, and the brilliant Antony.

The Nutshell

Director
Lian Lunson combines performance and biography of the titular poet to educate
and celebrate a life of top-notch creative output.

The Lowdown

A bit of
background on Leonard Cohen, for the uninitiated, since the film doesn’t do
much to give a historical grounding: he’s a Canadian, rose to prominence in the
60s, and holds the enviable distinction of being an accomplished poet, singer,
songwriter, and novelist. His songs have been recorded, covered, and performed by
many fine artists. You’ve probably heard Jeff Buckley’s pretty little version
of Cohen’s "Hallelujah," and I have little doubt you’ve heard the
same song misplaced in Shrek.

"I know Wings of Desire sounds like a soft porn. It wasn’t my idea.
I was just in the band, man."

In other
words, he’s a poet you’ve heard, even if you haven’t heard of him. It’s
something of an unusual state for a modern poet to be in. Generally, where
poetry is concerned, either you’re in with the crowd, or you aren’t even
exposed to their madness. It’ll take a few decades before the more enduring
turns of phrase enter wide vocabulary. Cohen, on the other hand, is one of them
boundary-crossers that you hear tell about. His books of poetry may not be as
well-known as his songs, but his songs are of a lyrical quality that
distinguishes them from the larger mass of pop music.

Poems and
songs are not entirely analogous, of course. The difference most important here
is that songs are meant to be performed and heard aurally, where poems are kind
of indifferent. Cohen’s willful participation in an art form more based on
performance sets him apart from his contemporaries in the poetry world, whose
poems are distributed on paper, rather than vinyl.

Hearing
Cohen recall not only his songwriting and performing, but also his poesy and
fiction, one gets the impression that his most productive years must have been
exhausting. In one of the interview segments, Cohen himself addresses this.
"If it is your destiny to be this laborer, called a writer, you know you
have to go to work every day," he says. This is at once a heartening
message to aspiring writers and a potentially discouraging one. Your effort is
rewarded, says Cohen who stands as living proof. Your effort is entirely
necessary, also. When words and music sound inspired, it’s a pretty good
indication that they weren’t. Some of the other interviewees mention that Cohen
had worked for years on certain songs, perfecting them before he was satisfied.

Dustin Hoffman has secretly been playing Cohen in public appearances since 1967.

All those
years of effort have had an interesting effect on Cohen. For one thing, they
led to his adopting the lifestyle, and eventually the mantle, of Zen Buddhism. In
this mode, he speaks of his past with a calm detachment, claiming a personal
lack of nostalgia, as well as a distance from his own history. At one point he
mentions to Ms. Lunson that during your life you realize that you "cease
to be the hero of your own play," and that "you abandon your
masterpiece and you sink into the real masterpiece." It’s a dissonant
thing, hearing words of such tender resignation from a man whose life’s output
is so wide and deep.

It’s also
tremendously humble. If nothing else comes through from this documentary, it’s
Cohen’s humility. He sure as hell has enough to be proud of, but he doesn’t
applaud his own cleverness, nor does he pull a Whitman and celebrate himself. When
he speaks during his interview segments, it’s with a touching and unaffected
self-deprecation — not in the pursuit of gentle humor, but in what seems to be
pure honesty. In a recent preface to a Chinese translation of one of his books
of poetry, he concludes with the words: "Dear reader, please forgive me if
I have wasted your time."

At times,
on a gut level, Cohen’s attitude maddened me. Here he is, creator of some of
the most beautiful passages in modern music, possessing a modesty that he
needn’t own if he doesn’t want to. Other times, I was convinced absolutely of
the lack of falsehood in that modesty, which summons of a sense of admiration.
He worked hard as a writer. It paid off in volume and content. That’s what it
was supposed to do. (Incidentally, it’s also hard not to admire a writer whose
childhood heroes were the population of the Marvel universe.)

Sometimes a thousand words are worth more than a picture.

I’ve
focused on Cohen’s own depictions of himself, which is kind of misleading for
the film, since it revolves mostly around perceptions of his character by other
people. The interview segments serve as interstitials between lovely
performances of Cohen songs by a wealth of talents at a single live tribute
show. The songs themselves are placed perfectly to support the memories and
observations (most of which are enlightening, full of admiration, or both).

The
performances are well-shot and sound perfect, which means that the film
functions well as a sort of concert film as well as a biography. I found myself
looking forward to each musical segment. Partly, that’s because the
performances are range from competent to incredible. My favorites artists were
easily Martha Wainwright, who really ought to do some stuff with Joanna Newsom,
and Antony from Antony and the Johnsons, whose nervous,
distracted air is so charmingly in contrast to his otherworldly vocal control
that you can’t help but be fascinated.

The
lasting impression surrounding I’m Your Man is something like a
mutual admiration society. The film features an anthology of talent, all
gathered under the unifying umbrella of Cohen’s work, but well-accomplished in
their own rights. It’s a joy to see so many people demonstrate the skills they
have labored over, and it’s an education to witness the downplayed genius of a
living legend.

The Package

Director
Lian Lunson provides a charming feature commentary that is chiefly concerned
with the process of assembling the film. She scales back her comments during
the musical performances, which is something of a shame because that’s a
significant portion of the running time. Still, she’s a pleasure to listen to,
thanks to her enthusiasm.

There are
also some additional performances of Cohen’s song, and an extended cut of the
lovely interview between Lunson and Cohen.

7.9 out of 10