DVD REVIEW: UFC CLASSICS – VOL. 2

DVD RackBuy me!BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Lions Gate Home Entertainment
MSRP: $19.98
RATED: NR
RUNNING TIME: 90 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Alternate Angle Fights
Bonus Fights
Hall of Fame Interview


The Pitch

“In UFC 1, a bunch of guys got pummeled and dominated by a grappler. Watch as they futilely try to incorporate grappling into their own repertoire and get dominated once again.”

The Humans

Royce Gracie, Pat Smith, Remco Pardoel, Johnny Rhodes and Jim Brown

The Nutshell

Once again, fighters from around the globe converge in Colorado to determine who the greatest fighter really is. The first UFC was billed as a battle of different martial arts to determine the superior fighting style. This element has been diminished in UFC 2, as it quickly became apparent that only a few styles are well suited to the octagon. The fighters are still clinging to their basic styles, but from their interviews it becomes apparent that they all recognize the importance of grappling.

The fighters in this tournament have all put in a small amount of time cross training in grappling disciplines and are all decent fighters as opposed to the tomato cans appearing in UFC 1. The tournament is slowly evolving into a competition to determine the greatest and most well-rounded fighter, not the superior martial art.


"Hi. I’m Royce Gracie. I enjoy small animals, long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. If you choose to go on a date with me, I’ll put your heart in a guillotine choke and never let go."


The Package

UFC Classics 2 is presented in full screen format in Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo sound. The producers of the program learned from their mistakes in UFC 1 and have toned down on the awful video effects. The event has a much more professional demeanor and the graphics packages reflect it.

This volume includes a different interview with Royce Gracie than the one on the first event. Royce explains why his family is so proud of their fighting style and why they’re so eager to teach others how to utilize it. To fit in its original timeframe, the PPV broadcast of UFC 2 only showed the matches from the quarterfinals on up. A few of the preliminary fights are available as extra features. These matches are of the same visual quality as the original broadcast and contain the same commentators and video packages. These fights also come with the option of two viewing angles.

The Lowdown

The inaugural UFC event, while an interesting concept, was less than impressive in its execution. The fights were short and brutal. Most of the competitors had no idea what to expect and found their fighting styles completely useless in the context of a real fight (Honestly, boxing gloves? Are you serious?). Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock, the only competitors in the first competition skilled in grappling, easily dispatched the competition. After seeing the complete domination of grapplers, the promoters of UFC took a different approach for the second event.

In UFC 2, the promoters realized that a competition between various martial arts styles wouldn’t work. UFC 2 simplifies the field of competitors into grapplers and kickboxers. Gone are the large out of shape white guys slinging ham-fisted punches and getting winded in thirty seconds. The athletes participating in this tournament are well skilled in their craft and all recognize the importance of grappling and submissions. Unfortunately for them, in the time it took them to grasp the basics of Gracie style, Royce has become even better at it.


Using a split in martial arts? Expect a call from Van Damme’s lawyers.


As the fighters become more informed and know what to expect, the brutality of the tournament is greatly reduced. Only one fighter gets taken out in a violent fashion, with the majority of matches ending in submissions. It’s a good thing too, since the referees still have little clue how to handle a match at this point. UFC stalwart Big John McCarthy makes his debut, and while his catchphrase and competence as a ref would ultimately make him a fan favorite, he seems over his head here. Matches are allowed to continue even as fighters tap out and yell for as long as ten seconds.

UFC 2 presents the slow but steady evolution of MMA fighting, making for an interesting but incredibly sloppy event. None of the fighters have any idea how to escape holds or even how to change guards, meaning that the first person to get taken down always loses. The sport was still in its infancy, and it would take a few more years of Gracie dominance before the rest of the field could catch up. UFC 2 is educational viewing for modern fans of MMA and entertainment for anyone who prefers the no-rules atmosphere of yesteryear.

7.0 out of 10





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I’VE GOT A SINKING FEELING

I am fairly certain that boats shouldn’t be sailing at that angle.

Yes, it’s the teaser poster for Poseidon, the remake of the overturned boat film from the 70s, The Poseidon Adventure.
You may remember that I visited the set of this film last year, where I
received a sound thrashing from none other than Richard Dreyfuss
himself.  You can read that Poseidon misadventure right here.

By the way, I am pressuring Warner Bros to send me to LA to do the
junket for Poseidon so that Richard and I can rematch. This time I’ll
be ready!






Author Links: Author's Page · AIM · Twitter · Facebook · Twitter · Email

I’VE GOT A SINKING FEELING

I am fairly certain that boats shouldn’t be sailing at that angle.

Yes, it’s the teaser poster for Poseidon, the remake of the overturned boat film from the 70s, The Poseidon Adventure. You may remember that I visited the set of this film last year, where I received a sound thrashing from none other than Richard Dreyfuss himself. You can read that Poseidon misadventure right here.

By the way, I am pressuring Warner Bros to send me to LA to do the junket for Poseidon so that Richard and I can rematch. This time I’ll be ready!






Author Links: Author's Page · AIM · Twitter · Facebook · Twitter · Email

DAILY GRABOID 2.28.06

What is this? Every single day of the week (almost), a new "Graboid", a single moment grabbed from a random movie, appears on this site for you to guess the name of the film, share with your officemates, or discuss on our message boards. Sometimes the Graboid will be very easy and sometimes it’ll be as obscure as obscure gets. So read the news, read the reviews, and enjoy a screencap each and every day for your guessing pleasure.


Guess and discuss today’s Graboid on the Message Boards.
Send an email about this feature.





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THE SPECIAL EDITION – 2.28.06

This week has the first Award contender being ushered semi-mutely through your home video doors (I’d almost expect a third edition should it clean up come March 5th – but don’t expect it to win everything. It won’t). And as we do here at your second favorite website not beginning with club—.com, it’s Oscar Contest time where you can win these free DVDs (click here). It’s almost as if we were your own personal Telly Savalas with all this love saliva.


Keep the change

Widescreen LineJoaquin Phoenix falls into the burning ring of life in James Mangold’s incredibly good adaptation of Johnny Cash’s life in Walk the Line (read Devin’s review). But it’s not a masterpiece. It does have a few paint-by-numbers scenes of Cash becoming who he was, interestingly enough shying away from his deep seeded country roots. As such, it shares instances with other musical bio-pic’y films, in terms of a brother dying and hard rabblerousing misadventures that force a fractured life into illegal substance abuse. And whereas you’d just normally be content poking your friend with your broom while sitting on top of the freezer on your daily freak-out, Cash actually was making art and poetry with his masculine harmonies infused here withSE Line arguably Phoenix’s best performance since Russkies. He simply almost becomes Cash. Add in Reese Witherspoon as June Carter, his ultimate object of affection, and you might even think there’s no wrong way to eat Walk the Line (outside first, then in). It’s a damn fine film filled with two solid portrayals of iconic Americans wrapped around some commendable filmmaking from the Director of the horrendous Identity. That accounts for something.

Baby, Baby, Baby – with: 2 editions. The Regular Widescreen comes with audio commentary with James Mangold, 10 deleted scenes with optional Mangold commentary, the trailer for Love Me Tender: Special Edition and the film’s theatrical trailer. The 2-Disc Special Edition comes with everything above on Disc One and then on Disc Two – 3 extended music videos and 2 featurettes (The Passion of MIB and Walk The Line Comeback). Choose wisely. For the false Walk the Line will take minutes from you.


Pride & PrejudiceThere’s something magical about Keira Knightley in addition to my massive crush on her. Most likely it’s her Britishness, which has this magnetism that instantly recalls my forefathers sacking the hell out of those Normans. In Pride & Prejudice, Knightley and Doom’s Rosamund Pike take on Jane Austen in a knock-down drag-out series of liberties that should cause any astute English Major to wallow in some Crabbe. That’s because director Joe Wright (making his debut) decides to follow some Sinatraian advice and make some stuff up as they do it their way (not unlike my mangling of our language). As I’m sure you remembered from High School, Austen’s novel has our Elizabethan heroine searching for the wrong-eyed Man and getting caught up in the tumultuous life of Mr. Darcy (and this time it isn’t Colin Firth, so Austenities will be quite livid), the pair turning into one another until all hell breaks loose. Wright makes sure to keep everything up in the air like one gigantic hot potato without the 200 years of mold and I’m sure this will find most of you either – a. checking this out because it is quite entertaining, or b. being forced by your significant other because they said no tonsil-destruction unless concessions are made.

Oh, my goodness! Everybody behave naturally! – with: audio commentary with Director Joe Wright, A Bennet Family Portrait – An intimate look at each of five vibrant Bennet sisters and their parents, Jane Austen, Ahead of Her Time – The history of a revolutionary storyteller and a very private woman, Behind the Scenes at the Ball – A behind-the-scenes look at this lavishly stunning new version of the classic romance, and an HBO First Look.


Ice HarvestIt’s tough to trust Harold Ramis once you’ve been subjected to Analyze That, one of the most cringe inducing pieces of mediocrity I’ve ever snuck into. Naturally I’m skeptical about The Ice Harvest, which I hear puts Ramis back into his comedic form with such heavyweights as Cusack, Quaid, and Thornton, who might be in actor jail after Bad News Bears. Working from a script from two guys who like to work with old frazzled Men (Robert Benton and Richard Russo), Ramis tackles the seedy world of Kansas, the likes of which produced our own Message Board lothario Slater (currently MIA beating little children into pulpy mush). With a modern film-noir vibe backing it up, Ice Harvest has Cusack stealing a cool $2 Million from under Quaid’s huge chieftain thumb while attempting to juggle a myriad of bent relationships like Thornton’s skewed partner, Neilsen’s sultry strip-club owner, and Oliver Platt’s drunken ex-wife stealer. Almost like your own horrendous days on Earth.

One night driving a Mercedes, and you’re already an asshole – with: audio commentary with Ramis, some Alternate Endings, outtakes with Billy Bob Thornton, and 3 features (Cracking the Story, Beneath the Harvest, and Ice Cracking: Analysis of a Scene).


EMEZWhat possessed them to change 3 Extremes poster art (from this) is beyond me, considering the original was quite fitting. I suppose it’s just another par for the extreme course, which is littered with thousands of z’s and other Mountain Dew-like paraphernalia. Devin called the film one of 2005’s best horror films, and the three collaborators – Park Chan-wook, Takashi Miike, and Fruit Chan – have made sure you’re going to be barfing up all of your lunches. Chan’s short, Dumplings, should already have you feeling uneasy, especially when it’s discovered what’s exactly in them (hint: it ain’t squiggly octopi) that’s keeping customers so refreshingly young. Chan-wook’s Cut gets all Meta on the world of filmmaking with a Director who is subjected to sadistic machinations from a disgruntled Central Casting Extra. And Miike’s Box, which I hear is the slowest most prodding of the three, has fantastical elements protruding into the inner workings of a troubled beauty responsible for deaths. Unlike say, your friend Mr. Peppers, who actually causes the exact opposite.

You’re rich but I’m free – with: audio commentary with Miike on Box, Fruit Chan’s extended, feature-length version of Dumplings and some trailers for maximum overdrive effect.



Tramp!Disney’s first cinemascope production, Lady and the Tramp (our DVD review is forthcoming!), isn’t about Chaplin’s foray into the confusing world of females, but rather one of its most charming films stacked up against their recent homegrown efforts (which have been lacking, to put it mildly). Like the other doggiestylings of 101 Dalmatians, Lady and the Tramp has a cacophony of hounds living up the nightlife and boogieing ‘till their hearts content across a sea of animated troubles. There’s even those dastardly evils to which the plot must exorcise; those nefarious Siamese Cats (and their damning Cat Song), that barbarous Rat and his Baby-eating desires, and of course, that dreaded bitchslap Aunt Sarah introduces to Lady’s face. Sound familiar? Have an Aunt Sarah? Last time it happened to me, Evelyn Mulwray and I were having a … disagreement. But since that’s settled (she’s our Sister! – no wait), we can move back into the great Peggy Lee, whose vocals (even though you didn’t know it) are one of the most comforting things about the film. Besides sharing a romantic plate of spaghetti without utensils.

We are Siamese if you please – with: an all-new digital restoration with enhanced picture and sound, the restored original theatrical soundtrack and 5.1. digital surround mix, fullscreen and widescreen presentations, some never-before-seen deleted sequences: "Turning the Tables" – Tramp describes what it would be like if dogs were the masters and people were their pets; and "La La Loo" – Alternate abandoned concept for the arrival of the baby, a 1943 original storyboard version of the film, Finding Lady: The art of the storyboard, Lady’s Pedigree: The making of Lady and the Tramp, PuppyPedia: Learn about real-life breeds that inspired the characters in the movie, Disney Dog Trivia: A virtual board game, Disney Virtual Puppy: DVD-ROM feature, "Bella Notte" music video, and Your inner bark: Personality profile.


Menage a BaconIf you’re looking for Where the Truth Lies, it might be somewhere between the Eiffel Tower combination of Kevin Bacon (read his interview with Devin), Rachel Blanchard, and Colin Firth. While there are no high-fiving sessions of greatness, Atom Egoyan’s troubled fracas with our MPAA landed the film with the kiss-of-NC-17 poison, thus regulating it in your “can’t rent at Blockbuster, but must check out screenshots online” file. Devin even called it “the dirtiest ever episode of Murder, She Wroteright here). Bacon and Firth are a sexually-starved entertaining duo whose M.O. is pummeling young girls into submission. That is, until they suddenly decide to call it splitsville. A young girl is returned to the ashes, and 15 years later Alison Lohman’s reporter starts poking her nosy nose around, asking the tough questions. What exactly happened to this dead girl? Was Bacon’s Wild Thing too much for her to handle? Or was it Firth’s elusive British nether-regions? In the latter, wouldn’t that be Scotland? – and do you think he calls it that? Egoyan makes sure you’ll remember exactly where the truth was put in those final minutes. Probably in your boner pair of jeans.

Riuniti on ice is nice – with: some deleted scenes, a featurette exploring Where the Truth Lies, and the film’s theatrical trailer.


Ah-woooI don’t think anyone expected Lon Cheney to ever suit up and ride the rails in his chopper, but that’s one funny image I can’t seem to shake. Russ Meyer’s own personal art director, Michel Levesque, makes his debut with the tale of rousing macabre with an evil spell that afflicts two unsuspecting bikers turning them into Werewolves on Wheels. Infusing Meyer’s own hallmarks into the narrative, the Devil’s Advocates (the outlaw gang led by lovelorn lovers) find themselves knee deep in sacrificial incantations, voodoo spirits, and a ton of magical crap brought forth by the evil High Priest One (who coincidentally, has a car with a naked female on top. His wife has the naked male). There’s even the obligatory naked snake-dance, so fire up the tissues in celebration, you sexual deviant. All other fans will most likely want to check this out purely for camp, and those previously mentioned will be pitching their own tents in sacred places. Mount up.

Hey, it’s 1971 – with: audio commentary with director Michel Levesque and co-writer David M. Kaufman, a still gallery, some radio spots, and a theatrical trailer.


Kind HeartsI own the spectacular Alec Guinness Boxed Set (purchase that from us here immediately!), so my wishy-washy thought process on wondering if Kind Hearts and Coronets: Criterion is worth it is as palpable as yours. The film itself is hilarious, a one-of-a-kind rollercoaster of fine bon mots and terrific lunacy from Guinness’ eight portrayals of the D’Ascoyn family. All are completely in firing range of the great Dennis Price’s Louis Mazzini, whose resourcefulness in eliminating his roadblocks to dukedom is second-to-none. A triumph of the infamous Ealing Studios (purveyors of fine cinematic meats like The Ladykillers, Lavender Hill Mob, Whiskey Galore! and The Maggie), Kind Hearts and Coronets has an inspired streak of deliciously bleak humor – evident in those terrific send-offs against explosions, poisons, and flat-out accidents that populate Price’s gleeful desire to show his shamed mother that her boy is back in town. Watch this film immediately.

Hoskins is now going to thrash you – with: a all-new restored high-definition digital transfer, a feature-length BBC documentary on the history of Ealing Studios (one of the first ever – 1902), a rare 70-minute talk show appearance by Guinness from 1977, the feature American Ending, a gallery of archival production and publicity photographs, the film’s original theatrical trailer, and a booklet with a new essay by film critic and historian Philip Kemp.


DDNoonIt was 10 days until Lumet rolled his signature cameras on Dog Day Afternoon, and Pacino instantly got cold feet. Or at least that’s what Oscar-winning screenwriter Frank Pierson previously recounted. Homosexuality was still a hot-button issue (it’s since been cleared up, right?) and Pacino was having difficulty coming to grips with the inherent desire for two men to want nothing but one another. Except there’s that little caveat that one of them happens to be robbing a Chase Manhattan branch in order to fully finance a sex-change operation and the FBI and thoroughly scrupulous NYPD happen to be hostage negotiating right outside those metal doors. Thus is the premise of the great Lumet’s barn-burner issues film, which seems to have predicted our national obsession with tragedy and its playing out on live TV camera for the world over – there are no heroes, everyone is the same. The fact remains that Dog Day Afternoon is still as riveting and entirely engrossing as ever before; time hasn’t changed its meaning and initial punch to your gonads. The 70’s were quite kind to this type of filmmaking, and in return it was quite revealing to us – Wyoming’s not a country, you know…

Attica! Attica! – with: audio commentary with Lumet, the 4-part documentary (The Story, Casting the Controversy, Recreating the Facts, and After the Filming) chronicling the making-of Dog Day Afternoon with Al Pacino, the vintage featurette: Lumet: Filmmaker, and the film’s theatrical trailer.

NetworkLumet’s other great 70’s extravaganza, Network, gets the deluxe treatment it has finally deserved, considering it is one of Paddy Chayefsky’s greatest achievements. Scathing, immoral, and entirely prophesizing in absolutely every regard, Network somehow has managed to make our more modern society (we now have Nintendo and Uwe Boll) look like chumps in comparison. Peter Finch’s performance – a whirling dervish of utter inspired craziness, is a national treasure. You’re instantly transfixed on his persona. Probably because he’s going to commit hari-kari in exactly two weeks, so naturally his home station gives him a public forum to rally about the more pertinent issues of the day: everything from the government to lack of moral values strewn across our boob tubes (which is literally what I call it since my pants have discovered late-night public access). It’s my hope that all of you inexperienced bastards pawing around our site check this one out. It’s a welcome respite from the crap you subject yourself to every weekend and it’ll get you fired up and mad as hell in the process.
Classics
I’m a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! – with: audio commentary with Director Sydney Lumet, The Making-of Network a 6-part documentary (The World and Words of Paddy Chayefsky, The Cast, the Characters, The Experience, The Style, Mad as Hell! The Creation of a Movie Moment, and A Classic: Network by Walter Cronkite), a vintage Paddy Chayefsky Interview excerpt from Dinah!, Hosted by Dinah Shore, Turner Classic Movies’ Private Screenings with Sidney Lumet, with host Robert Osborne, and the film’s theatrical trailer.

You might wish to forgo purchasing Dog Day Afternoon and Network separately and instead check out Warner’s Controversial Classics, Volume Two: The Power of Media. It has both of the titles above and last week’s All the President’s Men: Special Edition. Purchase this from us right here.


This week will also see the release of these titles, surely someone out there will enjoy narratives that caused others to gauge out their own souls in retribution. Enjoy or skip, that’s your own prerogative.

BleghCOPSAxe
House of 9Losers!Tunnel o death
Natural CityFurlong acts!Eat!



Very pretty, General. But, can they fight?

Dozens


They better damn well be ready on 5.23.06, because WB is releasing the Dirty Dozen: Special Edition. Robert Aldrich’s boundary smashing film is a fine cavorting adventure through the bowels of some sort of skewed hell, as our heroes disrespect authority at all levels (and even sass Robert Ryan – which you should never, ever do), slide into comfort with prostitutes and generally kill everyone that opposes their particular brand of soldiering. Not that you care anyway, since the level of supreme camaraderie between all of the group – from John Cassavettes, Donald Sutherland, Jim Brown, Telly Savalas, and Charles ’till the trigger goes click’ Bronson – is one for the ages. How many times have you seen the film? If you’re like myself, with little to no comprehension of the outside world, it’s been quite a few, so I’m just hoping that the extras (explained below) do the film some justice and properly introduce young’uns and pron addicts to the immoral world of some of the best men in filmic uniform ever. Plus, you’ll love that Franko.

Which one of you guys wants to be a general? – with: a newly-remastered Anamorphic print, audio commentary with commentary by original novelist E.M. Nathanson, film historian David Schow and veteran military advisor Capt. Dale Dye with Jim Brown, Trini Lopez, Kenneth Hyman, Stuart Cooper and Colin Maitland, the DVD premiere of the 1985 sequel – “The Dirty Dozen: The Next Mission," with Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine and Richard Jaeckel reprising their original roles, 2 new documentaries, and a vintage documentary. Cover Art is forthcoming.


DickVan Damme goes Second-in-Command on 5.02.06 and that can only mean a couple of things. The first being that Van Damme’s going to take charge. How does he do it? He’s given the important task of being the title’s ying to the U.S. Ambassador’s yang. In an unknown Eastern European country some pesky insurgents, who surely would have given up their weapons in search of some good old fashioned democracy courtesy of Van Damme’s broken language skills, have just sent the Ambassador’s life into a nice pine box. You can already see Van Damme registering the shock in his signature ass kicking style, which means in Second-in-Command’s case, he actually fights with a ragtag group of jingoistic Marines in order to make the insurgents rue the day they ever agreed to cross the awfulness from Brussels. Those other things I meant to mention? Since they all have to do with your homoerotic obsession with all things Van Damme, it’s best I don’t print it in the family pages here at CHUD.

Unity of people can bring down any establishment – with: preview trailers. Ah, DTV DVDs.


KoH DCKingdom of Heaven was a fairly well-made film, and I enjoyed it tremendously for Scott’s epic handling of the material, a feat not many are able to accomplish. But it was always known that the Director’s Cut was only a matter of time onto DVD, and the date has been set – 5.23.06. Blowing up from 144 to 191 minutes, Kingdom of Heaven: 4-Disc Director’s Cut should be a treasured DVD for the sheer amount of extras. It’s ridiculous. Ready?

On Disc One and Two, you’ll get the 191 minute feature film in 2.35:1 anamorphic, audio commentary from Director Ridley Scott, and Writer William Monahan by executive producer Lisa Ellzey, film editor Dody Dorn, visual effects supervisor Wes Sewell and first assistant director Adam Somner, along with The Engineer’s Guide: Story Notes (Text & Images) on both discs.

On Disc Three expect the documentary – The Path to Redemption Part One with these sub features: Development (Part I: Good Intentions, "Tripoli" Overview & Gallery (Text & Images), First Draft Screenplay by William Monahan (Text), Story Notes (Text & Images), Location Scout Gallery (Images)), Pre-production (Part II: Faith and Courage, Screen Tests (Video and Commentary), Cast Rehearsals (Video), Costume & Weapon Design (Video), and Production Design / Conceptual Art / Costume Galleries (Text & Images)), and Production: Spain (Part III: The Pilgrimage Begins, Creative Accuracy: The Scholars Speak (Video), Storyboard Comparisons (Multi-Angle Video & Images), and some Photo Galleries (Text & Images)).

Finally, on Disc Four expect the continuation of the documentary – The Path to Redemption Part Two with these sub features: Production: Morocco (Part IV: Into The Promised Land, Unholy War: Mounting The Siege (Video), Storyboard Comparisons (Multi-Angle Video & Images), Photo Galleries (Text & Images)), Post-Production (Part V: The Burning Bush, Deleted & Alternate Scenes (Video & Commentary), Sound Design Suite (Video & Audio), and Visual Effects Breakdowns (Video & Commentary)), Release (Part VI: Sins and Absolution, Trailers & TV Spots (Video & Commentary), ShoWest Presentation (Video), Press Junket Walkthrough (Video), Japanese & London Premieres (Video), Poster Explorations: Domestic & International (Images), and The Director’s Cut & DVD Campaign (Video & Images)).

Arguably this is one of the most cohesive DVD experiences (literally) ever produced for the home theatre medium. I am very excited.


Kong SE It’s been a busy start to the week. Anticipate these features on the recent 2-Disc Special Edition of King Kong, out on 3.28.06:

A Special Introduction by Peter Jackson, the features The Volkswagen Toureg & King Kong and Wish You Were Here, Post Production Diaries – Director Peter Jackson takes you on an unforgettable journey with Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and the crew of King Kong as they reveal virtually every aspect of post production on this groundbreaking film, nearly three hours of exclusive behind the scenes footage, Skull Island: A Natural History – Travel to treacherous Skull Island with Peter Jackson and his crew! From its mysterious origins to its reclusive inhabitants and jaw-dropping creatures, uncover the fascinating facts about one of the last uncharted places on earth, and Kong’s New York, 1933 – 1930s New York comes alive in this fascinating piece that explores vaudeville, the skyscraper boom, the construction of the Empire State building and more.

The single disc comes with no extras whatsoever [Note from George: And the MSRP is supposedly only a single dollar less than the 2-Disc set’s. There should be no wondering which version to buy there. I would hope.]


Whoa

ChainzDon’t get George Miller’s production of Chain Reaction confused with the nearly 10 year old Keanu Reeves/Morgan Freeman epic (feel old yet?), since Miller’s film kicks that film’s ass right into giving it $12.99 for milk money (and I mean the Melanie Griffith horror fest). A lonesome Mechanic (not Dolph) and his wife go on vacation only to stumble upon Heinrich, the great Ross Thompson, in his last days on Earth surviving a deadly radiation spill. Soon a Government agency shows up for the destruction of all, leading for some great chase sequences, but what really works is xploitedcinema’s review, which confidently states: “but, the question growing more urgent by the minute is – CAN THE RADIOACTIVE WASTE BE CONTAINED?” YEAH, CAN IT?!?!?!?! I THINK THAT IS SOMETHING WE’D ALL LIKE TO KNOW. Miller is no stranger to post-apocalyptic extraordinary adventures, so retread the future as seen in 1980 with the utmost underwear-wetting excitement.

WALDO explodes! – with: The Sparks Obituary – A 30 Minute Short Film Introduced By Writer/director Ian Barry, a making-of feature Featuring Exclusive Interviews With Writer/director Ian Barry, Producer David Elfick, Cinematographer Russell Boyd And Actor Steve Bisley, some deleted and extended scenes, a poster and stills gallery, a TV spot, and the film’s original theatrical trailer.


FactotumGet a huge jump (by about 5 months) on the new Matt Dillon/Charles Bukowski film Factotum by seeing if it sounds interesting. It’s out on 4.03.06 in the UK (in theatres in August in the US). Bukowski’s prose might not be for all, but his episodically inclined narrative certainly has to lend itself to the traveling tale of Dillon’s Henry Chinaski. Classified as “4-F” without much to do, Chinaski takes to gambling, heavy bouts of drinking and intensive sexual misadventures. Curiously enough, Bukowski’s novel (if my feeble brain recalls correctly) had him declaring the myth of the starving artist to be nothing but a sham, so one can only imagine where they take this film. Hopefully it’s towards the epic level of failure classified throughout our own lives, and Bukowski’s in particular. Plus, it’s from the director of Kitchen Stories, and if that fails – there’s Marissa Tomei to gawk at.

If you’re going to try, go all the way – with: 15 minutes of deleted scenes, the short film Horshoe, and some trailers. This is a Region 2 PAL DVD requiring a Region Free DVD player.


Older than any Brokeback Mountain Internet parody

But do we ruin the joke as fast?

2/21:
Domino
(Dave’s DVD review is coming!), Class of 1984: Special Edition, The
Weather Man
, Ultimate Avengers: The Movie, North
Country
, Action – Complete Series (Dave’s DVD review),
Rent,
Pulse
(Ian’s DVD review), All the
President’s Men: Special Edition
, Midnight Cowboy: Special Edition
(this transfer is quite horrendous – such a shame), Separate Lies, Seat
Filler
, First Descent, Memory of a Killer, Stuart
Little 3
, NYPD Blue: Season Three, Week-end in Havana, The
Pin-Up Girl
, and Daddy Long Legs. I heard last week’s
Special Edition is your new father.


2/14:
Zathura,
Saw
II
(Jeremy’s DVD Rack),
The
Russian Specialist
(also known as The Mechanik), Mirrormask, Collision
Course
, Proof, Comedy Central’s Roast of Pamela Anderson,
Reel
Paradise
, Charles in Charge: Season One, Quick Change, Grey’s
Anatomy: Season One
, Frisco Kid, Club Paradise, Deal
of the Century
, Goof Troop: Volume One, Fresh
Prince of Bel-Air: Season Three
(David’s DVD rack),
Nine
Lives
, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Season One, Vol. 2, Lost
Embrace
, R-Point, Young Mr. Lincoln: Criterion, La
Bête Humaine: Criterion
, and Metropolitan: Criterion.
Fellate the old Special Edition with all of your Paul Walker-esque might
right here.


DVD Reviews Forum
General DVD Discussion Forum


Money

That’s what they want. I suppose now is as good a time as any to recommend, if you are unsure, about calling ahead of your local retailers. They’re quite fond of quickly changing items in a moment’s notice, shuffling around sale titles, and even only having Fullscreen (in the case of Target primarily) on their shelves. These past two weeks have seen these big, bad boys trample me with their mighty sales crotches.

Browse the multi-region DVD retailers!
xploitedcinema.com, HkFlix.com, diabolikdvd.com, DDDHouse, and YesAsia.com

Additionally, you’ll probably want to check out THIS MESSAGE BOARD THREAD for other Region Free DVD options as well.

deepdiscountdvd.com:
Walk the Line is $20.75
Walk the Line: SE is $27.48
Pride & Prejudice is $21.59
Ice Harvest is $20.19
3 Extremes is $16.79
Network: SE is $20.57
Dog Day Afternoon: SE is $20.57
Controversial Classics: Vol. 2 is $41.89
Lady and the Tramp: SE is $21.59
Kind Hearts and Coronets: Criterion is $31.88
Werewolves on Wheels is $10.79
C.O.P.S. Animated Series is $20.93
Natural City is $15.13
Death Tunnel is $19.50
Yours, Mine, and Ours is $21.54
Where the Truth Lies is $20.64

CompUSA.com:
Walk the Line is $14.99
Pride & Prejudice is $14.99
Yours, Mine, and Ours is $14.99

Amazon.com:
Hostel is preordering at $16.98
Eastwood After Hours is $9.97
The Hunger is $9.97
Klute is $9.97
Pennies from Heaven (1981) is $9.97
Wattstax: SE is $9.97

Tower.com:
Walk the Line: SE is $19.99

Target.com:
Walk the Line is $16.99
Walk the Line: SE is $27.99
Pride & Prejudice is $16.99
Ice Harvest is $19.99
Network: SE is $16.99
Dog Day Afternoon: SE is $16.99
Controversial Classics: Vol. 2 is $41.89
Lady and the Tramp: SE is $16.99 + has FREE Movie Cash to see The Shaggy Dog
Kind Hearts and Coronets: Criterion is $39.95
Werewolves on Wheels is $9.99
House of 9 is $13.99
C.O.P.S. Animated Series is $23.99
Natural City is $18.69
Death Tunnel is $16.99
Yours, Mine, and Ours is $16.99 + get a FREE Bonus DVD with behind-the-scenes Diaries
Arrested Development: Season 2 is $14.99
South Park: Season Five is $24.99
Viva La Bam: Seasons Two and Three are $14.99
24: Season One and That 70’s Show: Season One are $19.99
A
$7.50 DVD SALE for: NeverEnding Story / NeverEnding Story II Double Feature, Collateral
Damage / Eraser Double Feature, Mystic River, My Big Fat Greek Wedding,
Reservoir Dogs: Special Edition
and SNL: Best of Will Ferrell Volume
II


CircuitCity.com:
Walk the Line is $14.99
Walk the Line: SE is $27.99
Pride & Prejudice is $19.99
Ice Harvest is $19.99
3 Extremes is $19.99
Network: SE is $19.99
NewsRadio: Season Three is $27.99
Dog Day Afternoon: SE is $19.99
Controversial Classics: Vol. 2 is $49.99
Lady and the Tramp: SE is $14.99 + Get FREE GoFetch! Cards
Kind Hearts and Coronets: Criterion is $34.99
Werewolves on Wheels is $12.99
House of 9 is $17.99
C.O.P.S. Animated Series is $29.99
Natural City is $19.99
Death Tunnel is $24.97
Visitation is $17.99
Yours, Mine, and Ours is $17.99 + get a FREE Plush Pig Toy
Where the Truth Lies is $19.99





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DVD REVIEW: BEST OF YOUTH, THE

Buy me! BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Miramax Films


MSRP: $19.99
RATED: R

RUNNING TIME: 368 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES: English Subtitles

The Pitch


If Warhol can do it with his 485 minute Empire, then we can do it with our 368 minute Italian film.


The Humans

Luigi Lo Cascio, Alessio Boni, Adriana Asti, Sonia Bergamasco, Fabrizio Gifuni, Maya Sansa, Valentina Carnelutti, Jasmine Trinca, and a whole slew of actors only recognizable if you’ve been following Italian cinema.


"I told you – don’t call my whores escorts!"


The Nutshell

Following two brothers – Nicola (Luigi Lo Cascio) a sympathetic joker and Matteo (Alessio Boni), the more brooding and intense of the pair, The Best of Youth has their lives intersect through some of Italy’s more modern history, as told from 1966 through 2000. It’s a lot of ground to cover, hence the massive running time. The multi-generational story starts off with a journey of sorts, which Matteo on his path becoming a Police Officer and Nicola gravitating towards the hapless romanticism in clinical Psychiatry, continuing through such tumultuous events as the flooding of Florence, the Turin ’74 Riots, Fiat firing 23,000 employees, and through the various political upheavals of the 80’s, 90’s and 00’s. Essentially The Best of Youth spares no moment because it doesn’t have to, and the results are nothing short of bulging, but in a good way since I didn’t have to check out your package.

The Package

There are no extras anywhere on the disc, which is spread out as the film was released theatrically: separated in two 3+ hour parts (as an aside – I really enjoyed the disc’s color scheme, day and night). While some might gripe that a trailer or a commentary track would be standard for any DVD nowadays, The Best of Youth isn’t really remotely like anything you’ve seen before, especially with its running time, emotional resonance, and gigantic themes at play. Visually and aurally, the disc is fairly well balanced, the nearly spotless transfer complimenting the film’s Dolby 2.0 Italian language track. Sounds are crisp and clear – especially during one scene where Nicola’s wife meets with a man of questionable morals towards Italy’s future. The English subtitles easy to follow. Its visuals are softer at times, but I believe that’s how it looked during its initial theatrical run.


"You know, I think I’ll be happier over here with the Flannels…"


The Lowdown

Originally intended for Italian Television stations, the intense Best of Youth explodes onto our American market after sitting on a Miramax shelf for quite some time. Understandable, considering it begs the question – how do you market a massive interior epic about 35+ years in an Italian family’s life? and how do you make it accessible for the American public who would have to pay to see the film in two parts? It’s not an easy call, although here, I’m ecstatic to say just being able to watch the film at all is a miracle enough.

Director Marco Tullio Giordana’s ambitious undertaking punctuates the fragile bonds between brothers, family, and life, all with equal footing and a massive influx on character development. Frankly, the hours have their share of ups and downs and there are moments when you can really feel the weight of what you’ve set yourself down to watch, narratively-speaking. Still, when Best of Youth finds its niche you find yourself being drawn into the Carati family. It really succeeds across its relatively inward spectrum. It’s an interior epic dealing with not only historical events, but also how life breaks its daily bread throughout the lives of Nicola (essentially, it’s his story) and the turmoil behind Matteo’s personal demons. As such, there is passion and emotion lurking behind the frames – something lacking from a lot of today’s filmmaking. You just don’t see raw human emotion spilled out across your screen in these uncertain times. It’s the fake-real deal (the actors are simply stunning. Any lavish words I can muster up would be inadequate).

I might be a little ahead of myself, but The Best of Youth is arguably one of the finest ensemble foreign dramas ever produced and although it was a hell of a slog to get through (committing yourself is a task in itself) I can honestly say it’s a damn fine film. Not a masterpiece, but a spectacular achievement that transfixes you with its impressively low-key style. There are no explosions (other than ones of the heart and of emotion). There is little CGI (other than some simplistic outside-of-the-car riding shots). There is little-to-no reference of the Mafia, although Communism does have its day in the 70’s and 80’s. There is a sense of weighty developments, and they mostly all pay off one-by-one. Call me insane, but I honestly thought the movie ends rather abruptly, considering I’d been filmically involved with the Carati family and for as many years as it all plays out, I wanted to make sure it all turned out well. But such is the near-genius of the filmmaking on display here. They give you a lot by showing so little visually and do it so amazingly thorough. The Best of Youth works. Well.


"Phone home…"


See it if you can stomach the time, for its rewards are justifiable.

9.2 out of 10





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DVD REVIEW: MOONLIGHTING – SEASON 3

Buy me!BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Lions Gate
MSRP: $39.98
RATED: NR
RUNNING TIME: 774 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Memories of Moonlighting
• 4 Episode Commentaries

Almost a year ago, I reviewed the Season 1 & 2 set of Moonlighting (here) and I made the claim that it was the best show of the ‘80s. Well now the Season 3 set is here and it’s the best season of the best show of the ‘80s. You want the crazy episodes, you got ‘em. You want Dave and Maddie getting horizontal, you got it. You want DiPesto and Viola on their own adventures, you got that too. Due to Cybill Shepherd’s pregnancy with twins and Bruce Willis’ broken collar bone via skiing accident, this season was criminally shortened to just 15 episodes, and the lack of new material became a running joke throughout the year. But they packed in everything that made the show great and added new elements. Season 3 was where things were kicked up a notch…make that a couple of notches between Dave and Maddie, not the least of which was (scorn, contempt, more scorn) Sam (Mark Harmon).

Dave: “So that’s it, you’re just going to go hide in your office and be mad at me?”
Maddie: “I’m not mad at you, I hate you. I despise you, I loathe the ground under which you burrow.”



"Hi, I’m Bruce Willis."
"And
I’m Cybill Shepherd."
"We just wanted to take this time to thank you for buying this Season 3 set of Moonlighting, and also to apologize for the shortened season. I mean, honestly, it wasn’t Cybill’s fault that she got knocked up by her husband of five minutes, you know, what-was-his-name."
"Yeah…and of course it wasn’t Bruce’s fault that he pulled a Sonny Bono while skiing in, where was it? Idaho? Geez, I thought only creeps and losers lived there."
"Well, I’m sure you’d like it if you tore yourself away from your important projects like Texasville, Stormy Weathers or your latest Martha movie…"
"Well, Bruce, you know not everyone can be in great films like Hudson Hawk, Breakfast of Champions or Look Who’s Talking…"
"You screwed Elvis lately, Cybill?"
"How’s Ashton doing these days, Bruce?"
"Bitch."
"Bastard."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Good."
"Good."


The Show

Dave and Maddie are still solving cases straight out of the Twilight Zone, including a man who hires them to find his wife who’s been calling him, despite the fact he killed and buried her (The Man Who Cried Wife). There’s also the case of Yours, Very Deadly, where Maddie and Dave are hired by a woman who’s had a torrid correspondence with a man to let him know that the relationship is over. And in All Creatures Great and…Not So Great, Dave and Maddie are hired by a priest who’s developed a crush on a woman from confession who has told him she’s going to commit suicide. But while the weird cases come and go, the really big to-do in Season 3 is that David finally realizes that he loves Maddie and when he goes to do something about it, he’s waylaid by the emergence of (more scorn, more contempt, even more scorn) Sam, an astronaut and old friend of Maddie’s who’s arrived in town and set up shop in her heart (Blonde on Blonde). Their love triangle plays out in a multi-episode arc and finally ends in “the moment” that fans of the show had been waiting 2 ½ years for (I am Curious…Maddie). Also big for Season 3 was the addition of Herbert Viola (Curtis Armstrong) to the cast and the emergence of Agnes DiPesto as an even more central character. Theirs is a love that would set the heavens on fire….

Dave:
“I’ll tell you what I don’t believe in, I don’t believe in wasting any
more time, I’m sick of this! Two years. Two years of ‘is you is or is
you ain’t.’ Two years –“

Maddie: “Two years of bees bee-ing and ducks ducking and a man who thinks culture is dark beer…”



"I don’t know, Mr. Tamahori, your price seems a little high for a blowjob. Nice legs, though…"

This was definitely the season that changed everything for our heroes. All of the best of what made the first two seasons memorable are here, including the weird cases and special episodes. Notable among these are the trifecta of off-the-wall concept episodes of Atomic Shakespeare, It’s a Wonderful Job and The Straight Poop. Atomic Shakespeare is the genre-bending take on "Taming of the Shrew" thanks to a kid who wants to watch Moonlighting but has to read Shakespeare instead. Dave is a hip Petruchio to Maddie’s queen bitch of the universe, Kate. In It’s a Wonderful Job, Maddie is down in the dumps over Christmas when the office is mad at her for having to work over the holidays to finish a case and her aunt, whom she didn’t make the time to see, dies. So an angel named Albert gives her the Harry Bailey mind trip and shows her what things would be like if she had sold the agency. Basically Jonathan and Jennifer Hart (Hart to Hart) take over the agency, DiPesto is a cold-blooded corporate greeting card shark, and David is nailing Cheryl Tiegs. And in The Straight Poop, Rona Barrett shows up at the agency with a camera crew to get to the bottom of a feud between Dave and Maddie and find out what happened to David’s hair.

Dave: “Fine.”
Maddie: “Fine.”
Dave: “Good”
Maddie: “Good”
Dave: “Bitch.”
Maddie: “Bastard.”


In the latter half of the season, fans (including me) were riveted by the Maddie-Dave-(fucker) Sam love triangle. I remember being still in my formative years and taking the same gut shot Dave took in Blonde on Blonde when he was standing in the rain at Maddie’s door to confess his love for her and found (die, burn in hell, scum) Sam, who obviously just came from her bed to answer the door (Donna Dixon makes a smokin’ cameo in this episode by the way). Things with Sam and Maddie progressed to the point of a marriage proposal from Sam and things looked bad for our wisecracking hero until Sam is out of the picture and Maddie slaps Dave…and then kisses him. Clothes are shed, furniture is tossed and uglies are finally bumped. At the time, this episode got around a 40 share, which is Super Bowl type numbers today.

Dave
to Maddie after returning from vacation in Mexico and wearing a poncho
and sombrero: “This is a stick up! Give me all your clothes. And por
favor, do it slowly.”



Ssssssexxxxxxxyyyyy…


While this was the apex of the season, it was also, however, the very beginning of the end. The once playful relationship of innuendo and witty remarks slowly devolved into weird feelings, an unexpected pregnancy, a question of parentage, a spontaneous marriage (and not to David), madness and death (okay maybe not so much the last one). The point is that the (ass pirate) Sam storyline dominated the season. Add to that the fact that there were only 15 episodes in Season 3 and 14 in Season 4, with much of that season dragged down by the 500 lb. anvil of Maddie and Dave’s relationship until the end of the show – which went out with a whimper instead of a bang. But Season 3 was where the show was still hitting on all 8 cylinders…the only problem being that it hit on all 8 for 15 instead of 22. Still, it was the best.

10 out of 10

Dave: “Maddie, the man’s my father. The man who taught me about shaving. About women. About shaving women…”



Unfortunately, David Dunn’s jealousy of Superman’s x-ray vision got a little out of hand…


The Look

The episodes have been restored as much as possible, but they definitely show their age as there’s noticeable grain in several episodes. It was also shot in TV standard, which sucks of course. Still, Cybill Shepherd was looking mighty fine and Bruce Willis still had mighty fine hair.

6.8 out of 10

Maddie: “David, what are you doing down there?”
Dave: “If you’ve got to ask I must not be doing it right.”


The Noise

What was great about the show was the use of music, including the musical number of Good Lovin’ in Atomic Shakespeare, the Ronettes’ Be My Baby when Dave and Maddie do the deed, and Janet Jackson’s Nasty Boys and a cool soul riff by (I’m 99% sure) Al Jarreau in the end credits to set the proper mood in the pivotal episode Blonde on Blonde. They all sound fine in Dolby Digital. What’s especially nice on this show is that these were the actual songs by the actual singers and not soulless renditions by no name singers like they had on Knight Rider (or even scarier, Dancing with Celebrities today…not that I watch that drivel…). Anybody remember when Michael would be driving in KITT and listening to the Eagles or Juice Newton or whomever, only it wasn’t The Eagles or Juice Newton or whomever? That’s strictly Coach, baby. Moonlighting was definitely First Class when it came to the tunes. Don’t take my word for it? Watch the opening of the episode, Symphony in Knocked Flat and behold a quickie cameo by the Temptations. Psychedelic Shack, baby. The musical highlight of the entire season may have been when there was a big Broadway-style dance number in Big Man on Mulberry Street which features the titular song written by Billy Joel, supposedly just for Moonlighting.

8.4 out of 10

Maddie: “Two sets of people.”
Dave: “From the same Bureau.”
Maddie: “With the same story.”
Dave: “Looking for the same thing. Either somebody’s lying or the writers just Xeroxed the other scene.”



"Alright look, either we get the pay raises we’re looking for or I start singing Return of Bruno right here, right now…"


The Goodies

The special features are also good, particularly the variety of commentaries available on four episodes. Producer Jay Daniel riffs on the episode Big Man on Mulberry Street; and in a way cool move, they bring in Mark Harmon, who’s currently Mr. CBS with NCIS, to comment on the episode, Sam and Dave with creator Glenn Gordon Caron. The Straight Poop features a different kind of commentary in that five women, who were fans of the show, have worked on Moonlighting websites and who have worked on the campaign to bring Moonlighting to DVD give their take on the Rona Barrett episode. And finally, in what is a sure sign that the end times are here, Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd reunited and gave commentary on the wackiest episode of the year, Atomic Shakespeare. They’re joined by joined Daniel and Caron. But the jewel of the special features is Memories of Moonlighting, where everyone involved in the show, including Caron, Willis and Shepherd – together in one place at one time mind you – riff on their adventures and why Season 3 was the most tumultuous season during the show’s four year run.

7.7 out of 10

The Artwork

Good artwork in a nice glossy package. It’s presented in a light, easy to open case that’s clear and best of all, doesn’t stack the discs so you have to lift one to get to the other. Definitely liked it better than the Seasons 1 & 2 set (actually, the discs I got for that set were in individual plain wrappers with no DVD case. So a paper bag for this set would have been better). For Season 4, I hope they go with the publicity shot of Dave jumping up in the air in a tux and Maddie giving her usual regal pose.

7.8 out of 10

Dave: “We’re looking for a man with a mole on his nose.”
Doorman: “Mole on his nose?”
Maddie: “A mole on his nose.”
Doorman: “What kind of clothes?”
Maddie “What kind of clothes?”
Dave: “What kind of clothes do you suppose?”
Doorman: “What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?”
Dave:
“Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, this man that we’re
seeking with a mole on his nose, I’m not sure of his clothes or
anything else, except that he’s Chinese, a big clue in itself.”

Maddie: “How do you do that?”
Dave: “Gotta read a lot of Dr. Seuss.”
Doorman:
“I’m sorry to say, I’m sad to report, that I haven’t seen anyone at all
of that sort. Not a man who’s Chinese, with a mole on his nose, with
some kind of clothes that you can’t suppose. So, get away from this
door, and get out of this place or I’ll have to hurt you, put my foot
in your face.

Dave: “Oh.”
Maddie: “Time to go.”
Dave: “Time to go.”



"Bonfire of the Vanities…hmm, not a bad read…"


9.1 out of 10





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CREATE A SLITHER AD FOR CASH!

 What could be better than spending 90 minutes with ludicrous amounts of horrifying gore and sticky alien slugs (and Elizabeth Banks)? How about helping pimp it and getting 25 large for your efforts?

Yep, Universal is running a contest for the impending James Gunn slime-treat Slither, and if your promotional skills are up to snuff, you could get your mitts on a fat sack of cash. The skinny:

Create your own SLITHER television spot! One lucky person will win the grand prize of $25,000 in addition to the chance to have his/her advertising concept become part of the theatrical campaign. The contest will last for 10 days.

Universal will supply assets including clips, music and graphics so that contestants can customize the TV spot. There will be two options when deciding how to create the spot:

1. "Do it Yourself" (users can use their own editing software)
2. "Flash it Out" (a simpler application for those not familiar with editing)

25 semi-finalists will be chosen by Universal Pictures. Of these 25, five will be chosen for the final round by talent from the film. The four runners-up will each receive $1,000 and autographed Slither memorabilia. The grand prize winner will receive $25,000 and the chance for the spot to air on TV as part of the advertising campaign. The 20 semi-finalists will receive a SLITHER prize pack and one of Universal Pictures’ classic horror films on DVD.

On March 9th, users can go to the "Slither Theatre" section of the official site to rate the submissions. Winners will be announced March 27th.

Click HERE to get to the contest!


The official line on all the gooey goodness:

The sleepy town of Wheelsy could be any small town in America–somewhat quaint and gentle, peopled with friendly folks who mind their own business. But just beneath the surface charm, something unnamed and evil has arrived…and is growing. No one seems to notice as telephone poles become clogged with missing pet flyers, or when one of the town’s richest citizens, Grant Grant (Michael Rooker), begins to act strangely. But when farmers’ livestock turn up horribly mutilated and a young woman goes missing, Sheriff Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion) and his team, aided by Grant’s wife Starla (Elizabeth Banks), uncover the dark force laying siege to their town…and come face-to-face with an older-than-time organism intent on absorbing and devouring all life on Earth.

Slither is the feature film directing debut of screenwriter James Gunn (the recent hit re-envisioning of Dawn of the Dead) and stars Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Gregg Henry and Michael Rooker. It is also written by Gunn. Slither –a Universal Pictures and Gold Circle Films presentation of a Strike Entertainment Production–is produced by Paul Brooks and Eric Newman.






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THOR’S COMIC COLUMN

Sci-Fi Adventure Series “The Warlord” Returns!

By Sean Fahey

 Mike Grell was a popular guy around the Fahey household during the early eighties.  John Sable: Freelance was probably the first (no pun intended) “independent” comic I ever read – way before people even cared about those things – and Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters (of course along with The Dark Knight Returns) was the first time I remember taking superheroes seriously.  And the there was… The Warlord.  During those formative years, few comics could match the sheer sci-fi high adventure awesomeness of The Warlord.  Nobody back then did sword and sorcery comic books like Mike Grell.  Nobody.  That dark day in 1986 when the series was cancelled is second only to the Irish Potato Famine as the great tragedies mourned by Clan Fahey.  Well, February 2006 brings cause for celebration, as The Warlord returns to its rightful place on the comic stands as a new ongoing series courtesy of writer Bruce Jones and artist Bart Sears – and suffice it say that fans, both old and new, will dig this comic book. 

Like any first issue, Warlord # 1 is an introduction.  But Bruce Jones manages to avoid the boring linear origin approach typical of so many first issues by crafting an interesting dual story structure to open the series up with.  In framing the first issue this way, Jones very deftly suggests that the convergence of the two storylines is anything but accidental.  One track follows daring test pilot Travis Morgan, pushing an experimental new aircraft to its limits.  The other track involves the political maneuverings of several power players on the Planet Skartaris, where the militaristic Kolosians threaten the kingdom of Shamballah.  Brovis, the King of Kolosis, offers peace (when he’s not busy slaughtering those who oppose him in gladiatorial combat) in return for the hand of Princess Tara.  But Tara is working behind the scenes to find a warrior strong enough to lead her people to freedom.  Ultimately the two stories intersect when Travis (accidentally?) passes through a dimensional barrier and ends up on this strange and fantastic new world…as an answer to Tara’s prayers? 

I’ll put it to you straight.  We need more comic books like this.  We need the kind of diversity that series like Jonah Hex, Conan and The Warlord bring to mainstream comics.  And there’s just nothing like a good science-fiction fantasy yarn, which Jones and Sears look to have the makings of here.  Much in the spirit of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Robert E. Howard, The Warlord has a real (albeit more contemporary) pulp feel to it – from the characters, to the dialogue, to the settings to the story itself.  Jones and Sears work hand in hand to create a rich and vibrant fantasy world populated by stoic and brutal barbarians, voluptuous and cunning women and terrible and bizarre creatures.  And the story is big, as in planet-wide conflict big.  Put simply, The Warlord is an issue of “Amazing Stories” with a modern touch.  An exciting and imaginative read – The Warlord is back!

FOUR OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS

DC lets Scott Hampton roll Solo

By Graig Kent

 I really dig DC’s Solo series, the bi-monthly anthology that thrusts the spotlight on a single creator allowing them to do with their 48 pages (advert-free) as they please.  Most of the artists that have been allowed the Solo treatment have opted for an anthology-style, playing with characters within the DC Universe, creating their own tales, or telling autobiographical stories.  While I havn’t picked up every issue of the series (having little interest in a couple of the creators highlighted so far), as of this issue I’m five for nine, and of those five I’ve enjoyed each and every one of them.

But for me, this Scott Hampton issue is something else.  I don’t owe any particular allegiance to Hampton, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been a devoted follower, but every time I encounter his work, I’m stunned, and, needless to say, infinitely impressed.  Solo #9 is no exception.  A quintet of tales show off Hampton’s dexterity and array of styles: watercolor, pen and ink, and ink washes, or a mix of the three.  In this issue Hampton also gives us an insiders look at his creation process – from roughs to pencils to inks to paint – which is brief but fascinating for anyone interested in the creation process.

Not to be outdone, his writing here is top-notch as well.  Sure, a collection of stories in 48 pages doesn’t allow for much expansion but sometimes you just don’t need it.  The first story, “Batman: 1947” (co-written with John Hitchcock), is a cute tale about a man in the 1940’s who dresses up as Batman from the serialized films for their premiere, only to be thrust into a situation where he must act the role for real.  Hampton follows this up by illustrating an intriguing broken-English love letter he found on a passenger train years ago.  The third tale, “Another Success Story” is a darkly-humorous work of fiction set inside the comic book industry, in which an ostracized comic book creator hires a couple of no-talent boobs to be his facemen in order to keep working, until it all goes sour.  The fourth tale is a quick one, full of spacemen, monsters, and a couple jabs at ol’ “President Shrub”, mainly included as a reference point for his “creation tour”.  Last, but definitely not least (in fact the highlight of the issue) is “The Road To Samarra”, which is a Twilight Zone-esque tale which is the kind of thrilling, cold-shiver, creepy suspense-horror that Hampton absolutely excels at telling, and this one is a whopper.

I’ve only had this copy of Solo for five days, and already it’s dog-eared.  I’ve thumbed through it a half-dozen times and I’ve read a couple of the stories two and three times over.  While it’s definitely not high-brow, it’s certainly fine-art with a layman sensibility.  Harkening back to old Creepy stories and taking a nod artistically from Wally Wood is only part of this issue’s charm, Hampton delivers sheer reading pleasure through and through.

FOUR AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS
4.5

Captain America Still Deserves the A

By Christ Breault

 Everybody likes Brubaker’s Captain America. In essentially one story (issues 1-14, I don’t care how they’re officially broken up) he turned the character’s life upside down and shook him till everything fell out. Besides the well-publicized, smoothly handled twists – the death of the Red Skull, the reintroduction of Bucky – the book moved Cap to a harsher, richer, and more personal space that no previous incarnation of the title had attempted to find. I mostly remember Cap’s solo title as the home of stories about him going to the Savage Land and punching that giant head that ran AIM. This Captain America, though, is a guy who can get tired and beat up and confused, whose corny wholesomeness (which is played down a little) feels less false once placed within Brubaker’s pessimistic vision.

And no issue of the title is darker than this one, which drops the Winter Soldier stuff (not really resolved in issue 14) to pick up another thread – Crossbones, who had previously broken the Red Skull’s daughter out of a SHIELD facility. The book’s ensemble cast is one of its strongest assets, and this story drops Cap almost completely to focus on Crossbones’ attempts to “deprogram” the reformed Synthia, who remembers nothing of her criminal past. While essentially an exposition issue, loaded with flashbacks and backstory, it’s one of the more compelling prologues/interludes to show up in a comic recently. As one of the most brutal, petty villains in Cap’s world, Crossbones is also one of its most interesting characters, and his persistence and twisted sense of loyalty are explored capably here.

Perkins’s art drains all the detail and pomp out of the superhero world, leaving a claustrophobic, muted environment that perfectly complements the story being told here. The whole book feels spare and fascinating, even if its ending feels like a foregone conclusion (why would the story be included at all if it didn’t lead to the rebirth of another villain?) Brubaker continues introducing new elements to his story, and hasn’t eliminated many of the old ones; this is all about the continuing influence of the Skull, a guy who died in the first issue. It’s tough to judge how, or if, Brubaker can bring all his disparate plot elements together. For now, the book’s still great.

FOUR OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS
 

Still Lots of Life in Usagi Yojimbo


By
Elgin Carver

 There are, unfortunately, a comparatively few number of comics originated by, and completed by one and the same person. I say this because with almost any creative project, the originator understands the intent, the clarity requisite for that undefinable something that grabs you and insists on being enjoyed. What I believe to be the longest running book in this category today is Usagi Yojimbo, a "funny animal" comic set in feudal Japan, whose title character is a rabbit ronin (a masterless samurai). While one may be able to dredge up a few titles from the dim past that approached their subject matter in a serious manner, and used cartoon animals as the images, generally this genre that fallen by the wayside, and other than Maus no other title leaps to mind from the recent past.


This book has appeared on a reliable schedule for a number of years, also rare for creator written and drawn books, especially since the quality seldom wavers in its consistently solid stories. These stories are often multi-issue arcs, with quite mature themes. Now I am not speaking of sexual activity, although I am sure a rabbit will follow his nature, and I do not mean blood and guts, although characters are killed on at least as regular a schedule as in the Punisher. I refer to that difficult to define quality that differentiates The Maltese Falcon from, say, XXX. Here, clearly, Humphrey Bogart would fit the long ears better than Vin Diesel.

I wouldn’t recommend this issue as an introduction, since this is the second issue in the present story arc, although one could certainly catch up on the story quickly enough. Better that you go to the back issue bin, pick out ten or so contiguous issues, and then make sure your pull list has Usagi on it. It is not a spectacular comic (I congratulate Stan Sakai and Dark Horse for keeping this comic in black and white. The Seven Samurai should never be colorized and neither should Usagi.), but it is superior in quality with few contemporary challengers for consistency, thoughtfulness, and depth.

FOUR OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS

The Amazing Spiderman Doesn’t Swing as Strong

By Elgin Carver

 For the past 20 years or so, a kind of mania has swept through the corporate suits of comicdom from time to time, and taken hold in some of the worst possible places. The mania manifests when someone, or group of someones, feels that stories are becoming stale, or, and this may be more likely, sales are slumping. This obsession can become a positive thing and the retro look becomes a part of the mythos. The Dark Knight is the example that first springs to mind. Batman was re-energized, and echoes of those four issues can still be heard in most of today’s books. I enjoy the Ultimate titles which are taking a more modern, slightly skewed look at most of Marvel’s main characters. It’s being done in a mature and reasonable way, for what it is. More commonly, this mania interferes with both the previous history of the character and the future possibilities in a negative way, carrying the books off into plot lines that clearly would be better served by creating a new character or, preferably, forgotten altogether. Remember the Death of Superman? The Clone Saga for Spiderman?

Spiderman is clearly off on one of these jaunts. Will it be a good trip or bad? The signs are not promising. Spider-Man #529 revolves, in what is a rather heavy handed manner, around a new costume, created by Tony Stark, that is bullet proof (for the most agile superhero on the planet), monitors his heartbeat (for a man with spider senses), and flies, sort of (for someone who now has "natural" spider shooters and can swing on the webs). Why? Here I pause to let you know that I completely spoil the issue in the following sentence, so if you must read on, be forewarned.

The whole point of creating this new costume was to make Spiderman into Iron Man’s sidekick! Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, would anyone take the most recognizable moneymaker in their stable, their business icon, and make him into the second banana for someone unknown to probably 90% of the population at large? I can only assume that either one or the other’s character’s sales are slumping in an alarming manner, or an attempt is being made to piggyback one character on the popularity of the other in anticipation of making a movie that needs a little interest push. (I will here refrain from a long diatribe on Marvel’s inability to make good movies on their own. Remember the first FF movie? The first Punisher? The first Captain America? etc. I tremble with dread anticipating what they will now create with their new production and distribution arrangements.)

This trip to me seems to be a straight and broad, one way avenue deep into the heart of darkness. For the love of God, put on the brakes and let me out.

TWO OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS
2 Vikings

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk – “Hulk Smash” Indeed, this book’s smashingly good”

By Jeb D.

 It’s ironic that one of the most “old-school” comics this week comes from a comics newbie: Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof. Working with artist Lenil Francis Yu, Lindelof has taken one of the classic encounters of the original Marvel Universe (Wolverine was first introduced as an enemy for The Hulk), spun it Ultimate, and come up with the kind of comic that reminds us how much entertainment can still be mined from these age-old characters and situations.

The story so far: Following his murderous rampage in the first Ultimates series, The Hulk is at large, and SHIELD chief Nick Fury has dispatched the mutant X-Man Wolverine to track him down. “Ultimate” Hulk is well-named: bigger, fiercer, and deadlier than his MU counterpart. Issue #1 ended with a startled Wolverine finding The Hulk in an unexpected place, both geographically… and mentally. And it’s no spoiler to say that we already know their first encounter doesn’t go well for young Mr. Logan.

Issue #2 takes us back to the story of how The Hulk got there. It starts with his (literally) explosive escape from his fate, and continues along a structure that echoes the old Hulk TV series (with some specific in-joke references), as we see Bruce Banner traveling the world, trying to leave The Hulk, and the betrayal by his girlfriend, behind him. At every step, though, Banner encounters people who refuse to understand someone who is different, and troubled—NOT The Hulk, though, but Bruce himself. And meeting this constant lack of humanity sets the stage for panel after gleeful panel of “Hulk Smash!”  I don’t know if this is the first time we’ve ever seen Bruce Banner in analysis, but I can’t imagine anyone ever topping Bruce’s encounter here with a Parisian psychiatrist.

It’s all a very neat twist on the question of Banner’s identity, and The Hulk’s, which deepens as Bruce finally makes his way to a most unusual mountaintop refuge, and finds an unexpected wise man. The issue ends where issue #1 did, with the two antagonists staring each other down… and a note from Lindelof (or maybe editor Ralph Macchio): “Enough chitchat—let’s get to the damn fight!” Don’t worry—I’ll be there.

Artist Lenil Francis Yu seems to have stepped up his game even from his impressive work on Silent Dragon. Artists can get into trouble when they vary their paneling too much—it’s easy to get out of synch, and distract the reader—but Yu whips up a wild stew of conventional grids, layered and cascading panels, inserts, diagonals, and one spectacular splash, that suit Lindelof’s storytelling rhythms perfectly. He does a great job of building a conversation to a perfect setup, then delivering the “punch line” in the form of the aforementioned “Hulk Smash!” goodness. As unlikely as it seems, Yu’s Hulk is even bigger and scarier than Bryan Hitch’s: the effect of the transformation seems to be bursting out of him at every moment, with mucles and tendons bulging impossibly, his rage too great for even his massive frame to contain.

This is vintage superhero storytelling: simple to the point of being almost primal, smart without being snarky, beautifully balanced between ideas and mayhem. You’d be hard pressed to find two Marvel characters I usually have less interest in than Hulk or Wolverine, but trust me when I say, whether in individual issues, or the eventual trade collection, you shouldn’t miss this one.

FOUR OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS


Ultimate Spiderman Simply Serves Its Purpose

By Elgin Carver

 I have found that the Ultimate titles, a more mature and updated retelling of the origins of the Marvel Universe, read better and cohere more understandably when read en masse. Chronology skips a little, a lot goes unsaid, and some characterization seems skimpy. Still, as a whole, they are enjoyable and refreshing. The Spider-Man of this series is still a teenager, still enthusiastic, still naive and impressionable. However, where he was once an independent actor, moving where and how his conscience dictated, here he is a mere drone to Nick Fury, en egomaniacal benevolent dictator who thinks his will is above all law and all control. (As an aside, it would be interesting to have a good legal scholar edit superhero comics for a year or so, and constrain their actions within our legal system. The final outcome of most of these stories would certainly differ from what we now enjoy.) Still, we perforce must accept the world presented to us, and within that cosmos Nick rules supreme. And, he rules Spiderman.

In general I enjoy this series. As I mature I want my comics to mature. These certainly do. They present a more complex moral situation. They make the demarcation of where good ends and bad begins a more subtle transition. The question of whether having the power to act, is the answer to whether one should, is constantly asked. I like the Ultimates and read each and every one.

In issue #90, the fact that Spider-Man is a mere pawn of Nick Fury, becomes ever more clearly delineated to the reader. That Spiderman is an outsider, even to the other hero’s held in thrall by Fury is illustrated. The corruption of power is hinted at. The complexity of the situation is maintained. Still, I find myself somehow not quite satisfied.

The art is consistent with past issues, but not quite to my taste. I quickly acknowledge that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. The work is certainly competent. Craftsmanlike. Professional. I suppose that for what is becoming the flagship series for Marvel, at least for me,  I want epic, panoramic, idiosyncratic, personal, distinctive, eyeball bursting art. This is middle of the road. Not bland, not spicy. One could easily argue that it matches the story. I have read it three times now and it has improved from the first reading but it feels like nothing other than a fill in; a necessary step from an important part of the plot to another that is coming later. Where the plot line is going seems a little obvious to me, but in fairness I probably need to wait a few more issues to see if this is a mere transition or a pivot point.

THREE OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS
3

Black Panther meets Blade in the Big Easy

By Mark Wheaton

 As Black Panther begins its second year, kudos must be given to writer Reginald Hudlin and artist Scot Eaton for resurrecting a marginal Marvel character and turning his eponymous title into a must-read.  That said, with the promise of the last panel of issue #12, issue #13 can’t help but be a disappointment as – in one issue – it ties up the entire storyline begun in #12 that teamed T’Challa with Blade, Brother Voodoo and Luke Cage to fight a horde of redneck vampires preying on poor blacks left behind in Katrina-aftermath New Orleans.

Yes, this Three the Hard Way + Blade adventure could’ve easily gone for months and probably would have been a storied, action-packed run.  It might’ve expanded on the mythos of Blade and Brother Voodoo (a character as underused as the Black Panther) and then brought in Big Easy-native Monica Rambeau (aka Captain Marvel aka Pulsar) whose addition in the second half of issue #13 feels like too many cooks in the kitchen rather than a great way of revamping all these characters (though Rambeau is a part of Warren Ellis’s NextWave) at once.  Instead, it’s two, all-too-brief issues (well, Cage appeared earlier, but they’ve only been in Louisiana for two) that promise more than they can deliver.

But enough about what might’ve been.

As issue #13 begins, our four heroes face off against a mad horde of New Orleans vampires, many dating from the plantation days who want nothing more than to bring slavery back in order to create a baby-farm that’s blood would feed their number for years and years.  The superheroes swing into action, using all the wood they can find – going so far as to collapse the ruined building they’re in – to stake all the hundreds of vampires.  The most fun part, of course, is watching each of the different heroes fight vampires in their own way – the Black Panther getting a new suit and ebony blade (a sword so nifty that Blade deadpanedly asks it to be willed to him when T’Challa dies), Brother Voodoo going to the spirit world and Luke Cage just beating ass.

Once the big monster fight concludes, ending with humorous banter between the stand-offish Blade and the easily-irritated Cage (who gets rankled every time Brother Voodoo disappears into the netherworld and leaves just three to fight), the group effectively splits up – Brother Voodoo and Luke Cage go to smash the coffin of the main vampire only to end up fighting a gargoyle-type demon as Blade goes to kill the main vampire alone.  At the same time, the Black Panther goes to find Monica Rambeau, who is aiding her father, as she’s the most powerful of all of them and can destroy every vampire at once.

Though all this is then resolved in just a handful of pages, there’s still fun to be had.  The gargoyle “tenderizing” Luke Cage before eating him is funny, Blade learning that – yes – there are superheroes far more powerful than him that can save his ass is neat, but then the ending, with Brother Voodoo, Luke Cage and T’Challa driving off in a cherry-red ’59 El Dorado convertible while they wonder where Blade went off to (as Luke Cage tries to put the moves on T’Challa’s two female bodyguards), is a great capper.

With the “Bride of the Panther” storyline rearing its hopefully-not-as-bad-as-it-sounds head, it is understandable why Marvel chose to finish off this team-up in two issues so that they could move back into the Storm-T’Challa plotline that fed into the House of M stories.  That said, should Marvel ever feel compelled to bring these five characters back together for a pure-action adventure, it would be most welcome.

At one point, an old man listening to the Black Panther convince Rambeau to join them says, “Did you hear the rap he just put on her?  The Black Panther is a pimp!”  Indeed.


 

THREE AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS

3 and a half

Astonishing X-Men: Bad Girls, Bad Girls—Whatcha gonna do?

By Jeb D.

 Marvel Comics has developed many of its superheroines from characters first introduced as villains: Medusa, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, etc. (there’s a great research paper there). And from her earliest days as the White Queen of the perverse Hellfire Club, Emma Frost was one of the most villainous: a powerful psychic with the air (and costume) of a dominatrix, who quickly became the X-Men’s principal female baddie.

Sometime while I wasn’t looking (i.e., the 90’s), Marvel moved Emma over to the side of the angels (I half suspect it was an artist who figured he would get to draw her more often if she was an X-Man rather than a villain). She was given the lead of a mutant second-team called Generation X (who even managed to appear in a movie before the X-Men did), and became a fixture in the Marvel Universe.

Grant Morrison then took over the flagship X title… and young Mr. Morrison fell in love with the icy blonde in the hot white leathers. He soon had Emma in Xavier’s inner circle, and while Morrison restored some of Emma’s lost “edge” (literally—she developed a “secondary mutation” that can turn her body to diamond), he completed her motivational downgrade: she went from domination and torture to stealing Jean Grey’s man. By the time he was done, although she was still an entertaining character, Emma seemed not so much evil as, well… grouchy.

When Joss Whedon became Morrison’s de facto successor with Astonishing X-Men, one of the first things he did was to remind us of the potency of Emma’s original characterization. He brought Kitty Pryde back to Xavier’s mansion, and Kitty knew from the first that Emma’s presence there was simply wrong. As she reminded us, their first meeting involved Emma kidnapping Kitty and nearly murdering the X-Men. For the first 11 issues of Astonishing X-Men, the Emma-Kitty feud seemed the sort of bad-tempered bickering often used to add spice to a superhero team. Then, with issue 12, Whedon yanked the rug out from under us: Kitty was right, as we saw Emma receiving psychic communication from a reconstituted Hellfire Club.

Now, Astonishing X-Men returns with issue #13, and it would appear that Kitty was even more right than she knew. This issue centers around a meeting between Emma and a Hellfire Club even deadlier  than the one she used to run with: the mass-murdering psychic Cassandra Nova is now one of its members. Whedon makes it clear that Emma has been secretly involved with this new Hellfire Club for quite some time, but it’s equally clear that they have been expecting her to exploit the X-Men from within long before this, and the other members of the group are getting impatient waiting for results.

Is Emma a traitor? Double agent? Is all of what we’re shown actually “real” (remember, we’re talking psychics here)? No easy answers yet. Whedon even gives us a classic “hooded villain” called Perfection, who is evidently the eminence grise behind the group, and I’m sure that “her”(?) identity will make for plenty of guessing down the road.

Elsewhere, we get to see Logan “training” some of the younger mutants who survived the recent “Decimation”, and Whedon is one of the few writers who seems to be able get laughs out of Wolverine without making him into a buffoon. Cyclops and Beast swap emotional issues, and Kitty tackles her feelings about Colossus’ return. The dialog is Whedon-sharp, and if he’s not yet in Grant Morrison’s league as a comic writer, he “gets” these characters better than Morrison often did. The issue reaches a quiet climax with Perfection looking deeper into Emma’s heart than even Cassandra Nova can, with results that don’t appear to be reassuring for our blond bombshell.

The John Cassaday/Laura Martin art team turns in their usual stunning job. The contrast to their work on Planetary is apt: Planetary is a book about, well, the “planet”, and the highly-detailed environment is as much a member of the cast as any of the principals. In contrast, of course, X-Men is a soap opera, and just like Days of Our Lives, the facial closeup is the money shot here. And, while the idea is obviously Whedon’s, Cassaday and Martin make that last full-page panel look insanely creepy.

Whedon has said that the first half of this new run of Astonishing X-Men will focus on character pieces, with the action picking up (and dovetailing with the first series) towards the end. The good news, then, is that he’s ensnaring his characters in an intriguing mystery with roots going all the way back to the glory days of Claremont-Byrne; the bad news, of course, is that we don’t appear to have a lot of “fastball specials” in the immediate future. I’d love to see the two aspects better balanced, but the quality of the book is too high for that to be any serious complaint.

THREE AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS

3 and a half

Ultimate Extinction Continues Big Thrills

By Elgin Carver

 Entire eras of comics can be represented by just a few books and the 1960s Marvels cannot be better understood than in The Fantastic Four issues # 48, 49, and 50. The expansion of power and concepts extrapolated into mind-numbing proportions began here. And Marvel in the 60’s was the exploration of power in never ending growth.

Warren Ellis has taken on the task of updating this iconic visitation, and bravely so. Begun in the Ultimate Nightmare story arc, continued in the Ultimate Secret arc, and presumably ending in the Ultimate Extinction arc, I have read and am waiting with bated breath, to determine if another era can be defined by a retelling of a 40 year old story. Where the original story seemed restricted to the forces directly involved, Galactus, his minions, and the FF, this retelling demonstrates what the effects on us common folk would be. The horrifying destruction is more personally described and illustrated. The realities of such a fantastically powerful and impassive creature come into far better focus. Lee and Kirby took only three issues, but that was during the first era of ongoing stories. No one knew how patient the public would be with only a portion of the story being told on a monthly basis. This is the tenth issue for the story, and the slower development has a chilling effect, with growing anticipation and dread. At first I was a little unsure about the art in this issue but it is distinctive and apropos. It quickly grew on me, although I found the cover to be less impressive than issue #1.

At the end of this issue there is an interview with Ellis and, while not a waste of time, although it turns into an ad for another title, it reveals his thinking and lets us know that Gah Lak Tus will not be Galactus. It also has the unfortunate effect of demonstrating a distinctly condescending attitude toward the original story and those who find it compelling, especially toward those of us old enough to have read the story when it first appeared. I will charitably consider his statements lighthearted, but they were very off-putting. This may demonstrate what seems to be a major hurdle in getting comics to the next step of acceptability. Even the creators look down on the fan base. if they ever realize their customers are every bit as intellectually sound as themselves and start writing for their equals, comics will be elevated in the eyes of the general public to something approaching that found in Japan and, to some extent, Europe. Until then it will be "children’s literature." That Gah Lak Tus will not be an entity as Kirby created is a disappointment, but I’m not ready to throw out the baby with the bath water. Lets see the next issue.

THREE OUT OF FIVE VIKINGS

3


Kid Eternity TPB
DC Comics

By Mark Wheaton

 With Grant Morrison’s recent Seven Soldiers project, it’s only fitting that DC’s Vertigo label should re-issue one of Morrison’s first forays into re-inventing obscure characters from the DC Universe, this time the incredibly surreal 1991 update of the war-era character, Kid Eternity. 

Kid Eternity first came around in 1942, a sort of wish-fulfillment character shamelessly borrowed from the popular film Here Comes Mr. Jordan (which itself borrowed from several short stories from the UK and elsewhere) that was killed in World War II, but upon reaching Heaven, was informed he’d died seventy-five years too soon.  So, the “kid” – as he was known – was sent on a seventy-five year mission to do good on Earth. 

His wacky, Golden Age power?  By saying the word “eternity,” he could summon any similarly good character from the past or mythology (?) to help him in doing good – all while accompanied by a sort of after-life accountant named Mr. Keeper. 

Naturally, Grant Morrison – fresh off his legendary, status quo-up-ending run on Doom Patrol and the real achievement that was Batman: Arkham Asylum – decided to turn Kid Eternity into something that feels at home with Neil Gaiman’s Sandman adventures (and his book, Neverwhere) or in the pages of Hellblazer.  Featuring the






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DVD REVIEW: UFC CLASSICS – VOL. 1

DVD RackBuy me!BUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Lions Gate Home Entertainment
MSRP: $19.98
RATED: NR
RUNNING TIME: 89 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Hall of Fame Interviews




The Pitch


“Tired of watching Van Damme and Eric Roberts fight in fictional no holds barred tournaments? Get ready to watch real people beat the crap out of each other in a monumental clash of styles!”

The Humans

Royce Gracie, Ken Shamrock, Gerard Gordeau, Kevin Rosier and Jim Brown

The Nutshell

Eight fighters from around the globe converge in Denver, Colorado to determine who the ultimate fighter really is. The fighters specialize in various fighting disciplines ranging from boxing to sumo to ju-jitsu. All will compete in one tournament to settle once and for all what the superior fighting style is. The fights are no holds barred and no time limits are in place. The winner will be the fighter with the skills and heart to outlast all comers. The rest will be picking their teeth up off of the canvas.


No one ridicules Jim Brown’s performance in Mars Attacks and lives to tell about it. No one.


The Package

UFC Classics 1 is presented in full screen format in Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo sound. The event hasn’t been altered in any way shape or form, so you get to experience the tournament in all of its early ‘90s glory. The beginning of the event employs the use of several horrible early video effects in a futile attempt to look cool. These slow motion effects are so jarring and awfully executed that they’ll give most viewers headaches.

The video quality is good throughout the event but is hardly up to the standards of modern MMA event releases. This can be attributed to the low quality of the initial pay-per-view broadcast or perhaps the original VHS release was used as the source material. The audio track is of good quality, which might not be such a good thing considering the annoying voices of the terrible announcers on this event.

The only extras are two short interviews with Ken Shamrock and Royce Gracie. Two grizzled veterans of the sport, both give their unique recollections about participating in the first MMA event of the modern age. They share their observations on the evolution of the sport as well as their rebuttals to the critics of the UFC.

The Lowdown

Mixed martial arts fighting is quickly becoming a popular sport in the United States thanks in part to the UFC and their Ultimate Fighter reality show. MMA’s ultimate aim seems to be surmounting boxing in popularity and as each day passes that goal seems more attainable. MMA is more than just two men fighting. It’s a complicated contest between two fighters in which both must employ strategy and toughness to knock the other out or make them submit. Despite claims that MMA is a bloodsport and unnecessarily violent, the sport is actually quite safe in its current form and every precaution is taken to ensure the safety of the participants.

But it wasn’t always that way. UFC Classics 1 presents the very first Ultimate Fighting Championship. A far cry from the current form of MMA, UFC 1 is a bloody tournament in which there are no rules. The event represents the dawning of a new sport, but simultaneously represents all the fears and criticisms of MMA made real. This event contains all the sheer brutality and violence that critics of the sport abhor, making it difficult to watch. Make no mistake, this isn’t the current form of intricate fighting a modern MMA fan expects – it’s a bar room brawl.

This is the inaugural UFC event, and as such it’s readily apparent that no one involved has any clue what they’re doing. The announcers are incredibly inept, bumbling over each other and completely unable to describe what’s going on. The referees are uneducated on the intricacies of the sport, allowing fights to continue even after tap-outs and people are knocked out. The event flaunts the lack of rules as if it’s a good thing, allowing hair pulling and eye gouging. The fights don’t even have time limits or judges. The fight continues until someone submits or they get beaten so badly that their corner throws in the towel.


Discount tooth removal courtesy of Dr. Gordeau


UFC 1 is by no means a MMA classic. New MMA fans will probably be shocked at the lack of technique and celebration of brutality that the event represents. UFC 1 is more of a history lesson than an entertaining event, and should be viewed by anyone who wants to see how far the sport has come. The first event of its kind, UFC 1 pitted fighters of various combat styles against each other. It sounds like a good idea on paper, but it quickly became apparent that particular styles were much better suited to the octagon. Fighters utilizing boxing and sumo were quickly defeated, some submitting even though they weren’t in holds – they simply had no clue how to grapple.

MMA fans interested in history should view UFC 1 for the sole purpose of observing Royce Gracie in action. Gracie is one of the few fighters in the tournament to employ submission techniques and defeats most opponents without even breaking a sweat. Royce’s dominance would lead to the evolution of MMA fighters cross-training in several disciplines and becoming well-rounded in all techniques. The sluggers participating in UFC 1 wouldn’t last thirty seconds in modern MMA tournaments.

As a event in itself, UFC 1 is barbaric, sloppy and hard to watch, but as a history lesson on the sport it’s invaluable. If UFC continues to release their past events on DVD, the series should provide a clear evolution of the sport throughout the past decade. Whether you’re a new MMA fan or an old hand at the sport, UFC Classics 1 is worth checking out once just to see how it all began.

7.0 out of 10





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