DVD REVIEW: BLACK CLOUD

DVD RackBlack Cloud CoverBUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!

STUDIO: New Line Home Entertainment
MSRP: $19.98

RATED:
PG-13

RUNNING TIME: 97 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:

Commentary with Rick Schroder, Tim McGraw and Jimmy Gambina
Trailers

The Pitch

“It’s Rocky, but the main character is a Native American, there’s a lot more angst,
and the fight scenes are impossible to follow!”

The Humans

Rick Schroder, Eddie Spears, Julia Jones, Russell Means, “Pooch” Marion Hall, Wayne Knight, and Tim McGraw.

The Nutshell

Black Cloud is a Navajo Indian who happens to be a natural talent when it comes to boxing. He has the opportunity to fight for a spot on the Olympic team in Las Vegas, but his own personal demons continue to hold him back. He struggles to deal with his self-hatred over being a mixed blood Indian and the destructive behavior of those around him. Eventually he must choose between letting his problems pull him down or finally growing up as a person and punching people in the head for his country.


Rick Schroder knows what the audience wants – Rick Schroder getting brutalized.


The Package

For a film that was a mere blip on the radar in limited release, New Line didn’t skimp on the presentation. The video quality of Black Cloud is great, and the film offers 5.1 surround and DTS tracks. The only problem with the presentation is the animated menus, which take a bit too long to stop animating and allow the viewer to select something. I like watching rolling clouds as much as anyone, but I could do without them appearing in every single menu and sub-menu.

The only extra of note is the commentary track. Rick Schroder is the only one with much to add, seeing as he wrote, directed, produced and starred in the film. Boxing coach Jimmy Gambina also sits in on the track to comment on the boxing scenes, a wasted effort when the scenes are this unrealistic. Tim McGraw is included on the commentary as well, presumably to lure country music fans into buying this package.


He put up a spirited effort, but fell to the mighty Bald Bull charge like all the rest.


The Lowdown

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a troubled fighter comes to grips with his own life and overcomes trials and tribulations to win the big one. If it’s too much to create an original or compelling boxing film, I think the least I can ask for is that the boxing scenes be entertaining. Unfortunately, Black Cloud is plagued by the same problem that most modern sports movies have. All shots of the sports action are in quick, close-up cuts that make it almost impossible to follow the action or get a sense of who is winning or losing.

Another problem with the film is that the main character is just plain unlikable. For a character to be a true underdog, he at least needs to be appealing enough for the audience to get behind him. Black Cloud continually alienates everyone around him and in the process alienates the viewer. It’s also worth noting that Black Cloud is much like Rocky and Van Damme in that he powers up by letting himself get punched in the head for most of the round. I’ll never understand how that one works.


Above: Tim McGraw is outacted by his hat.


Tim McGraw seems to have been included in the film just so Schroder could include some of his music without paying for it. Either that or the casting director was really impressed with his ability to stare into space and deliver his lines in monotone. One of the most bizarre scenes in the film comes when Black Cloud and his girlfriend go to apply for housing, where Wayne Knight tries to pick up the girlfriend and spews racist remarks about Indians. This scene encapsulates the film’s weak efforts to handle complex issues with all the subtlety of a jackhammer.

Black Cloud can’t pull off its dramatic scenes or its boxing scenes, making it both a failure as a drama and as a sports movie. Just another in a long line of mediocore sports films destined to fade away in obscurity.

5.0 out of 10





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CHEADLE GETS GANGSTER LEAN

csaUniversal has already sunk lots of money into the film American Gangster –  both Denzel Washington and Benicio Del Toro had pay or play deals when they signed on to the film just before it imploded. That, of course, means that they got paid for doing diddly shit, which I am under the impression is a familiar situation for many of our daytime message board posters.

When they signed on the film was being directed by Terry George, who helmed Hotel Rwanda, and rumor had it that he would turn to his leading man from that movie for this one. Those rumors turned out to be true, and Cheadle is being courted for the project right now. George has been working to bring the budget of the film down (it’s already cost over 20 million dollars!), and once he has the script ready, an official offer will go to Cheadle.

The film is about Harlem heroin kingpin Frank Lucas, who got busted in the 70s and joined the good guys in the fight to keep illegal narcotics out of the country so that Big Tobacco and Liquor could have free reign.






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THEY WANT YEOH

scaMichelle Yeoh is a hot property in Hollywood this summer, as Mission: Impossible 3 and the Hannibal prequel are both looking to land the Asian lovely. She had been in talks with the M:I3 folks for a while, but it was while visiting the Cannes Film Festival that Yeoh was approached by the Hannibal crew.

The two projects have similar shooting schedules (wait, the Hannibal prequel isn’t going to ever get made either?), and the two productions have been in negotiations to work out a way to get the most Yeoh possible.

The role Yeoh has been offered is not the same one Gong Li was cast in – this film has room for TWO Asians! So progressive.






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SCRUBBING CHUM, ONLINE

casThe website for the Sundance hit The Chumscrubber is online, and it’s worth checking out just for its amazingly impressive cast listing. They’ve got John Heard, William Fichtner, Carrie Ann Moss, Ralph Fiennes, Glenn Close, Allison Janney, Jamie Bell, Rita Wilson and the still-shamefully -cute-to-me-even -after-I-met-her-underage-self Camilla Belle.

The movie is one of those "troubled teens in suburbia" pictures that the kids always love. The site’s just getting started – there are no games yet – but you can check out a history of The Chumscrubber cartoon, which ran on Fox Kids in an exciting alternate universe.

The Chumscrubber opens August 5th. Keep checking the site for the trailer, which should be going up any day now. In the meantime, get the cool desktops to replace that lame ass Vader one I know your nerdy ass has.

Scrub stuff on our message board!






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RON #85



All images copyright Nick Nunziata & Lewis Cox III. Do not reprint without permission.



*
Note: I’m going to include the previous strip above the current one as
to preserve some semblance of continuity in case you’d missed or
forgotten the last strip.

The CHUD.com Superstore has just opened up and there are TONS of awesome bits of RON gear and accessories. CHECK IT OUT!

Don’t
forget to send in your own RON artwork!


Send us FEEDBACK on RON.

The Official RON discussion thread.
Browse through Lt. Mike Reeves’ files.
Vote on RON!
Submit a piece of RON pin-up art!







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DANGER! NICK FROST

cwdHere’s some good news for fans of Shaun of the Dead: Nick Frost, who played Ed in that film, did a show in the UK called Danger! 50,000 Volts, and it’s finally coming to the US (Now somebody get Spaced over here. Not for me – I imported it from the UK. But for the rest of you. It’s amazing!). I am working out an interview with Nick sometime soon (my third with him – at this point I think I have to make him my firstborn’s godfather or something), and I hope to have a review of this set for you before it hits stores. In the meantime, here’s the press release – and pay special attention to the info on zombies…

Danger. She has no color, form or texture, yet she’s everywhere and she’s after your life. So what do you do when the inevitable occurs and danger comes knocking on your door? Well, you consult Nick Frost, your captain of calamity, your ranger of danger, your chauffer of chaos. He’ll be your guide on the sea of choppy waters that is the June 28th Rykodisc release of DANGER! 50,000 VOLTS!, the British TV series that combines comedy, action and, of course, full-blooded danger into one hilarious package.

Best known to U.S. audiences for his co-starring role as ‘Ed’ opposite real-life best friend Simon Pegg in Rouge Pictures’ 2004 horror/comedy smash Shaun Of The Dead and for the beloved Channel 4 series SPACED (which also starred Pegg), Nick Frost is currently one of Britain’s most in-demand comedic performers, with appearances on such U.K. favorites as Black Books (with Shaun co-star Dylan Moran) and Big Train. With DANGER! 50,000 VOLTS!, Frost is not only your host, but also your whipping boy to showcase some of the deadliest and most dangerous moments ever brought to DVD.

People often ask themselves what they would do if confronted with an incredibly dangerous situation, for instance being attacked by a bear, driving with no brakes, falling into icy waters or surviving a snake attack. Well they need wonder no more, because Nick Frost is here to show them the way. For every dangerous situation one can think of, Nick and his team of experts present a play by play on enduring the most dangerous circumstances. And he does it in 8 hilarious and action-packed episodes, all never-before-seen in the U.S. From how to deal with bat-wielding maniacs to surviving nuclear armageddon, they’re all here, all dangerous, and all uproarious.

Rykodisc’s DANGER! 50,000 VOLTS! DVD will be available in a special 2-disc edition featuring all 8 episodes of the series in 16×9-enhanced widescreen. Special features include audio commentary with Nick Frost and series producer John Reilly and a special bonus episode, DANGER! 50,000 ZOMBIES! where Frost and special guest star “Dr. Russell Fell” (who looks suspiciously like a certain co-star of Frost’s) tell you everything you need to know about surviving an attack from the living-impaired that you didn’t learn from Shaun Of The Dead.






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VIDEODROME #1

.Welcome
to Videodrome. I try not to set goals, but if I did, and if Devin won’t
sabotage me with his commie psychic ray, this should resemble a weekly column
that supports the cool stuff Dave does in the Underground by focusing on
directors and small groups of related films that Chud might otherwise miss.
Strangely enough, psychic rays are a large part of this first installment…maybe
the bearded liberal is already undermining me.

Eventually,
this will be less about reviews and more interested in pointing out all the
unbelievable stuff that’s now commonly available thanks to DVD. New is OK, but
older is great. To begin I want to go back a few years to Japan, from
1988 to 1996.


Cyberpunk’s Not Dead

The Matrix killed cyberpunk for me. Even
worse, it did the job in a way the genre would admire: by mutating it into
something that was almost recognizably ‘cyberpunk’, yet totally different.
Bigger, harder to control, and sadly much less useful. Granted, the term was
always pretty lame. William Gibson has tried his damndest to preserve a
literary notion of the genre, but for most people it’s just The
Matrix
. Mention that Rubber’s Lover is cyberpunk, and
they’re going to expect something shiny and high-minded.

To me,
cyberpunk is forever dirty, street-level sci-fi. The word ‘punk’ ain’t in there
for nothing. It’s the passion of the Sex Pistols or Bad Brains, where it’s not
enough that the people in the songs are desperate. The music, and these films,
wouldn’t work if they didn’t use that same energy to push back at the audience.

And
all-important, buried in the grit was always the question: ‘What would you do
to transform yourself?’ That question, of course, is as fitting in the
Videodrome mindset as it is in the three films I recently watched: Tetsuo
The Iron Man
, Pinocchio √964
and Rubber’s
Lover
. All of these movies are fitting tributes to the idea behind Videodrome,
so they’re a pretty good way to kick off the column.

Whenever
you’re mutating into something glistening and new, a proper foundation always
helps. So I’ll kick off with a revisitation of the landmark flick that some
love to copy ande few have actually seen…

Tetsuo The Iron Man

(1988, Japan, Shinya
Tsukamoto)

Iron Man Cover.Specifically,
there are a couple of reasons I’m beginning here. First, the two Fukui films that follow
borrow so heavily from Tetsuo that it’s pointless to
discuss them without mentioning Shinya Tsukamoto’s pioneering film. Second is
that it had been at least ten years since I’d seen the film, and it was high
time for a refresher course. Finally, I see dismissals all over the internet
written by lazy-ass commentators who proclaim it to be impenetrable trash.
Balls. Tetsuo is overbearing and off-putting, but not difficult to
follow, as long as you’re paying attention.

Tetsuo also brings in the Davids, Lynch
and Cronenberg, both of whom are acknowledged by Tsukamoto. Setting aside the
obvious ‘body horror’ component — which I’d say is symptomatic of what’s
really going on in the film — Tetsuo looks a lot like Japan’s answer to Eraserhead.
The general aesthetic, the sound design and starkly interior nature of the real
story are all a contract-print reproduction of Lynch’s debut.

The film
lives in decaying urban spaces. A man, ultimately identified in the credits as
‘metal fetishist’, cuts a large slit in his leg, into which he slides a long,
threaded rod of metal. Images of famous runners adorn his workspace, which make
his transformative desires pretty clear: could this process bestow a new speed
and power? It’s just as obvious that something has gone wrong when the photos
all erupt in flashes of fire. In case it’s not obvious enough, however, we see the wound
crawling with maggots desperate to consume the decaying flesh.

The bolt, we discover, was infected with rust. Try to stop that pernicious orange virus. Staggering into the street, the
fetishist is struck by a car. The salaryman behind the wheel, terrified by the
consequences of his action, drags the wounded man off to the woods, where the
victim slips from consciousness as the salaryman and his girlfriend work out
their desires for hot tree sex. You’ve got to wonder how much free will the
driver really had, since his car seems to have tattooed ‘New World’ on it’s
metal grille.

And
that’s where everything breaks.

Back
home, the salaryman is infected by a sliver of metal from his shaver, a
stainless steel injection. The metal which took over the fetishist, that urban
spirit, now begins to control the salaryman as well. He quickly undergoes one
metamorphosis after the other, quickly outpacing The Guyver in the ‘most
uncomfortable costume’ race. On the other side of town, the fetishist lives,
and he races to face the salaryman in a lustful battle royale. The scorecard
says: unclean infection versus pristine transformation. It’s better than When
Godzilla Attacks!

But like
I said, the method of transformation is only indicative of the underlying idea.
Sure, it’s important that it’s metal; how better for the urban landscape to
rape mankind? Only concrete would be more effective, but it’s so inflexible.

The real
battle is between the willingly transformed (fetishist) and unwilling
(salaryman). It’s tragic in a way, because the fetishist desperately wants to
become something else, but he’s blown it. His adversary, on the other hand, has
an almost unhealthy lust for human life (and tree sex) and fights the
inevitable with all his will. Their battle is a half-hour chase scene through
the back streets of Tokyo.
Finally, there’s a sort of compromise that promises the metal that ‘new world’
it so desires.

(Miike
did his own transformation of this ending for Dead Or Alive: Final.
Shinya Tsukamoto himself appears in Ichi and DOA 2: Birds.)

It’s easy
to just get caught up in the spectacle of the conflict. Tsukamoto barrages us
with images that are sickly and revolting — rotting flesh, the penis drill,
strap-on tentacles — but he does it in a way that’s impossible to look away
from. It’s hyper-kinetic stop motion swirled through the lens in high contrast
black and white. He almost hyperventilates this film (it runs a mere 67
minutes) and even the flashbacks, which imply that the metal’s memory is
television, offer a tense but swift fascination.

Chu
Ishikawa bangs out an aural equivalent to the harsh landscape, channeling
Einsturzende Neubauten and Big Black into a set of songs that become the
movie’s mechanical pulse. But then he drops into a ’50’s milkshake dance number
whenever the film’s automobile hero hits the stage, equating the love and
enmity for metal with a crazy Norman Rockwell puppy love.

In the
years after Tetsuo, the film’s content was echoed in legions of followers.
Some were obvious (the Raimi-esque follow-up Tetsuo II: Body Hammer)
while others essentially returned Tsukamoto’s affections — take another look
at James Spader riding Roseanna Arquette’s leg in Crash.

But more
immediately in the film’s wake was a kinetic pair of films from Shozin Fukui,
and they’re up next.

(Tetsuo
is tragically out of print in the states, though DiabolikDVD.com
and other importers carry a legit Region2 PAL disc.)

Pinocchio √964

(1991,
Japan, Shozin Fukui)

964 Cover.Fast
forward three years. While Tsukamoto was making Tetsuo, Shozin Fukui was
cutting his teeth shooting documentaries and musical performances. He was also
nurturing ideas for a film that could explore a different kind of
transformation: the evolution of the mind through the pressure of physical
pain. He evidently took the structure and style of Tetsuo as a mandate,
because this story of a displaced sex android is like that film’s awkward
younger brother.

Pinocchio
(who I’ll just call 964 from now on) is the android in question, an object cast
onto the street by an unsatisfied client. Built (or grown) solely to pleasure
others, 964 has no memory and no sense of the outside world. Wandering the
city, he meets Himiko, herself an amnesiac who seems to recognize something
about the poor guy, and quickly befriends him. As 964’s creator sends out a
search party, the robot and Himiko ultimately get down in ways only a sex robot
and amnesiac girl can.

And
that’s where everything breaks.

The
android’s creator says that the only way to free people is with a big jolt of
sex, and that’s exactly what happens. After a little lovin’, 964 is wracked by
incredible pain, which seems to be the result of his sudden understanding of
his own condition. He’s no longer a walking vibrator, but a shell of a man,
horribly aware of his backwards evolutionary step.

Whether
through the sex or 964’s subsequent power, Himiko is also unhinged, and
violently so. She’s been repressing memories of her own, which imply some role
in 964’s creation. And once the flood gates open, there’s no closing them.

Himiko
staggers through the subway, vomiting profusely. I might suggest to an
Alzheimer’s research panel that excessive vomiting, followed by rolling in the
result and, er, eating it, might help with memory loss…but then again that’s
probably not a good idea. Just try to tell Himiko that.

But as in
Tetsuo,
the fluids and kinetic movement are flashy ways of making a point. Trouble is, Fukui isn’t all that
clear about his intent. Rather than following the ‘pain to power’ thesis, he
establishes 964 and Himiko as a massively dysfunctional couple. First she helps
create him through a sickeningly violent process, then turns him into her own
slave, alternately caring and dispensing abuse. There is a final bizarre
physical transformation, but it’s a manifestation of that relationship, rather
than of a pure will to power fantasy.

Fukui tries to use the same stylistic
camera and narrative style that worked so well for Tsukamoto, but simply
doesn’t have the skill to pull it off. That really limits the film, and the
experimental narrative sags. His camera moves excessively to hide a limited
budget, and Fukui
only occasionally shoehorns meaning into the jarring movement.

Even with
those issues, there’s one overriding flaw that keeps Pinocchio from being as
unsettling and effective as Tetsuo: it’s too damn long. Fukui imitates the mad dashes through Tokyo that worked so well for his
inspiration, but he indulges himself both at greater length and slower pace. At
almost 100 minutes this is too long by half an hour.

There are
some really fun and intriguing ideas here, though. Before Bishop was revealed
as the creator of his own line of androids, 964’s morally dubious creator seems
to be making sex dolls in his own image. And I’m really interested in the
intersection of violence and memory, and how the result affects one’s ability
to relate to anyone else. That’s a huge part of the subtext here, but it almost
seems to be unintentional, making it almost too ‘sub’ to work.

There’s
also some fun humor — I love Himiko taunting the android’s pursuers, as well
as the final sequence when 964 takes hold of his own power. I certainly
wouldn’t blame anyone for completely missing Pinocchio‘s point,
however, which is just a forthright way of establishing my own critical escape
route when it’s revealed that this is actually a Heimlich Maneuver
instructional film. If you want vomit, you got it.

(Buy
it here from Amazon
.)

Rubber’s Lover

(1996,
Japan, Shozin Fukui)

Rubber's Cover.In
response, this film is for anyone who thought Pinocchio √964 was good
in theory, but too long, too scattered, or simply too thin. Fukui’s back on the
‘psychic power through physical pain’ trip, but he articulates it with far more
skill. Here his images are even more reminiscent of Tetsuo and Videodrome,
but this also feels more like a whole film, rather than an idea stretched too
far.

A trio of
scientists have been working for one of those classic shadowy organizations,
performing experiments to unlock the secrets of the mind. (Cue theremin,
please.) Shimika is the loner, and he thinks the drug ether is the key. The
remaining pair, Motomiya and Hitotsubashi, have been experimenting with a device
called the Digital Direct Drive, which bombards a subject with aural and visual
stimuli, essentially torturing the poor bastard until (a) he unleashes a wave
of psychic energy or (b) his head explodes. Option A doesn’t seem to happen
very often. In fact, neither technique
has a survival rate above .000.

And time
is running out for all three. Their corporate master sends a sexy lackey,
Akari, over to terminate their funding. Not such a good idea, since Motomiya
has been behaving erratically, and Shimika is addicted to ether, perhaps on his
way to becoming his own successful guinea pig. The lackey arrives as Motomiya
has decided to take matters, and the fate of Shimika, into his own hands.

And
that’s where (all together now) everything breaks.

Pumped
full of ether, wrapped in rubber (which provokes shock by depriving the body of
oxygen) and bombarded with evidence of his own violent past, Shimika
essentially becomes a scanner. The ether overload channels the power outward —
without the drug, the waves roll around in the skull and his head threatens to
go the way of so many others before it. The ‘power through pain’ concept
finally comes to a real fruition, and Shimika becomes the only one in all three
of these films to really achieve some sort of real evolution, even if the
effect is ultimately short-lived.

Whatever
experience Fukui gained between Pinocchio and this film was
invaluable, because he’s far more in control of the camera. The grainy black
and white creates scenes with a ridiculously uncomfortable atmosphere, and the
effects are more cleverly shot. And where his last film had screaming maniacs
instead of characters, here Fukui creates some immediately recognizable
personalities, most of which he uses well. I was scared for, and of, Shimika,
and even enticed by the oppressive eroticism between Akari and the scientists
female assistant.

This
isn’t a real finale for the cyberpunk barrage that began with Tetsuo,
but it is an effective summation. The technology on hand is essentially common,
and the scenes of bombardment by the Direct Digital Drive are powerful even
though the basic image of a guy with his head stuck in a TV has become debased
currency. Fukui belives in it, and that’s what makes this film work, and in
fact what makes the whole genre. There’s no irony here, but an inkling that we
might be relying on the wrong things, and fascination mixed with a genuine
terror of the consequences.

Finally,
one constant in all three films is that, during the process of transformation,
violence is not only done to the characters, but perpetrated by them as well.
It’s a bleak and horrifying worldview. That’s where a lot of the desperation
comes in — I don’t know if it’s a perversion or ratification of the punk ethos
— since the final effect can only be realized by savaging those around you. If
that’s the case, maybe it was inevitable that a cyberpunk savior like Neo would
show up to make us all feel better. Or not.

(Buy
Rubber’s
Lover
here from Amazon
. Considering the 16mm source, Unearthed
Films has done a great job with both of these Fukui films, each of which looks
and sounds as good as can be expected from such cyberpunk curios. Special
mention has to go to the menu design, which I really enjoyed.)

Thanks
for checking out the first column. As always, if you’ve got comments (derisive
or supportive) shoot ’em over to russ @ theporkstore.org. I check facts pretty
thoroughly, but with foreign films and smaller stuff misinformation abounds. So
if you notice any small inaccuracy or outright lies, please let me know. If
there are pairs or trios of films, mini-movements or specific filmmakers that
Chud really needs to stroke, make yourself heard. Future installments will
feature more festival coverage, express love for a couple of my favorite
character actors (Warren Oates and Don McKellar) and I’ll hit the output of
filmmakers like Lars von Trier, Yasujiro Ozu and, when I’m feeling mighty and
capable, Luis Bunuel. That might take a couple of installments.

Generally,
I’ll keep the content limited to movies that are in print in North America on
DVD, though at times I’ll have to range further abroad or even (gasp!)
encourage some VHS rentals.

Next week
will be dedicated to Wong Kar-Wai’s pair of Hong Kong love stories, 2046 and
In
The Mood For Love
.
After that will be a Chud exclusive look at the DVD
restoration of the oddball animated film Rock And Rule. I went to Boston last
month to check out the process and can’t wait to talk about it.

Discuss this column right here on our message boards.






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TELEVISION HAPPENINGS UNDER DEVELOPMENT

casI approach my THUD duties with the best of intentions. I would like to have this column to you more often, but the honest truth is that it takes me multiple hours to put one of these together, and I don’t always have a solid block of time to give to the endeavour (thus the sporadic THUD Newsbreaks, keeping you informed between columns).

At any rate here’s the latest column, and once again I am looking for your feedback. Check out the first news item – the call for your thoughts and submissions is at the end. The very next THUD column is depending on you!

Without further ado let’s get to the snark…

cas

IT HAS LOST ALL ITS COOL

This year I could strike up a conversation with random people – some of them attractive women! – about ABC’s Lost and not be stigmatized. While the show has a high geek factor, it also appeals to a mainstream audience, which is why it’s so successful.

Creation Entertainment is looking to put a stop to that ASAP. They’re teaming up with ABC to make the first Official Lost Fan Club, and they already have a Lost convention set for June. And did you know that if you’re a fan of Lost you’re a Lostie? Fuck you, Creation.

vfYou can join the club at www.lostfanclub.com, where you can also buy grotesquely overpriced garbage that you’ll be able to pick up for 1/8 the price at a yard sale in three years. Five more Lost conventions are planned for the year to come.

For ABC this makes sense, because there’s just no way that the show can retain a hold on the popular imagination forever. Say what you like about the viewing habits of mainstream folks but they’ll stop watching this show in maybe season 3 when it’s run its course. People like you and me, though – we’ll be around for the soul crushing finale, buy all the seasons on DVD and maybe even start a petition to have the show brought back on the SciFi Channel. So we’re the people ABC wants to claim immediately, to ensure a level of profitability for a maximum amount of time.

In other Lost news, we’re heading to the finale. Before the last episode of Lost I want to run a column on just your thoughts about the show; your take on the state of the island.

Send me your comments and thoughts to devin@chud.com with LOST in the subject line.

cas

I’M IN SOUTH AFRICA, BITCH!

The Dave Chappelle story continues to grow. The funniest man on television previously shut down production on the third season of his Comedy Channel show and disappeared. Speculation as to what the heck happened to Chappelle ran rampant – he was on a Rick James style crack binge, he was flying randomly around the country, he had flown to South Africa and locked himself in a mental institution.

It turns out the last part was at least partially true – Chappelle is in South Africa, but he says he was never in an institution. According to an interview with Time Magazine, which hit their website this morning, Chappelle is just chilling in South Africa with a friend of the family, getting some time to think.

"Let me tell you the things I can do here which I can’t at home: think, eat, sleep, laugh. I’m an introspective dude. I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking here."

Chappelle says that his retreat is because of the 50 million dollar payday and the way it changed not him but his closest friends. "If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself," he says. "Everyone around me says, ‘You’re a genius!’; ‘You’re great!’; ‘That’s your voice!’ But I’m not sure that they’re right.

"You got to be careful of the company you keep," Chappelle says. "It’s hard to know how much to say. One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain vfvfamount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.

"During my ascent, I’ve seen other people go through that wall to become really big. They always said that fame didn’t change them but that it changes the people around them. You always hear that but you never really understand it. But now that I’m there that makes a lot of sense and I’m learning what that means. You have to have people around you that you can trust and aren’t just out for a meal ticket."

He goes on some more to talk about his search for integrity, and spends some really troubling time talking about his religion. In the end he doesn’t say when he’s coming back, if he even is. And he doesn’t say what the status of his show will be, although he makes a joke about seeing whether he has a job.

I can’t imagine that he doesn’t have a job. Comedy Channel must be torn about all this – on the one hand they desperately want a new season of Chappelle, but on the other the publicity is incredible, and Season 2 is coming to DVD soon. Still, the real question is whether this guy is going to be funny again.

Frankly, there just isn’t much less funny than a very religious person, and Chappelle is in South Africa visiting a religious friend. Is this some sort of deepening of his new Islamic faith? If he had converted to Judaism I would be psyched – those Jews are funny. But your average Islamic dude has the reputation of being about as funny as a Southern Baptist, except you can comfortably laugh at Southern Baptists.

This interview is going to convince a lot of people that Chappelle is doing OK. And maybe that’s what it shows; maybe in 2005 you don’t lie about your big problems to the press. But I’m definitely old enough to remember a time before the confessional style of celebrity, and it’s easy to imagine Chappelle subscribing to that form of celebrity. Only time will tell.

cas

WILL AND TROUSERSNAKE

vfJustin Timberlake is continuing his burgeoning acting career with a guest stint on what will probably be the final season of NBC’s Will and Grace. The former member of N’Sync and current holder of the sobriquet “The Trousersnake” will be playing gay – he’s going to be Jack’s bad boyfriend. Of course I know some people who tell me he wouldn’t be playing gay, but these are the same people who tell me that every single human being who has ever appeared in a movie or on television is homosexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Timberlake’s guest spot will be three episodes long. Will and Grace is a weird show in that all of it’s ratings come from the coasts – New York and LA make up the audience for the show, as the rest of the nation seems to hate faggots. Yet they have no problem with Jim Belushi.

cas

THE LIBERAL MEDIA STRIKES AGAIN!

Hey, remember when Dennis Miller was funny? It was a long time ago, young ones, and he was once a reigning king of snark and reference (he was sort of a spiritual godfather to the humor of Nick Nunziata, I would say, but I don’t know if Nick would agree), but now as David Cross so eloquently put it, he’s like President Bush’s court jester.

I guess this all happened some time post 9/11, because Miller was fairly lefty before – lefty enough to invite disaster by naming his kid Holden. But now Miller’s pretty much the yapping dog of Bush supporters, unfunnily rooting for more death and mayhem in the Middle East and completely losing all sense of reason as he backs the most hideous righties in every single issue they have. Of course what’s amazing is how the right will continue to bitch and moan  sdwhen Tim Robbins says something political – who wants to hear the politics of some stupid actor! – but they back the Millers and Schwarzeneggers of the world.

They’re going to have to support Miller on their own dime now – maybe he can get a slot on Fox News. CNBC, the latest channel to give his garbage a shot, is canceling him. The channel wants to replace Miller with more money talk, the godless liberals that they are.

The truth of the matter is that no one wants to watch this guy. It would be one thing if he remained funny after turning to the dark side of extreme conservatism, but he just hasn’t. It’s sort of a corollary to what I talked about with Chappelle above – you just can’t be funny if you’re bowing down to some kind of authority.

cas

TRIAL BY JURY GETS THE DEATH PENALTY

Bad news for those hoping to see Law & Order take over NBC’s schedule like some kind of fungus – sources in NBC are saying that the network’s upfront presentation tomorrow, where they announce their fall line-up, will reveal that the newest show, Trial by Jury, is cancelled.

Which is a pity because I think I genuinely like Trial by Jury the best of all the shows. It seems to be stuck in an awful time slot, though – Friday at 10 – and it may be just a little 888more complex than people were expecting. But it’s that complexity that I love; while I like the formulaic aspects of the other L&O shows, there’s something about the wheeling and dealing behind the scenes of a trial that I just think is cool. It’s also possible that this show was portraying law enforcement and the justice system a little less black and white than the other L&O shows.

I hope they give the show a shot in a new time slot. It wouldn’t be the first L&O to run into trouble with ratings – Special Victims Unit had some shaky years before powering up to be the most popular of the four current series. Trial by Jury has the possibility to bring in a very different audience to the franchise, if given a shot.

Other shows waiting anxiously for tomorrow’s upfront are The Office and American Dreams. We’ll let you know the scoop as soon as we get it.

cas

FAT ACTRESS

So Ben Affleck’s little guys can swim – good for him. But what does Jennifer Garner’s impending pregnancy mean for this little TV show she is on called Alias? Creator JJ Abrams spoke to Access Hollywood about it a little bit.

"It will affect (shooting)," said Abrams. "But I think we have overcome a lot of other issues vfeand things. I think the show will be a little bit different because of it, but Jennifer is so excited about everything right now…"

How different, JJ? "I think every Alias (she plays) will just be a pregnant person. (laughs)"

It’s pretty amazing that her contract doesn’t have some sort of clause built in saying that she can’t get knocked up. I mean, it’s an action show, so it isn’t like they can hide her tummy behind a couch or something every episode.

Fans of Alias have been complaining that the last season was very weak. Who knows, maybe something like this pregnancy will light a fire under the creators’ asses and they’ll do something daring and original. They’ll probably just put Alias in a coma or something, though.

cas

GOOD NIGHT GREENLIGHT

How weird is it that the third season of Project Greenlight, which started out looking like the biggest train wreck ever, was not only the best season to date but also the most inspiring and heartwarming? Who didn’t love seeing that schlubby Gulager rise above and prove Matty Damon right by making what looks like a pretty good movie? This was the Greenlight story America wanted, not the painful crash and burns of the last two seasons (America’s secret shame is that while we like to watch people flame out and break down crying when Donald Trump fires them, we really like it even better when they overcome terrible odds and evil black women to win).

The terrible irony is that this is probably the end of Project Greenlight. "Last night was probably the last new episode of Project Greenlight ever," giant madman Chris Moore writes in his blog at Bravotv.com.

"I am sorry to be reporting this here, but anyone reading this blog is a devoted and loyal Project Greenlight fan. You have been loyal and vocal and true fans of what we have tried to do, so I want you all to know the truth first."

vsaTo make matters worse, Moore has left LivePlanet, the production company behind Greenlight, to start his own company.

Part of what has killed Greenlight is that the show’s rating plummeted as the season went on. Also hurting was the Miramax/Disney divorce – the newly formed WeinsteinCo will be less likely to take big risky chances on dudes who win internet contests without the Mouse House’s coffers backing them up.

At least the show went out with a bang. And maybe with a movie worth seeing. We’ll know about that come December, when Feast should be released.

cas

TAKE DOWN THE BIG TOP

Sad news for fans of HBO’s impenetrable and boring Carnivale – it’s all over. The show, which seemed to have as its mission statement avoiding the forward motion of plot as much as possible, made it two seasons before the network yanked it.

I’m interested in how HBO makes decisions like this. They don’t really care about ratings, since they are a pay network and have no advertising. As long as they don’t think people are quitting the channel you almost have to assume they don’t care. Unless, of course, the s bigwigs think that the show is a ponderous waste of effort for both creators and fans, filled with faux imagery and meaning solely to trick people into thinking that something is going on.

Is it possible that DVD sales play a part in this decision? Did the first season just not sell well, indicating to them that no one cared about the show? At any rate my understanding is that the program didn’t wrap up all their loose ends, so expect an avalanche of fans trying to bring this one back from the dead.

cas

AND THAT CONCLUDES OUR BROADCAST DAY

Don’t forget to send me your thoughts, complaints, guesses and erotic slashfic for Lost so I can lazily build my next column directly from your hard work. And send me email in general (devin@chud.com) – I need to get a letter column running here again, and I am thinking of copying Nicky Nunziata and running some of the fairly amazing mail (sort of all hate) that I get in a column I am thinking of calling Shout at the Devil.

Discuss this in the official THUD thread on our message board!






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DVD REVIEW: MIRACLES

lkjlkjjlkjlkjlBUY IT AT AMAZON: CLICK HERE!
STUDIO: Shout Factory
MSRP: $49.99 RATED: TV-14
RUNNING TIME: 10 hrs
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Available Audio Tracks: English (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo)
• 13 episodes, including seven that never aired in the U.S.
• Selected episode commentaries
• Deleted scenes with optional introductions
• Interview with creator Richard Hatem

How would we think of The X-Files if it had been cancelled less than halfway through the first season? There were some truly great episodes in the front nine or ten, but it really wasn’t until season two that the show found its stride (and if you ask me, it really cemented it’s place in TV history as a classic with the season 2 finale).

That question was one that was going through my mind as I watched Miracles, the supernatural TV show that ran on ABC for a scant nine episodes. The show is now out on DVD in a box set that includes episodes that never aired. It didn’t take me long to realize that this show could have been another X-Files – in more ways than one.

The Show

.,mn
AKA, the day it rained "milk."

It’s sort of fitting that Skeet Ulrich would star in a TV show that’s essentially a clone of The X-Files, since he’s essentially a clone of Johnny Depp. Ulrich was not someone whose presence I thought of as “good” in a project until I saw Miracles – he’s the brightest spot in the show.

Ulrich plays Paul Callan, a man who investigates miracles for the Roman Catholic Church. He grows disillusioned, though, when every incident he investigates turns out to be explainable. At the end of his faith, Paul is sent to investigate the case of a young boy who seems able to heal people. Many strange events occur and finally Paul ends up getting hit by a train (it’s a long story) and as he lays there dying, the kid heals him. Paul sees, spelled in his own blood on a shard of windshield, the message “God is now here.”

When Paul reports back to his superior (the great Hector Elizondo, who ends up as a semi-regular) he is shocked to find out two things – no one ever sent him on this case and the Church doesn’t believe him. In a huff he quits and is quickly recruited by the mysterious Alva Keel, who runs a group called Sodalites Quaerito, which sounds like a meal you order at Taco Bell. Keel tells Paul something very strange – many other people have had similar visions of a similar phrase written in blood… but to them it read “God is nowhere.”

/.,m/.
"It’s a lung, right? Wait, I’ll get this. It’s a kidney?"

That’s basically the pilot episode of Miracles and it’s ace. What a great premise – the “God is now here” vs “God is nowhere” thing really got me excited. Plus the pilot was stylish, filled with hallucinatory imagery and bizarre dream sequences, and with a strong performance by Ulrich as the weary Paul. Unfortunately, the rest of the series wouldn’t live up to that standard (except for Ulrich, who is excellent).

The second episode introduces us to the inner workings of Sodacrackers Quesada, which is really just Keel (played by Angus McFadyen with differing degrees of buffoonery over the course of the series – the character is introduced as dark and angry, but that characterization never sticks) and the very beautiful but endlessly extraneous Evelyn (played by soap star Marisa Ramirez), a former cop and I suppose the muscle of the operation.

It turns out that Miracles is far more secular than the pilot would have you believe. Keel is interested in everything from ghost lights to… well, other kinds of ghosts. The episodes that were made lean heavily to the “talking to the dead” side of things, but we do see that Keel follows things like Bigfoot and UFOs as well, making him much more a Fox Mulder type.

.n
Pope John Paul’s diaries held some surprises.

The big difference between Miracles and The X-Files is that this show has no skeptic, although one of the main elements of the storyline is that Paul is slowly examining his own faith in God, so he sometimes takes the Scully role. And that Miracles sometimes has three characters (although Evelyn is so often left behind during investigations that she feels like a guest star).

Which is too bad – the basic premise of the show, as outlined in the pilot, is great. Something more religiously oriented would have been fresh and interesting. But of course this brings me back to my question in the prologue of this review. What would we think of The X-Files if it had been cancelled nine episodes in, like Miracles? Tragically bad episodes like Ghost in the Machine and Space (one of the worst hours of television EVER) would be among the few episodes we could judge the series by. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to think that Miracles, which had signs of promise and a strong writing staff (including David Greenwalt), could have gone places.

cas
"How many times do I have to tell you not to hang around the playground, Ulrich? First of all, this is real life. Not Finding Neverland."

But this is a review of the episodes that exist. There are some that are pretty classic – the pilot, The Ferguson Syndrome, is fantastic. The second episode, The Friendly Skies, is not just a rehashing of a legend or a true Fortean incident but actually something new and interesting and possibly feature worthy – a plane disappears for a few seconds and every passenger gets their wish, with attendant consequences. Hand of God introduces an intriguing running storyline that never gets a chance to pay off – is Paul working on the side of God, as he thinks, or something else? The Letter offers a neat examination of the death penalty in a new way. And The Battle of Shadow Ridge is a hit or miss episode (with more hits) about mysterious Civil War apparitions that turn out to be more than ghosts.

lkjh
"Devin, you are such a fag0rt your revue of star wars shows that you suck! lol. please enter me in teh Fishburne contest."

The clunkers, though, hurt. You Are My Sunshine and The Bone Scatterer are both bad, generic filler episodes. And The Patient, about a demon possessing a comatose guy, is one of the more painfully bad things I have ever had to watch.

Still, the good episodes outweigh the bad. The real test of a season set like this is how fast I watch it, and I ripped through the Miracles box in about two days. Fans of The X-Files and the paranormal will find lots to like here, and you may end up like me, wishing ABC had given the show more of a chance to grow into something great.

8.5 out of 10

The Look

pho
"I hate meeting here. I just want some Vietnamese food!"

Miracles is presented in full screen. The picture tends to be quite good, with solemnly muted colors and deep blacks, but in some scenes the picture takes on a distractingly grainy quality. My impression is that this is an issue with the original photography.

8.4 out of 10


Once a month Skeet got his Depp DNA touched up.


The Noise

This set boasts a 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround track, but I have to say that it never wowed me. The audio just doesn’t seem like it was originally mixed for such depth, and most of the action occurs in the front speakers – with plenty of center speaker use. The sound is rich, though, never getting tinny or thin as so many other TV on DVD releases have been.

8.7 out of 10

The Goodies

For a series that didn’t even make it through its first episode order, Miracles on DVD has an impressive set of extras. It’s not on the level of Freaks and Geeks (also from Shout Factory), but it’s better than The X-Files or Buffy. There are six commentaries, with creator Richard Hatem and various guests, including writers and directors. That’s about half of the episodes. The commentaries are far from revelatory, and Hatem seems to hold little to no ill-will for the show’s cancellation, although he obviously regrets it.

There are also a set of 5 deleted scenes, attached to the episodes from which they were cut. It’s mostly stuff cut for run time, so it’s never all that amazing. Each clip is introduced by Richard Hatem.


And speaking of Hatem (with a name like that he should be fronting a death metal band), there’s also a half hour interview with him, where he covers the history of the show and what happened to it. Much of the material will be familiar if you’ve listened to the commentaries first, but there’s some good stuff here.

9.0 out of 10


Claire had a nice day at the fair, but the face painting table had really been half-assed.

The Artwork

Miracles comes in a very nice box with an appropriately moody slip case cover featuring the three main characters. “God is how here” and “God is nowhere” alternate across it. Inside the slip case is an easy to manage folding package, with each disc clearly labeled with episode titles – what a joy. All too often you just get episode (or even just disc) numbers and you don’t know which episode is which. The titles help you jump right to the ones you like.


9.5 out of 10

Overall: 8.9 out of 10






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REVIEW: STAR WARS – REVENGE OF THE SITH (RUSS’S TAKE)

Nick’s ReviewDevin’s ReviewSteve’s ReviewRuss’s Review


.I’ll open with the lowdown. That way, those looking for a simple declaration to confirm or
absolve their expectations can either read further or move on to a more
compatible review.

So: Revenge
of the Sith
is at best a mediocre movie. Episode I was a preamble
disguised as a film; its successor was space opera at its worst, making this
by default the highlight of the second trilogy. But removed from the Star
Wars context, Sith is just another big, blustery action movie. Sometimes
entertaining, frequently trying, and often forgettable.

Still with me?

Lucas seems to get a
pass on most of the criteria used to judge other filmmakers, so the statement above
may not matter. There are two checklists, one for fans and another for everyone
else. The fan list is pretty short: death of the Jedi, Obi Wan fights Anakin,
Anakin becomes Vader.

If those are your
only criteria for a satisfying big screen conclusion to Star Wars, then little
else comes into play. In such a situation, most fans will be happy to know those scenes contain some of the most emotional work that Lucas has committed
to film. That no sequence in that list passes without a blemish won’t matter.

I won’t judge fans
who’ve stuck with me for bailing out now. With that sorted, what follows is for
‘everyone else’.

Revenge of the Sith begins with a bang. Amid the chaos of an enormous space battle,
Obi Wan and Anakin race to save Chancellor Palpatine, who has been ‘kidnapped’ by
the wildly forgettable villain Count Dooku and newcomer General Grievous. This sequence
is clearly meant to reflect and one-up the massive clash that paced much of Return
of the Jedi
. Palpatine even sits in a large chair overlooking the
battle, much as he did in the climax of the first trilogy.

It doesn’t work this
time. The screen is crammed with every conceivable manner of ship, explosion
and projectile to the point where chaos reigns. Only one detail stuck with me:
that the Jedi were flying prototype T.I.E. fighters. The point could be made
that we’re witnessing the last stand of the Republic, and that opening with
such a spectacle is courageous. In reality, I didn’t really know what I was
observing, as it’s difficult to watch the digital details blur by.

.

This first-act flub
highlights the chief dilemma of George Lucas, and lays bare his vain solution.
The dilemma: how to breathe life into a story outline that viewers are
passively — and perhaps intimately — familiar with? The vain solution: mirror
past successes, only bigger. Supposedly, the series grew from adventure serials
and world mythologies, with added touches from popular cinema. Now, the only recognizable
influence is Star Wars.

And so the same
dialogue springs up (‘…From a certain point of view’) and goofy droid comedy
intrudes, even upon the most serious of events. We visit the Wookie planet
because Lucas needs a place to hide Yoda and he’d wanted to go there since Return
of the Jedi
anyway. Chewbacca is included merely because he’s always
been well-liked. Never mind that his presence is nonsensical if the films are
viewed in sequential order.

(Even the movie’s title works best only when
remembering it’s a play on Revenge of the Jedi, a ‘fake’ title for the third film. ‘Wrath of the Sith’ would have been much better, but then Lucas would be in Star Trek territory. The irony is that The Wrath of Khan‘s original title was changed to avoid confusion with Lucas’s picture.)

Mini-villains have
worked before, and even been wildly popular: Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett. Their
replacements are Dooku and the tubercular droid General Grievous, who occupies
Obi Wan Kenobi while the plot unfolds. Never mind that ‘Jabba the Hutt’ has a
certain ring to it, while ‘Grievous’ makes only a hollow ping. The character could
be an interesting Vader duality, but this script is not up to the task, and he
dies a nobody.

Perhaps ‘dies’ should be ‘is erased’. Grievous, of course, is a fully digital creation. From a
purely technical perspective, he’s probably impressive. But I’m realizing how
few ‘real’ actors appear in Revenge of the Sith. Sure, Ewan
McGregor is around to do his uncanny impersonation of Alec Guinness. He
actually looks at ease now, making him one of an elite few. Thanks to McGregor,
Obi-Wan makes a seamless transition from prequels to the classic trilogy. Samuel
L. Jackson looks distinctly less comfortable, perhaps because he foresees being
dispatched in a lame ambush.

But eliminate anyone
who could be replaced by a digital actor, and this is a thin cast. Jimmy Smits.
Christopher Lee. Temuera Morrison floats in some limbo between real and
digital, as his head is unceremoniously pasted on a multitude of clone troopers
to poor effect. Call me old-fashioned, but real actors often bring real life.
That’s a force which is ironically in short supply here.

I could go on, but
the point is made. In far too many scenes, Sith feels like product made by
someone who knows what Star Wars looks and sounds like, but
not how it feels. And the hackneyed bits stand out even more because, here and
there, the film really gets something right.

Most of the good
bits are in the extended second act, in which our hero, Anakin, becomes our
villain, Darth Vader. Dish out plenty of credit to Ian McDiarmid, who once
again appears as Palpatine. His voice and performance breathe life into several
potentially dull speeches intended to wean Anakin off the light side of the
force. McDiarmid is often quietly marvelous as the Chancellor whispers and
taunts and cajoles his unwitting apprentice into believing the Jedi are
manipulating him.

.

In the one chance
Lucas takes with this script, they may be doing just that. Star Wars has always featured
a totally polarized morality, but here we sense doubt, a grey area. We believe the Republic could really be in danger. As the Jedi
Council comes to a dire understanding about their role in the Separatist
conflict, Palpatine’s words sound frighteningly persuasive. This is the tension
point we’ve been waiting for, when the fate of everything hinges on
a few words. For an excruciatingly brief time, it all clicks into place.

This is the heart of
the movie, but it should be its mind and body, too. Alas, interspersed are more
love scenes of the ilk which plagued Attack of the Clones. Because the
ineptly scripted ‘forbidden love’ between Anakin and Padme is what pushes him
away from the Jedi order, the script dawdles in their inconsequential moments
of pathos. Having learned nothing from the last film, Lucas makes the same
mistake twice, and the energy disperses.

There’s not even
much that his actors could have done to change things. While the same submerged
energy which made Hayden Christiansen believable in Shattered Glass works to
his benefit, he’s busy being being irritated to project Vader’s air of
menace. With Palpatine exerting influence on him, Anakin is pushed more
than he falls. Perhaps because of that, Christiansen is simply out on the wrong
limb when trying to articulate Anakin’s rage. Even once he goes into evil
motion, Christiansen seems to be led, rather than driven. His most devilish
moments occur with Padme, though they’re not necessarily his best. Natalie
Portman, on the other hand, often seems to have just accepted things as they
are.

Whether that’s
George’s direction or Portman’s refuge from it is hard to tell. Regardless, we witness the former queen of Naboo become little more than a fretful
hausfrau. In a series not known for female characters, Padme sinks
to horrendous depths. Aside from relying upon her to tell the
audience to worry, Lucas has very little use for Padme right up until
the end. Even her pregnancy befuddles him. In a film created with tremendous
digital sets, he can’t seem to give poor Padme a consistent belly size.

Scattered among the
minor success of the Palpatine/Anakin scenes are more recycled leftovers,
including that visit to Kashyyk, the Wookie planet, and Obi-Wan’s insipid chase
and battle with Grievous. All seem like mere spacers to force narrative points
to fall in order. I enjoyed watching Ewan McGregor’s performance more and more,
so I couldn’t understand using the character as little better than a script
supervisor’s stopwatch. It was disappointing to watch Lucas stretch himself
with Palpatine, then punch the auto-pilot as he cut back to the other
storylines.

Perhaps the best
thing that can be said for Revenge of the Sith is that, for the
first time since Empire, Lucas is reaching for new storytelling skills. The
emotional and logistical complications of this chapter are beyond his grasp, so
the effort only vaguely succeeds. But you can feel him trying to make something
better, more resonant.

What he doesn’t manage is to employ nuance. Delicate detail is exactly the thing George Lucas cannot do. This
isn’t meant as a strict comparison, but it’s like Hamlet. Future generations will always know how the story ends, so
what happens is only as important as how you play it. If only his efforts had
come earlier.

As is, even his
successes are destabilized by the impulse to mirror the past. When Palpatine is
truly unmasked as a dark Sith lord, McDiarmid abruptly becomes a caricature of
the original trilogy’s Emperor. The small glances and fine detail of the
Chancellor disappear into overblown villainy. No attempt is made to explore the
gradation between human politician and twisted master of evil.

.

Without the benefit
of fine emotional detail, the most highly touted setpieces in the film are big,
but not very powerful. The purging of the Jedi is told largely through
insinuation, though a pair of shots communicates the depth of Anakin’s crime.
The look in Padme’s eyes told me more about what occurred than did anything
which directly depicted the death of a Jedi. And in our brief time with him,
Frank Oz and a fully digital Yoda bring a sadness which the film desperately
needs.

Finally, after so
many years, we come to The Duel. Ever since Lucas described this conflict to
some sci-fi mag almost thirty years ago, we’ve known that the showdown between
Anakin and his master would occur near or in lava. For those reading
between the lines, that’s — let’s be conservative — twenty-five years to
write this climax.

So why does it feel
like the Genosian action sequence from Clones revisited? For all the
obvious effort which went into this duel — not to mention the others in the
film — it seems shot from all the wrong angles. With two blue light sabers
flashing and a dark red and black background, much of the action is lost or
obscured. I’m sure the DVD outtakes will look great, but this is one
anticlimactic conflict. There is a truly effective moment at the conclusion,
and thanks again to Ewan McGregor, I felt the sense of despair and loss that
seems so crucial to the story.

Still, after
wondering more than once how this potentially mythic contest would play out,
Anakin’s fate was sadly unaffecting. Only brief moments hold power. As he is fully
conformed to Darth Vader’s suit, the film’s one truly great burst of humanity flashes
by. It’s a little thing, a shred of nuance, but thanks to a bit of silent acting from
Hayden Christiansen I now have a better understanding of one of cinema’s great
villains. As a mere glimpse, the moment is almost orphaned and I hope everyone
grabs hold of it.

Too soon afterwards,
however, Lucas is back to plundering memories of the original trilogy. The
prequels have been laden with nods to the design of the original films, some
even subtle, but in
Sith‘s dying moments the nostalgia machine goes into overdrive.
Instead of delving the despair of Anakin and the failure of Obi-Wan, much less
the loss of the Jedi order, Lucas throws up winks to his old movies. The last
shot pretends to be looking ahead to the hope embodied by
Star Wars. Instead, it
only looks back, longing for an achievement that will never come again.

5.0
out of 10

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